Cinderella Did Not Leave Her Shoe

Thin

She is too thin.

Her body in my arms was as fairylight as before. I didn’t have to bother with more than one arm, and she fitcomfortably leaving loads of room.

The Viscount didn’t eat much, sosurely Lady Fredericka did not eat much more as well. (Zuben: that’s what youthink)

I’m afraid I will break her, so Icould not hold her closer.

I was surprised that the Viscount,who had said he would come round to play when he had time, really appeared at thetraining grounds. But the surprise at his appearance was over taken by thesight of Lady Fredericka in his wake. She was wearing a simple green dress thatsuited her well. Her soft golden hair was shining in the sun, and swayingfluffily. She was beautiful in her natural glow; she didn’t need any extraaccessories.

The sight of her beauty left mespeechless, my heart became full, and then I seemed to have said somethingstupid and hurt her. She said something and gave a lonesome smile. That smilefilled my heart. While I was wondering how to speak to her, Lady Fredericka’sexpression fell and she ran off.

‘Excuse me,’ I said to the viscountand went after Fredericka. While it is not good for her to run like that... herrunning figure looked lovely (Zuben: Beyond smitten, dude). As I called out toher, she tripped. I immediately caught her.

‘Are you alright?’ I asked.

‘Well…yes.’ She replied.

‘Thank you for saving me.’ She said.Her ears, neck and face were gently stained with vermilion. This was what Zuziehad been talking about, how adorable!

I had missed her, I thought, as Itook her to the command tent. But I was conscious of the silence between us,and I was sorry that we were meeting in a place like this. It was break time,the soldiers were resting, or entertaining visitors and rebuilding brokenpractice tools.

‘Fredericka, what were you doing?’her father asked when we returned to the tent.

There, the Viscount was sittingcomfortably, getting served tea by Nicolo, my adjutant. The Viscount lookedlike it was only natural for him to be there, and Nicolo, who was my adjutant,was acting as his servant. (Zuben: Dude, there has been a Castley take-over andyou didn’t notice)

‘You can put me down now,’ she saidquietly pushing against my chest, but I did not feel like she was being totallyresistant to me. But I did not want to let her go, I want to hold her andcuddle her to me. (Zuben: Kyuu!)

‘I’m sorry father; I didn’t want tobe in the way of your discussion. So I decided to walk around.’

I remembered her graduallyretreating backside. Did you remember you were going to fall? You had yourhands on your cheeks and tripped.

Did you know, Lady Fredericka, thatwhen you fell the slender nape of your neck was exposed? (Zuben: And I want to chomp down on it)

Why did you put your golden hair inso high? That tempting nape would be revealed just by the wind blowing! It wasa hairstyle that could not be managed in a crisis! (Zuben: What does thatmean?) As I thought of more suitable hairstyles for Fredericka, the Viscountgave me grin implying I should put his daughter down.

The Viscount did not stop grinning.Nicolo was behaving more distant that usual, (Zuben: The Viscount is poachingyour aide) I did not mind. Lady Fredericka had a basket in her hands. Could itbe that inside it were Lady Fredericka’s handmade sandwiches? (Zuben: General,don’t expire from joy)

The Viscount said it was a rewardfor working hard. Lady Fredericka’s eyes widened at her father’s words. Theyhad come to deliver it, and did not intend on bothering every one. Though breaktime was nearly up, I will have it after we were done.

‘Thank you for the food.’ I said.

The Viscount and Lady Frederickamade to leave,

‘Do your best,’ Lady Frederickasaid in parting. As she lowered her head and walked away, her hair dancingsoftly. My chest tightened so much I thought I was going to be dizzy. (Zuben:Enough to faint?)

I will do my best for you,Fredericka!

I feel like I have reached thepoint of no return. My instincts told me this euphoria would be hard toreplace.

‘Father,’ I called as we made ourway back to town. I had a lot to ask, but for now I wanted to know, ‘How is itthat you are friendly with General Brennan?’

Instead of answering, he gave anindignant sputter and looked at me as though I had been bad, ‘Frederica, you…’he began to say, but he sighed and muttered to himself, ‘something is wrongsomewhere.’

He shifted in his seat, adjustedhis clothes and crossed his legs.

‘I just became friends with GeneralBrennan.’ He said finally with a smile. It was a suspicious smile. I didn’twant to be on the bad side of my father when he had that smile on. I pouted andturned away,

‘I would like to be on friendlyterms with the general too.’

I feel deeply beholden to theGeneral, I wonder if it was due to his integrity. I also feel comfortable whenI am near him. What do you do day to day? What do you think about? What do youlike and dislike? I want to know everything about him. I am being greedy. I wasafraid of approaching him, just in case he began to find me annoying.

I know my reputation is in tattersright now. There were rumours of me being a bad woman who didn"t know her place, anouveau riche chit with ideas above her station. But the thought that thegeneral might think of me as someone like that makes my heart hurt. But even if thatwasn’t the case, the way he carried me earlier, it was like he was carrying achild.

It couldn’t be helped, from theGeneral’s point of view, I am a child.

It seems that the General is notyet married. It’s not like he couldn’t get married, but he must be to busy too.If he tried, it wouldn’t be hard; he was such a nice person.  He could have his pick of beautiful women,and then he will marry and then I will be forgotten.

Be forgotten…

I feel queasy. (Zuben: Well youwere working yourself up into a lather, dear)

‘You want to talk to the General?Do you think he wants to talk to you?’ Father asked smiling his mean smile,resting his chin on his hand while his elbow rested on the window frame of thecarriage.

‘What about you father, what do youhave to talk about with General Brennan?’

‘I can provide…useful information tothe general.’ (Zuben: Bad father! LOL)

I had nothing to reply to that. Ofcourse, Father would use “information” as a commodity. (Zuben: You should askwhat information, Fredericka) Fresh and correct information is the mostimportant commodity. (Zuben: It certainly is) However, it is unclear what kindof information Father would have that the general would want to buy. (Zuben:Stop over thinking it)

If you want to sell fatherinformation, you’re going to have good value. It is a matter of supply anddemand, and interpersonal communication. As for me? I’m not good at it, but Ihave been told Mother was very good at the art.

I should study more.

Between the General and I, we do nothave the opportunity to develop it.  

‘Well I also have goods. I love theGeneral, only I can offer that. There!’

But when I turn, Father isn’tlaughing.

What do you love about GeneralBrennan who is not even interested in you? His look seemed to be saying.

‘Well, maybe.’ He said instead.

My face got hot as a blush stoleover me. Maybe – maybe not? Well loving the general is impossible for myfather, but not for me.

Oh, what should I do? I’m happy. Itried to keep down the smile that wanted to steal my face, but father suddenlysaid,

‘It’s not good. Father does notapprove. There is a large difference in age! And also physique!’

Hmm? Why was he shouting?

‘Is the difference in age andphysique related to making sandwiches? Or maybe the amount of mayonnaise touse?’

Hm? (Zuben: What are you talkingabout?)

Well, the General must eat a lot,so it would be hard to make that many. But I already gave him a basket full? Idecide to make sandwiches for General Brennan. Father? Father who?

‘I’m happy that General Brennanlikes what I made. Even if it isn’t sold, I will still do it.’ I will also makeit for father. Because I am happy father likes the sandwiches, too.

The first time I made it, he hadbeen angry.

Father collapsed on the back restin a slovenly manner and smiled. I mimicked him and smiled back.

‘Well, it’s true that the general likes yoursandwiches.’

He told me that he had shared thesandwiches with General Brennan when they had lunch together.

‘Fredericka, do you wantsomething?’ he asked with an expression that said he wanted to spoil me. Healso looked a bit tired.

‘Oh, then I would like to go to“Kalome”’ I reply excitedly

He nodded and got the attention ofthe coachman to tell him of the impromptu stop.

‘Let me think a bit,’ he said andthen closed his eyes.

It was silent in the carriage.

(Zuben: Don’t ask me what the t.i.tlemeans. It’s what the play they go to see is called)

Volker…

I return home exhausted from theday’s activities. Zuzie handed me a slip of paper. I looked at him in askance,

‘It is a flyer for a play that hasbecome popular with the Ladies of Society.’

I read the flyer; the font waspretty, there was a woman dancing under an arch in the moonlight. The actorsand the theatre were perfect.

‘Very good, get tickets for this.’

Xavier bowed, just as he was aboutto turn to go, he stopped and asked, ‘Would you like me to buy box seats?’

‘…Yes. Just us.’

In a box seat, there would be achance for an ambiguous atmosphere. Even though is seems a misunderstandingwill work…what?

In case of things needing to beproper, we can sit in the seats in front. If there are no objections, we couldsit on the couch set a bit back from the balcony, the stage can be seen wellbut we would be out of view of other people.

I looked at Xavier, who had aslight smile on his face, as though he knew what I was thinking. I coughed andturned away, and there was a small laugh. I turned back to protest but mycapable butler was now where to be seen.

(Zuben: What would a j.a.paneseWestern Historical be without its capable butlers? h.e.l.l what would anyhistorical?)

Although it bothered me, I wasresponsible for Xavier’s behaviour. When I was younger, I was never able tocommit to matchmaker meetings. I was just a young soldier, and so I used torefuse, stating I was busy. Before I noticed it, I was still unmarried at thisage. (Zuben: y’all marry too young anyhoo)

It seems that my unmarried state isgiving my family a headache. My parents want to embrace their grand children. (Zuben:So do my parents)

There were still families whowanted their daughters to marry me. And there were the one night stands withladies that wanted to play with fire…no wait, that’s not what is importantright now. (Zuben: Aww, we want to hear of your s.e.xy past)

Right now, what is important is thepossibility of becoming an item with Lady Fredericka. Even if Viscount Castleywould not like it.

Lady Fredericka was seventeen,eighteen years younger than me. But this did not make any difference to me. Andthere was no mistake she would still be skittish after her engagementabandonment. There was no way a beautiful girl with her future ahead of herwould fall into the arms of a crude soldier like me.

Yet…

The thought of her doesn’t leave mymind.

I can’t forget the feeling I had whenI first saw her. I had thought she was a fairy, but she didn’t vanish from myarms. The feeling of her in my arms would not disappear. At our next meeting, Iwas totally captured by her sweet and caring manner, and her innocent smile.

And the other day, after I ate hersandwiches for lunch though they were not at the level of a proper cook likethe Viscount said, I realised not just my heart but my stomach had beencaptured.

I sent the basket back with aletter of thanks, flowers and chocolate from a popular sweet shop in thecastle, according to Xavier. A courtesy letter returned with homemade cakes andtarts. I had to write a letter of appreciation, so I ate all the cakes myself.It seemed that she had refrained from making them too sweet, so that someonelike me who didn’t like sweets could eat them. Xavier had been amazed. My chestbecame hot at such kind attention.

I finally decided to ask her to thetheatre like I had promised.

♢

Checking that it was recess for theHouse of Lords, I went to find Viscount Castley. I found him relaxing in the garden;he sat up when he saw me. Checking there was no one else about, I took out theflyer.

‘h.e.l.lo General, are you also on abreak?’ the Viscount asked. He looked sleepy. I smiled and said,

‘I wanted to invite Lady Frederickato the theatre. Is this alright?’

The Viscount Castley who has becomea friend, told me a lot about Lady Fredericka. The food she likes, what she didfrom day to day, her childhood mishaps. I couldn’t help but smile thinking oflistening to the adorable episodes. It would be unreasonable to inviteFredericka without her father’s knowledge. It would be like betrayal.

But Fredericka’s position is veryshaky. Though she was no longer engaged to the heir to Duke Cajes, for her toappear in society with a much older man who is not her fiancé; would fuelanother spate of rumours about her.

If her father did not agree, Iwould ask him again another time.

The Viscount rubbed his jaw whilelooking at me. This was his habit when he was thinking. (Zuben: Or pretendingto think)

‘Well, we just need to do somethingeye catching. Let’s meet in the cafeteria for lunch. Tell Nicolo not to botherreserving a table for us. It would be better to have people around. I havesomething to say. Do you agree?’

Agree? Why would I not agree?

Without waiting for my reply, theViscount rose to leave. Before he returned to the halls he asked, ‘Which play?Have you bought tickets?’

‘Yes, I bought tickets for thenight after tomorrow. The play is “Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s”’

The play seemed to be a love storyand the moonlight gra.s.s shining in the dark between the lovers (Zuben: Orsomething of the like. Sounds like a snoozer)

The Viscount nodded and quicklyreturned to the chambers.

I remained there a while, taking deepbreaths, relieved that the Viscount did not refuse me outright. I returned tomy office.

♢

‘Oh I’m in trouble.’ The Viscountsaid with his head in his hands. There was a cup of tea beside him. We had justfinished our lunch. The cafeteria was filled with other people.

‘What has happened, or is theresome difficult agenda in the House?’

‘No, I had promised my daughter Iwould take her to a play, but I forgot about it and now I have an importantbusiness meeting for the same evening,’

What was he talking about? Had hepromised to take Fredericka to the play as well?

‘Which play?’ I asked.

‘That popular one, Night of theMoonlight Gra.s.s. I’ve bought the tickets. My daughter really wants to go. Whatto do?’

Is this a small show for thebenefit of the others? (Zuben: Smart man)

‘That’s unfortunate, isn’t it?’ Ireplied, ‘What about your wife?’

‘My wife is going with me to mymeeting. I feel bad; my daughter’s reputation is in a bad way, she will have togo to the play alone.’ The Viscount said with a shrug.

He didn’t openly glare, but I couldfeel it burning in the edges of his eyes, (Zuben: Not so smart man)

‘I guess.’

I swallowed anger as I drink myblack tea.

‘Oh General, can I ask you afavour?’ (Zuben: Sorry daddy, you have an idiot pair on your hands)

It came!

I wonder how I should agree tothis.

‘I will not fail Lady Fredericka’s reputation;I will take good care of her. ‘

I bowed to the Viscount.

Does this mean the odds are good?

Hope you all are having good times!

If not; the dark tunnel may be long, but there is light at the end of it. Keep well.