The signs had been there. Warning flags were waved in every direction from most of the people surrounding her. However, she blanked them out. The few times she’d spoken to a counselor after leaving Dillon, she was told it was possible she leaned into Dillon after her mom died because he was a piece of something that no longer existed anymore. He was a witness to a soul another man in her life would never meet. In a sense, holding on to him was holding on to her mother. Holding on to her past. Although that past was painted with specks of sorrow, it was still familiar, understood. It was cold, yet warm, dark, yet filled with bright light she would never experience again. It was something that was forever… gone.
As Emily dried her hands, Gavin’s words from this morning filtered into her thoughts. Not only did she have to forgive her mother for the mistakes she made, she also needed to forgive herself. And that’s exactly what she did in those seconds in her sister’s kitchen on this particular late Christmas afternoon. Though she knew she’d never begin to fully understand the way her mother was or the way she’d followed in her path, Emily reached into her heart and stripped away the last bit of negativity she held toward herself and her mother.
“Hey, I lost you there for a few.” Lisa’s soft voice lulled Emily back. Placing her hand on Emily’s cheek, she gave a weak smile. “Are you okay?”
Emily didn’t answer as she pulled her sister in for a hug. As if sensing what Emily was going through, Lisa squeezed her tight. Her comforting hold seized Emily with love as it always did.
“Uh oh. We’ve interrupted a sisterly moment.” Michael chuckled as he and Gavin strolled into the kitchen. “We suck, man.”
Staring at his jewel, Gavin smiled and leaned against the arched entryway. He watched Emily back away from her sister, love gripping him by the neck as her gaze caught his. Even dressed in sweatpants and a sweats.h.i.+rt, she was so G.o.dd.a.m.n beautiful she took his breath away. With a smile on her face that filled him completely, she made her way toward him. Warmth spilled through his body as she looped her arms around his neck, her soft auburn hair draping down her back as she looked up at him. She seemed genuinely happy, and he could feel it.
“Have I told you that you look amazeb.a.l.l.s in yellow?” Emily laughed, snuggling against his chest.
Michael snorted, reaching for an olive on a platter filled with cold cuts and cheese. “Yeah right. He looks like Big Bird on crack.” Lisa smacked his arm and pulled the cookies from the oven. “That hurt, babe.” Michael mocked pain and rubbed his arm.
Gavin shook his head. “You might be right, Michael, but if you’d received the… gifts I did in exchange for wearing this, you might find yourself on a crack high modeling a Knicks sweats.h.i.+rt.”
Emily blushed and laughed.
“Not a chance, buddy,” Michael replied, popping the olive into his mouth. “No matter what my sister-in-law gave you, considering your big, goofy a.s.s looks like it was. .h.i.t with a hearty blast of sun, I’m thinking you need to withhold your last Christmas gift and give it to me instead. h.e.l.l, I’d be your girlfriend and wear a Knicks sweats.h.i.+rt. Me love you long time, Gavin.”
“Michael!” Lisa gasped, smacking his arm again.
Michael chuckled, and Emily looked at Gavin, her expression confused. “Last gift? I thought we were done exchanging?”
Gavin popped a knowing brow, a smirk on his face. “Ah. That’s what I had you thinking, sweets. To be quite honest, I’m filled with surprises that’ll keep your mind… blown… constantly.” Dipping his head, he pulled her closer, his lips brus.h.i.+ng her ear. “And I’m not just talking about when those gorgeous, shaking legs are wrapped around my head while you’re moaning my name.”
Emily whipped her head around, glancing over her shoulder at Michael and Lisa. Thankfully, they weren’t paying attention. Quickly, she pulled Gavin down for a heart-stopping kiss, and then she whispered into his ear, “Thank you so very much for making my legs shake the way you do.”
Gavin grinned, his eyes filled with considerable male appreciation. “The pleasure’s always mine.” Emily smiled, and Gavin looked at Michael. “Hey, Lakers loser.”
Michael snapped his head up from where he was digging into the smorgasbord of food piled on the counter. “What’s up, New York Knicks-don’t-have-a-chance-in-their-wildest-f.u.c.king-dreams n.o.body?”
Gavin threw his head back and laughed. “Whatever you say.”
“Yeah. We’ll see.” Michael swiped a beer from the refrigerator. “What can I do for you?”
“I forgot to grab the, uh”—Gavin looked down at Emily and back to Michael—”you know, those things, from you last night.”
Leaning against the counter, Michael took a long pull from his beer and shrugged. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.”
For the third time in less than five minutes, Lisa swatted his arm. “Michael. You know what he’s asking for. Stop being a jackhole.”
“d.a.m.n, babe. It’s Christmas.” Lisa rolled her eyes. Shaking his head, Michael snorted and dug into his pocket.
Gavin let out a puff of air, turned Emily around, and slid his arms around her waist. Walking behind her, he moved her toward Michael and yanked something from his hand that Emily couldn’t see.
“What are you all up to?” Emily’s eyes flicked to her sister, whose face looked as if it was about to burst at the seams with joy.
“Does she have sneakers on?” was Lisa’s answer, clapping as Emily and Gavin rounded the corner to the mudroom flanking the back end of the house.