"I tried to awaken his master"s sympathy, so that he should look after him, offering to pay him for doing so. The innkeeper, finally surprised, said, very wisely: "All that you do for him, monsieur, will only help to destroy him. He must be kept like a prisoner. As soon as he has any spare time, or any comfort, he becomes wicked. If you wish to do good, there is no lack of abandoned children, but select one who will appreciate your attention."
"What could I say?
"If I allowed the slightest suspicion of the doubts that tortured me to escape, this idiot would a.s.suredly become cunning, in order to blackmail me, to compromise me and ruin me. He would call out "papa," as in my dream.
"And I said to myself that I had killed the mother and lost this atrophied creature, this larva of the stable, born and raised amid the manure, this man who, if brought up like others, would have been like others.
"And you cannot imagine what a strange, embarra.s.sed and intolerable feeling comes over me when he stands before me and I reflect that he came from myself, that he belongs to me through the intimate bond that links father and son, that, thanks to the terrible law of heredity, he is my own self in a thousand ways, in his blood and his flesh, and that he has even the same germs of disease, the same leaven of emotions.
"I have an incessant restless, distressing longing to see him, and the sight of him causes me intense suffering, as I look down from my window and watch him for hours removing and carting the horse manure, saying to myself: "That is my son."
"And I sometimes feel an irresistible longing to embrace him. I have never even touched his dirty hand."
The academician was silent. His companion, a tactful man, murmured: "Yes, indeed, we ought to take a closer interest in children who have no father."
A gust of wind pa.s.sing through the tree shook its yellow cl.u.s.ters, enveloping in a fragrant and delicate mist the two old men, who inhaled in the fragrance with deep breaths.
The senator added: "It is good to be twenty-five and even to have children like that."
THAT PIG OF A MORIN
"Here, my friend," I said to Labarbe, "you have just repeated those five words, that pig of a Morin. Why on earth do I never hear Morin"s name mentioned without his being called a pig?"
Labarbe, who is a deputy, looked at me with his owl-like eyes and said: "Do you mean to say that you do not know Morin"s story and you come from La Roch.e.l.le?" I was obliged to declare that I did not know Morin"s story, so Labarbe rubbed his hands and began his recital.
"You knew Morin, did you not, and you remember his large linen-draper"s shop on the Quai de la Roch.e.l.le?"
"Yes, perfectly."
"Well, then. You must know that in 1862 or "63 Morin went to spend a fortnight in Paris for pleasure; or for his pleasures, but under the pretext of renewing his stock, and you also know what a fortnight in Paris means to a country shopkeeper; it fires his blood. The theatre every evening, women"s dresses rustling up against you and continual excitement; one goes almost mad with it. One sees nothing but dancers in tights, actresses in very low dresses, round legs, fat shoulders, all nearly within reach of one"s hands, without daring, or being able, to touch them, and one scarcely tastes food. When one leaves the city one"s heart is still all in a flutter and one"s mind still exhilarated by a sort of longing for kisses which tickles one"s lips.
"Morin was in that condition when he took his ticket for La Roch.e.l.le by the eight-forty night express. As he was walking up and down the waiting-room at the station he stopped suddenly in front of a young lady who was kissing an old one. She had her veil up, and Morin murmured with delight: "By Jove what a pretty woman!"
"When she had said "good-by" to the old lady she went into the waiting-room, and Morin followed her; then she went on the platform and Morin still followed her; then she got into an empty carriage, and he again followed her. There were very few travellers on the express. The engine whistled and the train started. They were alone. Morin devoured her with his eyes. She appeared to be about nineteen or twenty and was fair, tall, with a bold look. She wrapped a railway rug round her and stretched herself on the seat to sleep.
"Morin asked himself: "I wonder who she is?" And a thousand conjectures, a thousand projects went through his head. He said to himself: "So many adventures are told as happening on railway journeys that this may be one that is going to present itself to me. Who knows? A piece of good luck like that happens very suddenly, and perhaps I need only be a little venturesome. Was it not Danton who said: "Audacity, more audacity and always audacity"? If it was not Danton it was Mirabeau, but that does not matter. But then I have no audacity, and that is the difficulty. Oh! If one only knew, if one could only read people"s minds! I will bet that every day one pa.s.ses by magnificent opportunities without knowing it, though a gesture would be enough to let me know her mind."
"Then he imagined to himself combinations which conducted him to triumph. He pictured some chivalrous deed or merely some slight service which he rendered her, a lively, gallant conversation which ended in a declaration.
"But he could find no opening, had no pretext, and he waited for some fortunate circ.u.mstance, with his heart beating and his mind topsy-turvy. The night pa.s.sed and the pretty girl still slept, while Morin was meditating his own fall. The day broke and soon the first ray of sunlight appeared in the sky, a long, clear ray which shone on the face of the sleeping girl and woke her. She sat up, looked at the country, then at Morin and smiled. She smiled like a happy woman, with an engaging and bright look, and Morin trembled. Certainly that smile was intended for him; it was discreet invitation, the signal which he was waiting for. That smile meant to say: "How stupid, what a ninny, what a dolt, what a donkey you are, to have sat there on your seat like a post all night!
""Just look at me, am I not charming? And you have sat like that for the whole night, when you have been alone with a pretty woman, you great simpleton!"
"She was still smiling as she looked at him; she even began to laugh; and he lost his head trying to find something suitable to say, no matter what. But he could think of nothing, nothing, and then, seized with a coward"s courage, he said to himself:
""So much the worse, I will risk everything," and suddenly, without the slightest warning, he went toward her, his arms extended, his lips protruding, and, seizing her in his arms, he kissed her.
"She sprang up immediately with a bound, crying out: "Help! help!" and screaming with terror; and then she opened the carriage door and waved her arm out, mad with terror and trying to jump out, while Morin, who was almost distracted and feeling sure that she would throw herself out, held her by the skirt and stammered: "Oh, madame! oh, madame!"
"The train slackened speed and then stopped. Two guards rushed up at the young woman"s frantic signals. She threw herself into their arms, stammering: "That man wanted-wanted-to-to-" And then she fainted.
"They were at Mauze station, and the gendarme on duty arrested Morin. When the victim of his indiscreet admiration had regained her consciousness, she made her charge against him, and the police drew it up. The poor linen draper did not reach home till night, with a prosecution hanging over him for an outrage to morals in a public place." II
"At that time I was editor of the Fa.n.a.l des Charentes, and I used to meet Morin every day at the Cafe du Commerce, and the day after his adventure. he came to see me, as he did not know what to do. I did not hide my opinion from him, but said to him: "You are no better than a pig. No decent man behaves like that."
"He cried. His wife had given him a beating, and he foresaw his trade ruined, his name dragged through the mire and dishonored, his friends scandalized and taking no notice of him. In the end he excited my pity, and I sent for my colleague, Rivet, a jocular but very sensible little man, to give us his advice.
"He advised me to see the public prosecutor, who was a friend of mine, and so I sent Morin home and went to call on the magistrate. He told me that the woman who had been insulted was a young lady, Mademoiselle Henriette Bonnel, who had just received her certificate as governess in Paris and spent her holidays with her uncle and aunt, who were very respectable tradespeople in Mauze. What made Morin"s case all the more serious was that the uncle had lodged a complaint, but the public official had consented to let the matter drop if this complaint were withdrawn, so we must try and get him to do this.
"I went back to Morin"s and found him in bed, ill with excitement and distress. His wife, a tall raw-boned woman with a beard, was abusing him continually, and she showed me into the room, shouting at me: "So you have come to see that pig of a Morin. Well, there he is, the darling!" And she planted herself in front of the bed, with her hands on her hips. I told him how matters stood, and he begged me to go and see the girl"s uncle and aunt. It was a delicate mission, but I undertook it, and the poor devil never ceased repeating: "I a.s.sure you I did not even kiss her; no, not even that. I will take my oath to it!"
"I replied: "It is all the same; you are nothing but a pig." And I took a thousand francs which he gave me to employ as I thought best, but as I did not care to venture to her uncle"s house alone, I begged Rivet to go with me, which he agreed to do on condition that we went immediately, for he had some urgent business at La Roch.e.l.le that afternoon. So two hours later we rang at the door of a pretty country house. An attractive girl came and opened the door to us a.s.suredly the young lady in question, and I said to Rivet in a low voice: "Confound it! I begin to understand Morin!"
"The uncle, Monsieur Tonnelet, subscribed to the Fa.n.a.l, and was a fervent political coreligionist of ours. He received us with open arms and congratulated us and wished us joy; he was delighted at having the two editors in his house, and Rivet whispered to me: "I think we shall be able to arrange the matter of that pig of a Morin for him."
"The niece had left the room and I introduced the delicate subject. I waved the spectre of scandal before his eyes; I accentuated the inevitable depreciation which the young lady would suffer if such an affair became known, for n.o.body would believe in a simple kiss, and the good man seemed undecided, but he could not make up his mind about anything without his wife, who would not be in until late that evening. But suddenly he uttered an exclamation of triumph: "Look here, I have an excellent idea; I will keep you here to dine and sleep, and when my wife comes home I hope we shall be able to arrange matters:
"Rivet resisted at first, but the wish to extricate that pig of a Morin decided him, and we accepted the invitation, and the uncle got up radiant, called his niece and proposed that we should take a stroll in his grounds, saying: "We will leave serious matters until the morning." Rivet and he began to talk politics, while I soon found myself lagging a little behind with "the girl who was really charming-charming-and with the greatest precaution I began to speak to her about her adventure and try to make her my ally. She did not, however, appear the least confused, and listened to me like a person who was enjoying the whole thing very much.
"I said to her: "Just think, mademoiselle, how unpleasant it will be for you. You will have to appear in court, to encounter malicious looks, to speak before everybody and to recount that unfortunate occurrence in the railway carriage in public. Do you not think, between ourselves, that it would have been much better for you to have put that dirty scoundrel back in his place without calling for a.s.sistance, and merely to change your carriage?" She began to laugh and replied: "What you say is quite true, but what could I do? I was frightened, and when one is frightened one does not stop to reason with one"s self. As soon as I realized the situation I was very sorry, that I had called out, but then it was too late. You must also remember that the idiot threw himself upon me like a madman, without saying a word and looking like a lunatic. I did not even know what he wanted of me."
"She looked me full in the face without being nervous or intimidated and I said to myself: "She is a queer sort of girl, that: I can quite see how that pig Morin came to make a mistake," and I went on jokingly: "Come, mademoiselle, confess that he was excusable, for, after all, a man cannot find himself opposite such a pretty girl as you are without feeling a natural desire to kiss her."
"She laughed more than ever and showed her teeth and said: "Between the desire and the act, monsieur, there is room for respect." It was an odd expression to use, although it was not very clear, and I asked abruptly: "Well, now, suppose I were to kiss you, what would you do?" She stopped to look at me from head to foot and then said calmly: "Oh, you? That is quite another matter."
"I knew perfectly well, by Jove, that it was not the same thing at all, as everybody in the neighborhood called me "Handsome Labarbe"-I was thirty years old in those days-but I asked her: "And why, pray?" She shrugged her shoulders and replied: "Well! because you are not so stupid as he is." And then she added, looking at me slyly: "Nor so ugly, either: And before she could make a movement to avoid me I had implanted a hearty kiss on her cheek. She sprang aside, but it was too late, and then she said: "Well, you are not very bashful, either! But don"t do that sort of thing again."
"I put on a humble look and said in a low voice: "Oh, mademoiselle! as for me, if I long for one thing more than another it is to be summoned before a magistrate for the same reason as Morin."
""Why?" she asked. And, looking steadily at her, I replied: "Because you are one of the most beautiful creatures living; because it would be an honor and a glory for me to have wished to offer you violence, and because people would have said, after seeing you: "Well, Labarbe has richly deserved what he has got, but he is a lucky fellow, all the same.""
"She began to laugh heartily again and said: "How funny you are!" And she had not finished the word "funny" before I had her in my arms and was kissing her ardently wherever I could find a place, on her forehead, on her eyes, on her lips occasionally, on her cheeks, all over her head, some part of which she was obliged to leave exposed, in spite of herself, to defend the others; but at last she managed to release herself, blushing and angry. "You are very unmannerly, monsieur," she said, "and I am sorry I listened to you."
"I took her hand in some confusion and stammered out: "I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon, mademoiselle. I have offended you; I have acted like a brute! Do not be angry with me for what I have done. If you knew-" I vainly sought for some excuse, and in a few moments she said: "There is nothing for me to know, monsieur." But I had found something to say, and I cried: "Mademoiselle, I love you!"
"She was really surprised and raised her eyes to look at me, and I went on: "Yes, mademoiselle, and pray listen to me. I do not know Morin, and I do not care anything about him. It does not matter to me the least if he is committed for trial and locked up meanwhile. I saw you here last year, and I was so taken with you that the thought of you has never left me since, and it does not matter to me whether you believe me or not. I thought you adorable, and the remembrance of you took such a hold on me that I longed to see you again, and so I made use of that fool Morin as a pretext, and here I am. Circ.u.mstances have made me exceed the due limits of respect, and I can only beg you to pardon me."
"She looked at me to see if I was in earnest and was ready to smile again. Then she murmured: "You humbug!" But I raised my hand and said in a sincere voice (and I really believe that I was sincere): "I swear to you that I am speaking the truth," and she replied quite simply: "Don"t talk nonsense!"
"We were alone, quite alone, as Rivet and her uncle had disappeared down a sidewalk, and I made her a real declaration of love, while I squeezed and kissed her hands, and she listened to it as to something new and agreeable, without exactly knowing how much of it she was to believe, while in the end I felt agitated, and at last really myself believed what I said. I was pale, anxious and trembling, and I gently put my arm round her waist and spoke to her softly, whispering into the little curls over her ears. She seemed in a trance, so absorbed in thought was she.
"Then her hand touched mine, and she pressed it, and I gently squeezed her waist with a trembling, and gradually firmer, grasp. She did not move now, and I touched her cheek with my lips, and suddenly without seeking them my lips met hers. It was a long, long kiss, and it would have lasted longer still if I had not heard a hm! hm! just behind me, at which she made her escape through the bushes, and turning round I saw Rivet coming toward me, and, standing in the middle of the path, he said without even smiling: "So that is the way you settle the affair of that pig of a Morin." And I replied conceitedly: "One does what one can, my dear fellow. But what about the uncle? How have you got on with him? I will answer for the niece." "I have not been so fortunate with him," he replied.
"Whereupon I took his arm and we went indoors." III