"Well-no, of course not, but-Obi-Wan, n.o.body eats raw gundark. "
"Nor twice, at any rate, " said Obi-Wan, sardonic. "And it wasn"t by choice the first time, I promise you. " He laughed outright, the memory easing the shadowed tension in his face-but then he started coughing. Even after drinking his water ration, it was a long time before he stopped.
Anakin offered his own water, but the cup was waved away. "Look, " he said, after a moment. "You can"t keep on like this, Obi-Wan.
What you"re doing? Spending hours helping Devi at the power plant and then more hours in the sick house? Even with that little girl helping, it"s killing you. "
"I do what I must, " said Obi-Wan, and forced down another mouthful of food. "These people are sick and I can help them and that"s the end of it. "
"No, it isn"t, " he retorted. "Obi-Wan, why are you..." And then he realized. Stang. "This isn"t your fault. It"s mine. I pushed to stay in Torbel. I made promises I couldn"t keep. You have to stop punishing yourself for my decisions. "
"Punishing myself, " Obi-Wan muttered, looking away. "What nonsense, Anakin. "
He put his almost-emptied plate to one side on the step. "Then what is going on? You"re the one who"s always telling me to slow down, be sensible, conserve my strength for the long haul in a mission. And look at you. Your hands are shaking. Your pulse is racing.
I"m not a healer and I can feel your headache!"
Obi-Wan turned on him. "Are you saying I should let these people die simply to spare myself some trifling discomfort? I am a Jedi. I have the power to help them and so I must help them. I cannot-I will not-stand by and watch them suffer. I won"t prove our critics right!"
"Critics?" Anakin said, baffled. "What critics? What are you talking about?"
For a long time Obi-Wan sat in silence. The boom boom blat of the droids" bombardment continued. Permanently tuned to the vagaries of the vulnerable shield, Anakin listened for a change in its subliminal hum, a sign that one or more of the generators was struggling.
But no, his frantic patchwork repairs still held. And they would keep on holding. They had to.
At last Obi-Wan sighed, and put down his own plate. "It"s something Bail said once. On the way to Zigoola. He was angry because I"d been so perfectly healed after that terrorist blast, when others who were injured languished in medcenters, many of them maimed. He wanted to know why the Jedi healed themselves first and left others to linger. "
"So this is Organa"s fault?" he said, incredulous. "Obi-Wan, come on. Don"t fall for that. He didn"t even know you then. He didn"t know anything about the Jedi. He still doesn"t, not really. And now you"re going to..."
129.
Obi-Wan lightly slapped his knee. "Peace, Anakin. He had a point. This war has taught me that we Jedi have allowed ourselves to become too detached. Too distant from the Republic we"re sworn to serve. Look at how suspicious these people of Torbel were of us.
And still are. You"ve said it yourself, more than once. We"ve lost the common touch. "
"Yeah, well, it can stay lost if it means you don"t try to kill yourself healing people, " he retorted. "And I"m telling you, it has to stop.
Tonight. Because we both know you can"t take any more. "
"Anakin..." Obi-Wan shook his head. "I will take as much as I need to take. I have to, if for no other reason than to get your ally Rikkard back on his feet. "
There was the merest hint of acid in that remark. Anakin rubbed his hands over his face, feeling the thickened stubble, the dried sweat, the gritty dirt. With his eyes covered, the bombardment"s boom boom blat sounded louder than ever. And even with them covered he could still see the bright flashes of plasma impacting the shield.
This is my doing. I"ve been wrong every step of the way. And now it"s too late to make up for any of it.
"So, " he said, when he could trust his voice. "I guess you were right after all. I guess I am dangerous. "
"Dangerous?" said Obi-Wan blankly. "What are you talking about?"
"You don"t remember?" He shrugged. "Well. It was a long time ago. "
Coruscant at night, awash with brilliant color. A landing platform crowded with the Queen of Naboo"s starship, busy with staff and droids, humming with tension. Young and alone, he was missing his mother so badly, was so angry because the Jedi Council had smashed his dreams to dust. His only hope was Qui-Gon, tall and strong and somehow elemental-a shield and a shelter and a newfound friend. Not like Obi-Wan. He"d been young, then. Impatient, sharp-tongued, and just as angry- because Qui-Gon had said he wanted to train one small, strange boy.
"The boy is dangerous. They all sense it. Why can"t you?"
Anakin shivered, remembering. And then the puzzlement in Obi-Wan"s face faded, replaced with a dawning realization as he remembered too. "Oh, " he said. "Oh, Anakin... "
There was shame in Obi-Wan"s voice. Regret. And shock, to think his fleeting anger, his thoughtless words, could have left such an indelible impression.
But they did, Master Ken.o.bi. They really did. And now I can"t help wondering... were you right, after all?
"Anakin, " said Obi-Wan intently. "Listen to me. I was wrong. In that moment I was hurt, I was angry. " He swallowed. "Anakin, I was jealous. "
Some part of him had always known that. Even as a child, abandoned to the care of an astromech droid on that landing platform, he"d felt those hot, roiling emotions in Qui-Gon"s quicksilver apprentice. Even when he"d been too young to understand everything, he"d always understood how other people were feeling. That was just another part of being a Jedi. The Chosen One. The boy who grew up as something more than a boy.
And now, years later, stranded on a planet staring death-or worse-in the face, that boy was a man and the quicksilver apprentice was the man"s former Master. His friend. His brother. His comrade-in-arms.
Strange times.
Anakin shook his head. "Forget it. I never should"ve brought it up. "
"But you did bring it up, " said Obi-Wan. "Anakin, you are not dangerous and you are not responsible for the trouble we"re in now. If there"s a finger to be pointed, let it be pointed at me. I"m older than you, I"m more experienced, and at any given moment I could"ve pulled the plug on this mission. But I didn"t. "
Anakin. you are not dangerous. It warmed him, to hear the words, to hear the sincerity in Obi-Wan"s tired voice, and see it in his tired face.
Rut if be knew about Tatooine, and what really happened with my mother. About Padme. About how I feel sometimes when the Force turns scarlet and bursts through me like hot blood. If be knew all that, what would he say?
130.
He didn"t know. He never wanted to find out.
Burying those thoughts before Obi-Wan could sense them, he cleared his throat. "So why didn"t you pull the plug?"
"Because I wanted you to be right, " Obi-Wan said after a long silence. "I wanted to give you the chance to prove me wrong, for once.
" He ran a hand down his face. "We call you the Chosen One but we don"t often give you the chance to prove it, do we?"
"Yeah, well... " He had to clear his throat, and blink hard to unblur his vision. "I haven"t exactly proven it this time. "
Blat... blat... boom... blat... boom... boom... boom... and the night sky beyond the fragile shield burned like a dying sun.
"Oh, I don"t know, " said Obi-Wan, very gently. "We"re not dead yet, Anakin. And that means..."
The Force"s spurring was blunted, but they both felt it. Something was wrong. Something was- "There!" said Obi-Wan, pointing across the square. His hand was unsteady. "What shield sector is that? Four? Five?"
Anakin squinted through the shadows. "Four. Stang. I thought I"d fixed it. I thought..."
"Never mind what you thought, " said Obi-Wan, pushing to his feet. "Come on. There"s not much time. "
None of the villagers had noticed the tiny flutter in the shield that meant its particle beam was losing integrity. And Durd"s droids hadn"t noticed, either; they were still merrily blasting away. But they would see it, any moment now, and then they"d bring all their blasterfire to bear on that one vulnerable section.
It didn"t matter that running hurt, that they were gasping as much as breathing. Matching Obi-Wan stride for stride, Anakin heard his comlink crackle and dragged it out of his pocket.
"Anakin! Generator Four, it"s..."
"I know, Devi!" he said, stumbling in the dark and the dirt, pounding the pitted ferrocrete as he and Obi-Wan raced down the road.
"We"re on it. Nurse the power feed to that generator. Whatever you do, don"t let it surge!"
"I"ll try, " she said, her voice frightened. "Anakin, hurry. It"ll go offline any minute!"
Every footstep drove a spear of pain through his spine. He felt his own pain, he felt Obi-Wan"s. It couldn"t matter. They had no hope of Force-sprinting, all they could do was run. So they ran, panting and desperate.
Reaching the generator, they staggered to a halt and clutched at each other to stop themselves from falling. To save time in an emergency, every shield generator had its own hastily rigged tool kit. While Anakin wrenched open the shield"s housing, Obi-Wan opened the kit and upended it onto the gra.s.s.
Overhead, the faltering section of shield began to hum a discordant tune, loud enough for the nearest droids to hear it.
"Oh, slang, " Anakin said, the air rasping raw in his throat. "Stay back, you barves. There"s nothing to see here. "
Too late. Programmed with their holoimages, with orders to capture, not kill, the droids had seen their quarry and the sparking agitation in the shield.
He stared at Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan stared back.
"Master, do you trust me?"
Speechless, Obi-Wan nodded.
"Then do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you, no questions. On three. One-two-three..."
There was no time for explanations. There was barely time to breathe. Plunged into that otherplace where a machine was a living thing and it spoke to him in whispers, Anakin sank himself into the generator"s mechanical heart and let it tell him what was wrong. What to do. Faster than thought, faster than feeling, fueled by the Force, he surrendered himself and became one with the machine. He felt his lips move, barking orders that Obi-Wan immediately obeyed, but he couldn"t hear what he was saying. He couldn"t see what he was doing. He was somebody- something-else. A fusion of man and machine.
131.
On the other side of the faltering shield Durd"s droids were tiring without pause. He could feel the blooming plasma like lava in his veins, scalding him and scorching him and melting his bones. It didn"t matter. He wasn"t flesh anymore, so he couldn"t burn.
A shower of sparks. A surge of power. A shuddering in the Force. And then the generator stopped flickering and the storm shield firmed.
Thwarted, Durd"s droids lowered their blasters.
Someone was sobbing. After a moment, Anakin realized Oh. That"s me. And then his knees were buckling and he was heading for the ground.
Obi-Wan caught him. "It"s all right. I"ve got you. "
He let Obi-Wan take his full weight because he was too tired not to. Everything hurt, even his stub of an arm.
And then he cried out, and Obi-Wan cried out, because between labored heartbeats they felt a fresh surge through the Force.
There were Jedi high above them. Help had come, at last.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Standing on Indomitable"s bridge, Mace Windu spat a string of curses, not one in a language Ahsoka could recognize or understand.
But that didn"t matter-their meaning was perfectly clear. And if she"d been alone, or belowdecks with Rex and the others, and could still see what she was seeing, well...
I"d be cursing, too.
Lanteeb was blockaded, the entire planet belted by Separatist warships. And the buckle on that belt? General Grievous"s ma.s.sive cruiser.
Admiral Yularen, hands clasped behind his back, frowned through his bridge"s transparisteel viewport. "Well. I certainly wasn"t expecting that. "
"No, " said Master Windu, his voice very tight. "Neither was I. "
Yularen"s stare slid sideways. "They knew we were coming. Which means..."
"I know what it means, " said Master Windu. "I need a priority scrambled channel back to the Jedi Temple. "
"Lieutenant Avrey, " said the admiral, over his shoulder. "You heard Master Windu. "
"Coming right up, sir, " she replied.
Tearing her gaze from the gut-punching sight of all those Sep warships just sitting there, waiting for them, Ahsoka looked around the bridge. This was such a fine crew-not one of their faces betrayed an inappropriate emotion. But she could feel their frustration and their alarm, shrill in the Force.
And who can blame them? We"ve got four ships in this battle group and we"re looking at more than twenty-five against us.
She turned back to the viewport and tried to see past the blockade to the planet Grievous and his ma.s.sive battle group were defending.
Lanteeb. It was a nothing place, drab and brown and devoid of interest. Well, almost devoid.
I can feel him. I can. It"s not my imagination.
Master Windu glanced down at her. "Padawan?"
He made her nervous in a way no other Jedi did, not even Master Yoda. His presence in the Force was breathtaking. Standing beside him was like being buffeted by a gale-and he wasn"t even trying. He was just breathing, just being himself. What it felt like to be near Mace Windu when he exerted himself? That was something she wasn"t sure she ever wanted to experience.
132.
"Master..." Her mouth was dry. She swallowed, trying to calm her thudding heart. "He"s down there. Master Skywalker. I can feel him.
Not strongly. It"s just a whisper. But he"s there. "
"I know, " said Master Windu. With his first blinding flash of fury controlled he was quiet again, completely self-contained. "They"re both there. Somewhere. And they"re in trouble. "