[Wednesday]Before heading to school Lily was faced with a wall of emotions. Every day she would debate with herself about going in or not. She knew that she would only stay for a few minutes which is why she forced herself to go, but for her to stay for 6 hours, the wall only grew bigger.
The thoughts that raced through her mind never stopped, even on the way she kept resisting and fighting with the voice inside her head. The memories of everyone insulting her, the memories of the same people hitting her and spitting on her. She never wanted to go through something like that again. She never wanted to return to school. She only wanted to die.
Outside the receptionist"s desk, Lily spoke to the teacher about her plan to stay at school. She could see Sean in the corner of her eye watching over her. His warm smile comforted her, she attempted to ignore those around her and focus on the teacher"s words but she couldn"t hear anything. Even if they weren"t about her she could still hear them.
"Are you ok?" Sean approached Lily who had finished talking to the teacher, She wore her hood subconsciously and looked at Sean without saying a word.
"U-um… yeah."
"Don"t worry, you"ll be fine! If you ever have any trouble you can come to me! I"ll make sure to come and collect you at lunch so you come and hang out with me and my friends!"
Lily looked at Sean but didn"t say anything. All she could see was Sean who looked at her as if she was the only person in the room.
-DRRRRING-
The school bell echoed through the hall. Kids were running off to their cla.s.srooms hoping they won"t be late. Lily stood in place petrified. Her legs collapsed from under her, attaching her to the ground. Sean looked down at her and stretched out his hand. Lily looked at him, full of despair.
"I… I can"t do this."
"Yes, you can. I believe in you! Come on, I"ll walk you to cla.s.s!"
Lily took Sean"s hand and pulled herself up. She attached herself to Sean"s back where she could cover her face. The two of them walked the empty corridor to her cla.s.s. The windows on the doors blurred into one. She couldn"t see through them and couldn"t hear anything. All the doors were closed as the two walked down the endless corridor.
# # #
Lily stood outside her cla.s.sroom preparing herself to enter. She took her time as Sean stood next to her. She grabbed hold of the door handle but pulled her hand back. She attempted to grab it again but each time she would shake uncontrollably.
"Lily," Sean said. "I hope you won"t hate me for what I"m about to do."
"Eh?" Sean grabbed hold of Lily and opened the door, shoving her in before quickly closing it, trapping her inside.
Her whole cla.s.s stared at her as she slowly moved towards an empty seat in the back of the cla.s.s. She concealed her face with her hood and bag. The teacher watched her with a smile on her face. Happy to see Lily finally come to cla.s.s.
She sat down in an empty seat but the stares didn"t stop. People began talking about her, although Lily couldn"t hear what they were saying, the thoughts alone were enough for her to feel sick.
"Ok, everyone!" The teacher called out. "Back to doing your work! Remember to fill in the sheet before the first lesson! I"ll be back in a minute, guys! Just need to collect something from the office."
Everyone turned back to the front and ignored Lily. She felt relieved that no one was talking about her and that she had become invisible to the cla.s.s. But there were still some people who weren"t happy with Lily"s presence.
"Hey! What you got there!" A girl ran up to Lily and s.n.a.t.c.hed her bag out of her hand.
Lily attempted to grab it back but there was nothing she could do.
"What"s all this? Books and junk?" The girl emptied Lily"s bag onto her desk and threw the emptied bag to the front of the cla.s.s.
"Why aren"t you saying anything?" she asked Lily.
"I-i… u-umm."
"What was that! Speak up! We can"t hear you!" The girl grabbed Lily by the hair and pulled her up to her face. The rest of the cla.s.s watched and laughed along.
"Don"t think we"ll welcome you back" The girl whispered to Lily.
"Everyone knows what you did. If you think you can suddenly return after two years and manipulate people then think again!"
"I… I don"t know what you"re talking about."
"Bulls.h.i.t!" The girl screamed pushing Lily back into the wall. The girl jumped on Lily with her fist raised in the air.
"We all know what happened at your last school! You manipulated and stole that boy from your best friend! You betrayed everyone and played the victim! The sweet cute victim! You make me sick!"
"NO!" Lily screamed. "Y-you"re wrong… I...I didn"t do it. I didn"t do it. It wasn"t me." Lily kept repeating as she began to breakdown. Tears poured down her face as she wrapped herself in her jumper, protecting her arms and face. "...I-i… Didn"t do it."
"Hey, leave her." Another girl said.
"Whatever." The girl went to sit back down at for the rest of the day all everyone could talk about was Lily.
Lily spent the lessons up till lunch by herself, isolated from her cla.s.s. Even the teacher was too powerless to help. Each lesson Lily faced with a brave face. She didn"t know what to think. She didn"t know who was to blame for what was happening. She could only hate herself for being born.
# # #
[Wednesday, Lunch]
Outside her cla.s.sroom, Sean waited for her to leave. He watched as the rest of her cla.s.s flooded out and ran outside to play. Eventually, A girl holding a blazer and wearing a pink hoodie walked out. Sean couldn"t see whose face it was as the hood was tightly covering it. But he knew that it was Lily.
She stopped in front of Sean and didn"t say anything. Sean looked back at her thinking about what to say or do. He tried to think about what Owen or Ethan would do and came to one conclusion.
Sean gently raised his hand and placed it on top of Lily"s head. Lily raised her head and pulled back her hood to look at Sean.
He stared at Lily awkwardly only just realising how bad it was. Her eyes were expressionless as if she had witnessed her family killed right in front of her, whilst she was forced to watch.
Sean gently removed his hand from her head and took her empty sleeve from where her hoodie had been stretched.
"Come on. " Sean and Lily walked down the corridor, taking her to the usual spot Sean and his friends hung out at, behind the school canteen. The two of them walked in silence with Lily ignoring all the voices of the students who talked about them. She couldn"t say anything, even if she wanted to her throat was too damaged from all the crying.
"We"re here." Sean said.
Lily looked up and saw two people she had never seen before standing in front of her.
One tall person wearing gla.s.s drinking from a small carton of apple juice, whilst the other one stood awkwardly still, unsure of what to say or do.
"Allow me to introduce them!" Sean said.
"The guy with the gla.s.ses is Owen. He"s the depressing one."
"Sup."
"The other one is Ethan. The failing in love one."
"Is that really what you said about me?"
"That"s what I would say if I had to describe you" Owen added.
"Well, thanks… I guess."
The four of them stood in silence awkwardly. Ethan and Owen were trying to communicate with Sean to keep the conversation going without giving anything away.
"Ah! Right! This is Lily!"
Lily pushed her hood slightly back revealing more of her face.
"N-nice to meet you." She said faintly.
"Nice to meet you." Ethan replied.
"Y-yeah… Likewise." Owen said.
"Owen, why are you so awkward? Is your social anxiety acting up?" Sean stated
"Eh? N-no… I"m perfectly fine. I"m just trying to enjoy my drink that"s all."
"Hmpf, he invites one girl over and suddenly gets confidence to insult me? He better watch out tomorrow" Owen whispered to himself.
The silence returned with the four of them awkwardly looking at each other. They stood in an area of the school that was typically empty and because of this, Lily felt relieved and comfortable.
"So… Sean.You ready for the football game in a few days?" Ethan said trying to start a conversation.
"Ah. Yes. I"ve been training as much as possible. The game is this Sat.u.r.day. You guys are going, right?"
"Yes yes. I"ll make sure to phone Owen so he comes on time." Ethan said.
Lily listened into the conversation. Although she didn"t have anything to say she was happy to listen to a conversation that didn"t involve her.
"Why don"t you come on Sat.u.r.day, Lily?" Owen said
"Oh, That"s a good idea." Sean said. "Ruby and Kaylee are also going so you won"t be the only girl."
"Ruby? Kaylee?" Lily asked.
"Ah. They are in our cla.s.s. Ruby is Owen"s girlfriend and Kaylee is Ethan"s."
"She isn"t my girlfriend!" Owen snapped.
"She isn"t my girlfriend… yet." Ethan said hopefully.
"Ah… o-ok." Lily wasn"t sure what to say. She felt happy to be talking to these people, even if she had never spoken to them before. She felt safe speaking with them and looked forward to the weekend.
"I need to go to the toilet so I"ll be back." Sean left having faith that Owen and Ethan would be able to keep the conversation going well enough.
# # #
"You mean the pink hoodie girl?" Outside the bathroom, two boys were speaking of Lily as Sean was leaving. He hid behind the door and listened to their conversation from the inside.
"Yeah, we went to the same Primary school." A blonde boy in the same year stood leaning against the wall next to the door. Talking to a boy who looked younger than him.
"Really? What was she like?"
"She was always fun to push around and get to do whatever I wanted, we even managed to get her to lose the sports festival for her team. She was cute but weird. She had a thing for me but I saw her more as disgusting than anything else. Still, she made primary school a lot more interesting."
"So you manipulated her, huh?!" Sean stepped out from the bathroom and stood facing the two boys.
"Huh? What do you want? It"s not nice to listen to other people"s conversations."
Sean wouldn"t listen and approached him, clenching his fists. The two of them stood face to face, staring each other down.
"Because of you, that girl hates herself! You should apologise!" Sean spat in the face of the guy standing in front of him, looking at the coward in front of him. His friend stayed at the back, scared of an unavoidable fight.
"Apologise? Who do you think you are?"
# # #
"Hey, guy! Sorry to keep you waiting!"
Sean returned and they all turned to face him. Owen and Ethan looked at him suspiciously whilst Lily stared at the mark around his eye.
"What happened to your eye?" Owen asked.
"Ah! This? I just feel over and hurt myself that"s all."
Owen and Ethan looked at it closely and began to whisper to one enough.
"That"s a black eye, right?" Ethan said.
"Looks like it." Owen replied. "We should question him later. When Lily isn"t here."
"Good idea!"
Lily approached Sean and gently patted his eye with her sleeve. Like a curious cat that had witnessed all this for the first time. Having friends was something strange and new to her. The concept of a white lie was also something she had never experienced before.
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"B-be careful… next time." Lily said as Sean"s face turned bright red.
Lily looked up to see Sean"s burning red face. He attempted to cover it but couldn"t turn his head away from Lily who held him gently.
Ethan and Owen watched eagerly, writing down notes of what was happening with accompanying drawings to doc.u.ment the situation.
"W-well anyway!" Sean said fl.u.s.tered, pulling himself away from Lily"s hands.
"We better go to cla.s.s! H-here take this." Sean pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down a number on it before handing it over to Lily.
"I-it"s my number… if you ever want to talk about anything just send a message."
Lily took the number and held it close to her chest. She pulled out an old flip phone and began to add the number to her phone.
"Sean managed to give a girl his number." Owen whispered to Ethan.
"Indeed, make sure to write that down. We need to learn from this. Never know when it could be useful."
"T-the football game." Lily asked.
"Ah, right. I"ll message you the details later, it is this Sat.u.r.day so make sure I get your number."
"R-right!" Lily was filled with determination and felt as if she could do anything, she looked forward to the match and had always dreamt of hanging out with friends.
For the rest of the day, although the bullying continued, Lily faced it with a brave face. Ignoring everything people said about her. Her hopes for Sat.u.r.day were enough for her to get through the remainder of the day.
Although she didn"t return for the following days she remained happy. She looked forward to Sat.u.r.day. She spent Thursday and Friday texting Sean, back and forth about random things that came to their minds.
Although it was annoying to Owen and Ethan who had to listen to Sean talk for hours, they were happy for them both.