Chapter 262


Here, a little distance away from the palace, there was a suffocating atmosphere .


Walking up the stairs, we were greeted by the sight of a room surrounded by a metal cage .


“This is the place, Iris . ”


There was a woman standing where Lady Letticia pointed .


I inhaled sharply at the sight of her .


Of course she still looked like herself, but in another way she was completely different .


Skinny, dry-haired, dull skin, and eyes red from crying that just stared upwards .


“It’s been a long time, Lady Yuri . ”


Considering I couldn’t show my shock through my voice, I purposefully spoke to her in a calm tone .


“It’s been a while, Lady Iris . ”


She chuckled, looking at me .


“Why did you summon me?”


“Nothing . I just wanted to see you before I died . ”


Her cold gaze and smile was something I’d never seen before, but it didn’t seem out of the ordinary on her face .


Finally she was showing her true colors .


“Are you satisfied then?”


I smiled sarcastically too .


“Who knows…it’s a little less interesting than I thought it would be . ”


“Ah, this really is…”


Why the h.e.l.l did you call me here then? I didn’t ask the question on my mind .


“Then can you let me ask you a few questions?”


She didn’t confirm or deny, so I took that as acceptance .


“Did you ever love Prince Edward?”


“What’s the use in knowing that?”


“Just curiosity . ”


The moment I said that, she smiled .


Her face was full of contempt for me as she opened her mouth wide .


She looked almost scary, sending chills down my spine .


“What are you saying? You don’t want to admit someone you’ve loved was stolen by a woman who just wanted to use him?”


Well, look who suddenly became a lot more talkative .


“You already know the answer to that . I worked on behalf of the Towair Kingdom to engulf this country in chaos, attacking the highest n.o.bility in this nation . ”


“Yes, that has become clear now . ”


“How does that make you feel? He died to protect me, saying he died for the person he loved . He loved me . How does it feel to force him into engagement without really earning his love? You must be resentful . Hate me now…”


Her words were sharp .


But it felt like she wasn’t hurting me with her words . She was hurting herself .


“Tell me you’re resentful…tell me you hate me!”


She grabbed onto the bars of the cage .


We were close enough to touch each other .


“It’s like you’re saying you love him . ”


She raised her head suddenly in response .


“Ha? What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?”


Her condescending att.i.tude made me laugh .


“Am I wrong? What you said was basically a confession of love . That’s what it sounded like to me . ”


She didn’t respond to what I said .


I a.s.sumed she would respond with more verbal attacks to deny this, no matter what the truth was .


I stared at her . And then tears began to flow from her eyes .


She really did love him .


Any words were less convincing than her current state .


“W-what are you saying, I don’t understand . ”


She lowered her head .


Although I had been staring at her for a while, she didn’t seem inclined to budge at all .


“I’ve never been resentful . Our engagement was something from the past . Our paths diverged then . No matter what happened to him from then on was not something I needed to know . ”


When I said that she raised her head to glare at me .


“Plus, Prince Edward selected you, the one whom he loved the most . No matter what you think about it, he protected the person he loved . He died happy . Out of mourning, it’s impossible to hate someone on behalf of not loving him . ”


“Your expression of understanding is obnoxious . ”


I cracked half a smile at her bitter words .


“Even if you find it obnoxious…”


“Ever since you were born, you’ve had everything! Money, status, people surrounding you . I hate you!”


Screaming, she shook the cages so hard they groaned like they were crying .


“And so you attack me?”


“Hmph…it felt really good . ”


She smiled happily . It was a dark smile .


“Is that so . ”


Thinking about the fact that this rationale was enough for her to pick on me like that, I felt the heat of anger rise in my chest .


Frustrations differed by person and look so completely unusual to anyone on the outside .


Even knowing that, I couldn’t forgive completely as the victim of the situation .


“How are you different from me? I’m also beautiful, I’m also capable of gathering the hearts of others! To prove that, Prince Edward chose me! So why am I here now…”


Her screeching broke the last thread maintaining my rationality .


I raised my hand like I was going to slap her in the face .


But even so, the cage between us made it impossible to reach her .


In contrast, my hand struck the cage and ached immensely .


The cage rattled, as if crying out on my behalf .


What the h.e.l.l was she doing…I’m sure everyone around me wore that expression . Even Yuri looked dumbfounded . My heart hurt more than my hand .


“If I were the one to comment on it, I’d have to say I’m completely different from you . ”


“What? Your position in society? Or your luck?”


“Who the h.e.l.l is going to talk about something like that? You only kept people around you to use them . I trust the people in my life . ”


“What’s the difference!”


Without hesitation I burst out laughing .


It seems like this only aggravated her suffering . Her glare at me became even sharper .


“Do you understand what I’m talking about? When you use someone, you abandon them easily whenever they’re causing you inconvenience . People who still approach you under those circ.u.mstances aren’t interested in placing their trust in you . They want to use you too . ”


Somehow those words shut her up .


Seems like I was right on .


“Trust means believing in them and relying on them . You should only rely on people if you trust them . Trustworthy people are not replaceable in my life . If something happens, I’ll risk everything to protect them! So don’t you dare compare us . ”


Because I was crying out in rage, my breathing became uneven .


When I took a deep breath to calm myself, she spoke quietly .


“Why…”


Her voice was so quiet I didn’t hear it over the sound of my own breathing .


“Why can you trust? After everything’s happened to you, you shouldn’t be able to trust anyone anymore . ”


“Do you mean the engagement? Or the merchants’ guild? Or…”


“Everything . But if I had to pick one, the engagement . The feeling of being thoroughly rejected by someone you love, and even your family turning against you . ”


Her question was one I’d asked myself countless times . But somehow the question was almost humorous coming from her .


“Yes . I did become afraid to trust . But my companions from the past have responded to me by saying it’s okay, that they’ll stay with me no matter what . It’s brought me out of my fearfulness . ”


I had been afraid of trusting and then being betrayed again .


My heart had been wounded so deeply .


Because I was afraid of others seeing my weakness, I pretended to be fine .


The people who tore that facade down was everyone I’d trusted since childhood and Dean .


“I still fear people now, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing to trust . If I were paralyzed by the fear of trusting others, I’d be forgetting everything I went through with the important people in my life, when a little courage was enough to give me so much . ”


I gazed at Tanya while I said this . She smiled proudly in response .


“But you might be betrayed again…?”


“Yes . It might happen . But living in fear of that means not moving forward . If you’re looking past beautiful things for the sake of fear, you’re only missing out . Plus, this world is not so gentle that people can live without getting hurt . The only thing you can do when you’re hurt is to keep living, keep surviving . ”


“…Yes . ”


She laughed out loud as she said that .


It was almost like a demon leaving her body .


“In the end, I really do hate you after all . ”


I couldn’t help but laugh too .


“I don’t like you either . ”


“That’s right . If you ever said you didn’t dislike me that would frankly be disgusting to me . ”


“You’re right . ”


We both smiled .


“Hey…Iris, what does it mean to love someone?”


“Who knows . It’s something you can’t explain . But if you feel like that person’s more special than anyone else…no matter what form that affection takes, I think that’s love . ”


“Special…indeed . ”


Her face, looking like it was about to burst into tears, twisting into a smile instead .


“I’m an idiot . When I lost him, that’s when I realized he was something special to me . ”


“You’re right . You are an idiot . ”


I was still smiling . But thanks to her, I almost wanted to cry too .


“There were so many opportunities for me to communicate that to him . But now it’s too late . I am, we really are idiots . ”


When I said this, her eyes went wide .


“I’m not talking about Prince Edward . Of course, I mourn his death too . ”


“What are you mourning?”


Her voice trembled when she asked .


“For Prince Edward?”


She nodded quietly .


“Even if it’s someone you hated from the bottom of your heart, you can’t keep hating them after they die . Instead of bottling up your hatred, you might as well remember your good memories together . It’s better for the people who survive . That’s what my subordinate told me . Although I hated him from the bottom of my heart when he was alive, we had good memories too . Right now that means I can only pray for him . ”


Her tears spilled forth .


“I thought no one else in this world would still grieve him, after Queen Ellia and Marquis Maelia pa.s.sed . And I…”


“I will mourn him . Also, there might still be more people out there that you don’t know of who are mourning him . Humans are complex . We aren’t just single-sided . ”


“Is that so…that’s great . I hope his name isn’t just something to mock . ”


Watching her cry as she said this, I almost felt my tears flowing out too .


That’s how she loved him in the end .


She feared his name being a.s.sociated with evil .


Instead of thinking about herself, she cared more for his reputation . If that wasn’t love, what was it?


“Iris, you should go home . Your majesty, I’ll tell you everything . ”


When she finally managed to stop her tears, her expression was determined .


“I see . It was good to see you, Lady Yuri . ”


I had nothing more to say now .


“Good to see you, Lady Iris . ”


She smiled gently . It was a smile from her past .


And with that I left .

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