"Believe me, I still laugh. But if I can do a few things to make people forget that I can"t see, at least for a little while, I want to try. Oh, I know it"s pretty obvious in most situations, but occasionally I can pull it off. My cousin took me to a dark little bar downtown on Sat.u.r.day, and I met and talked to a guy for over a half hour without his knowing. It was great."
Kendra sighed. "I knew this was about a guy."
"It isn"t. I don"t care about him."
"Did he freak when he found out?"
"A little. But by then the ice had been broken. Look, I don"t expect you to understand."
"Of course I understand. I just don"t want you to think you ever have to do that around me." She added quietly, "I know how lucky I am. I wish with all my heart that I"d been able to bring you with me out of the darkness, Olivia."
"I wasn"t lucky enough to be a candidate for the operation. And someday I may come out on my own. They"re making all kinds of medical strides these days." She suddenly grinned. "But in the meantime, I do the best I can with the help of my friends. h.e.l.l, no. I"m not going to pretend to be anything but what I am around you. But I"m still going to practice around you once in a while. I need constructive criticism."
"If you insist."
"I do." She took a sip of wine. "But you didn"t come here to talk about my insecurities. What"s bothering you? Is your mom okay?"
"Blooming. She just left on a cruise to the Caribbean with her cousin, Jan. She told me she might bring back a s.e.xy beachcomber from Cancun."
"That sounds like her. Then what is it?"
She should have known that Olivia would sense her disturbance. As much credit as Kendra received for her powers of observation, it was Olivia who had a way of cutting to the emotional cores of the people in her life. "A man came to see me today. He"s working with the FBI on a murder case, and he wants my help."
"Another one of those. You said you were through with that bulls.h.i.t."
"I know. It"s the same case Jeff talked to me about a few weeks ago."
"I remember. You sent him packing."
"That"s right."
"Good. You promised, no more detective work. I can"t stand to go through another one of those cases with you."
"And I"ll keep my promise."
"So what"s the problem?"
Kendra looked away. "Something has happened to Jeff. He"s disappeared."
"And that"s what they want? They want your help to find Jeff?"
"They think his disappearance may be related to the case. I don"t have all the details, but I don"t believe he would just take off without telling anybody." She frowned. "At least, I don"t think he would."
"But you"re not sure." She smiled. "And that"s the reason you came here, Kendra."
"Since when do I need a reason? I came here because you offered me a drink."
"You came here because you want me to tell you it"s okay to do this. Maybe even that you should do this."
"Don"t be ridiculous. I don"t need anyone to tell me what to do. That"s not why I"m here."
"The h.e.l.l it isn"t."
s.h.i.t, Olivia knows me too d.a.m.ned well.
"Okay. Maybe I am worried. What if he"s in trouble? I"d never forgive myself if anything happened to him if I could have prevented it."
"Guilt. That"s exactly what he used to rope you into the Racine kidnapping case."
"I got one of those kids back. Another few hours, and he would have been buried alive."
"But he"d already murdered the other two children, and you almost died in the process."
"You"re exaggerating."
"Am I?"
Probably not, Kendra admitted to herself. The children had been abducted by a local politician"s aide, and the case had totally consumed her night and day for the better part of three weeks. By the end of it, she was ill, numb with exhaustion, and her relationship with Jeff was in tatters.
"It"s been over a year, and sometimes I still wonder if you"ve recovered," Olivia said grimly.
"This is different. This is ... Jeff."
"Jeff ... who you swore you never wanted to see again?"
"I still don"t," she said tartly. "But I can"t erase him as if he never existed. And it doesn"t mean I want to see him floating facedown in the river."
"Listen, Kendra, it"s not as if he was the love of your life. You came together because you wanted a little stability after those first few years of sowing your wild oats when you gained your vision. Jeff Stedler was the perfect choice, steady and yet offering you a chance to do something different and interesting. Only it didn"t turn out that way. Something "different" d.a.m.n well nearly blew you apart."
"We were together almost a year. I can"t just shrug that off."
Olivia shook her head. "They"re using your feelings for him to draw you into this investigation." She leaned forward. "Dammit, remember how hard it was for you? You had never been in such a dark place before, Kendra. You scared the h.e.l.l out of me."
"I scared the h.e.l.l out of myself."
Olivia shook her head. "But that"s not going to stop you, is it?"
"I haven"t decided yet."
"Yes, you have. I can hear it in your voice. You"ve switched on the autopilot."
"You"re wrong."
"It"s not fun when you"re the one being a.n.a.lyzed, is it? But I know that tone in your voice. Your mind is already working on it. We could sit here for half an hour talking about everything under the sun, and you would say all the right things. But I"d still know."
She sighed. "My d.a.m.n voice. You"d think I"d learn."
"I always know when that mind of yours has kicked into high gear. I can hear the gears turning, girl." She reached out and picked up her gla.s.s. "So I"m not wasting my time." Then she put the gla.s.s down again with force. "The h.e.l.l I"m not." She leaned forward, found Kendra"s hand, and tightly clasped it. "You"re important to me. Probably the most important person in my life. I won"t lose you. Okay, do what you have to do. But don"t you dare come back like that again. Do you hear me?"
"I could hardly help it." She chuckled as she reached forward and gave Olivia a quick hug. "I guess that means I"ve made a decision. I just had to have you tell me what it was."
"Always willing to oblige. Now, since that"s settled, have another gla.s.s of wine and tell me about Jimmy"s "possible" breakthrough. You know how I adore your success stories."
AN HOUR LATER, KENDRA SAT in her condo and stared at the phone in her hands. Was she really going to do this?
Who in the h.e.l.l was she kidding?
She dragged her finger down the touch screen until she saw the uninvited listing in her phone book: LYNCH, ADAM.
Neat trick.
She pressed it to dial the number.
Lynch answered on the first ring. "I"m glad you called."
"I have a few questions for you."
"Anything."
"Do you have any suspects?"
"None."
"Does this series of murders cross-reference with any others in the database?"
"Not really."
"So Jeff was about as close to catching the killer as my mom"s pug is. a.s.suming that the killer was even remotely aware of Jeff "s existence, why would he be considered a threat?"
"You"re obviously going to ask me more than a "few" questions. Suppose you meet me at his office tomorrow morning. The Bureau will bring you up to speed. You"ll be given full access to all of his materials relating to the case."
"You said they didn"t want me on the case."
"They just hadn"t thought of it. They have nothing but the utmost respect for you."
"Don"t lie to me."
"Okay, they think you"re kind of a smart-a.s.s b.i.t.c.h."
"That"s more like it."
"But they"re willing to work with you."
"Why?"
"Because I"ll insist."
"And who are you to be telling the FBI what to do? Make no mistake, I like it. I"ve had my run-ins with the Bureau."
"I understand that"s an understatement."
"And I understand that you"ve had your run-ins with them, too."
A silence. "You"ve been asking questions."
"And getting answers."
"I expected that to happen, but I thought I"d have a little time to prepare the way. Did you find out anything that might turn you against me?"
"Nothing that I can"t handle. But there"s something I"m not getting here. You"re no ordinary consultant, right?"
He paused. "Can we talk about this later?"
"No."
"I"ve done work for most of the federal law-enforcement agencies. In this case, I"m here at the behest of the Justice Department."
"Are you acting as some kind of profiler?"
"No. When Jeff Stedler disappeared, it became more than just a serial killer case."
"Why you?"
"Besides the fact that I used to be with the Bureau, I have a reputation for getting things done. It also didn"t hurt that I live in the area. I"m familiar with the way things work around here."
"And are you up to speed on the case?"
"Totally. We can go over it tomorrow morning."
"I haven"t told you I"m on board yet."
"What more do you need?"
"I want to see Jeff"s condo. I"m sure his FBI buddies have already made a sweep through there."
"They have. They came up empty."
"I"m sure they did. So when can I get in there?"
"How about now? I can meet you there in ten minutes."
"You just happen to have his keys on you?"
"No."
"Right. I guess we"re just going to break in?"