Chapter 109 A secret meeting at night part 2
“What about you, making that expression? What, do you want to be complained about by some n.o.ble? Or are you unhappy about receiving the strict instruction of the senior maid once more?”
“Are you going to say that in front of her?”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
He laughed out loud while I sighed.
“No, not because of that…it’s just that I’m a bit troubled.”
“Whatever you’re being troubled about…either way, it must have something to do with the mistress.”
“What do you mean, ‘either way’?”
I glared at him, while he laughed, “Ah, sorry, what a disrespectful thing for me to say.” Seeing his reaction, I realized that what I was doing was letting out my frustration at him, so I sighed again.
“…Well, you’re not wrong. What I’m thinking about does have to do with milady.”
“…has something gone wrong with her?”
His voice and expression immediately became serious.
Seeing that, I felt at ease–to this man, milady was of ma.s.sive important.
“You should have sensed it as well? The longer she stays in the capital, the worse she seems to look and feel.”
“That’s true.”
Dida nodded with a bitter smile.
“Because she has to keep her guard up, it’s no wonder that she’s becoming like that. But at the same time, I’m unhappy that we’re so helpless in this regard. As you say, there’s a ma.s.sive, insurmountable power blocking me off…I think I’ve been too confident in my abilities up to this point.”
As those words came out of my mouth, a heavy, bitter sensation began to spread in my chest. I couldn’t help but mock myself.
“Yes–well, so what? Everyone has something that they should do, their area of specialty.”
“I understand that. But I can’t do anything…”
An irreplaceable territory. Before me there was a wall that I could never cross. Because I understood this, I was in pain.
“No, you don’t understand. For example, my specialty is being milady’s protector. My body is a wall, and protecting her is my mission, my specialty…in that specialty, I won’t lose to anyone. I won’t step down for anyone. Even if I were facing off against you.”
I didn’t understand…yes, as I was denied power, the fury of helplessness filled my heart as I glared at Dida.
But what he said next made me relinquish all possibility of retorting.
“Well then, where is your specialty? Yours is accompanying her, helping her in her work. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t make delicious red tea, couldn’t help her get dressed, couldn’t coordinate her schedule, let alone help with her work.”
“That…I can’t say for sure, but you’re not wrong.”
“I know you work hard. You learned self-defense from Master, learned the fundamentals of work from Mr. Sebastian…I know you’re working on expanding your specialty tirelessly. And of course, it’s good that this will be useful for our mistress. But isn’t it also good that each human is limited in how much they can expand their specialty? If she thinks that these are your duties, that means she’s handed a very important part of her own duties to you. And you’ve responded to outside requests and have deepened your skills within your own specialty as much as you possibly can.”
Dida gulped down all the wine remaining in his cup.
“Am I wrong in saying that?”
“…No, not at all…”
I felt like something blunt had hit my head.
I wasn’t too confident, but too proud.
Just like Ryle and Dida keep improving their protective abilities, Merida keeps improving her culinary skills, and Rehme keeps expanding her knowledge base.
Sei, Moneda as well, keep working hard to complete their duties.
Everyone is working hard at the duties they’ve been given, working at the specialty they possess.
“So what you’re saying is that if we can’t control certain things, we should just try to support milady however we can?”
I also poured the rest of my wine down my throat.
“…Yes. To calm her spirits, I’ll do my best to accompany her, be by her side.”
This was different from the self-hatred of earlier.
I also had my pride.
Just like Dida said he wouldn’t step away from his duties as a guard, I also had my duties to attend to.
“See, that’s the expression we all know and love!”
Saying this, Dida laughed out loud as usual.