How does she look?
Better than could be expected from yesterday"s fatigue, and last night"s ill rest.
These tender doves know not, till put to it, what they can bear; especially when engaged in love affairs; and their attention wholly engrossed. But the s.e.x love busy scenes. Still life is their aversion.
A woman will create a storm, rather than be without one. So that they can preside in the whirlwind, and direct it, they are happy.--But my beloved"s misfortune is, that she must live in tumult; yet neither raise them herself, nor be able to controul them.
LETTER x.x.xIV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.
SAT NIGHT, JUNE 10.
What will be the issue of all my plots and contrivances, devil take me if I am able to divine. But I will not, as Lord M. would say, forestall my own market.
At four, the appointed hour, I sent up, to desire admittance in the Captain"s name and my own.
She would wait upon the Captain presently; [not upon me!] and in the parlour, if it were not engaged.
The dining-room being mine, perhaps that was the reason of her naming the parlour--mighty nice again, if so! No good sign for me, thought I, this stiff punctilio.
In the parlour, with me and the Captain, were Mrs. Moore, Miss Rawlins, and Mrs. Bevis.
The women said, they would withdraw when the lady came down.
Lovel. Not, except she chooses you should, Ladies.--People who are so much above-board as I am, need not make secrets of any of their affairs.
Besides, you three ladies are now acquainted with all our concerns.
Capt. I have some things to say to your lady, that perhaps she would not herself choose that any body should hear; not even you, Mr. Lovelace, as you and her family are not upon such a good foot of understanding as were to be wished.
Lovel. Well, well, Captain, I must submit. Give us a sign to withdraw, and we will withdraw.
It was better that the exclusion of the women should come from him, than from me.
Capt. I will bow, and wave my hand, thus--when I wish to be alone with the lady. Her uncle dotes upon her. I hope, Mr. Lovelace, you will not make a reconciliation more difficult, for the earnestness which my dear friend shows to bring it to bear. But indeed I must tell you, as I told you more than once before, that I am afraid you have made lighter of the occasion of this misunderstanding to me, than it ought to have been made.
Lovel. I hope, Captain Tomlinson, you do not question my veracity!
Capt. I beg your pardon, Mr. Lovelace--but those things which we men may think lightly of, may not be light to a woman of delicacy.--And then, if you have bound yourself by a vow, you ought--
Miss Rawlins bridling, her lips closed, (but her mouth stretched to a smile of approbation, the longer for not b.u.t.toning,) tacitly showed herself pleased with the Captain for his delicacy.
Mrs. Moore could speak--Very true, however, was all she said, with a motion of her head that expressed the bow-approbatory.
For my part, said the jolly widow, staring with eyes as big as eggs, I know what I know.--But man and wife are man and wife; or they are not man and wife.--I have no notion of standing upon such niceties.
But here she comes! cried one, hearing her chamber-door open--Here she comes! another, hearing it shut after her--And down dropt the angel among us.
We all stood up, bowing and courtesying, and could not help it; for she entered with such an air as commanded all our reverence. Yet the Captain looked plaguy grave.
Cl. Pray keep your seats, Ladies--Pray do not go, [for they made offers to withdraw; yet Miss Rawlins would have burst had she been suffered to retire.] Before this time you have all heard my story, I make no doubt-- pray keep your seats--at least all Mr. Lovelace"s.
A very saucy and whimsical beginning, thought I.
Captain Tomlinson, your servant, addressing herself to him with inimitable dignity. I hope you did not take amiss my declining your visit yesterday. I was really incapable of talking upon any subject that required attention.
Capt. I am glad to see you better now, Madam. I hope I do.
Cl. Indeed I am not well. I would not have excused myself from attending you some hours ago, but in hopes I should have been better. I beg your pardon, Sir, for the trouble I have given you; and shall the rather expect it, as this day will, I hope, conclude it all.
Thus set; thus determined; thought I,--yet to have slept upon it!--But, as what she said was capable of a good, as well as a bad, construction, I would not put an unfavourable one upon it.
Lovel. The Captain was sorry, my dear, he did not offer his attendance the moment he arrived yesterday. He was afraid that you took it amiss that he did not.
Cl. Perhaps I thought that my uncle"s friend might have wished to see me as soon as he came, [how we stared!]--But, Sir, [to me,] it might be convenient to you to detain him.
The devil, thought I!--So there really was resentment as well as head- ache, as my good friend Mrs. Bevis observed, in her refusing to see the honest gentleman.
Capt. You would detain me, Mr. Lovelace--I was for paying my respects to the lady the moment I came--
Cl. Well, Sir, [interrupting him,] to wave this; for I would not be thought captious--if you have not suffered inconvenience, in being obliged to come again, I shall be easy.
Capt. [Half disconcerted.] A little inconvenience, I can"t say but I have suffered. I have, indeed, too many affairs upon my hands; but the desire I have to serve you and Mr. Lovelace, as well as to oblige my dear friend, your uncle Harlowe, make great inconveniencies but small ones.
Cl. You are very obliging, Sir.--Here is a great alteration since you parted with us last.
Capt. A great one indeed, Madam! I was very much surprised at it, on Thursday evening, when Mr. Lovelace conducted me to your lodgings, where we hoped to find you.
Cl. Have you any thing to say to me, Sir, from my uncle himself, that requires my private ear!--Don"t go, Ladies, [for the women stood up, and offered to withdraw,]--if Mr. Lovelace stays, I am sure you may.
I frowned--I bit my lip--I looked at the women--and shook my head.
Capt. I have nothing to offer, but what Mr. Lovelace is a party to, and may hear, except one private word or two, which may be postponed to the last.
Cl. Pray, Ladies, keep your seats.--Things are altered, Sir, since I saw you. You can mention nothing that relates to me now, to which that gentleman can be a party.
Capt. You surprise me, Madam! I am sorry to hear this!--Sorry for your uncle"s sake!--Sorry for your sake!--Sorry for Mr. Lovelace"s sake!--And yet I am sure he must have given greater occasion than he has mentioned to me, or--
Lovel. Indeed, Captain,--indeed, Ladies, I have told you great part of my story!--And what I told you of my offence was the truth:--what I concealed of my story was only what I apprehended would, if known, cause this dear creature to be thought more censorious than charitable.
Cl. Well, well, Sir, say what you please. Make me as black as you please--make yourself as white as you can--I am not now in your power: that consideration will comfort me for all.
Capt. G.o.d forbid that I should offer to plead in behalf of a crime, that a woman of virtue and honour cannot forgive! But surely, surely, Madam, this is going too far.
Cl. Do not blame me, Captain Tomlinson. I have a good opinion of you, as my uncle"s friend; but if you are Mr. Lovelace"s friend, that is another thing; for my interest and Mr. Lovelace"s must now be for ever separated.
Capt. One word with you, Madam, if you please--offering to retire.