"All the praying in the world," he said, "has not saved us so far. It seems to me time--"
"Perhaps our Lord would not have us saved," she said; "as you mean it."
III
It was not until Christmas Eve that Marjorie went to St. Paul"s, for all that it was so close. But the days were taken up with the visitors; a hundred matters had to be arranged; for it was decided that before the New Year all were to be dispersed. Captain Fortescue and Robin were to leave again for the Continent on the day following Christmas Day itself.
Marjorie made acquaintance during these days with more than one meeting-place of the Catholics in London. One was a quiet little house near St. Bartholomew"s-the-Great, where a widow had three or four sets of lodgings, occupied frequently by priests and by other Catholics, who were best out of sight; and it was here that ma.s.s was to be said on Christmas Day. Another was in the Spanish Emba.s.sy; and here, to her joy, she looked openly upon a chapel of her faith, and from the gallery adored her Lord in the tabernacle. But even this was accomplished with an air of uneasiness in those round her; the Spanish priest who took them in walked quickly and interrupted them before they were done, and seemed glad to see the last of them. It was explained to Marjorie that the amba.s.sador did not wish to give causeless offence to the Protestant court.
And now, on Christmas Eve, Robin, Anthony and the two ladies entered the Cathedral as dusk was falling--first pa.s.sing through the burial-ground, over the wall of which leaned the rows of houses in whose windows lights were beginning to burn.
The very dimness of the air made the enormous heights of the great church more impressive. Before them stretched the long nave, over seven hundred feet from end to end; from floor to roof the eye travelled up the bunches of slender pillars to the dark ceiling, newly restored after the fire, a hundred and fifty feet. The tall windows on either side, and the clerestory lights above, glimmered faintly in the darkening light.
But to the Catholic eyes that looked on it the desolation was more apparent than the splendour. There were plenty of people here, indeed: groups moved up and down, talking, directing themselves more and more towards the exits, as the night was coming on and the church would be closed presently; in one aisle a man was talking aloud, as if lecturing, with a crowd of heads about him. In another a number of soberly dressed men were putting up their papers and ink on the little tables that stood in a row--this was Scriveners" Corner, she was told; from a third half a dozen persons were dejectedly moving away--these were servants that had waited to be hired. But the soul of the place was gone. When they came out into the transepts, Anthony stopped them with a gesture, while a couple of porters, carrying boxes on their heads, pushed by, on their short cut through the cathedral.
"It was there," he said, "that the altars stood."
He pointed between the pillars on either side, and there, up little raised steps, lay the floors of the chapels. But within all was empty, except for a tomb or two, some tattered colours and the _piscinae_ still in place. Where the altars had stood there were blank s.p.a.ces of wall; piled up in one such place were rows of wooden seats set there for want of room.
Opposite the entrance to the choir, where once overhead had hung the great Rood, the four stood and looked in, through a gap which the masons were mending in the high wall that had bricked off the chancel from the nave. On either side, as of old, still rose up the towering carven stalls; the splendid pavement still shone beneath, refracting back from its surface the glimmer of light from the stained windows above; but the head of the body was gone. Somewhere, beneath the deep shadowed altar screen, they could make out an erection that might have been an altar, only they knew that it was not. It was no longer the Stone of Sacrifice, whence the smoke of the mystical Calvary ascended day by day: it was the table, and no more, where bread and wine were eaten and drunk in memory of an event whose deathless energy had ceased, in this place, at least, to operate. Yet it was here, thought Marjorie, that only forty years ago, scarcely more than twenty years before she was born, on this very Night, the great church had hummed and vibrated with life. Round all the walls had sat priests, each in his place; and beside each kneeled a penitent, making ready for the joy of Bethlehem once again--wise and simple--Shepherds and Magi--yet all simple before the baffling and entrancing Mystery. There had been footsteps and voices there too--yet of men who were busy upon their Father"s affairs in their Father"s house, and not upon their own. They were going from altar to altar, speaking with their Friends at Court; and here, opposite where she stood and peeped in the empty cold darkness, there had burned lights before the Throne of Him Who had made Heaven and earth, and did His Father"s Will on earth as it was done in Heaven.... Forty years ago the life of this church was rising on this very night, with a hum as of an approaching mult.i.tude, from hour to hour, brightening and quickening as it came, up to the glory of the Midnight Ma.s.s, the crowded church, alight from end to end, the smell of bog and bay in the air, soon to be met and crowned by the savour of incense-smoke; and the world of spirit, too, quickened about them; and the angels (she thought) came down from Heaven, as men up from the City round about, to greet Him who is King of both angels and men.
And now, in this new England, the church, empty of the Divine Presence, was emptying, too, of its human visitors. She could hear great doors somewhere crash together, and the reverberation roll beneath the stone vaulting. It would empty soon, desolate and dark; and so it would be all night.... Why did not the very stones cry out?
Mistress Alice touched her on the arm.
"We must be going," she said. "They are closing the church."
IV
She had a long talk with Robin on Christmas night.
The day had pa.s.sed, making strange impressions on her, which she could not understand. Partly it was the contrast between the homely a.s.sociations of the Feast, begun, as it was for her, with the ma.s.s before dawn--the room at the top of the widow"s house was crowded all the while she was there--between these a.s.sociations and the unfamiliarity of the place. She had felt curiously apart from all that she saw that day in the streets--the patrolling groups, the singers, the monstrous-headed mummers (of whom companies went about all day), two or three glimpses of important City festivities, the garlands that decorated many of the houses. It seemed to her as a shadow-show without sense or meaning, since the heart of Christmas was gone. Partly, too, no doubt, it was the memory of a former Christmas, three years ago, when she had begun to understand that Robin loved her. And he was with her again; yet all that he had stood for, to her, was gone, and another significance had taken its place. He was nearer to her heart, in one manner, though utterly removed, in another. It was as when a friend was dead: his familiar presence is gone; but now that one physical barrier is vanished, his presence is there, closer than ever, though in another fashion....
Robin had come in to sup. Captain Fortescue would fetch him about nine o"clock, and the two were to ride for the coast before dawn.
The four sat quiet after supper, speaking in subdued voices, of hopes for the future, when England should be besieged, indeed, by the spiritual forces that were gathering overseas; but they slipped gradually into talk of the past and of Derbyshire, and of rides they remembered. Then, after a while, Anthony was called away; Mistress Alice moved back to the table to see her needlework the better, and Robin and Marjorie sat together by the fire.
He told her again of the journey from Rheims, of the inns where they lodged, of the extraordinary care that was taken, even in that Catholic land, that no rumour of the nature of the party should slip out, lest some gossip precede them or even follow them to the coast of England.
They carried themselves even there, he said, as ordinary gentlemen travelling together; two of them were supposed to be lawyers; he himself pa.s.sed as Mr. Ballard"s servant. They heard ma.s.s when they could in the larger towns, but even then not all together.
The landing in England had been easier, he said, than he had thought, though he had learned afterwards that a helpful young man, who had offered to show him to an inn in Folkestone, and in whose presence Mr.
Ballard had taken care to give him a good rating for dropping a bag--with loud oaths--was a well-known informer. However, no harm was done: Mr. Ballard"s admirable bearing, and his oaths in particular, had seemed to satisfy the young man, and he had troubled them no more.
Marjorie did not say much. She listened with a fierce attention, so much interested that she was scarcely aware of her own interest; she looked up, half betrayed into annoyance, when a placid laugh from Mistress Alice at the table showed that another was listening too.
She too, then, had to give her news, and to receive messages for the Derbyshire folk whom Robin wished to greet; and it was not until Mistress Alice slipped out of the room that she uttered a word of what she had been hoping all day she might have an opportunity to say.
"Mr. Audrey," she said (for she was careful to use this form of address), "I wish you to pray for me. I do not know what to do."
He was silent.
"At present," she said, gathering courage, "my duty is clear. I must be at home, for my mother"s sake, if for nothing else. And, as I told you, I think I shall be able to do something for priests. But if my mother died--"
"Yes?" he said, as she stopped again.
She glanced up at his serious, deep-eyed face, half in shadow and half in light, so familiar, and yet so utterly apart from the boy she had known.
"Well," she said, "I think of you as a priest already, and I can speak to you freely.... Well, I am not sure whether I, too, shall not go overseas, to serve G.o.d better."
"You mean--"
"Yes. A dozen or more are gone from Derbyshire, whose names I know. Some are gone to Bruges; two or three to Rome; two or three more to Spain. We women cannot do what priests can, but, at least, we can serve G.o.d in Religion."
She looked at him again, expecting an answer. She saw him move his head, as if to answer. Then he smiled suddenly.
"Well, however you look at me, I am not a priest.... You had best speak to one--Father Campion or another."
"But--"
"And I will pray for you," he said with an air of finality.
Then Mistress Alice came back.
She never forgot, all her life long, the little scene that took place when Captain Fortescue came in with Mr. Babington, to fetch Robin away.
Yet the whole of its vividness rose from its interior significance.
Externally here was a quiet parlour; two ladies--for the girl afterwards seemed to see herself in the picture--stood by the fireplace; Mistress Alice still held her needlework gathered up in one hand, and her spools of thread and a pin-cushion lay on the polished table. And the two gentlemen--for Captain Fortescue would not sit down, and Robin had risen at his entrance--the two gentlemen stood by it. They were not in their boots, for they were not to ride till morning; they appeared two ordinary gentlemen, each hat-in-hand, and Robin had his cloak across his arm. Anthony Babington stood in the shadow by the door, and, beyond him, the girl could see the face of d.i.c.k, who had come up to say good-bye again to his old master.
That was all--four men and two ladies. None raised his voice, none made a gesture. The home party spoke of the journey, and of their hopes that all would go well; the travellers, or rather the leader (for Robin spoke not one word, good or bad), said that he was sure it would be so; there was not one-tenth of the difficulty in getting out of England as of getting into it. Then, again, he said that it was late; that he had still one or two matters to arrange; that they must be out of London as soon as the gates opened. And the scene ended.
Robin bowed to the two ladies, precisely and courteously; making no difference between them, and wheeled and went out, and she saw d.i.c.k"s face, too, vanish from the door, and heard the voices of the two on the stairs. Marjorie returned the salute of Mr. Ballard, longing to entreat him to take good care of the boy, yet knowing that she must not and could not.
Then he, too, was gone, with Anthony to see him downstairs; and Marjorie, without a word, went straight through to her room, fearing to trust her own voice, for she felt that her heart was gone with them.
Yet, not for one moment did even her sensitive soul distrust any more the nature of the love that she bore to the lad.
But Mistress Alice sat down again to her sewing.
CHAPTER V