"I know you love me, Mom." Whether or not they were proud of her was a different opinion altogether. There were plenty of times Tracy wasn"t so proud of herself. "I guess it"s admitting to Daddy that he was right about everything that"s the real problem. I should never have stayed with Jake after the miscarriage." She picked up her teacup and stared down into the dark liquid. "h.e.l.l, I shouldn"t"ve gotten involved with him again after we broke up the first time. If I hadn"t, I wouldn"t"ve gotten pregnant in the first place. Then I should"ve joined the Army and got my training to be a doctor away from here like Daddy wanted me to."
"Then you wouldn"t have Bobby." Her mother reached over the table and laid her hand on Tracy"s. "I can"t imagine life without my grandson, and neither can Bob. Besides, you never wanted to join the military any more than Dylan had. Doing so would have been just as disastrous for you as it was for him."
"Bobby"s my life." Tracy sipped her tea. She actually couldn"t imagine being a doctor now at this time in her life, either. But there were times she felt like she"d settled.
"What are you going to do with his att.i.tude problem?"
Tracy straightened her spine and clenched her teeth. "Can I wring Jake"s neck? He"s the reason there was a problem today. He"s known about the wedding for two weeks, and that jerk had Bobby believing he wanted to take him to a Texas Rangers game. I"d bet my paycheck, he had no intention of taking Bobby anywhere. Jake was playing him because he knew Bobby would give me a hard time."
"Which he did. If Zack hadn"t intervened while Dylan and Charli exchanged vows, he wouldn"t have stopped fidgeting. I think he was doing it only for attention, too." Her mother sipped her tea. "But he wasn"t expecting Zack to bring him into check."
Tracy"s stomach flip-flopped when Bobby started tapping his foot in clear impatience and obstinacy during the ceremony. Then her heart had done an answering back flip when Zack snuck his hand over and laid it on Bobby"s shoulder. He"d looked up into Zack"s stern face, immediately stopped his agitation, and spent the rest of the service behaving himself. Later in the ceremony, Zack winked at Bobby and patted him on the shoulder. With that caring move, Tracy saw what kind of man Zack had turned intoloving, supportive, and understanding.
She ached with the knowledge Jake couldn"t be anything but manipulative, demanding, and demeaning.
"What are you doing about Jake?" Her mother drew Tracy out of her thoughts.
Tracy shrugged and hugged the mug between her hands. "I have no idea. I"ve tried talking to him, but he won"t listen to me. And now, he"s threatened me with another custody battle. We go to court in three weeks."
Her mother took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What does your lawyer say?"
Tracy snorted and set her mug on the table. "I"m looking for a new one."
"So soon before the court date?" Tracy nodded in answer, and her mother"s lips compressed into to a thin line. "You should sue him for full custody."
"I can"t take Bobby away from his father."
Mom leaned back in her chair. "In this case, no father would be better than a bad one."
Jake wasn"t anybody"s saint, and compared to Zack, he was severely lacking, but he wasn"t necessarily a bad father. He wasn"t a deadbeat dad. He never hit their son, nor had he lacked interest in Bobby. Sure, Jake lost his temper and said things that hurt him, but in Jake"s mind, he was better than his old man. Jake"s father had been physically abusive and cruel.
Her mother shook her head and lifted her cup to her lips. "Jake Parker has been bad news ever since you let him into your life. What in G.o.d"s name did you see in him to make you do what you did? Zack has turned into such a wonderful young man. He"s such a doting father too."
Tracy tightened her grip on the mug until her knuckles whitened. Her mother knew the story, every disgusting detail. She didn"t need to be a mind reader to know her mother wished Zack was her grandson"s father.
Tracy set her cup down with a thump, angry at her own stupid foolishness as much as her mother for bringing up the past. "I don"t know, Mom. I thought Jake loved me."
"But you never loved him. Just like you probably didn"t love the man you left Jake for."
She pinned her mother with a glower. "You really haven"t a clue, do you?"
"About what?" She lowered her mug.
Tracy stood and fisted her hands by her sides. "I didn"t leave Jake for another man."
"But everyone knows you lived for almost a year with someone in Waco before moving back. You haven"t even told me his name."
"That"s because I wasn"t living with anyone!" When her mother"s brow puckered, Tracy sighed and relaxed her hands. "It was Logan."
"Zack"s brother?"
Tracy would have laughed at her mother"s widened eyes if her total lack of faith didn"t slice right through Tracy"s gut. "Yes. Logan gave me a loan to move away from Jake and helped me get a job with a friend of his at a salon in the city. Over the years, Logan became my best friend." Tracy shook her head and looked away. "At first, we kept our friendship secret because he was Zack"s brother. Now we do because of the hideous rumor I left Jake and shacked up with some guy in Waco. We never wanted people to wonder. If Winnie Cartwright didn"t like me so much, I"m sure that little rumor Jake and his mother put out there would have flamed as out of control as a brush fire in August." She faced her mom again and winced. "I"ve never slept with Logan. It would be like being with my brother."
"I had no idea."
"Of course not." Tracy crossed her arms. "You haven"t had much interest in anything concerning Dylan and me since high school. And the fact you"d believe a rumor started by my ex-husband to drag my reputation further into the dirt really hurts." She spun away.
"Your father and I have always cared about you and your brother."
Tracy faced her mother. "Right. If it hadn"t been for Maddie"
"Stop right there." Mom scowled and held up a finger. "I"ll admit I wish I"d been here when you found out about your first pregnancy, but you were supposed to be a responsible adult by then, too. You were supposed be working toward your medical degree. Not" She swallowed and shook her finger. "Don"t you dare compare me with my stepmother."
The French doors opened and her father, following two noisy ginger-colored Yorkies, stepped into the kitchen. Retired General Robert Quinn looked from Tracy to Eileen. "Am I interrupting one of those mother-daughter talks?"
"Yes." Her mother glared at her.
"No," Tracy said at the same time as her mom.
"Okay," her father drew out in his East Coast accent and started moving across the kitchen. "I"ve been a soldier long enough to know to stay out of no-man"s-land. Goodnight, ladies."
"Sit down, Dad." Tracy looked at her mother. "Mom and I are finished."
"Alright then." Her father looked again from her mother to Tracy, obviously unconvinced. "Where"s Bobby?"
"Sleeping. He"s worn out." She retook her seat across from her mother.
Tracy cringed when her dad chuckled and took a chair beside her mother. A team of interrogators couldn"t be more intimidating than her mother and father. "He and Cartwright"s little girl seemed to get along well."
She jumped out of her chair and headed for the teakettle on the stove. Was there no escaping the topic of Zack Cartwright and his little girl? At first, Bobby hadn"t wanted to have anything to do with Amanda when she"d approached him while the adults danced and mingled after the wedding dinner.
"I think it was a combination of boredom on Bobby"s part, and Amanda"s determination in showing Bobby she wasn"t a sissy." Tracy went about making her father a cup of the G.o.d-awful instant coffee he drank from the hot water still in the teakettle.
She returned to the table with the cup of the so-called coffee and asked her mother if she wanted more tea. Despite their tiff, Eileen was still Tracy"s mother, and she"d been raised to respect her parents. Her mother declined. Tracy refreshed her cup, set the kettle back on the stove, and returned to the table.
Her father took a sip of his coffee. "I enjoyed watching the kids. Amanda"s definitely a tomboy under the lace and frills."
Once her mother finished her tea, she raised her brow and smirked at her husband. "You and Zack seemed to get along well."
Dad shrugged and lifted the lid on a cookie jar in the middle of the table. "Zack"s came a long way from the days he played cowboy. He"s a good man."
He removed five chocolate chip cookies, and her mom held up three fingers. He sighed and dropped one of the cookies back into the jar. "d.a.m.n shame about his being wounded, then losing his wife, but he seems to have bounced back and settled into civilian life. He told me he and his cousin Lance are seriously getting into the cattle business." He dunked one of the cookies into his coffee and popped it into his mouth. "I guess when it"s in the blood, the ranching bug can"t be fought. Look at my own son. The Quinns have a military history going back to an aide de camp to General George Washington, but Dylan"s d.a.m.ned Texas blood is too strong. I"ll never understand the whole cowboy allure."
"That"s because you"re a d.a.m.ned Yankee," her mother teased in her best southern drawl and leaned toward him. She kissed him on the lips and winked. Then she took one of his remaining cookies, but he took it back by grabbing her wrist and plucking the cookie out of her fingers. She narrowed her eyes at him. "But I"ve never held that against you."
He held up the cookie and popped it into his mouth around his smile. Her father"s gray eyes twinkled. He loved his wife with his entire being.
What Tracy wouldn"t do to have a manhave Zacklook at her that way, especially after thirty-eight years of marriage.
He swallowed the cookie with a sip of coffee. "Well, I"m glad that"s the only thing you haven"t."
Tracy groaned and covered her ears with her hands. "Ugh! I"m gonna be scarred for life soon." She loved her parents and admired their relationship. It hadn"t always been easy for them, not with her father away for months at a time and moving every few years when he was in the Army.
"Sorry, sweetie, I guess your daddy and I need to learn to behave ourselves." Her mother bent and ruffled the fur of the two Yorkies sitting by her feet. "I think Ginger, Cinnamon, and I are going to bed." She stepped in behind Tracy. "Goodnight, sweetheart." With her eyes full of sorrow and her smile rueful, her mother patted Tracy"s shoulder.
Tracy smiled her forgiveness. "Goodnight, Momma."
Her mother nodded once and headed out of the kitchen with the little dogs padding along on either side of her.
Several minutes of silence pa.s.sed until her father asked, "So, what"s going on between you and the good sheriff?"
What was with her parents? Back when she and Zack actually had a chance at a future together, Mom and Dad hadn"t wanted them together. Now, they were all but planning their wedding. She looked down at the cup between her hands. "Nothing."
"Why not?"
"You know very well why not." She narrowed her eyes on her father.
He raised a brow and set his mug on the table. "I don"t think I do. You aren"t married. He"s a widower. And there"s no one who attended that wedding today who doesn"t know Zack Cartwright and you would"ve preferred to have been somewhere else instead of on the dance floor."
She leaned back in the chair and laughed. "Well, you"ve got that right. We wanted to be on opposite sides of the state."
"I meant somewhere alonetogether."
"Huh?" Zack had treated her like a leper.
Her father leaned over his arms with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Do I really have to spell it out?"
"I have no idea what you"re talking about. I don"t know what you and Mom think you saw, but I know Zack, and I know now that Dylan is okay, we"ll go back to avoiding each other. He has made it pretty d.a.m.ned clear what his opinion of me is."
Shaking his head, her father sat back. "Tracy, I"m going to give you a piece of advice."
"Why bother? You know I"m not going to take it." She stood and carried her cup to the sink.
"This time I hope you do," he softly said, and she looked over her shoulder at him. "I know you think there"s no future for you and Zack, but I think differently."
She hurried toward the door to the hallway. She"d had enough of her parents thinking they knew something when they didn"t. Neither one of them had seen her since last Christmas when they"d come to Texas for a few days to celebrate the holidays. "Well, good for you, but I know better. Goodnight, Dad."
"Tracy," he said as she reached the door.
Against her better judgment she stopped. She drew in a breath and turned. Why had she been raised to obey that particular tone in her father"s voice? She crossed her arms.
He picked up his cup and her mother"s, and headed for the sink. "So, you"ve made mistakes. But if you"re given a second chance, don"t screw it up."
"That"s your advice?" She clamped down on the rest of her retort. Nice that you"re such an expert on my life.
Her brother"s final words, as he left her on the dance floor, eerily echoed her father"s statement.
Depositing the mugs in the sink, he shrugged, then strode across the kitchen to her. He patted her on the shoulders and looked her in the eye. How could she be an inch taller than her father, even without her shoes, but still feel insignificant?
"Yes. I suppose it is, but I also think that advice could be taken for a lot of things. Not just concerning Cartwright. Are you really happy, Tracy Caroline?" Before she could process an answer, he kissed her on the cheek. "All I want is for you to be happy. That"s all I"ve ever wanted for both of my children. Sweet dreams, Pixie."
She watched him leave through the swinging door into the hallway.
The last time he"d called her by the pet name had been when she"d clung to him before he boarded a plane headed to the first war in Iraq twenty-two years ago when she was twelve years old.
Zack pulled the extended cab Ram truck into the two-car garage he"d built onto the log and limestone house. The old homestead had seen six generations of Cartwrights come and go. Cutting the engine, he looked over his shoulder at his daughter sleeping in her booster seat. It wasn"t incredibly late, but she and Tracy"s boy had played long into the evening.
He got out and opened the back door. After unbuckling the belt over Mandy"s seat, he lifted her into his arms.
"C"mon, baby girl," he murmured and held her close to his chest. She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
The house was dark and quiet as he carried Mandy down the hall to her bedroom. He pulled off her sodden shoes, laid her down onto the frilly pink comforter, and left her to fetch a damp washcloth from the bathroom.
When he returned, he wiped the worst of the grime from her face, arms, and legs. Her black hair tangled around the limp sleeves of her blue dress. The scuffed and wet white patent leather shoes were unsalvageable. He didn"t have much hope for the filthy frilly dress either.
While the adults had been enjoying traditional dances and the whole garter and flower throwing silliness, Mandy and Bobby had played in the water of the lake at the edge of the front yard. If he hadn"t wanted to escape after he"d caught the blue garter Dylan deliberately tossed to him and after Tracy had caught Charli"s bouquet, he might not have found the two kids to get them the h.e.l.l out of the water.
Besides her newfound friendship with Bobby, Mandy had attached herself to Tracy in a way he"d never seen her do with any other woman. Not that Mandy had much opportunity to become close to women outside of his family. Other than her babysitters and Deputy Dawn Madison, Mandy wasn"t around too many females.
With the worst of the dirt off her and on the washcloth, Mandy awakened enough to help him remove the dress and slip a nightgown over her head. He took her hand and led her into the bathroom across the hall where he helped her brush her teeth, then attempted to untangle her snarled hair with a brush.
Giving up on the hair, he carried her back to her bed and tucked the blankets around her small body. She yawned and folded her hands over her chest. With her eyes closed, she murmured the age-old bedtime prayer recited by children everywhere. "Now I lay me down to sleep..."
He sat on the edge of her bed and smiled as she asked G.o.d to take care of every member of her family, including her pony and horse.
"And let Momma know I love her, and me and Daddy miss her."
He prepared for the twist in his gut when she asked G.o.d to send her mother home soon.
"And finally, Baby Jesus, keep Miz Tracy and Bobby safe. Amen." She opened her eyes and smiled lazily up at him.
He swallowed past the thickness in his throat.
"I thought I should stop asking G.o.d to send Momma back to us, since I know now she can"t come home. It might make her sad because she can"t. But I thought it would be nice to add Miz Tracy and Bobby to my list."
His smile grew stiff. He remembered their conversion over the wedding dinner. The little wheels in Mandy"s head were working. She hadn"t included Tracy and Bobby into her prayer without considering possibilities Zack didn"t even want to think about.
"That"s nice. Bobby is your friend," he said past the dry tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth.
She yawned and shrugged under the hideously pink bedspread. The ruffle must have tickled her chin, because she pushed it away. "I like Miz Tracy, too. She"s your friend, isn"t she?"
Tracy and him friends...fat chance. He hoped he never had to deal with her again. "I suppose." He patted her covered chest. "Nighty-night, baby girl. I love you."
"Nighty-night, Daddy." She grinned at him. "I love you more."
He leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "I love you "til the cows come home," he whispered, and into her arms placed the stuffed bunny Lisa had given to her when she was a baby.