"But-" She gazed up at him. The hood slid from his head; his gray-streaked hair hung loose to his shoulders, and the sheen of rain on his sharp cheekbones made him look carved from oiled wood. "What if somebody comes?"
"A very nice docent named Mrs. Eleanor Feltwell is out there, even as we speak, in the unlikely event that we have a single visitor."
He stooped so that his head was beside hers, scowling as he stared at the computer screen.
A lock of his hair fell to brush against her neck.
Beneath the wig her scalp burned, as though stung by tiny ants; she breathed in the warm acrid smell of his sweat and something else, a sharper scent, like crushed oak-mast or fresh-sawn wood. Above her brows the antennae suddenly quivered. Sweetness coated her tongue like burnt syrup. With a rush of panic she turned her head so he wouldn"t see her face.
"I-I should finish this-"
"Oh, just f.u.c.k it, Jane! It"s not like we"re paying you. Come on, now, there"s a good girl-"
He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, Janie still looking away. The bangs of hercheap wig sc.r.a.ped her forehead, and she batted at them feebly. "Get your things. What, don"t you ever take days off in the States?"
"All right, all right." She turned and gathered her black vinyl raincoat and knapsack, pulled on the coat, and waited for him by the door. "Jeez, you must be hungry," she said crossly.
"No. Just f.u.c.king bored out of my skull. Have you been to Ruby in the Dust? No? I"ll take you then, let"s go-"
The restaurant was down the High Street, a small, cheerfully claptrap place, dim in the gray afternoon, its small wooden tables scattered with abandoned newspapers and overflowing ashtrays. David Bierce ordered a steak and a pint. Janie had a small salad, nasturtium blossoms strewn across pale green lettuce, and a gla.s.s of red wine. She lacked an appet.i.te lately, living on vitamin-enhanced, fruity bottled drinks from the health food store and baklava from a Greek bakery near the tube station.
"So." David Bierce stabbed a piece of steak, peering at her sideways. "Don"t tell me you really haven"t been here before."
"I haven"t!" Despite her unease at being with him, she laughed, and caught her reflection in the wall-length mirror. A thin plain young woman in shapeless Peruvian sweater and jeans, bad haircut, and ugly gla.s.ses. Gazing at herself she felt suddenly stronger, invisible. She tilted her head and smiled at Bierce. "The food"s good."
"So you don"t have someone taking you out to dinner every night? Cooking for you? I thought you American girls all had adoring men at your feet. Adoring slaves," he added dryly. "Or slave girls, I suppose. If that"s your thing."
"No." She stared at her salad, shook her head demurely, and took a sip of wine. It made her feel even more invulnerable. "No, I-"
"Boyfriend back home, right?" He finished his pint, flagged the waiter to order another, and turned back to Janie. "Well, that"s nice. That"s very nice-for him," he added, and gave a short harsh laugh.
The waiter brought another pint, and more wine for Janie. "Oh really, I better-"
"Just drink it, Jane." Under the table, she felt a sharp pressure on her foot. She wasn"t wearing her Doc Martens today but a pair of red plastic jellies. David Bierce had planted his heel firmly atop her toes; she sucked in her breath in shock and pain, the bones of her foot crackling as she tried to pull it from beneath him. Her antennae rippled, then stiffened, and heat burst like a seed inside her.
"Go ahead," he said softly, pushing the winegla.s.s toward her. "Just a sip, that"s right-"
She grabbed the gla.s.s, spilling wine on her sweater as she gulped at it. The vicious pressure on her foot subsided, but as the wine ran down her throat she could feel the heat thrusting her into the air, currents rushing beneath her as the girl at the table below set down her winegla.s.s with trembling fingers.
"There." David Bierce smiled, leaning forward to gently cup her hand between his. "Now this is better than working. Right, Jane?"
He walked her home along the ca.n.a.l path. Janie tried to dissuade him, but he"d had a third pint by then; it didn"t seem to make him drunk but coldly obdurate, and she finally gave in. The rain had turned to a fine drizzle, the ca.n.a.l"s usually murky water silvered and softly gleaming in the twilight. They pa.s.sed few other people, and Janie found herself wishing someone elsewould appear, so that she"d have an excuse to move closer to David Bierce. He kept close to the ca.n.a.l itself, several feet from Janie; when the breeze lifted she could catch his oaky scent again, rising above the dank reek of stagnant water and decaying hawthorn blossom.
They crossed over the bridge to approach her flat by the street. At the front sidewalk Janie stopped, smiled shyly, and said, "Thanks. That was nice."
David nodded. "Glad I finally got you out of your cage." He lifted his head to gaze appraisingly at the row house. "Christ, this where you"re staying? You split the rent with someone?"
"No." She hesitated: she couldn"t remember what she had told him about her living arrangements. But before she could blurt something out he stepped past her to the front door, peeking into the window and bobbing impatiently up and down.
"Mind if I have a look? Professional entomologists don"t often get the chance to see how the quality live."
Janie hesitated, her stomach clenching; decided it would be safer to have him in rather than continue to put him off.
"All right," she said reluctantly, and opened the door.
"Mmmm. Nice, nice, very nice." He swept around the living room, spinning on his heel and making a show of admiring the elaborate molding, the tribal rugs, the fireplace mantel with its thick ecclesiastical candles and ormolu mirror. "Goodness, all this for a wee thing like you?
You"re a clever cat, landing on your feet here, Lady Jane."
She blushed. He bounded past her on his way into the bedroom, touching her shoulder; she had to close her eyes as a fiery wave surged through her and her antennae trembled.
"Wow," he exclaimed.
Slowly she followed him into the bedroom. He stood in front of the wall where her specimens were balanced in a neat line across the wainscoting. His eyes were wide, his mouth open in genuine astonishment.
"Are these yours?" he marveled, his gaze fixed on the b.u.t.terflies. "You didn"t actually catch them-?"
She shrugged.
"These are incredible!" He picked up the Graphium agamemnon and tilted it to the pewter-colored light falling through the French doors. "Did you mount them, too?"
She nodded, crossing to stand beside him. "Yeah. You can tell, with that one-" She pointed at the Urania leilus in its oak-framed box. "It got rained on."
David Bierce replaced the Graphium agamemnon and began to read the labels on the others.
Papilio demetrius UNITED KINGDOM: LONDON.
Highbury Fields, Islington 7.V2001.
J. Kendall Isopa katinka UNITED KINGDOM: LONDONFinsbury Park 09.V2001.
J. Kendall Argema mittrei UNITED KINGDOM: LONDON.
Camden Town 13.IV2001.
J. Kendall He shook his head. "You screwed up, though-you wrote London for all of them." He turned to her, grinning wryly. "Can"t think of the last time I saw a moon moth in Camden Town."
She forced a laugh. "Oh-right."
"And, I mean, you can"t have actually caught them-"
He held up the Isopa katinka, a b.u.t.ter-yellow Emperor moth, its peac.o.c.k"s-eyes russet and jet-black. "I haven"t seen any of these around lately. Not even in Finsbury."
Janie made a little grimace of apology. "Yeah. I meant, that"s where I found them-where I bought them."
"Mmmm." He set the moth back on its ledge. "You"ll have to share your sources with me.
I can never find things like these in North London."
He turned and headed out of the bedroom. Janie hurriedly straightened the specimens, her hands shaking now as well, and followed him.
"Well, Lady Jane." For the first time he looked at her without his usual mocking arrogance, his green-flecked eyes bemused, almost regretful. "I think we managed to salvage something from the day."
He turned, gazing one last time at the flat"s glazed walls and highly waxed floors, the imported cabinetry and jewel-toned carpets. "I was going to say, when I walked you home, that you needed someone to take care of you. But it looks like you"ve managed that on your own."
Janie stared at her feet. He took a step toward her, the fragrance of oak-mast and honey filling her nostrils, crushed acorns, new fern. She grew dizzy, her hand lifting to find him; but he only reached to graze her cheek with his finger.
"Night then, Janie," he said softly, and walked back out into the misty evening.
When he was gone she raced to the windows and pulled all the velvet curtains, then tore the wig from her head and threw it onto the couch along with her gla.s.ses. Her heart was pounding, her face slick with sweat-from fear or rage or disappointment, she didn"t know. She yanked off her sweater and jeans, left them on the living room floor and stomped into the bathroom. She stood in the shower for twenty minutes, head upturned as the water sluiced the smells of bracken and leaf-mold from her skin.
Finally she got out. She dried herself, let the towel drop, and went into the kitchen. Abruptly she was famished. She tore open cupboards and drawers until she found a half-full jar of lavender honey from Provence. She opened it, the top spinning off into the sink, and frantically spooned honey into her mouth with her fingers. When she was finished she grabbed a jar oflemon curd and ate most of that, until she felt as though she might be sick. She stuck her head into the sink, letting water run from the faucet into her mouth, and at last walked, surfeited, into the bedroom.
She dressed, feeling warm and drowsy, almost dreamlike; pulling on red-and-yellow-striped stockings, her nylon skirt, a tight red T-shirt. No bra, no panties. She put in her contacts, then examined herself in the mirror. Her hair had begun to grow back, a scant velvety stubble, bluish in the dim light. She drew a sweeping black line across each eyelid, on a whim took the liner and extended the curve of each antenna until they touched her temples. She painted her lips black as well and went to find her black vinyl raincoat.
It was early when she went out, far too early for any of the clubs to be open. The rain had stopped, but a thick greasy fog hung over everything, coating windshields and shop windows, making Janie"s face feel as though it were encased in a clammy sh.e.l.l. For hours she wandered Camden Town, huge violet eyes turning to stare back at the men who watched her, dismissing each of them. Once she thought she saw David Bierce, coming out of Ruby in the Dust; but when she stopped to watch him cross the street saw it was not David at all but someone else.
Much younger, his long dark hair in a thick braid, his feet clad in knee-high boots. He crossed High Street, heading toward the tube station. Janie hesitated, then darted after him.
He went to the Electric Ballroom. Fifteen or so people stood out front, talking quietly. The man she"d followed joined the line, standing by himself. Janie waited across the street, until the door opened and the little crowd began to shuffle inside. After the long-haired young man had entered she counted to one hundred, crossed the street, paid her cover, and went inside.
The club had three levels; she finally tracked him down on the uppermost one. Even on a rainy Wednesday night it was crowded, the sound system blaring Idris Mohammed and Jimmy Cliff. He was standing alone near the bar, drinking bottled water.
"Hi!" she shouted, swaying up to him with her best First Day of School Smile. "Want to dance?"
He was older than she"d thought-thirtyish, still not as old as Bierce. He stared at her, puzzled, and then shrugged. "Sure."
They danced, pa.s.sing the water bottle between them. "What"s your name?" he shouted.
"Cleopatra Brimstone."
"You"re kidding!" he yelled back. The song ended in a bleat of feedback, and they walked, panting, back to the bar.
"What, you know another Cleopatra?" Janie asked teasingly.
"No. It"s just a crazy name, that"s all." He smiled. He was handsomer than David Bierce, his features softer, more rounded, his eyes dark brown, his manner a bit reticent. "I"m Thomas Raybourne. Tom."
He bought another bottle of Pellegrino and one for Janie. She drank it quickly, trying to get his measure. When she finished she set the empty bottle on the floor and fanned herself with her hand.
"It"s hot in here." Her throat hurt from shouting over the music. "I think I"m going to take a walk. Feel like coming?"
He hesitated, glancing around the club. "I was supposed to meet a friend here. ..." he began, frowning. "But-"
"Oh." Disappointment filled her, spiking into desperation. "Well, that"s okay. I guess.""Oh, what the h.e.l.l." He smiled: he had nice eyes, a more stolid, rea.s.suring gaze than Bierce.
"I can always come back."
Outside she turned right, in the direction of the ca.n.a.l. "I live pretty close by. Feel like coming in for a drink?"
He shrugged again. "I don"t drink, actually."
"Something to eat then? It"s not far-just along the ca.n.a.l path a few blocks past Camden Lock-"
"Yeah, sure."
They made desultory conversation. "You should be careful," he said as they crossed the bridge. "Did you read about those people who"ve gone missing in Camden Town?"
Janie nodded but said nothing. She felt anxious and clumsy-as though she"d drunk too much, although she"d had nothing alcoholic since the two gla.s.ses of wine with David Bierce. Her companion also seemed ill at ease; he kept glancing back, as though looking for someone on the ca.n.a.l path behind them.
"I should have tried to call," he explained ruefully. "But I forgot to recharge my mobile."
"You could call from my place."
"No, that"s all right."
She could tell from his tone that he was figuring how he could leave, gracefully, as soon as possible.
Inside the flat he settled on the couch, picked up a copy of Time Out and flipped through it, pretending to read. Janie went immediately into the kitchen and poured herself a gla.s.s of brandy. She downed it, poured a second one, and joined him on the couch.
"So." She kicked off her Doc Martens, drew her stockinged foot slowly up his leg, from calf to thigh. "Where you from?"
He was pa.s.sive, so pa.s.sive she wondered if he would get aroused at all. But after a while they were lying on the couch, both their shirts on the floor, his pants unzipped and his c.o.c.k stiff, pressing against her bare belly.
"Let"s go in there," Janie whispered hoa.r.s.ely. She took his hand and led him into the bedroom.
She only bothered lighting a single candle before lying beside him on the bed. His eyes were half-closed, his breathing shallow. When she ran a fingernail around one nipple he made a small surprised sound, then quickly turned and pinned her to the bed.
"Wait! Slow down," Janie said, and wriggled from beneath him. For the last week she"d left the bonds attached to the bedposts, hiding them beneath the covers when not in use. Now she grabbed one of the wrist-cuffs and pulled it free. Before he could see what she was doing it was around his wrist.
"Hey!"
She dived for the foot of the bed, his leg narrowly missing her as it thrashed against the covers. It was more difficult to get this in place, but she made a great show of giggling and stroking his thigh, which seemed to calm him. The other leg was next, and finally she leapt from the bed and darted to the headboard, slipping from his grasp when he tried to grab her shoulder.
"This is not consensual," he said. She couldn"t tell if he was serious or not.
"What about this, then?" she murmured, sliding down between his legs and cupping his erectp.e.n.i.s between her hands. "This seems to be enjoying itself."
He groaned softly, shutting his eyes. "Try to get away," she said. "Try to get away."
He tried to lunge upward, his body arcing so violently that she drew back in alarm. The bonds held; he arched again, and again, but now she remained beside him, her hands on his c.o.c.k, his breath coming faster and faster and her own breath keeping pace with it, her heart pounding and the tingling above her eyes almost unbearable.
"Try to get away," she gasped. "Try to get away-"
When he came he cried out, his voice harsh, as though in pain, and Janie cried out as well, squeezing her eyes shut as spasms shook her from head to groin. Quickly her head dipped to kiss his chest; then she shuddered and drew back, watching.
His voice rose again, ended suddenly in a shrill wail, as his limbs knotted and shriveled like burning rope. She had a final glimpse of him, a homunculus sprouting too many legs. Then on the bed before her a perfectly formed Papilio krishna swallowtail crawled across the rumpled duvet, its wings twitching to display glittering green scales amidst spectral washes of violet and crimson and gold.
"Oh, you"re beautiful, beautiful," she whispered.