Chapter 650 The Hunger
wSarah took a deep breath and felt the frigid air of the second strata fill her lungs where she held it for a few long seconds before she exhaled, the wind of her breath so strong it nearly knocked over an ant who had been walking in front of her. She paid no mind, or rather, she didn"t notice at all, her attention was focused inward, all external distractions shoved away.
She took another deep, slow breath. In. Hold. Out. Wait. In. Hold. Out. Wait.
This was a cycle she remembered learning as a human on Earth, something her psychologist had told her would help her be calm. Cyclical breathing. That was the name of the technique. It had helped her, in her past life. Most of the time. She flinched away from the memories of her previous existence and once more focused on her breathing. Each stage five seconds long.
In. Hold. Out. Wait. In. Hold. Out. Wait.
Even though she wasn"t conscious of it, a team of ants crawled over the enormous bear as she lay sprawled on her belly. The great warrior Sarah had contributed much to the defence of the Colony and her unselfish fight had made the ants well disposed towards her. As she rested, they tended to her fur, cleaning it meticulously and ensuring there were no small wounds or barbs that may cause issues later. It was the same level of care with which they tended to each other before and after a battle, Sarah deserved that much. Also, they had noticed that she breathed easier when they were active around her, the aura of violence and malevolence that suffused the air around her abated when they drew close. From this they surmised that they were providing some sort of emotional comfort, another thing they were pleased to do.
From the wall of the tunnel, Jim watched silently as his companion battled her nature. He had created a burrow within the tunnel wall and only his head emerged, protruding into the open s.p.a.ce. From the moment Sarah had joined the front lines, he had been here also. Not to fight, he wasn"t much use for that, but to try and support his friend. He could feel her now, sense the internal struggle with his mind as she battled against the violent nature that had lain dormant so long within her.
[Sarah… ] he eventually asked, [are you alright over there?]
The great bear opened one eye and for a terrifying instant an overwhelming pressure of violence pressed into the consciousness of the worm, filling his mind with a hunger for battle. He wanted to rip, to tear, to do all sorts of non-worm like things. How would he even tear? Then Sarah released a great huff, knocked over another ant and the aura was gone, restrained once more in the depths of her mind.
[I"m fine,] she replied, [it"s alright. I"ve got it under control.]
She pushed her feet underneath herself and forced herself to standing, sending the cleaning crew on her back to scatter quickly. She turned to face her friend in the wall.
[See? No problem.]
The worm wiggled derisively.
[Sarah, you"re the worst liar I ever met. Putting that aside, I can still feel the malevolence inside you. I have very sensitive mental faculties, remember? You can"t conceal this from me.]
Sarah just sighed and shrugged her ma.s.sive bear shoulders.
[What do you want me to do about it? It"s not like I can just stop fighting.]
[Why not?] Jim asked indignantly, [you"ve done more than enough! How long do you expect to throw yourself against the golgari to defend a place that isn"t yours? You don"t owe …]
[Don"t I?] she cut in. [Are you sure that I don"t owe anything, Jim? If it weren"t for the Colony, if it weren"t for Anthony, where would I be now?]
[Then what about what you owe me?] the worm demanded. [Have I been useless? Have I not supported you and helped you escape? Huh? Don"t I deserve a little grat.i.tude?]
The two looked at each other for a long moment.
[So. What? You want me to pay you back by betraying the Colony? Is that it?] Sarah asked, her mental voice low and soft.
Jim recoiled as if struck.
[What? No! I mean…]
At that moment the two friends were interrupted as Coolant arrived.
[h.e.l.lo to you both,] the ant said once the mind bridges had stabilised. [I hope I find you well.]
[O-of course,] Sarah replied. [And you?]
The ant paused for a moment.
[I am also well. I am still not used to your human style greetings, I hope I was accurate.]
Sarah briefly wondered how the ants greeted each other and once the thought was in her head, she couldn"t shake it. She had to ask. In response, the mage ant turned to the nearby traffic. There was no visible response, but first the pa.s.sing ant"s antennae began to twitch, followed by Coolant"s.
[I told them to work hard,] the ant explained, [and they told me to stop slacking off.]
Sarah and Jim both stared at her.
[We usually encourage each other to work when we see others of the Colony. If we see them not working, we tell them to get to work. If we see them working hard, we tell them to keep it up.]
[Don"t you ever tell them to rest?] Jim wondered.
Coolant looked nervous for a second.
[No,] the ant muttered as she turned her body this way and that, as if searching for something, [we don"t say that.]
[Why do you look so nervous?] Sarah asked, confused by the transformation.
[I haven"t gone into torpor for a few days,] came the distracted reply, [I"d forgot about it until just now.]
[You haven"t slept? Why is that so worrying?]
[It"s nothing,] once again the mage was cool and composed, [I"ve been sent to let you know our plan for the upcoming defence.]
[Okay] said Sarah, [ I"m ready to fight anytime.]
She pointedly ignored the bristling worm in the wall.
[That is good. We are retreating.]
[Whe- wait… what?!]
[Retreating,] Coolant emphasised. She gestured with one leg toward the procession of ants making their way past. [As you can see the process has already begun. The generals have decided to cede the final stretch of defences in order to consolidate around the gates. Let the enemy extend themselves across the distance as we recuperate.]
Sarah was confused.
[I thought you wanted to fight for every inch of ground,] she protested, [wear the golgari down, has that changed?]
[We have worn them down,] Coolant told her, [in no small part thanks to you, we have been able to force them to pay a high price for advancing. There are many circ.u.mstances that led to this decision being made.]
[Like what?] having been so ready to throw herself back into the fight, Sarah was keen to understand the change.
[The mana is rising in the tunnels,] Coolant said, [the sp.a.w.n rates of the shadow creatures is rising. Extending our supply lines outside the nest is becoming more difficult and it is necessary to withdraw soldiers to defend the young. And if it is difficult for the Colony, with all our numbers, to hold off the beasts...]
[It"s worse for the golgari…]
[Just so. We antic.i.p.ate there will be another wave before too long. Though exactly when is not something we can guess. If we are able to repel the enemy at the gates, then our hope is that they will be forced to retreat when the Dungeon becomes too dangerous.]
Slowly, Sarah and Jim began to understand what this meant to the ants.
[The time for the final stand is fast approaching,] Coolant confirmed, [we will live or die based on the events of the next few days. Keep in mind Sarah and Jim, you are friends of the Colony but you are not compelled to fight. The battle will be fierce at the gates, so think carefully whether you want to fight. None will think less of you if you choose to sit out.]
The ant spoke to both of them, but all present understood it was to the great bear that her message was intended. Sarah wanted to reply immediately, but felt her thoughts constrict unexpectedly. Before she could force herself to agree, Coolant had vanished. Had she been less distracted she would have noticed the council member being dragged away quickly and silently by a team of ants as she struggled for freedom. With the liaison gone, she had little choice but to join the trail as they made their way back to the nest.