"HEYYYYYY GUUUYYYYSS!!""WILL YOU STOP RUNNING IN FIRST THING IN THE MORNING AND COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL FOR ONCE? YOU"VE DONE THIS LIKE 4 TIMES RECENTLY."
Jeez… Sean was off to his usual rowdy self and I"ve already had enough. Whatever is happening today I don"t want anything to do with it.
"Guess what today is."
"Don"t care."
"Aw don"t be like that. Ethan any guesses?"
"Can I have a hint?"
"Sure! It rhymes with drifty."
"Drifty… drifty… drifty… I got it! You stole some money from someone and you"re being shifty!"
"INCORRECT!"
"Owen. You sure you don"t want to guess?"
Even if I don"t guess I"m going to be forced to do it.
"How about you found something on the side of the road and said. `hey! that looks nifty"?"
"Wrong! You both are bad at this. Let me just tell you."
Thank G.o.d he is going to tell us. I had just about given up and was ready to go to bed.
"It"s our 50th chapter!"
Wow. 50 chapters, huh? Nice way to break the fourth wall.
"We lasted that long? I thought for sure we would have been abandoned by now."
"Silly Ethan. We would never be abandoned for we are the best of the best."
"According to who?" I asked.
"Errr… well… you know… errr… ourselves?"
"That just makes it look like we are all very arrogant. I don"t want anything to do with your arrogance."
"But 50 chapters." Ethan said. "That"s a lot. How many more do we have to go?"
"No idea. I hope it doesn"t go on forever."
Unlike Sean, I don"t have any issue with how long it goes on for. I"ve got it pretty easy in most chapters. I just insult people and complain about things.
"Thinking about it. These first 50 chapters haven"t been easy for me." Ethan said.
"Really? What makes you say that?"
"Well. First Kaylee came in. I"ve had my heart broken many times already because of that, my sister isn"t exactly easy to deal with, people think I"m weird cause I"ve cried a lot and I"ve had things thrown at me. Have you gotten your phone fixed yet? It"s really hard to contact you."
"Well I can"t fix say I"ve gotten it fixed in this chapter, can I? No one will read this chapter as it breaks the fourth wall too much. Who knows which parts will be apart of the plot or not."
"True. Just say something next chapter then I"m sure it"ll be fine."
Well if that"s how it works, I"ll just say I won the lottery and retired so I don"t have to show up anymore.
"I"ve had it pretty easy." Sean said. "I don"t talk much I just got on with things. I play football and even got confessed to early on."
"Oh yeah, by Charley… I remember that. What a strange little girl."
Yeah and her younger sister is pretty weird too, why are all the younger sister character weird? I hope I don"t have to deal with her in the future… please tell me I haven"t just jinxed myself.
"Well in 50 chapters we"ve done a lot. We"ve got some useless and boring stats for the nerds that care. We also gotta get that word count up."
The fourth wall breaking was starting to hurt my head. When will this end.
"So far we"ve had around 16 lessons. That"s not even half. I was kinda expecting more but I guess we do a lot of after school stuff or weekend stuff… plus Christmas. Thinking about it there really isn"t much, huh? Anyway! Here is more of a breakdown!
Registration: 7 chapters
English: 4 chapters
Learning for Life: 3 chapters
Music: 1 chapter
Lunch: 2 chapters
French: 1 chapter
Science: 2 chapters
Drama: 2 chapters (not including performance)
Pe: 2 chapters
After school: 5 chapters
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Computer Science: 1 chapter
Reading this almost makes it sound like we don"t show up to lesson."
"What about my trusty D&D sessions? We played those a few times so far. We still have a long way to go!"
"I forgot about your D&D sessions, Sean. We"ve done 5 of those so far. Just how long is this campaign?"
"Tsk tsk tsk. You can"t rush perfection."
Believe it or not but Sean"s D&D campaign makes coming to school interesting. Without it, I"d have to do more stupid games in the morning.
"Well. Time for more interesting stats." Ethan said. "The three of us were introduced within the first chapter but it"s been 50 chapters now and our cast has gone up to 7!"
7? I feel like he is missing someone.
"Did you include Simon in that number?" I asked.
"Ugh, so someone remembers him, huh? I was hoping he would have been written out by now so It becomes easier for me." Bringing up the name filled Ethan with disgust. He began spitting at the floor, cursing it… or maybe he"s cleaning it?
"The fact I"m interested in is how often we"ve all appeared so far. You got the stats for that, Ethan?" Sean asked.
"OF COURSE! This is the most interesting one. We are working it out based on if they are important to the chapter or not. So stuff like me and Owen falling out a bush in Sean"s Confession don"t count. I"m sure I"ve been in at least 45 of them."
Well as the main I should have been in all 50.
"Okay! Let"s see… I"ll start at the bottom for dramatic effect.
Appearing in only 3 chapters… Is Charley!"
Aw, the poor little girl only showing up in 3.
"Keep in mind we don"t count the chapters with her confession to Sean as she was just a background character then. We didn"t even know she"d return!"
Aw, the poor little girl. At least she got promoted.
"NEXT! Also at 3 chapters. IS MY SISTER, BELLA! HA, only 3 chapters, sucks to be her… she deserves it sometimes."
I feel like we just saw some of Ethan"s true side today.
"NEEEEx.x.xT! LIGHTNING ROUND. GO! Kaylee and Ruby both at 15 chapters, believe it or not, they are also in some of the D&D chapters. See if you can find them. (hint: it"s not hard).
Moving on! Sean is at... 28!"
"Only 28? I was hoping I"d have been in more."
This is it. Only me and Ethan are left… which one of us had more?"
"Drumroll please."
No. I don"t care enough to do a drum roll.
"With 43 chapters… only 6 chapters they weren"t in (not including this one). is… BOTH OF US!"
W-wwhhaaattt!
We both have 43 chapters? there were 6 chapters we weren"t in? which means he"s beaten me?
"I refuse to accept this. Quick. Someone go back and throw me in a chapter randomly! Just as a background character or something.
DID YOU COUNT THIS CHAPTER!??!"
"Dude, why do you care so much? it"s just a number. And also we are both in this chapter which would make it 44 each."
d.a.m.n. He"s right, how did I not realise that. I"m going to have to kill him off in a later chapter.
"Well, that"s it for the stats for nerds section. We hope you enjoyed this filler and if you didn"t read it then that"s whatever."
Ethan was really into this host thing. Perhaps he should take over as lead.
"We would like to thank you all for supporting us for 50 chapters. We hope you will continue to read and enjoy us annoying Owen."
Wait… what did he say?
"I hope I appear more." Sean said. "I was only in 28 chapters so far. Aren"t I supposed to be in the main three? And you guys also have girlfriends."
"She"s not my girlfriend" I b.u.t.ted in.
"She"s not my girlfriend… yet…" Even in filler chapters, he is optimistic.
"Well let"s just enjoy school while we can. I"m sure you"ll get your turn, Sean."