For my part, I would not have put the cup from me, though married, had it been but in hope of finding reason to confirm my good opinion of my wife"s honour; and that I might know whether I had a snake or a dove in my bosom.
To my point--"What must that virtue be which will not stand a trial?--What that woman who would wish to shun it?"
Well, then, a trial seems necessary for the furthest establishment of the honour of so excellent a creature.
And who shall put her to this trial? Who, but the man who has, as she thinks, already induced her in lesser points to swerve?--And this for her own sake in a double sense--not only, as he has been able to make some impression, but as she regrets the impression made; and so may be presumed to be guarded against his further attempts.
The situation she is at present in, it must be confessed is a disadvantageous one to her: but, if she overcome, that will redound to her honour.
Shun not, therefore, my dear soul, further trials, nor hate me for making them.--"For what woman can be said to be virtuous till she has been tried?
"Nor is one effort, one trial, to be sufficient. Why? Because a woman"s heart may at one time be adamant, at another wax"--as I have often experienced. And so, no doubt, hast thou.
A fine time of it, methinks, thou sayest, would the woman have, if they were all to be tried--!
But, Jack, I am not for that neither. Though I am a rake, I am not a rake"s friend; except thine and company"s.
And be this one of the morals of my tedious discussion--"Let the little rogues who would not be put to the question, as I may call it, choose accordingly. Let them prefer to their favour good honest sober fellows, who have not been used to play dog"s tricks: who will be willing to take them as they offer; and, who being tolerable themselves, are not suspicious of others."
But what, methinks thou askest, is to become of the lady if she fail?
What?--Why will she not, "if once subdued, be always subdued?"
Another of our libertine maxims. And what an immense pleasure to a marriage-hater, what rapture to thought, to be able to prevail upon such a woman as Miss Clarissa Harlowe to live with him, without real change of name!
But if she resist--if n.o.bly she stand her trial?--
Why then I will marry her; and bless my starts for such an angel of a wife.
But will she not hate thee?--will she not refuse--
No, no, Jack!--Circ.u.mstanced and situated as we are, I am not afraid of that. And hate me! Why should she hate the man who loves her upon proof?
And then for a little hint at reprisal--am I not justified in my resolutions of trying her virtue, who is resolved, as I may say, to try mine? Who has declared that she will not marry me, till she has hopes of my reformation?
And now, to put an end to this sober argumentation, Wilt thou not thyself (whom I have supposed an advocate for the lady, because I know that Lord M. has put thee upon using the interest he thinks thou hast in me, to persuade me to enter the pale; wilt thou not thyself) allow me to try if I cannot awaken the woman in her?--To try if she, with all that glowing symmetry of parts, and that full bloom of vernal graces, by which she attracts every eye, be really inflexible as to the grand article?
Let me begin then, as opportunity presents--I will; and watch her every step to find one sliding one; her every moment to find the moment critical. And the rather, as she spares me not, but takes every advantage that offers to puzzle and plague me; nor expect nor thinks me to be a good man.
If she be a woman, and love me, I shall surely catch her once tripping: for love was ever a traitor to its harbourer: and love within, and I without, she will be more than woman, as the poet says, or I less than man, if I succeed not.
Now, Belford, all is out. The lady is mine; shall be more mine.
Marriage, I see, is in my power, now she is so. Else perhaps it had not.
If I can have her without marriage, who can blame me for trying? If not, great will be her glory, and my future confidence. And well will she merit the sacrifice I shall make her of my liberty; and from all her s.e.x honours next to divine, for giving a proof, "that there was once a woman whose virtue no trials, no stratagems, no temptations, even from the man she hated not, could overpower."
Now wilt thou see all my circulation: as in a gla.s.s wilt thou see it.--CABALA, however, is the word;* nor let the secret escape thee even in thy dreams.
* This word, whenever used by any of these gentlemen, was agreed to imply an inviolable secret.
n.o.body doubts that she is to be my wife. Let her pa.s.s for such when I give the word. "Mean time reformation shall be my stalking-horse; some one of the women in London, if I can get her hither, my bird." And so much for this time.
LETTER XIX
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE [IN ANSWER TO LETTERS IX. XV.]
Do not be so much concerned, my dearest friend, at the bickerings between my mother and me. We love one another dearly notwithstanding.
If my mother had not me to find fault with, she must find fault with somebody else. And as to me, I am a very saucy girl; and were not this occasion, there would be some other, to shew it.
You have heard me say, that this was always the case between us.
You could not otherwise have known it. For when you was with us, you harmonized us both; and, indeed, I was always more afraid of you than of my mother. But then that awe is accompanied with love. Your reproofs, as I have always found, are so charmingly mild and instructive; so evidently calculated to improve, and not to provoke; that a generous temper must be amended by them. But hear now, mind my good mamma, when you are not with us--You shall, I tell you, Nancy. I will have it so.
Don"t I know best, I won"t be disobeyed. How can a daughter of spirits bear such language; such looks too with the language; and not have a longing mind to disobey?
Don"t advise me, my dear, to subscribe to my mother"s prohibition of correspondence with you. She has no reason for it. Nor would she of her own judgment have prohibited it. That odd old ambling soul your uncle, (whose visits are frequenter than ever,) instigated by your malicious and selfish brother and sister in the occasion. And they have only borrowed my mother"s lips, at the distance they are from you, for a sort of speaking trumpet for them. The prohibition, once more I say, cannot come from her heart: But if it did, is so much danger to be apprehended from my continuing to write to one of my own s.e.x, as if I wrote to one of the other? Don"t let dejection and disappointment, and the course of oppression which you have run through, weaken your mind, my dearest creature, and make you see inconveniencies where there possibly cannot be any. If your talent is scribbling, as you call it; so is mine--and I will scribble on, at all opportunities; and to you; let them say what they will. Nor let your letters be filled with the self-accusations you mention: there is no cause for them. I wish that your Anna Howe, who continues in her mother"s house, were but half so good as Miss Clarissa Harlowe, who has been driven out of her father"s.
I will say nothing upon your letter to your sister till I see the effect it will have. You hope, you tell me, that you shall have your money and clothes sent you, notwithstanding my opinion to the contrary--I am sorry to have it to acquaint you, that I have just now heard, that they have sat in council upon your letter; and that your mother was the only person who was for sending you your things, and was overruled. I charge you therefore to accept of my offer, as by my last: and give me particular directions for what you want, that I can supply you with besides.
Don"t set your thought so much upon a reconciliation as to prevent your laying hold of any handsome opportunity to give yourself a protector; such a one as the man will be, who, I imagine, husband-like, will let n.o.body insult you but himself.
What could he mean by letting slip such a one as that you mention? I don"t know how to blame you; for how you go beyond silence and blushes, when the foolish fellow came with his observances of the restrictions which you laid him under when in another situation? But, as I told you above, you really strike people into awe. And, upon my word, you did not spare him.
I repeat what I said in my last, that you have a very nice part to act: and I will add, that you have a mind that is much too delicate for your part. But when the lover is exalted, the lady must be humbled. He is naturally proud and saucy. I doubt you must engage his pride, which he calls his honour: and that you must throw off a little more of the veil.
And I would have you restrain your wishes before him, that you had not met him, and the like. What signifies wishing, my dear? He will not bear it. You can hardly expect that he will.
Nevertheless, it vexed me to the very bottom of my pride, that any wretch of that s.e.x should be able to triumph over Clarissa.
I cannot, however, but say, that I am charmed with your spirit. So much sweetness, where sweetness is requisite; so much spirit, where spirit is called for--what a true magnanimity!
But I doubt, in your present circ.u.mstances, you must endeavour after a little more of the reserve, in cases where you are displeased with him, and palliate a little. That humility which he puts on when you rise upon him, is not natural to him.
Methinks I see the man hesitating, and looking like the fool you paint him, under your corrective superiority!--But he is not a fool. Don"t put him upon mingling resentment with his love.
You are very serious, my dear, in the first of the two letters before me, in relation to Mr. Hickman and me; and in relation to my mother and me. But as to the latter, you must not be too grave. If we are not well together at one time, we are not ill together at another. And while I am able to make her smile in the midst of the most angry fit she ever fell into on the present occasion, (though sometimes she would not if she could help it,) it is a very good sign; a sign that displeasure can never go deep, or be lasting. And then a kind word, or kind look, to her favourite Hickman, sets the one into raptures, and the other in tolerable humour, at any time.
But your case pains me at heart; and with all my levity, both the good folks most sometimes partake of that pain; nor will it be over, as long as you are in a state of uncertainty; and especially as I was not able to prevail for that protection for you which would have prevented the unhappy step, the necessity for which we both, with so much reason, deplore.
I have only to add (and yet it is needless to tell you) that I am, and will ever be,
Your affectionate friend and servant, ANNA HOWE.
LETTER XX