"Stop now, Balak, put your foot there. She can"t push us both in, I believe; leastways not without battery and contempt of court. Now what do you think of this?"--And he whispered to his grimy friend.
"Well, that beats all I ever heer"d on. Let you alone for brains, Balaam, and me for muscle and pluck!"
"Now, young lady," began Balaam in a diplomatic tone, "me and my mate here be in a const.i.tution of trust, or else you may take your oath, and never a pervarication, we never would keep an agreeable young female"--here he gave me two ogles intended for one--"on the flinty stones so long; only we can"t say if you mean honest, and there be such a many bad ones going, and we"ve got a leary file inside. Now listen to what I say. There"s a dog as big as a lion in the room as you calls yourn; and he do show his teeth, and no mistake. We be afeared to show our noses there, even at the command of dooty. You can hear him growling now like all the Strand and Fleet Street; and my mate Balak here leave half his breeches behind him, saving your presence, Miss, and lucky to get off so. Now if so be you undertakes, honour bright, to march straight into that front room, my mate and self have concluded to let you in."
"Of course I will," said I, smiling at their terrors. So I paid the cabman, took up my little bag, and ran right up the stairs. Balaam and Balak feared to come round the corner. "You must unlock the door, Miss," cried one of them, "we was forced to lock him in."
"Oh Judy, my darling Judy, my own pet love of a Judy." He let me say no more; his paws were on my shoulders, and I was in a shower-bath of kisses. In the ecstasy of my joy, I forgot all about the two men and their mysterious doings, and flung myself down on a chair, while Judy, out of his mind with delight, even tried to sit on my lap. He whinnied, and cried, and laughed, and yelled, and could find no vent for his feelings, until he threw his great head back and told all in a wow-wow, that must have been heard in Oxford Street. A little familiar knock, and Mrs. Shelfer appeared, looking rather better than ever.
"Why, dear Mrs. Shelfer, how glad I am to see you! And you look much younger, I declare!"
"And, Miss, you do look bootiful, bootiful, my good friend! Splendid things,"--I was dressed a little better, but still in sombre colours--"splendid, Miss Vaughan, and how you becomes "em to be sure!
Talk of Miss Idols after that, why it"s the Queen to a gipsy! And pray, Miss, if I may make so bold, what did you give for this? it beats my sarcenet dress, I do believe."
"Nothing, Mrs. Shelfer, only a little kiss."
"Gracious me, Miss, then you"ve been and got engaged, and to a lord at least. I heard you were come into your great fortune at last; more than all Middles.e.x they tell me, Regency Park and all! And that poor straight-legged young man, as come here every day to see Judy, and to ask for you."
"Now, Mrs. Shelfer, don"t talk nonsense,"--my heart was jumping, but I did not want her to see it. "I only hope you haven"t said a word to him about these foolish reports."
"Me, Miss! Do you think I would now?"
"Yes; I know by your face you have. You can"t cheat me, Mrs. Shelfer.
Never mind, if you have not mentioned my name." It never struck me that Conrad would be frightened at my money.
"No, never, Miss, as I hope to be saved." And she crossed herself, which I had never seen her do.
"Come, Mrs. Shelfer, now; I"ve got some pretty little trifles for you in this bag."
She jumped with pleasure; she was so fond of knick-knacks: then she put her fingers on her lips and went to the door and listened. Presently she came back with a mysterious air.
"Pray, Miss, as you are so very kind, excuse my taking the liberty, but would you mind giving Judy the bag in his paws? no fear of them getting it there."
"Why, what on earth is the matter? Why didn"t you let me in? Who are those nasty men?"
"Oh, it"s nothing, Miss; nothing at all to speak of: only they knocks my sticks so in making the inwentory, and the one they made last time, and the time before, would do every bit as well. But they charges for it, every time, the rogues--and they dare to put the chairs down lackered and American cloth, good, morocco as ever was, and as if Miss Minto--"
"Now, Mrs. Shelfer, tell me in two words what it means. Is it a sale?"
"No, no, Miss, I should hope not; only an execution, and them two men are the bailiffs; civil tongues enough, and very good judges of porter and periwinkles. They"re the ones as come last time; but I"d sooner have the old ones, jolly fellows they were, and knew how to wink both eyes.
But that cross-eyed thief--"
"And have they got my things, Mrs. Shelfer?"
"No, Miss; only what few was in the bedroom; they daren"t come here for Judy. It was as much as their lives were worth. If I had known they was coming, I"d have had him at the front door, but they locked him in as soon as he got a piece out of the other fellow"s leg. Bless me, how he did holloa!"
"Do you mean to say, Mrs. Shelfer, that they have taken possession of my things in my bedroom?"
"To be sure, Miss. I said they was yours, and of course they wouldn"t believe me, and the folding door was shut, but Judy would have broken it down only they put the bedstead again it. Gracious me! I never see a dog take on so in all my life! He was like a roaring lion."
"I should rather hope so. Giudice, I commend you; and I"ve a great mind to let you out, and what is more, I will if they don"t give me back my things. Surely, Mrs. Shelfer, they have no right to my property."
"Well, so I say, Miss; because it isn"t for the landlord; but they won"t believe they are yours."
"If they don"t believe me pretty soon, Giudice shall convince them. He is a judge you know, and I"ve no idea of robbery any more than he has.
But who is doing all this, and why do you seem so unconcerned about it?
I should cry my eyes out, I am sure."
"Bless your pretty heart, Miss; this makes the fifteenth time I"ve had them here in the last four years. At first I was terribly put out, and made myself a figure crying; but now I only think it"s company, and they drink as if they was, that"s certain. You must have seen the inwentories, Miss, round the candles lots of times. Only one thing they does that don"t strike me as wery honourable, though it"s law I b"lieve; they charges me, and wery high too, for eating up my victuals, and they will have meat four times a day. Why, that Balak, him with his breeches gone--"
"Who put them in, Mrs. Shelfer, and how much is it for?"
"Oh, it"s one of Charley"s bills or notes, of course. Quinlan holds it, him as keeps "the little dust-pan," down Maiden Lane, and Charley says that all he got for it was ten shillings and a waggon-load of water-cresses. Now they"ll be here directly, Miss, with you to keep the dog in. Excuse me, Miss, I see you have got one of them new wide things as go all round and up--capital things, I must have one before they come again. And could you manage to sit upon the sofa, Miss, and the three best chairs in your petticoat, with the tea-poy on your lap?"
"What on earth do you mean, Mrs. Shelfer?"
"Why, Miss, they can"t lay hold of any article in use, I believe, and you have got so much room in your things."
"Do you suppose I intend to let them come here, for a moment? Now let me look at my bedroom. Come, Judy."
"Oh, Miss, they did have such a hunt here for Charley"s double-barrel gun; a regular beauty it is, and that big rogue Quinlan is after it.
They know it all round this neighbourhood, it was made by a famous maker, Joe something, I b"lieve, and the best he ever made; it was poor Miss Minto"s brother"s; and they shan"t have it, not one of "em. I"d sooner shoot them with it. I keeps it always in the safest place I knows on, and twice a year I see that it don"t get rusty."
"What safe place do you keep it in?"
She put her little mouth up to my ear, and her little hand up to her mouth, and whispered--
"At the broker"s, Miss, in Barbican. He has had it now six years. It"s in for a quarter its value, but that"s all the better for me: I have less to pay for keeping it, and I carries the ticket night and day in my bosom. And do you know, my good friend, they thought they had got it just now; they got a key that fitted that box of yours, that you always locked so carefully, and they made sure that was it; ha, ha, how I laughed at them when they opened it!"
"What! have they dared to open my mahogany box?" It was the repository of my precious relics.
"To be sure they did, Miss, and they found such curious things there! A lovely thing all set with jewels, they said, a baggonet fit for the Duke of Wellington, and plaster shapes like a cobbler"s last, and coloured paper with queer letters on it, and a piece of long black hair, and a plan with distances on it--Lor, Miss, what on earth is the matter?
Water! water! You"re like death--Balaam! Balak!"
"Stop, Mrs. Shelfer"--I had fallen on the bed--"I would not for ten thousand pounds have had that box exposed to those low ruffians, ransacked, and even catalogued. If I can punish them I will; and you too, you low, miserly, meddling, inquisitive old crone."
She cared for nothing--though afterwards she told me she never saw such eyes in her life--until I luckily called her an "old crone." At that, she fell back upon the towel-horse, and sobbed with both hands over her eyes, as if her heart would break. I had pierced her in the tenderest point--her age.
I did not feel sorry for her at all for at least two minutes, but let her cry away. "Serves her right," I thought. Even if she could not have stopped them from opening that box of mine, at any rate she had no right to gossip about it, and enjoy it all, as she evidently had done.
Furthermore, I knew well that she had always been on the tingle to learn the contents of that box, and many a time I had baffled her. Now she had triumphed thoroughly, and I should not have been female if I had calmly allowed it. But seeing her great distress (through all of which she talked, with sobs for affirmations), I began to think what a pity it was; then to wonder whether she deserved it all; next, to believe that she had done no harm; lastly, to feel that I had been a brute.
Thereupon I rushed to coax and kiss her, wiped away her tears with my own lawn handkerchief--the feel of which consoled her, for the edge was lace--and begged her pardon fifty times in a thousand foolish words.
Finally she was quite set up again by this:
"I tell you, my dear Patty, when I come to your age, when I am five and thirty"--she was fifty-two at least--"I shall fully deserve to be called an old woman for this; and much older I shall look, there is no doubt, than you do."
"Right, my good friend, you are quite right there"--this expression showed me that she herself was right.--"Why the young man from the butcher"s, he said to me this morning, and beautiful black hair reminded me of yours, Miss, all stuck together with the fat from off the kidneys--"
"Come, Mrs. Shelfer, let me see about my box."