LETTER XIII
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. [IN CONTINUATION.]
Never was there such a pair of scribbling lovers as we;--yet perhaps whom it so much concerns to keep from each other what each writes. She won"t have any thing else to do. I would, if she"d let me. I am not reformed enough for a husband.--Patience is a virtue, Lord M. says. Slow and sure, is another of his sentences. If I had not a great deal of that virtue, I should not have waited the Harlowes own time of ripening into execution my plots upon themselves and upon their G.o.ddess daughter.
My beloved has been writing to her saucy friend, I believe, all that has befallen her, and what has pa.s.sed between us. .h.i.therto. She will possibly have fine subjects for her pen, if she be as minute as I am.
I would not be so barbarous as to permit old Antony to set Mrs. Howe against her, did I not dread the consequences of the correspondence between the two young ladies. So lively the one, so vigilant, so prudent both, who would not wish to outwit such girls, and to be able to twirl them round his finger?
My charmer has written to her sister for her clothes, for some gold, and for some of her books. What books can tell her more than she knows? But I can. So she had better study me.
She may write. She must be obliged to me at last, with all her pride.
Miss Howe indeed will be ready enough to supply her; but I question, whether she can do it without her mother, who is as covetous as the grave. And my agent"s agent, old Antony, has already given the mother a hint which will make her jealous of pecuniaries.
Besides, if Miss Howe has money by her, I can put her mother upon borrowing it of her: nor blame me, Jack, for contrivances that have their foundation in generosity. Thou knowest my spirit; and that I should be proud to lay an obligation upon my charmer to the amount of half, nay, to the whole of my estate. Lord M. has more for me than I can ever wish for. My predominant pa.s.sion is girl, not gold; nor value I this, but as it helps me to that, and gives me independence.
I was forced to put it into the sweet novice"s head, as well for my sake as for hers (lest we should be traceable by her direction) whither to direct the sending of her clothes, if they incline to do her that small piece of justice.
If they do I shall begin to dread a reconciliation; and must be forced to muse for a contrivance or two to prevent it, and to avoid mischief.
For that (as I have told honest Joseph Leman) is a great point with me.
Thou wilt think me a sad fellow, I doubt. But are not all rakes sad fellows?--And art not thou, to thy little power, as bad as any? If thou dost all that"s in thy head and in thy heart to do, thou art worse than I; for I do not, I a.s.sure you.
I proposed, and she consented, that her clothes, or whatever else her relations should think fit to send her, should be directed to thy cousin Osgood"s. Let a special messenger, at my charge, bring me any letter, or portable parcel, that shall come. If not portable, give me notice of it.
But thou"lt have no trouble of this sort from her relations, I dare be sworn. And in this a.s.surance, I will leave them, I think, to act upon their own heads. A man would have no more to answer for than needs must.
But one thing, while I think of it; which is of great importance to be attended to--You must hereafter write to me in character, as I shall do to you. It would be a confounded thing to be blown up by a train of my own laying. And who knows what opportunities a man in love may have against himself? In changing a coat or waistcoat, something might be forgotten. I once suffered that way. Then for the s.e.x"s curiosity, it is but remembering, in order to guard against it, that the name of their common mother was Eve.
Another thing remember; I have changed my name: changed it without an act of parliament. "Robert Huntingford" it is now. Continue Esquire.
It is a respectable addition, although every sorry fellow a.s.sumes it, almost to the banishment of the usual traveling one of Captain. "To be left till called for, at the post-house at Hertford."
Upon naming thee, she asked thy character. I gave thee a better than thou deservest, in order to do credit to myself. Yet I told her, that thou wert an awkward fellow; and this to do credit to thee, that she may not, if ever she be to see thee, expect a cleverer man than she"ll find.
Yet thy apparent awkwardness befriends thee not a little: for wert thou a sightly mortal, people would discover nothing extraordinary in thee, when they conversed with thee: whereas, seeing a bear, they are surprised to find in thee any thing that is like a man. Felicitate thyself then upon thy defects; which are evidently thy princ.i.p.al perfections; and which occasion thee a distinction which otherwise thou wouldst never have.
The lodgings we are in at present are not convenient. I was so delicate as to find fault with them, as communicating with each other, because I knew she would; and told her, that were I sure she was safe from pursuit, I would leave her in them, (since such was her earnest desire and expectation,) and go to London.
She must be an infidel against all reason and appearances, if I do not banish even the shadow of mistrust from her heart.
Here are two young likely girls, daughters of the widow Sorlings; that"s the name of our landlady.
I have only, at present, admired them in their dairy-works. How greedily do the s.e.x swallow praise!--Did I not once, in the streets of London, see a well-dressed, handsome girl laugh, bridle, and visibly enjoy the praises of a sooty dog, a chimney-sweeper; who, with his empty sack across his shoulder, after giving her the way, stopt, and held up his brush and shovel in admiration of her?--Egad, girl, thought I, I despise thee as Lovelace: but were I the chimney-sweeper, and could only contrive to get into thy presence, my life to thy virtue, I would have thee.
So pleased was I with the young Sorlings, for the elegance of her works, that I kissed her, and she made me a courtesy for my condescension; and blushed, and seemed sensible all over: encouraging, yet innocently, she adjusted her handkerchief, and looked towards the door, as much as to say, she would not tell, were I to kiss her again.
Her eldest sister popt upon her. The conscious girl blushed again, and looked so confounded, that I made an excuse for her, which gratified both. Mrs. Betty, said I, I have been so much pleased with the neatness of your dairy-works, that I could not help saluting your sister: you have your share of merit in them, I am sure--Give me leave----
Good souls!--I like them both--she courtesied too!--How I love a grateful temper! O that my Clarissa were but half so acknowledging!
I think I must get one of them to attend my charmer when she removes--the mother seems to be a notable woman. She had not best, however, be too notable: since, were she by suspicion to give me a face of difficulty to the matter, it would prepare me for a trial with one or both the daughters.
Allow me a little rhodamantade, Jack--but really and truly my heart is fixed. I can think of no creature breathing of the s.e.x, but my Gloriana.
LETTER XIV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ. [IN CONTINUATION.]
This is Wednesday; the day that I was to have lost my charmer for ever to the hideous Solmes! With what high satisfaction and heart"s-ease can I now sit down, and triumph over my men in straw at Harlowe-place! Yet "tis perhaps best for them, that she got off as she did. Who knows what consequences might have followed upon my attending her in; or (if she had not met me) upon my projected visit, followed by my myrmidons?
But had I even gone in with her unaccompanied, I think I had but little reason for apprehension: for well thou knowest, that the tame spirits which value themselves upon reputation, and are held within the skirts of the law by political considerations only, may be compared to an infectious spider; which will run into his hole the moment one of his threads is touched by a finger that can crush him, leaving all his toils defenceless, and to be brushed down at the will of the potent invader.
While a silly fly, that has neither courage nor strength to resist, no sooner gives notice, by its buz and its struggles, of its being entangled, but out steps the self-circ.u.mscribed tyrant, winds round and round the poor insect, till he covers it with his bowel-spun toils; and when so fully secured, that it can neither move leg nor wing, suspends it, as if for a spectacle to be exulted over: then stalking to the door of his cell, turns about, glotes over it at a distance; and, sometimes advancing, sometimes retiring, preys at leisure upon its vitals.
But now I think of it, will not this comparison do as well for the entangled girls, as for the tame spirits?--Better o" my conscience!--"Tis but comparing the spider to us brave fellows, and it quadrates.
Whatever our hearts are in, our heads will follow. Begin with spiders, with flies, with what we will, girl is the centre of gravity, and we all naturally tend to it.
Nevertheless, to recur; I cannot but observe, that these tame spirits stand a poor chance in a fairly offensive war with such of us mad fellows as are above all law, and scorn to sculk behind the hypocritical screen of reputation.
Thou knowest that I never scruple to throw myself amongst numbers of adversaries; the more the safer: one or two, no fear, will take the part of a single adventurer, if not intentionally, in fact; holding him in, while others hold in the princ.i.p.al antagonist, to the augmentation of their mutual prowess, till both are prevailed upon to compromise, or one to be absent: so that, upon the whole, the law-breakers have the advantage of the law-keepers, all the world over; at least for a time, and till they have run to the end of their race. Add to this, in the question between me and the Harlowes, that the whole family of them must know that they have injured me--must therefore be afraid of me. Did they not, at their own church, cl.u.s.ter together like bees, when they saw me enter it? Nor knew they which should venture out first, when the service was over.
James, indeed, was not there. If he had, he would perhaps have endeavoured to look valiant. But there is a sort of valour in the face, which shews fear in the heart: just such a face would James Harlowe"s have been, had I made them a visit.
When I have had such a face and such a heart as I have described to deal with, I have been all calm and serene, and left it to the friends of the bl.u.s.terer (as I have done to the Harlowes) to do my work for me.
I am about mustering up in my memory, all that I have ever done, that has been thought praise-worthy, or but barely tolerable. I am afraid thou canst not help me to many remembrances of this sort; because I never was so bad as since I have known thee.
Have I not had it in my heart to do some good that thou canst not remind me of? Study for me, Jack. I have recollected some instances which I think will tell in--but see if thou canst not help me to some which I may have forgot.
This I may venture to say, that the princ.i.p.al blot in my escutcheon is owing to these girls, these confounded girls. But for them, I could go to church with a good conscience: but when I do, there they are. Every where does Satan spread his snares for me! But, how I think of it, what if our governor should appoint churches for the women only, and others for the men?--Full as proper, I think, for the promoting of true piety in both, [much better than the synagogue-lattices,] as separate boarding-schools for their education.
There are already male and female dedications of churches.
St. Swithin"s, St. Stephen"s, St. Thomas"s, St. George"s, and so forth, might be appropriated to the men; and Santa Catharina"s, Santa Anna"s, Santa Maria"s, Santa Margaretta"s, for the women.
Yet were it so, and life to be the forfeiture of being found at the female churches, I believe that I, like a second Clodius, should change my dress, to come at my Portia or Pompeia, though one the daughter of a Cato, the other the wife of a Caesar.
But how I excurse!--Yet thou usedst to say, thou likedst my excursions.
If thou dost, thou"lt have enow of them: for I never had a subject I so much adored; and with which I shall probably be compelled to have so much patience before I strike the blow; if the blow I do strike.
But let me call myself back to my recordation-subject--Thou needest not remind me of my Rosebud. I have her in my head; and moreover have contrived to give my fair-one an hint of that affair, by the agency of honest Joseph Leman;* although I have not reaped the hoped-for credit of her acknowledgement.