""Since you have made up your mind," he said, "I have no option but to bow to your wishes." But I could see that his lips were drawn as if his heart ached at having to lose me. I must have meant so much to him all this time. Poor Robert!"
"Of course, I gave him back his money," she went on, when her emotion had subsided. "He took that with the same indifference. He said he could quite appreciate my feeling about it and he would not oppose my wishes on the point."
As regards his family and friends, Morgan made up his mind to write to his father, to Lady Thiselton, and to Mrs. Medhurst, simply announcing the mere fact that he had married. He would not give any particulars nor say a word as to the personality of Cleo. The rest of his acquaintances he would simply ignore.
CHAPTER VII.
However, on the day before his marriage, Morgan happened to come across Mrs. Medhurst"s dance card amid a heap of papers he was about to destroy, and somewhat to his surprise found it was for that very evening. He had accepted the invitation verbally, when talking to Mrs.
Medhurst at the studio-warming. And now a strange notion seemed to come whizzing at him and he arrested it with a clutch.
Why should he not go and dance with Margaret for the last time?
In a moment his mind was made up. And shortly after ten o"clock he found himself being received by Mrs. Medhurst. A half-dizziness came over him as he shook hands with her--the festal atmosphere that pervaded the rooms seemed to blur his senses. He would have stumbled had it not been that Margaret"s voice fell upon his ear just then, and he became aware that her hand was in his. He saw her, as she stood at her mother"s side, a clear and gracious figure against the mist of things.
She was in white to-night with just a lily in her hair, and it showed graciously in a dainty setting of green. An adorable tiny edge of arm peeped between sleeve and glove. Morgan thought of the lines Helen had whispered to him at the Whitechapel Coffee House:
"The Blessed Damozel leaned out From the gold bar of Heaven; Her eyes were deeper than the depth Of waters stilled at even."
He wrote his name on her programme. He was feeling timid and self-distrustful, and having taken a dance near the beginning he hesitated perceptibly before taking another lower down. She thanked him gravely as he returned her the card and he thought he detected a half-sorrowful expression in her face. No doubt she had been quick to observe the constraint of his manner, and he felt she must be suspecting something.
He was glad that the arriving guests were claiming her attention, and he moved away and mingled with the crowd. But he was indifferent to the scene, to the music and dancing, to all but Margaret. He could not turn his eyes away from her. He took note of every man that asked a dance of her. One of them kept writing on her programme for what seemed to Morgan an unbearable time, Margaret looking on with a tolerant half-smile. He knew the fellow well and hated him. Fledgling at one or other of the learned professions, always aggressively smooth and well-bred, a veritable paragon of polish without a single redeeming mannerism, to Morgan he represented one large swagger. There was something in the pose of the eye-gla.s.ses and in the clean-shaven upper lip that told of boundless conceit and infinite self-a.s.surance.
What right had he, was Morgan"s indignant thought--and he made the criticism as of a mere external fact from which he stood aloof--to be so friendly with Margaret? How was it that she should show such little insight as to be imposed upon by so specious a personality? No doubt she thought him perfectly charming!
He was very angry and bitter, and already half-repented the impulse that had driven him here. If the experience, in all its emotional bearings, was a unique one, it was likewise a disagreeable one. When the time came round for him to dance with Margaret he tried hard to appear perfectly at his ease, and to make a show of good spirits.
Exercising the privilege of an old friend, he began to tease her about the rapidity with which her programme had got filled.
"A girl must flirt a little," she a.s.serted calmly, after a short pa.s.sage-at-arms. "You"re not jealous, Morgan, are you?"
"I am only observant," he answered evasively.
"Your gift of observation must be truly wonderful--you manage to exercise it at so great a distance, or perhaps you send out your astral body to do the observing, which must be the reason why it"s invisible to me."
"I dare not speak at all. You turn my every word into a scourge against me."
"Don"t you feel you deserve the scourging?"
"I have had another melancholy fit," he urged, forced to defend himself.
"Poor Morgan!" she said, pityingly. "I do believe you have some trouble that you are keeping to yourself. Do you know, I"ve been thinking so for some time now. You don"t trust your friends sufficiently. Come now, isn"t my surmise near the truth?"
The tears almost welled up to his eyes. He did not answer her, for he could not speak at all; but his silence was tantamount to an admission.
"Poor Morgan!" she repeated softly, as if to herself, and the sympathy in her voice troubled him still more. "And the trouble? Of course, you are going to tell me first."
"Well, not to-night," he answered, closing his heart against her with a superhuman effort. "I must not spoil your evening."
"Do you think I shall enjoy it, now that I know?"
"Why should you not?" he asked, and there was a shade of rebuff in his tone. A half-savage impulse was urging him to pick a sort of quarrel with her.
"You are unkind," she exclaimed in distress. "Is my friendship nothing to you? Perhaps I am wrong to show you that I care about yours. I ought not to have let you see I was so concerned about your trouble, but I could not know that was going to vex you."
He did not answer, because her words disarmed him.
"Forgive me, Morgan," she went on gently. "Of course, you are irritable and all unstrung, and I ought to be very much more patient instead of flying at you. It would be wicked for us two to quarrel, but I really do want you to be nice to me."
She was led away just then, and he felt glad to be relieved of the responsibility of carrying on the conversation.
Dance after dance went by. It hurt him to see that eye-gla.s.sed plausible young man dancing with Margaret. His mood grew hateful. The hours at length became unendurable. He slipped away quietly and went home.
But all through the evening he had been conscious in the back part of his mind of the new life he had embarked upon. And even whilst he held the sweet lily in his arms, his very love for her bringing him anguish and bitterness, he was yet aware of scenes that sought to obtrude--scenes in which figured the wonderful woman with whom he had thrown in his lot, in which she stood in the glare of the footlights with a dense packed theatre applauding to madness; scenes not outlined clear and projected in s.p.a.ce, but which were to him shapeless silhouettes and dazzling formless patches of light flitting across the extreme background of his consciousness.
About mid-day Morgan Druce and Selina Mary Kettering were united in holy matrimony. She had given her true name for the occasion, but Morgan, intent on signing his own, scarcely noticed hers. She was Cleo to him, and Cleo she would remain. It was not till about an hour later, when they were lunching at a West End restaurant, that his mind began to play about the fact that he really was married now. Yet it seemed incredible. For him marriage had always connoted something large and elaborate, a substantial experience with which were involved complicated preliminaries, a process so transforming that one almost expected one"s very chemical composition to be changed by it.
But all had been so astonishingly simple. The whole morning had been singularly like other mornings. The visit to the registrar"s office had been short and unimpressive. His bone and tissue were perfectly unaffected by it. Cleo and he had lunched here before. How then was his relation to her so different from what it had been?
He argued with himself. He told himself he _was_ married, but he refused to believe it. With all his knowledge and certainty of the fact, he failed to convince himself. And yet that certainty set him speculating as to what his father and mother would say when they read the curt announcement he intended dispatching that afternoon. He wondered what Helen would think, what Margaret. The fragrance and beauty of the lily seemed suddenly to invade his spirit. He had a sense of sweetness and light, followed by a reaction of pain. Perhaps Margaret would be crushed by the news; perhaps--and he could not help the thought, grotesque though it was--she would marry that smooth, eye-gla.s.sed young man.
There was a strange ringing in his ears; he was conscious of his whole being soaring far away, a floating, palpitating spirit amid great s.p.a.ces of mystery and dream. A universal music was swelling around him, a mighty concerto bursting full upon him from the stillness of infinite distances--the sobbing of violins, the blare of brazen instruments, an orchestral clash and clang.
"You may smoke," said Cleo.
With a start he found himself amid the garish mirrors of the gilded restaurant.
END OF BOOK II.
BOOK III.
CHAPTER I.
Had the transition from bachelorhood to the married state been less easy and less quickly achieved, Morgan might perhaps have realised that the pattern of life he was weaving had not the same undetachedness from the real as a pattern woven in dream, but that it was a part and parcel of the real. As it was, he was not the man to stop and think, once he had made his plunge into the strange, vague future that had appealed to him. And now this theatrical enterprise, with Cleo as the star, loomed ahead of him not only as the redemption of his empty life, but wrapped in that seductive romance which his mood and temperament demanded.
For the present, they had taken furnished rooms in Bloomsbury, where they lived under an a.s.sumed name. Morgan did not leave his new address at his old quarters, for he did not want any letters to follow him, no matter from whom they came. He felt he had done all he could in writing the three letters he had decided to write. And with the sending of those letters, he seemed to be detaching himself from his old life with one clean cut; his imagination left free to construct the tableaux of what he believed--such was the impression Cleo"s personality had made on him--was going to be a gorgeous panoramic future, a triumphant historic march through the civilised world. The fact that Cleo now went about clothed like any other mortal did not detract from his estimate of her genius, for the mere dispensation with such extraneous splendour left untouched the splendour of the woman herself.
And, from this mere moving from one London street to another, he had all the feeling of having placed a thousand miles between himself and everybody who knew him. In the theatrical enterprise he was to figure under his present a.s.sumed name, though that was only likely to come within the public cognizance as the name borne by Cleo"s husband, a personage none of his friends would think of a.s.sociating with himself.