As she remained silent and cold as ice, he begged of her, implored of her to listen to him, to trust him, to follow his advice.
When he had finished speaking, she only replied:
"Are you disposed to let me go away now? Take away your hands, so that I may rise to my feet."
"Look here, Irene."
"Will you let me go?"
"Irene-is your resolution irrevocable?"
"Will you let me go."
"Tell me only whether this resolution, this mad resolution of yours, which you will bitterly regret, is irrevocable?"
"Yes-let me go!"
"Then stay. You know well that you are at home here. We shall go away to-morrow morning."
She rose to her feet in spite of him, and said in a hard tone:
"No. It is too late. I do not want sacrifice; I do not want devotion."
"Stay! I have done what I ought to do; I have said what I ought to say. I have no further responsibility on your behalf. My conscience is at peace. Tell me what you want me to do, and I will obey.""
She resumed her seat, looked at him for a long time, and then asked, in a very calm voice:
"Well, then, explain."
"Explain what? What do you wish me to explain?"
"Everything-everything that you thought about before changing your mind. Then I will see what I ought to do."
"But I thought about nothing at all. I had to warn you that you were going to commit an act of folly. You persist; then I ask to share in this act of folly, and I even insist on it."
"It is not natural to change one"s mind so quickly."
"Listen, my dear love. It is not a question here of sacrifice or devotion. On the day when I realized that I loved you, I said to myself what every lover ought to say to himself in the same case: "The man who loves a woman, who makes an effort to win her, who gets her, and who takes her, enters into a sacred contract with himself and with her. That is, of course, in dealing with a woman like you, not a woman with a fickle heart and easily impressed."
"Marriage which has a great social value, a great legal value, possesses in my eyes only a very slight moral value, taking into account the conditions under which it generally takes place.
"Therefore, when a woman, united by this lawful bond, but having no attachment to her husband, whom she cannot love, a woman whose heart is free, meets a man whom she cares for, and gives herself to him, when a man who has no other tie, takes a woman in this way, I say that they pledge themselves toward each other by this mutual and free agreement much more than by the "Yes" uttered in the presence of the mayor.
"I say that, if they are both honorable persons, their union must be more intimate, more real, more wholesome, than if all the sacraments had consecrated it.
"This woman risks everything. And it is exactly because she knows it, because she gives everything, her heart, her body, her soul, her honor, her life, because she has foreseen all miseries, all dangers all catastrophes, because she dares to do a bold act, an intrepid act, because she is prepared, determined to brave everything-her husband, who might kill her, and society, which may cast her out. This is why she is worthy of respect in the midst of her conjugal infidelity; this is why her lover, in taking her, should also foresee everything, and prefer her to every one else whatever may happen. I have nothing more to say. I spoke in the beginning like a sensible man whose duty it was to warn you; and now I am only a man-a man who loves you-Command, and I obey."
Radiant, she closed his mouth with a kiss, and said in a low tone:
"It is not true, darling! There is nothing the matter! My husband does not suspect anything. But I wanted to see, I wanted to know, what you would do I wished for a New Year"s gift-the gift of your heart-another gift besides the necklace you sent me. You have given it to me. Thanks! thanks! G.o.d be thanked for the happiness you have given me!"
FRIEND PATIENCE
What became of Leremy?"
"He is captain in the Sixth Dragoons."
"And Pinson?"
"He"s a subprefect."
"And Racollet?"
"Dead."
We were searching for other names which would remind us of the youthful faces of our younger days. Once in a while we had met some of these old comrades, bearded, bald, married, fathers of several children, and the realization of these changes had given us an unpleasant shudder, reminding us how short life is, how everything pa.s.ses away, how everything changes. My friend asked me:
"And Patience, fat Patience?"
I almost, howled:
"Oh! as for him, just listen to this. Four or five years ago I was in Limoges, on a tour of inspection, and I was waiting for dinner time. I was seated before the big cafe in the Place du Theatre, just bored to death. The tradespeople were coming by twos, threes or fours, to take their absinthe or vermouth, talking all the time of their own or other people"s business, laughing loudly, or lowering their voices in order to impart some important or delicate piece of news.
"I was saying to myself: "What shall I do after dinner?" And I thought of the long evening in this provincial town, of the slow, dreary walk through unknown streets, of the impression of deadly gloom which these provincial people produce on the lonely traveller, and of the whole oppressive atmosphere of the place.
"I was thinking of all these things as I watched the little jets of gas flare up, feeling my loneliness increase with the falling shadows.
"A big, fat man sat down at the next table and called in a stentorian voice:
""Waiter, my bitters!"
"The "my" came out like the report of a cannon. I immediately understood that everything was his in life, and not another"s; that he had his nature, by Jove, his appet.i.te, his trousers, his everything, his, more absolutely and more completely than anyone else"s. Then he looked round him with a satisfied air. His bitters were brought, and he ordered:
""My newspaper!"
"I wondered: "Which newspaper can his be?" The t.i.tle would certainly reveal to me his opinions, his theories, his principles, his hobbies, his weaknesses.
"The waiter brought the Temps. I was surprised. Why the Temps, a serious, sombre, doctrinaire, impartial sheet? I thought:
""He must be a serious man with settled and regular habits; in short, a good bourgeois."
"He put on his gold-rimmed spectacles, leaned back before beginning to read, and once more glanced about him. He noticed me, and immediately began to stare at me in an annoying manner. I was even going to ask the reason for this attention, when he exclaimed from his seat:
""Well, by all that"s holy, if this isn"t Gontran Lardois."