And the job us has had with this big lump sure*ly*! Both the handles come off long ago. I wish my missus had got a featherbed half the weight of that. Five-and-twenty year I"ve been along of this company, man and boy, but I never see such a direction as that there in all my born days. Did ever you, Jim?"
"Well," replies Jim, "I"ve seed a many queer ones, but none as could come up to that. And who"d a thought after all their trouble--for I"m blessed if they wrote that there under a week--who"d a" thought they"d a put "Waun" on it when they meant "Walence." But the young lady is awaiting for us to drink her health, Ben, and a merry Christmas to her."
"How much is the carriage?" I ask, trembling for my change of the half-sovereign.
"Nothing, miss. Only eightpence for delivery. It be paid to Paddington, and if ever our Company airned eightpence, I"m blessed if they haven"t airned it now. Thank you, Miss, and werry handsome on you, and us hopes the contents will prove to your liking, Miss, and make you a merry Christmas."
Away they go with the smoking horses, after carrying into the little kitchen the mighty maun, which Mrs. Shelfer, with my a.s.sistance, could not stir.
"Bless me, Miss Valence, what a direction!" cries Mrs. Shelfer, when the full light falls upon it.
The direction was written in round hand upon a strip of parchment, about four inches wide and at least eight feet in length. It came from the bottom all up over the cover and down upon the other side, so that no one could open the basket without breaking it asunder. It was as follows:--
"Miss Clara Vaughan lodges at number seven in Prince Albert Street in London town near Windsor Castle in Gloucestershire the daughter of Mr.
Henry Valentine Vaughan Esquire a nice tall young lady her always wears black things and walks very peart pale with a little red on her cheeks when they lets her alone can"t be no mistake without it be done a purpose If so be this here little maun hain"t brought to her safe and sweet and wholesome will be prosecuted with the _utmost rigour of the law_ signed John Huxtable his mark x witness Timothy Badc.o.c.k his"n X."
I wondered much whether Mr. Beany Dawe had been called in to achieve this masterpiece of ma.n.u.script, which was all in large round hand, but without any stops. It seemed beyond poor Sally"s art, yet were some loops and downstrokes that must be dear little Sally"s. I took it off with much trouble--the parchment was joined in four places--and I have it now.
Meanwhile Mrs. Shelfer was dancing around it, neglecting her supper in the wonder of this gigantic hamper. "Let me get a chopper, Miss, you"ll never get it open. Why it"s sewed as tight as an oyster."
However, I did get it open at last, and never shall I forget the contents. There was a month"s food for a family of twelve. First came hay, such as I never smelt out of Devonshire; then eighteen rolls of b.u.t.ter, each with a snowy cloth around it; the b.u.t.ter so golden even at that time of year, that Mrs. Shelfer compared it to the yolk of an egg looking out of the white. Then a storey of clotted cream and beautiful lard and laver, which they knew I loved. Then a floor of hay. Below it a pair of guinea fowls, two large turkeys, and most carefully wrapped from the rest a fine hare filled with dried sweet herbs. Below these a flitch of bacon, two wood-smoked hams, a pair of tongues, a leg of Exmoor mutton, and three bottles of best elder wine. Then a brown paper parcel containing Sally"s last copy-book (I had set her copies for half a year to come) and a long letter, the first I had ever received from Tossil"s Barton.
When all was out at last, after the greatest delight and laughter as each thing appeared, I fell back in utter dismay at the spectacle before me. Mrs. Shelfer sat on the floor unable to find her way out, she was so flounced and tippeted with good things. When I came to her relief, she did nothing but go round and round what was left of the little room, humming a Catholic hymn, and pressing both hands to her side.
But something must be done at once. Waste is wickedness; how could we stave it off? Everything would depend upon the weather. At present all was beautifully fresh, thanks to the skilful packing and the frost, albeit the mighty package had made the round of all the Albert Streets in London. Mrs. Shelfer would have looked at it for a month, and at intervals exclaimed, "Bless me, my good friend, that beats Charley"s pockets. How they must eat in Devonshire!"
"Come, Mrs. Shelfer, what good are you at housekeeping? You don"t help me at all. Let us put most of it out of doors at once. You have no cellar, and I suppose they have none in London. At least we can give it the chance of the open air, and it is not snowing now."
"Oh, but the cats, Miss!"
"Well, I must find some plan for them before we go to bed. Now come and help, that"s a good little creature, and I"ll give you some elder wine when we have done."
So we got all that was taintable into the little yard, while Tom, who never stole, except when quite sure of impunity, looked on very sagely.
There we fixed it all up to the wall secure, except from cats, of whom a roving band serenaded me every night. I presented Mrs. Shelfer at once with a turkey--a specimen of natural history not found by the roadside, even on Mr. Shelfer"s Sabbath journey--also a ham, and three rolls of b.u.t.ter. As to the rest, I would think what to do with it afterwards.
Mrs. Shelfer kept off the cats until midnight, after which I held them at bay by the following means. With one of my mineral paints mingled with some phosphorus, I drew upon a black board a ferocious terrier, the size of life, with fangs unsheathed, bristles erect, and eyes starting out of his head. We tried the effect in the dark on poor Tom, who arched his back, and sputtered with the strongest execration, then turned and fled ign.o.bly, amid roars of laughter from Mr. Shelfer, who by this time was come home. This one-headed Cerberus being hung so as to oscillate in the wind, right across the cat-leap, I felt quite safe, so long as my chemical mixture should continue luminous.
CHAPTER XV.
Dear little Sally"s letter gave me the greatest delight. It was all in round hand, and had taken at least a week to write, and she must have washed her hands almost every time. There were no stops in it, but I have put some. The spelling was wonderfully good for her, but here and there I have shaped it to the present fashion.
"Please Miss Clara dear, father and mother and I begs their most respectable duty and love and they hopes no offence and will you be so kind as to have this here little hamper and wishes it was ten times as much but hopes you will excuse it and please to eat it all yourself Miss. All the pegmate be our own doctrine, and very wholesome, and we have took all the hair off, please Miss, because you said one time you didn"t like it. Likely you"ll remember, Miss, the young black sow as twisted her tail to the left, her as Tim was ringing the day as I wrote first copy, and the other chillers ran out, well most of it be she, Miss. Father say as he don"t think they ever see b.u.t.ter in London town, but Beany Dawe says yes for they makes a plenty out of red herrings and train oil.
Please Miss, Tabby Badc.o.c.k would go on the ice in the old saw-pit last Sunday, by the upper linhay when I told her it would not bear, and so her fell through and would have been drownded at last, only our little Jack crawled over the postesses and give her his heel to hold on by, and please Miss it would have done your heart good, mother says, to see how Tim Badc.o.c.k dressed her when he come home from church for getting her best frock all of a muck.
Please Miss, Beany Dawe come when you was gone, and made a poem about you, and father like it so much he give him free of the cider and as he was going home he fell into a bit of a ditch down Breakneck hill, and when he come to himself the road had taken to run the wrong way Beany don"t know how for the life of him, so he come back here "nolus wolus"
he saith and that be the way to spell it and no mistake, and here he have been ever since a-making of poems and sawing up h.e.l.lums out of the lower cleeve, and he sleepth in the onion loft and Suke can"t have no rest of nights for the noise he makes making verses. Mother tell Suke to pote him down stairs and too good for him, but father say no, he be a fine chap for sure and airneth his meat and drink, let alone all the poetry.
Please Miss he wanted to larn me to write, but father say no I had got better learning than hisn, and I say he may learn Tabby Badc.o.c.k if he will, but he shan"t learn me. No tino."
How she tossed her pretty curls when she wrote this I"ll be bound. I wished that I could see her.
"Please Miss I be forced to write this when he be away, or he"d a made it all in poetry; and Tim Badc.o.c.k tell me to be sure to tell you as how at the wrastling to Barnstaple fair, week after you was gone, father was so crule unkid that in playing off the ties he heaved a Cornisher up through the chandelier, and a come down with a candle stuck so fast down his throat doctor was forced to set it a-fire and blow with a pair of bellises afore he could put him to rights. Cornisher be all right again now, Tim saith, but he have a made up his mind not to wrastle no more in Devonshire.
Please Miss, father saith before this here goes he"ll shoot the old hare as sits in the top of the cleeve if Queen Victoria transports him for it with hard labour. Tim have made four pops at her, but he say the powder were crooked.
Please Miss Clara, all the eggs as my little black hen have laid, since the last of the barley was housed, is to be sewed up inside the Turkey with the black comb; he be strutting about in the court and looking at me now as peart as a gladdy; but her have not laid more than a dozen to now, though I have been up and whistled to her in the tall at every morning and evening same as we used to do when you was in good spirits.
But the other hens has not laid none at all.
Please Miss, father say as how he have sold such a many beasties, he be afeared to keep all the money in the house, and he have told mother to sew up the rent for next Ladyday in the turkey with the white comb when he be killed and he humbly hope no offence.
Please Miss Clara, us has had three letters from you, and I reads them all to father and mother every Sunday evening, and Joe the Queen"s boy don"t know but what he lost another one in leathering the jacka.s.s across the brook after the rain. Joe tells as he can"t say for certain, because why he baint no scholar the same as us be, and Joe only knows the letters by the pins they sticks in his sleeve afore he leaves Martinhoe. Whoever "twas for he thinks there was crockery in it by reason it sunk so quick. Anyhow mother give him a little tap with a mop on the side of his head, to make him mind the Queen"s business, and didn"t he holler a bit, and he flung down the parson"s letters all in the muck, but us washed them in a bucket and let parson have them on Sunday. Joe Queen"s boy haven"t been nigh us since, and they did say to Martinhoe us shouldn"t have no more letters, but father say if he don"t he will show the man there what a forehip mean pretty smart.
Please Miss Clara, us would have written afore, but mother say no, not till I finish twelve copybooks one every week, that the folks to London town might see the way as they ought to write and spell. Father say London be in Gloucestershire, but I am most sure it baint, and Beany Dawe shake his head and won"t tell, and mother believe he don"t know.
Please Miss, there be a new babby come a month agone and better, and mother find out as how it be a girl, and please if you have no objection Miss, and if you don"t think as it would be a liberty, us has all made up our minds upon having it christened Clara, and please to say Miss if it be too high, or any way unfitty. Father be "most afeared that it sound too grand for the like of us, but mother says as the Huxtables was thought brave things on, to Coom and Parracombe a hundred years agone.
Please Miss, father heard to Coom market last week, as there"s going to be a French invasion, and they be sure to go to London first, and he beg you to let him know as soon as ever there be one, and he come up at once with the big ash-stick and the ivy on it as growed in Challacombe wood, and see as they doesn"t hurt you, Miss.
Please Miss, the young chap as saved you from the great goyal come here to ask for you, day after you was gone, and mother believes he baint after no good, by token he would not come in nor drink a drop of cider.
Please Miss, father say it make his heart ache every night, to think of you all to yourself in the wicked London town, and he go down the lane to the white gate every evening in the hope to see you acoming, and mother say if you be a selling red and blue picturs her hope you will send for they as father gave the hog"s puddens for, and us wont miss them at all.
And Miss Clara dear, I expect you"ll be mazed to see how I writes and spells, father say it must be in the family, and I won"t write no more till I have finished another dozen of copy books; and oh dear how I do wish that you were come back again, but father say to me to say no more about it for fear to make you cry, Miss. All the little childers except the new babby who have not seen you yet, sends their hearts" loves and duty and a hundred kisses, and father and mother the same, and Timothy Badc.o.c.k, and Tabby, and Suke, and Beany Dawe, now he knows it.
I remain, Miss Clara dear, your thankful and loving scholar to command,
SARAH HUXTABLE.
Signed all this here papper scrawl in the settle by the fire.
JOHN HUXTABLE his mark X HONOR HUXTABLE hern X."
CHAPTER XVI.
I was much grieved at the loss of my last letter to Tossil"s Barton, because it contained my little Christmas presents for all the family.
It was registered for security, but I suppose they "took no count" of that where the delivery of letters depended so much upon luck. Of their Christmas present to me I resolved to give the surplus to those who would be the better for it, and not (according to the usual law of such things) to those who did not want it, and would make return with interest. So on the Christmas morning Mrs. Shelfer and myself, each carrying a large basket, went to the mews round the corner, and distributed among the poor lodgers there, more Christmas dinners than had ever entered those doors before; and how grateful the poor things were, only they all wanted the best.
Now the school of design was closed for a while, and I worked hard for several days at the landscape for Mr. Oxgall, though the store of provisions sent me and the rent enclosed in the turkey had saved me from present necessity.
On the day of all days in the year the saddest and darkest to me, I could not keep to my task, but went for a change of thoughts to the school, now open again.