She opened her eyes, and his thoughts must have been written clear as day on his face, for her smile wavered. Still, she didn"t flinch or pull away as he caressed her cheek, gently sliding his finger across the soft skin. Her eyes closed, and she leaned toward him.
Warm sun bathed them, and he felt as if an air of enchantment surrounded them. Slowly, tenderly, he kissed her, and she responded with an innocence that enticed him. With restraint he softly kissed again, as his hands framed her small face. She opened her eyes, and in their golden depths he saw surprise. And the first stirrings of the very same yearning he felt within.
She didn"t resist when he put his hand behind her head, sifting his fingers through her damp hair. Slowly, gently, they explored each other"s facial contours. Adam fought to keep his touch light and his thoughts from straying past kissing. He must not breach her fragile trust. Like any wounded creature, she must be allowed to come to him in her own time, in her own way, if he held any hope of quenching his thirst for her.
And despite their forced handfast, despite the possibility she loved another, despite her desire to leave Moy, he most definitely wanted more from her. He wanted love. At that thought he deepened the kiss, only a fraction of what he wanted, yet it must have alarmed her, for she jerked away.
GWENYTH SAT BACK and stared at Adam, astounded at the emotions he"d sparked with a few tender kisses. And even more surprised that he was attracted to her in the first place. These kisses held all the promise she"d sensed in their first meeting in Leod"s hall, before Leod had made her unlovable.
Adam frightened her, not because he would harm her physically. He had never frightened her that way. But now that she knew him better, she knew beyond doubt that the promises in his kisses would be her undoing, for he would fulfill them beyond imagination. She must not allow it, for both their sakes. As much as she was willing to open her heart a little, to see what life might be like with this man, she was still promised to another.
He sighed and stood, offering his hand to help her up, which she declined, much to his apparent disappointment. "You trusted me in the water."
It was true, she had. But here on the rock everything had changed. Did he sense it too? She gazed at him warily.
"Then why can"t you trust me now?"
She shivered, and it wasn"t from the cold. "You are a man." A wonderful man whom I do not want to hurt.
He grinned. "Aye, and you are a woman. A very pretty woman, even with your hair pasted to your head." He bent and kissed her lightly on the cheek.
She leapt from the rock and ran to where her clothes lay.
" "TWAS ONLY A KISS," he called after her. Why must she be so upset over a chaste kiss? She was pulling her gown over her damp chemise, her movements hurried, nearly frantic.
As he walked toward her, she backed away, tying her girdle and looking for all the world like a frightened animal.
He put his hands out like a supplicant. "Gwenyth, it was only a kiss. What harm can be done with an innocent kiss?"
"It wasn"t just a kissa"it was gentle."
"Aye, as a kiss between friends should be."
"Friends?"
He wanted to place his hands on her shoulders, but knew better than to try. "Can we not allow at least that between us, Gwenyth? Surely friendship is something we both need."
"I admit to a lack of friends, my laird." She regarded him with uncertainty. "We needn"t kiss to be friends, though."
"Nay, but you must learn to trust or you will never be comfortable as a wife. That is what I would teach you, Gwenyth. Trust. Nothing more."
"I am not one of those wounded creatures your mother spoke of, Adam."
"Ah, but you are in need of healing."
Her fingers wound through the strings of her girdle. "I fear this healing, Adam. The cure is fraught with temptation."
There was no recrimination, no censure in her voice. Only the truth, plainly spoken.
"You go to the quick, my lady."
"I see no need to avoid what must be acknowledged. If I am to remain, we must come to an understanding."
"I thought we had one."
She twisted her belt ends tighter. "Then perhaps, I"m asking if it still stands."
"Why wouldn"t it?"
Her gaze seemed to reach down into his very soul, to see what lay hidden there. As if she knew his secrets. As if she knew of his imaginings of her in his armsa" "You are staring as if I frighten you." There was no alarm in her words, only acknowledgment.
"You do frighten me, Gwenyth." He swallowed so hard he felt certain she could hear for herself just how she affected him.
She blushed, head averted, before bringing her gaze back to meet his. "So, am I correct in thinking we are both . . . drawn to each other?"
Adam groaned and ran his hand roughly through his hair. It was worse than he"d thought. With iron discipline he held himself back from stepping toward her and pulling her into his arms. "Aye. Drawn begins to cover it."
Then he looked at her. She was smiling, and suddenly they were both laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Her laugh was wonderful, light and musical, balm for a weary soul.
"I shall have to give you reason to laugh more often, lady. "Tis a healing sound."
They sobered, each appraising the other.
Adam glanced down at his hands, hands that, had they a will of their own, would be touching her this very moment. He crossed his arms. "I remain firm in my vowa"there can be nothing but kisses between us until we have the blessing of a priest."
"A binding union would be a disaster, Adam. Attraction or no, I am not ready. I have made promises I must keep. There can be no future for us together."
Daron again. He fought the jealousy and calmly said, "I believe we have been brought together for a reason, Gwenyth. Fate, destiny, G.o.d"s will. I will remain open to the possibility that we were meant to stay together. Will you?"
She didn"t answer, but her expression became troubled.
"We are fools, Gwenyth, to think we can avoid G.o.d"s will no matter what is revealed to us."
She continued to knot the material in her girdle. "And you think it is G.o.d"s will that we make the marriage a true one?"
"I think we must be open to that possibility, yes."
"Perhaps my cousin will rescue us."
He chuckled. "From G.o.d?"
She looked stricken by his words, and he laid a hand upon hers to still them. "And if there is no rescue?"
"Then perhaps you will take me to England yourself."
"And if I refuse?"
"Then I suppose I"ll have no choice but to accept you as husband."
Brave words, from a nervous maid. "Then we will not speak of this again." He took a deep breath. "Well, at least one thing has come of this conversation."
She lifted her eyebrows in question.
"At least we know we aren"t suffering alone."
Their shared laughter eased the tension between them. He extended his hand. "Friends?"
She squeezed his palm, her pet.i.te features serious again. "Aye, friends and fools."
He leaned close, grazing her cheek with his lips.
She backed away from him, begging him with her eyes not to tempt her, grabbed the remainder of her clothes, and fled. Adam started after her, then thought better of it.
His disappointment died to be replaced by a hurt he"d not felt since Suisan"s visit to his sickbed. Gwenyth"s rejection pierced deep. No, not the rejection, but the betrayal. For Gwenyth had promised someone something, and that promise meant a denial of him.
If she truly loved Daron, then betrayal was inevitable. He must harden his hearta""twas time to set this creature free. Her wound might never heal, and she had far too much potential for wounding him. But he was ready to move into new country, whether it be a mountain peak or a steep chasm that he must face.
THIRTEEN.
DISOBEYING ADAM"S REQUEST that she eat in the hall, Gwenyth picked at the hot porridge and bread that had been brought to her just after first light. Yesterday"s encounter with Adam had provided her with a terrible night"s rest. She felt unsettled and more eager than ever to leave. Thoughts of the kiss they"d shared and the promises held withina"promises that must not be kepta"a.s.sailed her. Surely you can"t want this, Father.
Pushing aside the food, she fought the sense of abandonment Daron"s absence fostered. Why was it taking so long to hear from him? She refused to believe he"d left Scotland without her, but surely the messenger had had enough time to ride to Altyre and return.
Tears threatened. He must be dead, as Adam feared. And if so, how would she leave Moy? Could she convince Adam to take her to England? Not likely. After yesterday"s meeting in the cove, it was clear there was an attraction, one she feared was strong enough to make her forget her promise to Edward. But was it strong enough to make her forget that Adam was pledged to the king she hated? Or for him to forgive her deceit?
Seeking a diversion from these thoughts, she left her room with her guard in tow. She made her way to the large bedchamber on the second level of the keep. As she approached Angus"s door, Eva Mackintosh stepped from the room.
The older woman frowned a little at the sight of Gwenyth approaching. Eva was generally kind, but she guarded Angus like a lioness. The older woman held the door open and directed a curt warning to her husband. "Don"t tire yerself." With a nod to Gwenyth to heed the warning as well, Eva left.
"Ah, I feared ye would choose not to indulge me again."
His teasing banter warmed Gwenyth"s troubled thoughts. "I didn"t think I had a choice."
"I don"t suppose ye did. So, which tale will ye tell this morning?"
His insistence on her company puzzled her. "Don"t you have a storyteller to entertain you?"
"We can"t afford both a storyteller and a priest, and Adam insists on keeping Father Jerard. Not that I object, mind you. The good Father is welcome in good times and bad."
Gwenyth had yet to allow the priest to hear her confession. She would make her peace with G.o.d in her own time and in her own way.
Angus settled himself into the pillows. "Why not start with Finn Macc.u.mhail?"
And so the morning pa.s.sed quickly. To her surprise she found herself warming even more to the gruff old man as she recounted the ancient tale of Finn and his warriors. Though no doubt Angus had heard the story countless times, he listened with rapt attention.
This was the third such morning Gwenyth had spent with Adam"s father, and his company soothed her, perhaps because he was in ill health and posed no threat. Perhaps because she missed her own father and menfolk, men with whom she could feel safe.
"Come, la.s.s. That"s the second time this morning ye"ve lost yer way in the story."
"I"m sorry, my laird." She bit her lip.
"Yer worried about yer cousin, I suspect."
She nodded, and when she was sure her emotions were under control, asked, "Have you heard anything?"
"Only that Adam is searching for him." The fatherly concern in his voice fueled her anxiety.
Laying a hand on her arm, he said, "Come. I"ve an idea to distract ye. I"ve a mind to watch my son on the practice field."
"You can"t mean to go to the lists?"
At her obvious disapproval, he chided, "Where"s yer sense of adventure? Help me dress and let"s be out for a bit of a walk."
Gwenyth hadn"t seen Angus leave his bed in all the time she"d been at Moy. "Nay, my laird. You"ll overtax yourself and Lady Evaa""
"Don"t dawdle, child. Fetch my plaid from yonder hook and let"s spy on the men in the lists."
The diversion appealed to Gwenytha"anything to take her mind off Daron"s lack of reply. But she was certain Angus should remain in bed. "I fear for your health, my laird."
"At this stage, what does it matter, la.s.s? I"m not going to live forever, and I"m tired of this room and bed. Now, help me or call someone who will."
They both knew no one else would indulge his wish. All Gwenyth need do was refuse and he"d have no choice but to remain in his bed.
His beguiling smile reminded her of his son. How did anyone, man or woman, deny these two? That smile, along with the lure of fresh air and the opportunity to watch Adam, overcame her objections and good sense.
With a put-upon air, she joined his conspiracy. "All right, we"ll go. But Lady Eva will turn us into haggis for this."
He chuckled. "Aye, well, best see she doesn"t find out. Let"s be on with it."
Feeling like a bairn playing truant, she helped him from the bed. With a few grumbles from Angus and giggles from Gwenyth, they managed to get his plaid belted fast. As she pinned the extra length to his shoulder, she gave thanks that his long linen shirt provided modesty.
Leaning on her for support, Angus shuffled to the door. "Ye"ll need a shawl, la.s.s. Use that small plaid hanging by the door."
She wrapped the warm material about her shoulders before asking, "What about my guard?"
"I"ll invite him to join us."
Sim didn"t appear too happy with this escapade, but Gwenyth persuaded and finally, Angus ordered, and he relented, turning toward the stairs.
"Nay, not that way," Angus admonished, nodding in the opposite direction.