cried one----A lady of so much generosity and good sense! Another--How charmingly she writes! the two maiden monkeys, looking at her find handwriting: her perfections my crimes. What can you expect will be the end of these things! cried Lady Sarah--d----d, d----d doings! vociferated the Peer, shaking his loose-fleshe"d wabbling chaps, which hung on his shoulders like an old cow"s dewlap.
For my part, I hardly knew whether to sing or say what I had to reply to these all-at-once attacks upon me!-Fair and softly, Ladies--one at a time, I beseech you. I am not to be hunted down without being heard, I hope. Pray let me see these letters. I beg you will let me see them.
There they are:--that"s the first--read it out, if you can.
I opened a letter from my charmer, dated Thursday, June 29, our wedding-day, that was to be, and written to Lady Betty Lawrance. By the contents, to my great joy, I find the dear creature is alive and well, and in charming spirits. But the direction where to send an answer to was so scratched out that I could not read it; which afflicted me much.
She puts three questions in it to Lady Betty.
1st. About a letter of her"s, dated June 7, congratulating me on my nuptials, and which I was so good as to save Lady Betty the trouble of writing----A very civil thing of me, I think!
Again--"Whether she and one of her nieces Montague were to go to town, on an old chancery suit?"--And, "Whether they actually did go to town accordingly, and to Hampstead afterwards?" and, "Whether they brought to town from thence the young creature whom they visited?" was the subject of the second and third questions.
A little inquisitive, dear rogue! and what did she expect to be the better for these questions?----But curiosity, d----d curiosity, is the itch of the s.e.x--yet when didst thou know it turned to their benefit?-- For they seldom inquire, but what they fear--and the proverb, as my Lord has it, says, It comes with a fear. That is, I suppose, what they fear generally happens, because there is generally occasion for the fear.
Curiosity indeed she avows to be her only motive for these interrogatories: for, though she says her Ladyship may suppose the questions are not asked for good to me, yet the answer can do me no harm, nor her good, only to give her to understand, whether I have told her a parcel of d----d lyes; that"s the plain English of her inquiry.
Well, Madam, said I, with as much philosophy as I could a.s.sume; and may I ask--Pray, what was your Ladyship"s answer?
There"s a copy of it, tossing it to me, very disrespectfully.
This answer was dated July 1. A very kind and complaisant one to the lady, but very so-so to her poor kinsman--That people can give up their own flesh and blood with so much ease!--She tells her "how proud all our family would be of an alliance with such an excellence." She does me justice in saying how much I adore her, as an angel of a woman; and begs of her, for I know not how many sakes, besides my soul"s sake, "that she will be so good as to have me for a husband:" and answers--thou wilt guess how--to the lady"s questions.
Well, Madam; and pray, may I be favoured with the lady"s other letter?
I presume it is in reply to your"s.
It is, said the Peer: but, Sir, let me ask you a few questions, before you read it--give me the letter, Lady Betty.
There it is, my Lord.
Then on went the spectacles, and his head moved to the lines--a charming pretty hand!--I have often heard that this lady is a genius.
And so, Jack, repeating my Lord"s wise comments and questions will let thee into the contents of this merciless letter.
"Monday, July 3," [reads my Lord.]--Let me see!--that was last Monday; no longer ago! "Monday, July the third--Madam--I cannot excuse myself"--um, um, um, um, um, um, [humming inarticulately, and skipping,]--"I must own to you, Madam, that the honour of being related"----
Off went the spectacles--Now, tell me, Sir-r, Has not this lady lost all the friends she had in the world for your sake?
She has very implacable friends, my Lord: we all know that.
But has she not lost them all for your sake?--Tell me that.
I believe so, my Lord.
Well then!--I am glad thou art not so graceless as to deny that.
On went the spectacles again--"I must own to you, Madam, that the honour of being related to ladies as eminent for their virtue as for their descent."--Very pretty, truly! saith my Lord, repeating, "as eminent for their virtue as for their descent, was, at first, no small inducement with me to lend an ear to Mr. Lovelace"s address."
There is dignity, born-dignity, in this lady, cried my Lord.
Lady Sarah. She would have been a grace to our family.
Lady Betty. Indeed she would.
Lovel. To a royal family, I will venture to say.
Lord M. Then what a devil---
Lovel. Please to read on, my Lord. It cannot be her letter, if it does not make you admire her more and more as you read. Cousin Charlotte, Cousin Patty, pray attend----Read on, my Lord.
Miss Charlotte. Amazing fort.i.tude!
Miss Patty only lifted up her dove"s eyes.
Lord M. [Reading.] "And the rather, as I was determined, had it come to effect, to do every thing in my power to deserve your favourable opinion."
Then again they chorus"d upon me!
A blessed time of it, poor I!--I had nothing for it but impudence!
Lovel. Pray read on, my Lord--I told you how you would all admire her ----or, shall I read?
Lord M. D----d a.s.surance! [Then reading.] "I had another motive, which I knew would of itself give me merit with your whole family: [they were all ear:] a presumptuous one; a punishably-presumptuous one, as it has proved: in the hope that I might be an humble mean, in the hand of Providence, to reclaim a man who had, as I thought, good sense enough at bottom to be reclaimed; or at least grat.i.tude enough to acknowledge the intended obligation, whether the generous hope were to succeed or not."
--Excellent young creature!--
Excellent young creature! echoed the Ladies, with their handkerchiefs at their eyes, attended with music.
Lovel. By my soul, Miss Patty, you weep in the wrong place: you shall never go with me to a tragedy.
Lady Betty. Hardened wretch.
His Lordship had pulled off his spectacles to wipe them. His eyes were misty; and he thought the fault in his spectacles.
I saw they were all c.o.c.ked and primed--to be sure that is a very pretty sentence, said I----that is the excellency of this lady, that in every line, as she writes on, she improves upon herself. Pray, my Lord, proceed--I know her style; the next sentence will still rise upon us.
Lord M. D----d fellow! [Again saddling, and reading.] "But I have been most egregiously mistaken in Mr. Lovelace!" [Then they all clamoured again.]--"The only man, I persuade myself"----
Lovel. Ladies may persuade themselves to any thing: but how can she answer for what other men would or would not have done in the same circ.u.mstances?
I was forced to say any thing to stifle their outcries. Pox take ye altogether, thought I; as if I had not vexation enough in losing her!
Lord M. [Reading.] "The only man, I persuade myself, pretending to be a gentleman, in whom I could have been so much mistaken."
They were all beginning again--Pray, my Lord, proceed!--Hear, hear--pray, Ladies, hear!--Now, my Lord, be pleased to proceed. The Ladies are silent.
So they were; lost in admiration of me, hands and eyes uplifted.
Lord M. I will, to thy confusion; for he had looked over the next sentence.