It was Ladyship at every word; and as she seemed proud of her t.i.tle, and of her dress too, I might have guessed that she was not used to either.
What say you, cousin Lovelace? Lady Sarah, though a melancholy woman, is very inquisitive about all your affairs. I must acquaint her with every particular circ.u.mstance when I go down.
With all his heart. He would attend her whenever she pleased. She would see very handsome apartments, and very civil people.
The deuce is in them, said the Miss Montague, if they appear other to us.
She then fell into family talk; family happiness on my hoped-for accession into it. They mentioned Lord M."s and Lady Sarah"s great desire to see me: how many friends and admirers, with uplift hands, I should have! [Oh! my dear, what a triumph must these creatures, and he, have over the poor devoted all the time!]--What a happy man he would be!
--They would not, the Lady Betty said, give themselves the mortification but to suppose that I should not be one of them!
Presents were hinted at. She resolved that I should go with her to Glenham-hall. She would not be refused, although she were to stay a week beyond her time for me.
She longed for the expected letter from you. I must write to hasten it, and to let Miss Howe know how every thing stood since I wrote last. That might dispose me absolutely in her favour and in her nephew"s; and then she hoped there would be no occasion for me to think of entering upon any new measures.
Indeed, my dear, I did at the time intend, if I heard not from you by morning, to dispatch a man and horse to you, with the particulars of all, that you might (if you thought proper) at least put off Mrs. Townsend"s coming up to another day.--But I was miserably prevented.
She made me promise that I would write to you upon this subject, whether I heard from you or not. One of her servants should ride post with my letter, and wait for Miss Howe"s answer.
She then launched out in deserved praises of you, my dear. How fond she should be of the honour of your acquaintance.
The pretended Miss Montague joined in with her, as well for herself as for her sister.
Abominably well instructed were they both!
O my dear! what risks may poor giddy girls run, when they throw themselves out of the protection of their natural friends, and into the wide world!
The then talked again of reconciliation and intimacy with every one of my friends; with my mother particularly; and gave the dear good lady the praises that every one gives her, who has the happiness to know her.
Ah, my dear Miss Howe! I had almost forgot my resentments against the pretended nephew!--So many agreeable things said, made me think, that, if you should advise it, and if I could bring my mind to forgive the wretch for an outrage so premeditatedly vile, and could forbear despising him for that and his other ungrateful and wicked ways, I might not be unhappy in an alliance with such a family. Yet, thought I at the time, with what intermixture does every thing come to me that had the appearance of good!
----However, as my lucid hopes made me see fewer faults in the behaviour of these pretended ladies, than recollection and abhorrence have helped me since to see, I began to reproach myself, that I had not at first thrown myself into their protection.
But amidst all these delightful prospects, I must not, said the Lady Betty, forget that I am to go to town.
She then ordered her coach to be got to the door.--We will all go to town together, said she, and return together. Morrison shall stay here, and see every thing as I am used to have it, in relation to my apartment, and my bed; for I am very particular in some respects. My cousin Leeson"s servants can do all I want to be done with regard to my night-dresses, and the like. And it will be a little airing for you, my dear, and a want of your apparel to be sent from your former lodgings to Mrs.
Leeson"s; and we can bring it up with us from thence.
I had no intention to comply. But as I did not imagine that she would insist upon my going to town with them, I made no answer to that part of her speech.
I must here lay down my tired pen!
Recollection! heart-affecting recollection! how it pains me!
LETTER LXIX
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE
In the midst of this agreeableness, the coach came to the door. The pretended Lady Betty besought me to give them my company to their cousin Leeson"s. I desired to be excused: yet suspected nothing. She would not be denied. How happy would a visit so condescending make her cousin Leeson!----Her cousin Leeson was not unworthy of my acquaintance: and would take it for the greatest favour in the world.
I objected my dress. But the objection was not admitted. She bespoke a supper of Mrs. Moore to be ready at nine.
Mr. Lovelace, vile hypocrite, and wicked deceiver! seeing, as he said, my dislike to go, desired his Ladyship not to insist upon it.
Fondness for my company was pleaded. She begged me to oblige her: made a motion to help me to my fan herself: and, in short, was so very urgent, that my feet complied against my speech and my mind: and being, in a manner, led to the coach by her, and made to step in first, she followed me: and her pretended niece, and the wretch, followed her: and away it drove.
Nothing but the height of affectionate complaisance pa.s.sed all the way: over and over, what a joy would this unexpected visit give her cousin Leeson! What a pleasure must it be to such a mind as mine, to be able to give so much joy to every body I came near!
The cruel, the savage seducer (as I have since recollected) was in a rapture all the way; but yet such a sort of rapture, as he took visible pains to check.
Hateful villain! how I abhor him!--What mischief must be then in his plotting heart!--What a devoted victim must I be in all their eyes!
Though not pleased, I was nevertheless just then thoughtless of danger; they endeavouring thus to lift me up above all apprehensions of that, and above myself too.
But think, my dear, what a dreadful turn all had upon me, when, through several streets and ways I knew nothing of, the coach slackening its pace, came within sight of the dreadful house of the dreadfullest woman in the world; as she proved to me.
Lord be good unto me! cried the poor fool, looking out of the coach--Mr.
Lovelace!--Madam! turning to the pretended Lady Betty!--Madam! turning to the niece, my hands and eyes lifted up--Lord be good unto me!
What! What! What! my dear.
He pulled the string--What need to have come this way? said he--But since we are, I will but ask a question--My dearest life, why this apprehension?
The coachman stopped: his servant, who, with one of her"s was behind, alighted--Ask, said he, if I have any letters? Who knows, my dearest creature, turning to me, but we may already have one from the Captain?-- We will not go out of the coach!--Fear nothing--Why so apprehensive?--Oh!
these fine spirits!--cried the execrable insulter.
Dreadfully did my heart then misgive me: I was ready to faint. Why this terror, my life? you shall not stir out of the coach but one question, now the fellow has drove us this way.
Your lady will faint, cried the execrable Lady Betty, turning to him--My dearest Niece! (niece I will call you, taking my hand)--we must alight, if you are so ill.--Let us alight--only for a gla.s.s of water and hartshorn--indeed we must alight.
No, no, no--I am well--quite well--Won"t the man drive on?--I am well-- quite well--indeed I am.--Man, drive on, putting my head out of the coach --Man, drive on!--though my voice was too low to be heard.
The coach stopt at the door. How I trembled!
Dorcas came to the door, on its stopping.
My dearest creature, said the vile man, gasping, as it were for breath, you shall not alight--Any letters for me, Dorcas?
There are two, Sir. And here is a gentleman, Mr. Belton, Sir, waits for your honour; and has done so above an hour.
I"ll just speak to him. Open the door--You sha"n"t step out, my dear--A letter perhaps from Captain already!--You sha"n"t step out, my dear.
I sighed as if my heart would burst.
But we must step out, Nephew: your lady will faint. Maid, a gla.s.s of hartshorn and water!--My dear you must step out--You will faint, child-- We must cut your laces.--[I believe my complexion was all manner of colours by turns]--Indeed, you must step out, my dear.
He knew, said I, I should be well, the moment the coach drove from the door. I should not alight. By his soul, I should not.