"I know you didn"t mean it in a bad way but I really don"t want anyone"s pity," Ava said.
"But all of these years you"ve dreamed of your wedding. Good Lord, Ava, you"ve taken me through every detail for years." Emmie gave her a mock groan in an attempt to make her best friend smile. She was relieved when it worked.
"I dreamt of what I knew. At that time all I knew was a wedding. I thought a wedding was romance and love. I was wrong." Ava shrugged and ran her fingers down the length of her dress. "Don"t get me wrong. I"m going to enjoy this little wedding and I love my dress but it"s not the wedding I"m pining for anymore. It"s the life with Gabe. Sleeping with him each night. Seeing him rock our sweet baby." Ava rested her hand on her stomach. "A dream changes with life Emmie. Sometimes we don"t know what we want until we see it. Everything else was just smoke and mirrors."
Emmie had no idea what to say. That was the wisest thing she"d ever heard come from Ava"s mouth. She stood and joined her friend in front of the large window that overlooked the lawn. She wrapped her arms around Ava in a tight sisterly hug.
"You are an amazing lady," Emmie whispered.
"I"ve had had a good model, my friend," Ava said softly.
Chapter Twenty-eight.
Emmie"s eyelids were heavy and dropping closed as she finished the last st.i.tch on Ava"s wedding dress. She had carried this dress around for days like a toddler with a blanket, determined to finish it before she went to bed. She had no other alternative. Ava couldn"t get married in an unfinished dress. Tomorrow was Ava"s wedding day. Ava had spent nearly all day with her mother finalizing preparations. Emmie had spent all day with the dress. Her stomach churned at the thought of seeing Gabe"s family tomorrow. That was going to be awkward. At least Silas would be with her.
She stood and moved across the room, draping Ava"s dress across a fainting couch in the corner of the room. She smoothed it gently to work out some of the creases and wrinkles. A long loud yawn escaped her as she moved back to the bed. Never in her whole entire life had a bed looked so inviting. She hadn"t been sleeping well, but she was so tired she didn"t think that would be an issue tonight. Slipping off her dress she realized she had left her nightgown hanging in Ava"s bathroom that morning after her bath. There was no way she was redressing and walking down the hall to her friend"s room for a nightgown. Her slip would work just fine. There were quilts enough on this bed to keep her warm. Emmie closed her eyes and fell asleep before her head hit the pillow.
"Rise and shine, Emmie," a soft, deep voice called near her ear.
A throaty laugh filled her mind. Silas. She was dreaming of him. Her lips curved into a smile and she tilted her head toward the sound. Velvet warmth touched her temple and her ear.
"Emmie, Emmie. Wake up," the second voice was loud, high pitched, and distinctly excited. She frowned. Ava was in her dream too. No, that was no good.
Frigid winter air hit her skin as the covers jerked back. Emmie"s heart pounded. She popped open her eyes and screamed.
A hand covered her mouth. She panicked. It was black as night in her room and she couldn"t see anything. The feeling of the hand covering her mouth brought back a dark memory that she"d worked hard to let go. Her hands came up and clawed at the fingers covering her mouth. The hand moved and framed her face gently.
"I"m sorry, baby. It"s just me. Wake up. It"s just me. I didn"t want you waking Ava"s parents. I didn"t mean to scare you." Silas rubbed her cheek as he spoke.
Nightmares of the past floated away like dust in the wind as she felt Silas rubbing his wide hand across her cheek.
"Come on, Emmie. Put your clothes on; we"re in a hurry. Oh, I simply cannot wait. Thank you, Silas. You are just the best." Ava danced around the room tossing dresses, shoes, scarves, and hats toward Emmie.
Bewildered, Emmie turned her eyes toward the window. It was the middle of the night. She probably hadn"t been asleep more than a couple hours. Emmie was tired and curious enough about what was going on that she started dressing before she even had the details of the situation. Ava didn"t seem panicked. Silas was smiling. If there was nothing wrong why were they here? She paused, reaching for the b.u.t.ton on the sleeve of her dress.
"Why in the world are the two of you making me get dressed in the middle of the night?" she asked, looking back and forth at the two of them. Her voice was thick with sleep.
Silas opened his mouth to answer but Ava cut him off.
"Just get those clothes on. Don"t forget a hat and scarf. It"s a cold night. Hurry," Ava whisper-shouted.
Emmie turned to Silas with an arched eyebrow. He b.u.t.toned her sleeve and pulled a thick wool scarf around her neck. "She"s right. It is cold."
They didn"t put on their shoes until they reached the back door. For the first time Emmie noticed that even Silas had only worn his socks in the house. When they reached the back lawn she asked, "Will someone please tell me why we are sneaking out of the house like a bunch of kids in the middle of the night?"
Ava looped her hand through her friend"s crooked elbow and smiled. "Old Man Dan"s is frozen, and I get to see my Gabe."
Emmie heard the words, but the two ideas didn"t connect in her mind. Silas laughed at Ava"s explanation but offered no words of his own. He put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her in close. Emmie walked, flanked by her best friend and the man that meant the most to her in the world. The air was cold. The ground was frozen. However, her heart had never felt warmer. They followed the lake behind the house for a few yards until they reached a fencerow lined with trees. Silas let go of her, picked up Ava, and sat her down easily on the other side of the fence. When he turned around to Emmie she was already stepping up onto the bottom slat of the black wooden fence, her hands gripped tightly to a thick post. He caught her under her legs and pulled her weight into his body.
"I"ll take care of you." He grinned as he plopped her down on the ground and steadied her on the other side. His long legs and agile body made quick work of hopping the fence.
"Silas, do you not think me capable of climbing over that tiny excuse of a barrier?" She poked his rib and laughed.
"Oh, I know you are capable. If you had on those pants of yours I probably would have let you do it too . . . and enjoyed it. But we are in a hurry and you have on a dress," he said, looping his arm around her shoulder again.
She smacked his arm playfully and laughed.
"You have a pair of pants, Emmie?" Ava asked curiously. "What kind of pants and how does Silas know about them and I don"t?"
"It"s a long story. I made them to wear with Bo in the woods and it turned into this big deal. Silas has an odd affection for Ronnie"s old tailored denim pants," she said, laughing.
"Yes, tightly tailored denim," Silas added.
"Emma Rose, how scandalous," Ava laughed. It was good to see her in such good spirits.
"I had no idea old work denim could be so scandalous, but apparently it is," Emmie laughed.
Silas stopped as they pa.s.sed through a wooded area. He turned again and pointed for the girls to look ahead. In the distance Emmie could make out about six small flames. The fires formed a large circle. She could barely hear the voices of the people gathered around them. She frowned and looked at Silas, but it was Ava who spoke first.
"He"s already there, right?" she called, walking faster. She was already several feet ahead of them.
"Yes. Gabe, Trick, Jemma, and a few of your friends should already be there," Silas said.
Emmie turned to Silas. "We"re meeting everyone in a field in the middle of the night?"
"No, we are meeting them at an ice rink in the middle of the night."
"And you think the Johnson barn parties are strange? At least it"s not freezing in the barn." Emmie laughed and turned to follow Ava.
"Oh, don"t worry sweetheart, we"ve got ways to keep warm." He reached his arm out and pulled her back into his chest.
Emmie felt his lips on her neck, leaving a soft wet trail of kisses. His warm breath traveled slowly from her neck to her ear. His arm tightened at her waist pulling her as close as their layers of clothing would allow. Silas spun her around. He watched the distance behind her for a moment; she turned to see what had captured his attention. Out of her peripheral vision she vaguely caught sight of Ava joining the others. How sweet that he had watched to see that she made it to them. She opened her mouth to tell him so but never got the chance. She felt the leather of Silas"s glove on her chin. He pulled her face back to face him. His grip was firm and strong. As his eyes bore into hers he walked her backward a little deeper into the woods, so they were out of eyesight from the others. Her heart pounded in her chest at the sight of him coming toward her. She stepped backward until she reached the heavy base of a large tree. She felt the bark sc.r.a.pe her back through her coat. His mouth met hers with a force she hadn"t felt from him in a long time. Maybe since that day in her kitchen when she"d worn the pants they discussed earlier. He kissed her until her lips were numb. His hands rooted in her hair and pulled her nearer to him. Silas pulled away only an inch or two and licked his lips. He ran a hand under her coat, touched the silky material of her dress and rubbed his hands gently along her ribs.
He swallowed hard. "How do they feel?"
Emmie had a hard time finding her voice. She only nodded to indicate she was nearly pain free.
"You promise me this doesn"t hurt," he said, lifting her until her heels barely left the ground.
"I"m good," were the only words she could form.
Silas licked his lips again then applied more pressure, lifting her a little higher. Even if it hurt, she would have never told him. Some things were worth the pain. He picked her up higher off the ground and balanced her against the tree. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her hand weaved through his dark hair. His kiss was so urgent, so eager. There was a fire in him tonight.
Two minutes, twenty minutes, two hundred minutes. She couldn"t say how long he"d kissed her. But when they separated it felt like too soon. She leaned in for one last kiss. He obliged and laughed.
"Are you all warmed up?" he asked with a devilish grin.
Emmie smoothed her hair down. She attempted to calm her rapidly beating heart and her trembling limbs before she said, "I think my insides have melted."
Silas leaned his head back and laughed.
A quiet moment surrounded them again as Silas wrapped her in his arms. He leaned back and looked at her. She was surprised to see him look so serious when she pulled away.
"What"s wrong?"
"Emmie, do you like it here?" he asked.
"Yeah, it"s a little cold but you"ve taken care of that," she said, making an attempt at a joke. It came up a little short.
"No, I mean here. Near Ava"s family and mine. Here in Chicago," he said.
"Yeah." Emmie nodded, thinking aloud as she answered the question, "I like it. I mean it"s not home but it"s nice here."
Silas"s face fell. He looked down at the ground and nodded.
"What? What did I say? I like it here."
He gave her a smile but it didn"t quite reach his eyes. "Nothing, I just wondered is all. Come on, they"ll be anxious if we don"t show up soon."
With that he grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the clearing. In silence they walked together, down the path and toward the fires.
Chapter Twenty-nine.
Emmie had never before seen two people so happy to see one another. Gabe and Ava were alone, away from the others. They were standing about ten feet from the small fire on the far side of the rink. She saw Gabe rest his hand on her abdomen as he said something. Emmie turned away from them. Their moment was too private to watch, but her heart warmed for Ava. Of course it was silly for them to be out here sneaking around when tomorrow Ava will give the rest of her life to him, but Emmie also thought it was romantic. She turned to Silas as something dawned on her.
"You set up this whole party just so Ava could see Gabe?" she asked.
Silas nodded and shrugged. "It"s no big deal. We would have met here sooner or later anyway. It"s a tradition." He pointed to the right. "See the house way off in the distance? It"s dark but if you look closely you can just see the smoke coming from a couple chimneys."
She frowned and squinted in the darkness. After a moment she could just see the darker outline of a house. Emmie thought it looked more like a mansion than a house. She looked back at him confused.
"It"s Old Man Dan"s house. He built this rink when we were teens for his grandchildren but they rarely come around. He keeps it ready for them though just in case. We sneak out here but part of me thinks he knows. I"ve only met him a time or two. He"s practically a hermit, the way he keeps to himself in that house," Silas explained.
"It"s a tradition to come out to some ice rink in this old man"s field and freeze your rear off in the middle of the night?" Emmie teased, trying to make him smile.
He did give her a crooked grin as he spoke but it didn"t quite meet his eyes. "Do you need a warm up again?"
Emmie laughed. She wished he didn"t look so tense. He"d been so relaxed a few minutes ago. She went back over their last conversation in her mind. I like it but it"s not home . . . That"s what she"d told him. Sometimes words flew out of her mouth before she had the chance to think of their meaning.
Emmie looked up at Silas. He was taking something from Trick. Some sort of black shoes. When she looked down at Trick"s feet she noticed he had on the same strange boots. He squeezed her shoulder after pa.s.sing off the boots.
"You giving it a try?" Trick asked with a grin so wide that showed his dimples.
Emmie looked back out to the rink. Nearly everyone was making their way out on the ice. Men, women-they were all wearing the same shoes. They were ice skating. She"d heard Ava mention it but she"d never seen a pair of the crazy shoes.
"Umm. I don"t have any of those shoes," she answered him. They both knew she was just making excuses. Sliding face first across a cold sheet of ice was not on her to-do list tonight.
"Surely, our little ball of trouble hasn"t become a scaredy-cat on us?" Trick shouted as he stepped onto the ice.
She watched the people glide along the rink. Their balance was amazing. A few of the boys were showing off, jumping, turning, and skating backward. The girls were holding their own. Emmie spotted Jemma turning in close circles like a dancer. It was amazing. There was one person out there wobbling but the rest made it look easy.
"I wouldn"t call it scared. I"d call it knowing your limitations," she answered.
Trick laughed to himself as he skated away from them toward a group of guys near the center of the rink. Emmie turned to face Silas. He was tying up his last skate. As he rose to his full height he seemed ma.s.sive. The blades on the bottom of the skates gave him an even greater height advantage and he towered over her.
He took his coat off and laid it on a blanket. He was wearing a charcoal colored sweater. In all the time Emmie had known him she had never seen him wear anything but dress clothes. It fitted tightly to his body, showing the curves of his shoulders and arms. She reached out and touched the wool.
"Silas you"re gonna freeze," she said, forcing herself to look away from his arms and chest.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek before whispering, "I"m still feeling warm but if I get cold, I know where to find you." As he pulled away he gave her a devilish grin.
Emmie felt herself blush from her toes to her hair.
"Put those on. My girl runs moonshine. She isn"t scared of a little ice." He pointed toward the blanket.
When Emmie looked down she saw a small pair of skates. Her heart pounded at the thought of stepping on the ice in those torture contraptions.
"No, I"m perfectly fine watching right here by this warm fire," she said, shaking her head. "You go have a good time with your friends."
Silas walked over to her, grabbed her hands, and pulled her to the blanket. He gently pushed her down to the ground and knelt down in front of her. His hands wrapped around her calf and slid down her leg, pulling off her shoes. He repeated the same slow removal of her other shoe. She was pretty sure this wasn"t supposed to make her warm but that didn"t change the fact that it did. The only other time Silas had ever touched her legs like this . . .
Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his laughter. "What are you thinking about Emmie?"
"Nothing," she replied too quickly.
He finished tying her skate and helped her stand. The minute she came to her full height her ankle buckled under her. Silas helped her find balance again.
"If I can"t even stand here on the frozen ground, how do you expect me to stand on that ice rink?" she asked. "People aren"t supposed to walk on water, Silas."
"Trust me," he said, pulling her to the rink"s edge.