I looked round me there, and went into two open-door bed-chambers; searched the closets, and the pa.s.sages, and peeped through the key-hole of another: no Miss Harlowe, by Jupiter! What shall I do!--what shall I do! as the girls say.--Now will she be grieved that she is out of the way.
I said this on purpose to find out whether these people knew the lady"s story; and had the answer I expected from Mrs. Smith--I believe not, Sir.
Why so, Mrs. Smith? Do you know who I am?
I can guess, Sir.
Whom do you guess me to be?
Your name is Mr. Lovelace, Sir, I make no doubt.
The very same. But how came you to guess so well, dame Smith! You never saw me before, did you?
Here, Jack, I laid out for a compliment, and missed it.
"Tis easy to guess, Sir; for there cannot be two such gentlemen as you.
Well said, dame Smith--but mean you good or bad?--Handsome was the least I thought she would have said.
I leave you to guess, Sir.
Condemned, thought I, by myself, on this appeal.
Why, father Smith, thy wife is a wit, man!--Didst thou ever find that out before?--But where is widow Lovick, dame Smith? My cousin John Belford says she is a very good woman. Is she within? or is she gone with Miss Harlowe too?
She will be within by-and-by, Sir. She is not with the lady.
Well, but my good dear Mrs. Smith, where is the lady gone? and when will she return?
I can"t tell, Sir.
Don"t tell fibs, dame Smith; don"t tell fibs, chucking her under the chin: which made John"s upper-lip, with chin shortened, rise to his nose.
--I am sure you know!--But here"s another pair of stairs: let us see: Who lives up there?--but hold, here"s another room locked up, tapping at the door--Who"s at home? cried I.
That"s Mrs. Lovick"s apartment. She is gone out, and has the key with her.
Widow Lovick! rapping again, I believe you are at home: pray open the door.
John and Joseph muttered and whispered together.
No whispering, honest friends: "tis not manners to whisper. Joseph, what said John to thee?
JOHN! Sir, disdainfully repeated the good woman.
I beg pardon, Mrs. Smith: but you see the force of example. Had you showed your honest man more respect, I should. Let me give you a piece of advice--women who treat their husbands irreverently, teach strangers to use them with contempt. There, honest master John; why dost not pull off thy hat to me?--Oh! so thou wouldst, if thou hadst it on: but thou never wearest thy hat in thy wife"s presence, I believe; dost thou?
None of your fleers and your jeers, Sir, cried John. I wish every married pair lived as happily as we do.
I wish so too, honest friend. But I"ll be hanged if thou hast any children.
Why so, Sir?
Hast thou?--Answer me, man: Hast thou, or not?
Perhaps not, Sir. But what of that?
What of that?--Why I"ll tell thee: The man who has no children by his wife must put up with plain John. Hadst thou a child or two, thou"dst be called Mr. Smith, with a courtesy, or a smile at least, at every word.
You are very pleasant, Sir, replied my dame. I fancy, if either my husband or I had as much to answer for as I know whom, we should not be so merry.
Why then, dame Smith, so much the worse for those who were obliged to keep you company. But I am not merry--I am sad!--Hey-ho!--Where shall I find my dear Miss Harlowe?
My beloved Miss Harlowe! [calling at the foot of the third pair of stairs,] if you are above, for Heaven"s sake answer me. I am coming up.
Sir, said the good man, I wish you"d walk down. The servants" rooms, and the working-rooms, are up those stairs, and another pair; and n.o.body"s there that you want.
Shall I go up, and see if Miss Harlowe be there, Mrs. Smith?
You may, Sir, if you please.
Then I won"t; for, if she was, you would not be so obliging.
I am ashamed to give you all this attendance: you are the politest traders I ever knew. Honest Joseph, slapping him upon the shoulders on a sudden, which made him jump, didst ever grin for a wager, man?--for the rascal seemed not displeased with me; and, cracking his flat face from ear to ear, with a distended mouth, showed his teeth, as broad and as black as his thumb-nails.--But don"t I hinder thee? What canst earn a-day, man?
Half-a-crown I can earn a-day; with an air of pride and petulance, at being startled.
There then is a day"s wages for thee. But thou needest not attend me farther.
Come, Mrs. Smith, come John, (Master Smith I should say,) let"s walk down, and give me an account where the lady is gone, and when she will return.
So down stairs led I. John and Joseph (thought I had discharged the latter,) and my dame, following me, to show their complaisance to a stranger.
I re-entered one of the first-floor rooms. I have a great mind to be your lodger: for I never saw such obliging folks in my life. What rooms have you to let?
None at all, Sir.
I am sorry for that. But whose is this?
Mine, Sir, chuffily said John.
Thine, man! why then I will take it of thee. This, and a bed-chamber, and a garret for one servant, will content me. I will give thee thine own price, and half a guinea a day over, for those conveniencies.
For ten guineas a day, Sir--
Hold, John! (Master Smith I should say)--Before thou speakest, consider-- I won"t be affronted, man.
Sir, I wish you"d walk down, said the good woman. Really, Sir, you take--