It was that voice. It was that deep, soft, glowing voice. "Like purple velvet," someone had written. Mrs. Murdock"s heart beat visibly.
Lily Wynton cast herself upon the steep bosom of her hostess, and murmured there. Across Miss Noyes"s shoulder she caught sight of little Mrs. Murdock.
"And who is this?" she said. She disengaged herself.
"That"s my tiny one," Miss Noyes said. "Mrs. Murdock."
"What a clever little face," said Lily Wynton. "Clever, clever little face. What does she do, sweet Hallie? I"m sure she writes, doesn"t she? Yes, I can feel it. She writes beautiful, beautiful words. Don"t you, child?"
"Oh, no, really I-" Mrs. Murdock said.
"And you must write me a play," said Lily Wynton. "A beautiful, beautiful play. And I will play in it, over and over the world, until I am a very, very old lady. And then I will die. But I will never be forgotten, because of the years I played in your beautiful, beautiful play."
She moved across the room. There was a slight hesitancy, a seeming insecurity, in her step, and when she would have sunk into a chair, she began to sink two inches, perhaps, to its right. But she swayed just in time in her descent, and was safe.
"To write," she said, smiling sadly at Mrs. Murdock, "to write. And such a little thing, for such a big gift. Oh, the privilege of it. But the anguish of it, too. The agony."
"But, you see, I-" said little Mrs. Murdock.
"Tiny one doesn"t write, Lily," Miss Noyes said. She threw herself back upon the divan. "She"s a museum piece. She"s a devoted wife."
"A wife!" Lily Wynton said. "A wife. Your first marriage, child?"
"Oh, yes," said Mrs. Murdock.
"How sweet," Lily Wynton said. "How sweet, sweet, sweet. Tell me, child, do you love him very, very much?"
"Why, I-" said little Mrs. Murdock, and blushed. "I"ve been married for ages," she said.
"You love him," Lily Wynton said. "You love him. And is it sweet to go to bed with him?"
"Oh-" said Mrs. Murdock, and blushed till it hurt.
"The first marriage," Lily Wynton said. "Youth, youth. Yes, when I was your age I used to marry, too. Oh, treasure your love, child, guard it, live in it. Laugh and dance in the love of your man. Until you find out what he"s really like."
There came a sudden visitation upon her. Her shoulders jerked upward, her cheeks puffed, her eyes sought to start from their hammocks. For a moment she sat thus, then slowly all subsided into place. She lay back in her chair, tenderly patting her chest. She shook her head sadly, and there was grieved wonder in the look with which she held Mrs. Murdock.
"Gas," said Lily Wynton, in the famous voice. "Gas. n.o.body knows what I suffer from it."
"Oh, I"m so sorry," Mrs. Murdock said. "Is there anything-"
"Nothing," Lily Wynton said. "There is nothing. There is nothing that can be done for it. I"ve been everywhere."
"How"s for a spot of tea, perhaps?" Miss Noyes said. "It might help." She turned her face toward the archway and lifted up her voice. "Mary! Where the h.e.l.l"s the tea?"
"You don"t know," Lily Wynton said, with her grieved eyes fixed on Mrs. Murdock, "you don"t know what stomach distress is. You can never, never know, unless you"re a stomach sufferer yourself. I"ve been one for years. Years and years and years."
"I"m terribly sorry," Mrs. Murdock said.
"n.o.body knows the anguish," Lily Wynton said. "The agony."
The maid appeared, bearing a triangular tray upon which was set an heroic-sized tea service of bright white china, each piece a hectagon. She set it down on a table within the long reach of Miss Noyes and retired, as she had come, bashfully.
"Sweet Hallie," Lily Wynton said, "my sweet. Tea-I adore it. I worship it. But my distress turns it to gall and wormwood in me. Gall and wormwood. For hours, I should have no peace. Let me have a little, tiny bit of your beautiful, beautiful brandy, instead."
"You really think you should, darling?" Miss Noyes said. "You know-"
"My angel," said Lily Wynton, "it"s the only thing for acidity."
"Well," Miss Noyes said. "But do remember you"ve got a performance tonight." Again she hurled her voice at the archway. "Mary! Bring the brandy and a lot of soda and ice and things."
"Oh, no, my saint," Lily Wynton said. "No, no, sweet Hallie. Soda and ice are rank poison to me. Do you want to freeze my poor, weak stomach? Do you want to kill poor, poor Lily?"
"Mary!" roared Miss Noyes. "Just bring the brandy and a gla.s.s." She turned to little Mrs. Murdock. "How"s for your tea, tiny one? Cream? Lemon?"
"Cream, if I may, please," Mrs. Murdock said. "And two lumps of sugar, please, if I may."
"Oh, youth, youth," Lily Wynton said. "Youth and love."
The maid returned with an octagonal tray supporting a decanter of brandy and a wide, squat, heavy gla.s.s. Her head twisted on her neck in a spasm of diffidence.
"Just pour it for me, will you, my dear?" said Lily Wynton. "Thank you. And leave the pretty, pretty decanter here, on this enchanting little table. Thank you. You"re so good to me."
The maid vanished, fluttering. Lily Wynton lay back in her chair, holding in her gloved hand the wide, squat gla.s.s, colored brown to the brim. Little Mrs. Murdock lowered her eyes to her teacup, carefully carried it to her lips, sipped, and replaced it on its saucer. When she raised her eyes, Lily Wynton lay back in her chair, holding in her gloved hand the wide, squat, colorless gla.s.s.
"My life," Lily Wynton said, slowly, "is a mess. A stinking mess. It always has been, and it always will be. Until I am a very, very old lady. Ah, little Clever-Face, you writers don"t know what struggle is."
"But really I"m not-" said Mrs. Murdock.
"To write," Lily Wynton said. "To write. To set one word beautifully beside another word. The privilege of it. The blessed, blessed peace of it. Oh, for quiet, for rest. But do you think those cheap b.a.s.t.a.r.ds would close that play while it"s doing a nickel"s worth of business? Oh, no. Tired as I am, sick as I am, I must drag along. Oh, child, child, guard your precious gift. Give thanks for it. It is the greatest thing of all. It is the only thing. To write."
"Darling, I told you tiny one doesn"t write," said Miss Noyes. "How"s for making more sense? She"s a wife."
"Ah, yes, she told me. She told me she had perfect, pa.s.sionate love," Lily Wynton said. "Young love. It is the greatest thing. It is the only thing." She grasped the decanter; and again the squat gla.s.s was brown to the brim.
"What time did you start today, darling?" said Miss Noyes.
"Oh, don"t scold me, sweet love," Lily Wynton said. "Lily hasn"t been naughty. Her wuzzunt naughty dirl "t all. I didn"t get up until late, late, late. And though I parched, though I burned, I didn"t have a drink until after my breakfast. "It is for Hallie," I said." She raised the gla.s.s to her mouth, tilted it, and brought it away, colorless.
"Good Lord, Lily," Miss Noyes said. "Watch yourself. You"ve got to walk on that stage tonight, my girl."
"All the world"s a stage," said Lily Wynton. "And all the men and women merely players. They have their entrance and their exitses, and each man in his time plays many parts, his act being seven ages. At first, the infant, mewling and puking-"
"How"s the play doing?" Miss Noyes said.
"Oh, lousily," Lily Wynton said. "Lousily, lousily, lousily. But what isn"t? What isn"t, in this terrible, terrible world? Answer me that." She reached for the decanter.
"Lily, listen," said Miss Noyes. "Stop that. Do you hear?"
"Please, sweet Hallie," Lily Wynton said. "Pretty please. Poor, poor Lily."
"Do you want me to do what I had to do last time?" Miss Noyes said. "Do you want me to strike you, in front of tiny one, here?"
Lily Wynton drew herself high. "You do not realize," she said, icily, "what acidity is." She filled the gla.s.s and held it, regarding it as though through a lorgnon. Suddenly her manner changed, and she looked up and smiled at little Mrs. Murdock.
"You must let me read it," she said. "You mustn"t be so modest."
"Read-?" said little Mrs. Murdock.
"Your play," Lily Wynton said. "Your beautiful, beautiful play. Don"t think I am too busy. I always have time. I have time for everything. Oh, my G.o.d, I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. Oh, the suffering I have gone through with my teeth. Look!" She set down her gla.s.s, inserted a gloved forefinger in the corner of her mouth, and dragged it to the side. "Oogh!" she insisted. "Oogh!"
Mrs. Murdock craned her neck shyly, and caught a glimpse of shining gold.
"Oh, I"m so sorry," she said.
"As wah ee id a me a.s.s ime," Lily Wynton said. She took away her forefinger and let her mouth resume its shape. "That"s what he did to me last time," she repeated. "The anguish of it. The agony. Do you suffer with your teeth, little Clever-Face?"
"Why, I"m afraid I"ve been awfully lucky," Mrs. Murdock said. "I-"
"You don"t know," Lily Wynton said. "n.o.body knows what it is. You writers-you don"t know." She took up her gla.s.s, sighed over it, and drained it.
"Well," Miss Noyes said. "Go ahead and pa.s.s out, then, darling. You"ll have time for a sleep before the theater."
"To sleep," Lily Wynton said. "To sleep, perchance to dream. The privilege of it. Oh, Hallie, sweet, sweet Hallie, poor Lily feels so terrible. Rub my head for me, angel. Help me."
"I"ll go get the Eau de Cologne," Miss Noyes said. She left the room, lightly patting Mrs. Murdock"s knee as she pa.s.sed her. Lily Wynton sat in her chair and closed her famous eyes.
"To sleep," she said. "To sleep, perchance to dream."
"I"m afraid," little Mrs. Murdock began. "I"m afraid," she said, "I really must be going home. I"m afraid I didn"t realize how awfully late it was."
"Yes, go, child," Lily Wynton said. She did not open her eyes. "Go to him. Go to him, live in him, love him. Stay with him always. But when he starts bringing them into the house-get out."
"I"m afraid-I"m afraid I didn"t quite understand," Mrs. Murdock said.
"When he starts bringing his fancy women into the house," Lily Wynton said. "You must have pride, then. You must go. I always did. But it was always too late then. They"d got all my money. That"s all they want, marry them or not. They say it"s love, but it isn"t. Love is the only thing. Treasure your love, child. Go back to him. Go to bed with him. It"s the only thing. And your beautiful, beautiful play."
"Oh, dear," said little Mrs. Murdock. "I-I"m afraid it"s really terribly late."
There was only the sound of rhythmic breathing from the chair where Lily Wynton lay. The purple voice rolled along the air no longer.
Little Mrs. Murdock stole to the chair upon which she had left her coat. Carefully she smoothed her white muslin frills, so that they would be fresh beneath the jacket. She felt a tenderness for her frock; she wanted to protect it. Blue serge and little ruffles-they were her own.
When she reached the outer door of Miss Noyes"s apartment, she stopped a moment and her manners conquered her. Bravely she called in the direction of Miss Noyes"s bedroom.
"Good-by, Miss Noyes," she said. "I"ve simply got to run. I didn"t realize it was so late. I had a lovely time-thank you ever so much."
"Oh, good-by, tiny one," Miss Noyes called. "Sorry Lily went by-by. Don"t mind her-she"s really a real person. I"ll call you up, tiny one. I want to see you. Now where"s that d.a.m.ned Cologne?"
"Thank you ever so much," Mrs. Murdock said. She let herself out of the apartment.
Little Mrs. Murdock walked homeward, through the cl.u.s.tering dark. Her mind was busy, but not with memories of Lily Wynton. She thought of Jim; Jim, who had left for his office before she had arisen that morning, Jim, whom she had not kissed good-by. Darling Jim. There were no others born like him. Funny Jim, stiff and cross and silent; but only because he knew so much. Only because he knew the silliness of seeking afar for the glamour and beauty and romance of living. When they were right at home all the time, she thought. Like the Blue Bird, thought little Mrs. Murdock.
Darling Jim. Mrs. Murdock turned in her course, and entered an enormous shop where the most delicate and esoteric of foods were sold for heavy sums. Jim liked red caviar. Mrs. Murdock bought a jar of the shiny, glutinous eggs. They would have c.o.c.ktails that night, though they had no guests, and the red caviar would be served with them for a surprise, and it would be a little, secret party to celebrate her return to contentment with her Jim, a party to mark her happy renunciation of all the glory of the world. She bought, too, a large, foreign cheese. It would give a needed touch to dinner. Mrs. Murdock had not given much attention to ordering dinner, that morning. "Oh, anything you want, Signe," she had said to the maid. She did not want to think of that. She went on home with her packages.
Mr. Murdock was already there when she arrived. He was sitting with his newspaper opened to the financial page. Little Mrs. Murdock ran into him with her eyes a-light. It is too bad that the light in a person"s eyes is only the light in a person"s eyes, and you cannot tell at a look what causes it. You do not know if it is excitement about you, or about something else. The evening before, Mrs. Murdock had run in to Mr. Murdock with her eyes a-light.
"Oh, h.e.l.lo," he said to her. He looked back at this paper, and kept his eyes there. "What did you do? Did you drop up to Hank Noyes"s?"
Little Mrs. Murdock stopped right where she was.
"You know perfectly well, Jim," she said, "that Hallie Noyes"s first name is Hallie."
"It"s Hank to me," he said. "Hank or Bill. Did what"s-her-name show up? I mean drop up. Pardon me."
"To whom are you referring?" said Mrs. Murdock, perfectly.
"What"s-her-name," Mr. Murdock said. "The movie star."
"If you mean Lily Wynton," Mrs. Murdock said, "she is not a movie star. She is an actress. She is a great actress."
"Well, did she drop up?" he said.
Mrs. Murdock"s shoulders sagged. "Yes," she said. "Yes, she was there, Jim."
"I suppose you"re going on the stage now," he said.
"Ah, Jim," Mrs. Murdock said. "Ah, Jim, please. I"m not sorry at all I went to Hallie Noyes"s today. It was-it was a real experience to meet Lily Wynton. Something I"ll remember all my life."
"What did she do?" Mr. Murdock said. "Hang by her feet?"
"She did no such thing!" Mrs. Murdock said. "She recited Shakespeare, if you want to know."
"Oh, my G.o.d," Mr. Murdock said. "That must have been great."
"All right, Jim," Mrs. Murdock said. "If that"s the way you want to be."
Wearily she left the room and went down the hall. She stopped at the pantry door, pushed it open, and spoke to the pleasant little maid.
"Oh, Signe," she said. "Oh, good evening, Signe. Put these things somewhere, will you? I got them on the way home. I thought we might have them some time."
Wearily little Mrs. Murdock went on down the hall to her bedroom.
Harper"s Bazaar, September 1933.