He nodded. "I was pretty sure when I found the kids that I"d seen fingers trapped in a pile of rubble beyond the point where I"d discovered them. But I had to get the kids out first if they were going to survive. Their injuries wouldn"t wait."
Penny understood. "So you went back in to check it out?"
"It was a body. Young. Female. Too late to save." He shook his head. "She wasn"t supposed to be there. Her name wasn"t among the guests listed on the hotel"s register. But she was there. Visiting from Philly for the weekend."
"She was staying with a friend at the hotel?" Penny guessed.
He nodded. "Her lover. Her husband didn"t have a clue his wife was cheating on him."
Penny"s heart skipped a beat. She"d understood that Steele had never been married. Surely...
"The woman was my sister." His gaze connected with Penny"s. "She never told her husband about the affair. She didn"t even tell me. But finding her like that and having to drag her out piece by piece..." He shook his head. "It changed something in me. I couldn"t do it anymore."
"That"s..." Penny licked her lips, tried to think of the right words. There were none.
"Awful," he supplied. "I know. Exactly why I decided not to fully trust anyone of the opposite s.e.x again. She was my sister and even she lied to the people who loved her. If I couldn"t trust her, why would I ever trust anyone?"
At least now Penny understood why he hadn"t wanted a female partner. If he"d been able to accomplish this alone, she would not be here.
Somehow she had to make sure he understood that he could trust her.
Chapter Ten.
Inside, 1:00 p.m.
Ben"s legs were cramping. His side continued to throb. Unfortunately that did not stop the rest of his anatomy from reacting to the sweet backside ensconced in his lap.
Just like before.
Despite the precarious situation they were in.
It would be too much to hope that she hadn"t noticed. She was literally perched on his increasing arousal. He supposed that was why she hadn"t made eye contact with him for the past fifteen minutes. For that he was immensely grateful.
He"d spilled his guts about that last rescue in hopes of maintaining the proper frame of mind. Of putting things-women-in perspective.
Hadn"t helped.
The silence, hearing only her steady breathing, did nothing but make things worse. He"d counted from a thousand backward. He visualized every card in a poker deck. Name it and he"d tried it to attempt to distract himself from thinking about her body.
And the ways his appeared determined to react.
Regardless of the facts that they"d crawled through a seemingly endless metal tunnel and the suits they wore made them sweat, she smelled sweet, womanly. The fragrance of fruit-scented shampoo lingered in her hair. Made him want to lean closer...to distinguish that pleasant sweet scent from the one that was solely her.
Bottom line, he liked her body. His acute attraction to her lean curves would not be ignored. He"d spent the past year and a half ensuring his s.e.x life floated on the surface. No relationships. Nothing more than casual s.e.x. It made life a h.e.l.l of a lot easier on more than one level. And he didn"t have to wonder if the woman he fell in love with, trusted with his entire heart and soul, would cheat on him.
Love was off-limits.
He"d loved his sister. But watching the devastation that she"d left behind play out had been a major wake-up call for Ben. If he hadn"t been able to trust his own sister, a woman who"d been the most compa.s.sionate, caring person he"d ever known, how could he ever trust anyone else?
So he"d drifted, not latching on or allowing anyone to latch on to him. What the h.e.l.l did he need with a wife anyway? His work was far too dangerous most of the time to put someone else"s happiness on the line. No one should have to face that kind of devastation, with or without the whole cheating aspect.
Life was too complicated anyway. That was something else he"d learned working with the Equalizers. The strength of his boss and his family-particularly his mother-never ceased to amaze him. They walked through the fire and not only survived, but thrived.
Maybe Ben just wasn"t made of that fireproof material.
"I have to move."
Before Alexander"s words could penetrate past the distraction of his own troubling thoughts, she"d scrambled out of his lap. The backpacks tumbled to the carpeted floor. The abrupt separation of her body from his caused an audible hitch in his respiration.
He shook it off, told himself to pull it together.
It had to be the adrenaline and stress.
He hadn"t had this much trouble keeping his mind on work in a long, long time.
And a woman hadn"t been this kind of distraction in too long to remember. Even before the tragedy with his sister, separating his focus from anything else-including women-had been effortless.
The last report they"d gotten from Jim or Michaels was that the two men aware of an outsider"s presence were still on the third floor scrounging around for proof of where the outsider had gone next.
Ben gritted his teeth against the pain in his side as he scooted from beneath the desk. He stood. Alexander was pacing back and forth at one end of the desk. Her steps were noiseless so he couldn"t exactly complain. He watched her movements. A little stiff, shaky even.
The way she"d rushed out of that tunnel the first time flashed in his brain. The woman definitely had a problem with closed in s.p.a.ces.
Maybe her hasty bolt from under the desk had more to do with that than with his increasingly obvious s.e.xual arousal.
But he couldn"t chastise her for it, since he"d clearly been struggling with a glaring and abrupt weakness of his own.
"You never really explained why you were in such a hurry to get out of the return duct." She"d insisted that it was about tending to his injury, but he knew better. At the time she"d had no idea that he"d needed any real attention. Could have been nothing more than a sc.r.a.pe. She"d pretended concern that simply wasn"t appropriate under the circ.u.mstances.
She waved him off but didn"t stop pacing. "I already told you. I needed-" she gestured to his patched suit "-to take care of your injury."
Yeah, yeah, she"d said that.
He shook his head. "And like I said, you were afraid. Terrified. That wasn"t about me." He knew what he"d sensed. He"d given her the truth, for his own reasons. If they were partners, she needed to do the same. Seemed as good a way as any to redirect his interest.
She stopped, faced him, hands on those lean but shapely hips. "So I got a little claustrophobic. Big deal. We needed to take care of your injury anyway. That was the only problem. I...I could"ve kept going."
The flicker of fear in those green eyes refuted her words. "Really?" he pressed.
"Are you trying to make me angry?" She clamped her mouth shut when the words echoed around her. Keeping their conversation to a whisper was imperative though it was fairly clear at this point that no one was going to hear them as long as they were quiet.
"Looks like I succeeded whether I was trying or not." She was really angry. Just more evidence that she was hiding something. Undeniable proof that he would be a fool to trust her. No matter how good the woman was at heart, she covered herself with distractions and deceptions even when full disclosure was called for. Alexander was no different from any of the rest, just because she could maneuver the same sort of tight spots he could.
She glared at him for an extended moment. "Fine." She threw her arms up. "Since you"ve got this ridiculous trust issue, I suppose if I want you to trust me I should tell you the truth."
"Be a nice change," he muttered.
Renewed fury tightened her lips for several seconds before she spoke again. "I got locked in a closet when I was a kid. It was stupid. My older sister playing a trick on me. The only problem is she got distracted and forgot. We were home alone. I was in there all day."
He rested a hip on the edge of the desk. d.a.m.n his side ached. "Told you that you couldn"t trust women." Seemed she had learned that lesson at an early age.
Alexander rolled her eyes. "Anyway-" she released a big breath "-after that I couldn"t stand to be in my room or the bathroom or anyplace else with the door closed. I"m okay now. I mean, I get a little uncomfortable in extended elevator rides, stuff like that. But it"s not a big deal. I"ve got it under control."
"Really?" He gave his head a little shake. "What happened in that long metal tunnel was not control. Not by a long shot."
The glower she"d arranged her face into shifted into something like desperation. "Are you going to put it in your final report?" She lifted her chin in challenge. "I"ve done my job. I"ve been a good partner. Except," she muttered, "for my gloves."
All true. "I take it you didn"t mention this little phobia in the interview process."
Of course she hadn"t. She wanted the position. Which didn"t exactly explain why she"d chosen to change professions midstream, so to speak. He had a reason. A d.a.m.ned good one. She would have one as well. It was human nature to take the easiest route personally and professionally. Changing careers was always motivated by something...money at the very least.
"No." She looked away, licked those nice lips. He"d noticed how lush they were before but he"d blocked the thought. Just another detail he hadn"t meant to inventory. "I didn"t think it would be an issue. It wouldn"t normally be relevant."
"Understandable." His eyes narrowed in question. "Why did you decide you didn"t want to be a forensics tech anymore? Seems strange that you"d throw away years of training."
The hesitation before she answered warned that the answer wasn"t so simple.
"The new lab facility was underground. No windows. Just..." She shrugged. "You know...I guess I was bored with the whole thing."
If it made her feel better to believe that reasoning he wasn"t going to burst her bubble. "Change can be good sometimes."
The relief that washed across her face made his gut clench. Made him feel pleased that he"d decided not to argue her a.s.sessment. Stupid, Steele. Really, really stupid.
"I"ve kept a part time job as a gymnastics instructor since college." A smile touched her lips, brightened her whole face. "I was into the whole scene, you know. Dance, gymnastics, you name it, back in school. From the time I was a kid. I didn"t want to give it up even though I understood that it couldn"t be a career for me. I wasn"t that good."
"I guess," he offered gently, "for me, it was a good thing you weren"t."
The silence crammed in again, leaving them standing there just looking at each other. It wasn"t as if they could go anywhere at the moment and there wasn"t anything in particular that felt right to say.
Strangely, it wasn"t that awkward. He liked her eyes. Really liked her hair. That fiery mane fit her take-no-garbage att.i.tude.
"I think maybe I"ll have one of those power bars." She lowered to her knees on the floor and picked through her backpack.
Ben winced as he did the same.
"You"ll have to get that looked at by a professional as soon as this is over," she commented as she tore into the bar.
If they survived. "Yeah." He wasn"t looking forward to the removal of that d.a.m.ned tape. She"d warned him but they"d had little other choice.
He munched on the power bar, then took a swig of water from the foil package. "What happened to your sister?" he asked, reminding himself to keep his voice low. "The one who locked you in the closet." Ironic that they both had issues related to their sisters.
Alexander had settled onto the floor and relaxed against the desk. "Married. Three kids. She"s scared to death one of hers will do something equally cruel to the other. She watches them like a hawk."
Ben felt a smile tug at his lips. He didn"t do that often anymore. Funny that he would now. The circ.u.mstances weren"t exactly optimal for humor. "I can"t say that I blame her."
"She"s a good sister," Alexander said. "She lives close to our parents, takes care of anything they need. When I go home for a visit, it"s all fun and happy times." Her gaze connected fully with his. "And I know it"s hard to do all that. I mean the kids, the aging parents. Life is complicated and sometimes painful. She protects me from some of that and I appreciate it."
He"d thought the same thing a little earlier. Life was very complicated. "It"s the least she can do after scarring you for life."
Alexander put her hand over her mouth to m.u.f.fle her mirth. "I hadn"t looked at it that way. But you have a valid point."
He finished off the water packet. "Maybe you shouldn"t mention that to your sister."
She nodded, then ventured, "Do you have any family, besides the sister you lost?"
He nodded. Couldn"t for the life of him figure out why he was telling her all this. "Two brothers. Our parents are still alive. They"re all in the Chicago area. We get together about once a month and on holidays of course."
"Us, too," she said, "except for the once a month thing-it"s more like every couple of months." She leaned her head back against the desk. "I guess you"d call us close, by most standards these days anyway."
Considering how many families didn"t do that sort of thing anymore, he would definitely call it close.
"Boyfriend?" He bit his teeth together, hadn"t meant to ask that question. Too late, it was out.
She shook her head, sending a wisp of that gorgeous red hair falling across her forehead. "I just never seem to find time for a social life. The recitals I do with the kids usually take up most of my free time."
Sounded like a cop-out to him. He might not be into relationships, but s.e.x was something he rarely avoided with the right and willing partner.
"You?" she queried. Then she formed one of those perfect O"s with her mouth. "Oh. Wait, you said you didn"t like women."
"I said-" he leaned forward to look her dead in the eye "-that I didn"t trust them. Not that I didn"t like them. I have a very healthy social life, Miss Alexander."
"Social life," she countered in a self-righteous tone, "or s.e.x life?"
He shrugged. "What"s the difference?" The irritation that lit in her eyes told him he"d struck an ultrasensitive nerve.
"Are you serious? There"s a huge difference. s.e.x is..." She waved her hands back and forth as if wiping away his entire way of thinking on the subject. "It"s not the same thing at all. How can you even say that?"
"Maybe not," he granted, "but it"s the way I prefer it." No point sugarcoating the truth. It was what it was. End of story.
"Talk about scarred for life," she retorted. "You have no right to judge, Ben Steele. Your sister kept a secret from you that was actually none of your darned business and now you don"t trust women. That"s not exactly rational."
His hackles rose when he should have stopped the whole line of discussion right there. "About as rational as leaving a job you"ve gone to school and trained for just because you couldn"t deal with being below ground level in a lab."
This time the silence that lapsed was anything but comfortable.
She rolled back onto her knees and gathered their snack wrappers and empty drink containers to stuff them in the pack. "What the h.e.l.l is going on out there? Why haven"t we heard from Ian or Colby?"
Ben got to his feet, tapped his mic. "What"s our status?"
"The one loitering on your floor has just moved into the stairwell," Jim reported. "Second man"s still on the third floor."
That wasn"t what Ben had wanted to hear. The longer he was stuck in this room...the deeper he thrust his foot into his mouth. "Any chance we can move yet?" He didn"t have to mention that time was wasting. All at the temporary command center were well aware of the pa.s.sing of each precious second.