He felt something deep inside him break. Hiding his face against her, he let himself go.
Stunned, Anakin stood in the shadows and watched Taria Damsin comfort Obi-Wan. Watched how she held him, how she stroked his hair and rubbed his back, her hands moving, her voice a soft, ceaseless murmur. He saw how Obi-Wan surrendered to her voice and her touch, how unguarded he was within her embrace.
They"re lovers. Or they were. He never told me. I never guessed.
Lost in each other, they were oblivious to the droids-and to him.
All those lectures about not needing anyone, about the importance of staying emotionally detached? And look at him. Look at him.
He"s drowning in her. He loves her.
And what did it mean? That everything Obi-Wan had said was a lie? That he was living a lie, denying his feelings, enforcing the Order"s ban on love not because he believed in it, but because he wasn"t strong enough to defy it?
It felt like a betrayal. It was a betrayal.
Padme.
Saying something, his low voice indistinct, Obi-Wan eased himself free of Taria Damsin"s arms. Then he cupped her face with his hand, and kissed her lightly on the lips.
Cold to his core, Anakin kicked the antigrav sled into motion and with a whining of servos pushed it forward. "Sorry to take so long, "
he said, crossing into the pale pool of light cast by the plasma shield and the generator. "You know how it is. Couldn"t find a sled I liked. "
Obi-Wan stood, his face carefully blank. "Anakin. "
"We should get moving, " he said, guiding the sled closer. "I have to get back to checking the generators-and Devi"s going to need a break soon. "
Obi-Wan slid Master Damsin"s comlink inside his shirt. "Yes. Of course. "
Between them they helped her onto the sled and returned to the sick house, where Teeba Sufi stared at them, astonished.
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"A new patient?" she said, unable to hide her dismay. And then she saw the lightsaber at Taria"s hip. "Another Jedi? Where did she..."
"I"ll explain everything later, Sufi, " said Obi-Wan, easing Master Damsin onto a cot. "Is there still some greensickness medicine left?
All I need is a drop. A smear will do. It"s very important. "
Teeba Sufi"s lips pinched tight. "Why do you want it? There"s not enough to waste, Teeb. "
"Sufi, I promise-this won"t be a waste, " said Obi-Wail. "Please. "
"All right, " Teeba Sufi said grudgingly, and withdrew to the cupboard at the back of the room.
Obi-Wan pulled out Master Damsin"s comlink. "It"s secure?" he asked her.
Deathly pale, she nodded. "And priority coded for Master Windu. " As Obi-Wan flipped the comlink open, she shifted her gaze.
"Anakin? Are you all right?"
This wasn"t the time or place to talk of love and lies. "I"m line. Just tired. "
He hadn"t fooled her. "Yes, " she murmured. "I can see that. "
The comlink crackled, a secure channel established.
"Indomitable, this is Ken.o.bi, " said Obi-Wan. "Do you copy?"
"Obi-Wan, this is Mace Windu. What"s your status?"
Anakin closed his eyes. For once it was good to hear Master Windu"s deep voice.
"We"re holding on, but our grip is fast slipping, " said Obi-Wan. "Durd"s droid army will break through our defenses very soon.
Master, Taria Damsin"s reached us and has explained the situation. We might have an answer to Doctor Netzl"s dilemma. Stand by for a biotransmission. "
"Standing by, " said Master Windu. Not even distance and decades of severe Jedi training could keep the suppressed excitement from his voice.
Turning, Obi-Wan looked at Teeb Sufi, who was hovering behind them with an almost empty bottle of herbal muck in her hand.
"Thank you, Sufi. Anakin..."
He took the bottle from her, unstoppered it, and with enormous care dripped a little of the foul stuff onto the fancy com- link"s bioscan plate. The comlink hummed, then beeped. Obi-Wan hit the transmit switch.
"Got it, " said Master Windu. "Patching it through to the Temple now. "
"Tell Doctor Netzl that whatever the active ingredients are, they"ve proven effective in counteracting damot.i.te poisoning. "
"Will do, " said Master Windu. "Obi-Wan, I won"t mince words-we"re getting pounded up here. Without wore ships we won"t break Grievous"s blockade. I don"t know if we"ll get to you before Durd"s droids do. "
"Understood, " said Obi-Wan. "Durd"s weapon is destroyed. That"s what matters. "
"We"re not pulling out yet, Obi-Wan, " Master Windu retorted. "So sit tight. And let me speak to Master Damsin. "
Taking the comlink, Taria Damsin cleared her throat. "Master Windu. "
"I ordered you to lay low until we could arrange an extraction. "
"Yes, Master, you did. "
"Now I"ve got three potential Jedi hostages in play. "
161.
"Master Windu, none of us will let it come to that. "
"Taria..."
"Mace, I"m sorry, " she said. "But did you really think I was going to turn my back on them?"
Anakin felt his eyebrows lift. Mace! He looked at Obi-Wan, who shrugged. His face and eyes were guarded. He knew, oh yes, he knew, that his former apprentice was displeased.
"Master Windu, " Master Damsin added. "We"re all right. You focus on Grievous. And when this is over you can shout at me in person. "
"Bet on it, " said Master Windu. "Indomitable out. "
Anakin looked again at Obi-Wan. "I"ve got to go. "
"I know, " said Obi-Wan. "Taria, give me a moment. Sufi?"
Frightened, Teeba Sufi swallowed. "Obi-Wan?"
"Where"s Greti? Did you send her home?"
"I tried, " said Teeba Sufi. "She wouldn"t go. She"s sleeping next door. "
"Then I"m sorry, but can you wake her? Master Damsin"s hurt. "
"She"s just a child, Obi-Wan, and she"s worn out, " the Teeba protested. "She"s helped you enough. I can see to your friend. Young Greti needs..."
Obi-Wan touched Teeba Sufi"s arm. "Please. It"s important. And Greti would want to help. "
"Obi-Wan..." Master Damsin tried to sit up. "Maybe..."
"Be quiet, " Obi-Wan snapped, glaring down at her. "Lie still. I"ll be back in a moment. "
Anakin led the way outside. On the sick house step Obi-Wan caught his arm. "Anakin... "
He pulled away. "Don"t. "
Obi-Wan"s dimly lit face was full of understanding, and sorrow. "Anakin-it was a long time go. It ended a long time ago. "
His sleeping anger woke. Really? It didn"t look like that to me. "You love her. "
"She"s my friend. "
He felt his fingers fist. Don"t yon lie. Not about this. Don"t you dare. "You love her. "
Monotonous blasterfire filled the silence between them. Then Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, Anakin, I love her. But I was never in love. For a short while Taria and I needed each other. And when we no longer needed each other, we parted-and remained friends. "
So that was how it worked, was it? Stay aloof, stay detached, never let yourself feel too much, too deeply, and the Order didn"t care?
So if Padme and I pretended we weren"t in love...
"Anakin, " Obi-Wan said sharply. "Don"t. Are you going to tell me that if you crossed that line with Padme you could cross back again? That you would ever be satisfied with only being her friend?"
The thought was unbearable. Never. "Are you saying you"re satisfied?"
Obi-Wan met his gaze without flinching. "Yes. "
It was the truth. Baffled, his anger dying, Anakin folded his arms. "I don"t understand you, Obi-Wan. "
162.
Obi-Wan almost smiled. "I know. "
And something tells me I never will. Not when it comes to this, anyway.
"I have to go, " he said. "The fuel lines need checking and Devi can"t do it alone. "
"I"ll join you soon, " said Obi-Wan. "I just want to see Taria settled. " A muscle leapt along his jaw. "See if there"s anything I can do to..."
The Force shivered a grim warning. "She"s in trouble, isn"t she?"
"She"s out of remission, " Obi-Wan said, his voice oddly flat. "Aggressively. "
Anakin felt a surge of pity-not just for Master Damsin, but for Obi-Wan, too. No amount of Jedi training could buffer this kind of grief. Didn"t he know that from bitter personal experience?
But I had Padme to soften the blow. And I was willing to let her help me. He won"t let anyone help. He still thinks he has to face everything alone.
"Can"t she go back into remission?"
Staring across the shadowed village square, Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don"t think so. Not this time. She"s pushed herself too hard, too far. "
For you. But he couldn"t say that. Not with Obi-Wan"s pain scorching in the Force. "I"m sorry. I really am. "
A long silence. Then Obi-Wan released a shuddering breath. "I know, " he said, glancing at him. "So am I. "
"Obi-Wan... " He had to say this. "Taria"s not the only one in trouble. "
"I know that, too. "
"So what do you think? Wait for the droid reinforcements to get here and roll the dice on one last big stand?"
"I think... " Obi-Wan dragged both hands down his face. "I think it"s a shame about Doctor Fhernan. "
Anakin looked down. Bant"ena. Flawed, misguided, and ultimately heroic. There was pain for her, somewhere, hut he couldn"t afford to feel it. Not now.
"She had her chance. I"ll see you at the plant. "
"You know, " said Tryn, edgy with irritation, "this would go a lot faster if you three stopped hovering"
"Sorry, " said Bail. "But we"ve got some anxious people who"ll only believe an eyewitness account. "