CLXII.
To Miss Mary Hale
1719 TURK STREET, SAN FRANCISCO,.
12th March, 1900.
DEAR MARY, How are you? How is Mother, and the sisters? How are things going on in Chicago? I am in Frisco, and shall remain here for a month or so. I start for Chicago early in April. I shall write to you before that of course. How I wish I could be with you for a few days; one gets tired of work so much. My health is so so, but my mind is very peaceful and has been so for some time. I am trying to give up all anxiety unto the Lord. I am only a worker. My mission is to obey and work. He knows the rest.
"Giving up all vexations and paths, do thou take refuge unto Me. I will save you from all dangers" (Gita, XVIII.66).
I am trying hard to realise that. May I be able to do it soon.
Ever your affectionate brother,
VIVEKANANDA. *.
CLXIII.
To Mrs. Ole Bull
1719 TURK STREET, SAN FRANCISCO,.
12th March, 1900.
MY DEAR DHIRA MATA, Your letter from Cambridge came yesterday. Now I have got a fixed address, 1719 Turk Street, San Francisco. Hope you will have time to pen a few lines in reply to this. I had a ma.n.u.script account sent me by you. I sent it back as you desired; besides that, I had no other accounts. It is all right.
I had a nice letter from Miss Souter from London. She expects to have Mr. . . . to dine with her. So glad to hear of Margot"s success. I have given her over to you, and am sure you will take care of her. I will be here a few weeks more and then go East. I am only waiting for the warm season.
I have not been at all successful financially here, but am not in want. Anyway, things will go on as usual with me, I am sure; and if they don"t, what then? I am perfectly resigned. I had a letter from the Math; they had the Utsava yesterday. I do not intend to go by the Pacific. Don"t care where I go, and when. Now perfectly resigned; Mother knows; a great change, peacefulness is coming on me. Mother, I know, will see to it. I die a Sannyasin. You have been more than mother to me and mine. All love, all blessings be yours for ever, is the constant prayer of
VIVEKANANDA.
PS. Kindly tell Mrs. Leggett that my address for some weeks now will be, 1719 Turk Street, San Francisco.
V.
CLXIV.
To Miss Mary Hale
1719 TURK STREET, SAN FRANCISCO,.
22nd March, 1900.
MY DEAR MARY, Many thanks for your kind note. You are correct that I have many other thoughts to think besides Indian people, but they have all to go to the background before the all-absorbing mission - my Master"s work.
I would that this sacrifice were pleasant. It is not, and naturally makes one bitter at times; for know, Mary, I am yet a man and cannot wholly forget myself; hope I shall some time. Pray for me.
Of course I am not to be held responsible for Miss MacLeod"s or Miss n.o.ble"s or anybody else"s views regarding myself or anything else, am I? You never found me smart under criticism.
I am glad you are going over to Europe for a long period. Make a long tour, you have been long a house-dove. As for me, I am tired on the other hand of eternal tramping; that is why I want to go back home and be quiet. I do not want to work any more. My nature is the retirement of a scholar. I never get it! I pray I will get it, now that I am all broken and worked out. Whenever I get a letter from Mrs. Sevier from her Himalayan home, I feel like flying off the Himalayas. I am really sick of this platform work and eternal trudging and seeing new faces and lecturing.
You need not bother about getting up cla.s.ses in Chicago. I am getting money in Frisco and will soon make enough for my pa.s.sage home.
How are you and the sisters? I expect to come to Chicago some time towards the first part of April.
Yours,
VIVEKANANDA. * *.
CLXV.
To Miss Mary Hale
1719 TURK STREET, SAN FRANCISCO,.
28th March, 1900.
WELL BLESSED MARY, This is to let you know "I am very happy". Not that I am getting into a shadowy optimism, but my power of suffering is increasing. I am being lifted up above the pestilential miasma of this world"s joys and sorrows; hey are losing their meaning. It is a land of dreams; it does not matter whether one enjoys or weeps; they are but dreams, and as such, must break sooner or later. How are things going on with you folks there? Harriet is going to have a good time at Paris. I am sure to meet her over there and parler fransaise! I am getting by heart a French dictionnaire! I am making some money too; hard work morning and evening; yet better for all that. Good sleep, good digestion, perfect irregularity.
You are going to the East. I hope to come to Chicago before the end of April. If I can"t, I will surely meet you in the East before you go. What are the McKindley girls doing? Eating grapefruit concoctions and getting plump? Go on, life is but a dream. Are you not glad it is so? My! They want an eternal heaven! Thank G.o.d, nothing is eternal except Himself. He alone can bear it, I am sure. Eternity of nonsense!