[Friday, Registration]Something feels off about today. I wonder what it is? Could it be that I"m sitting here in cla.s.s doing nothing with my life? Could it be that my life doesn"t involve bada.s.s fighting and tons of romantic partners? Maybe I"m depressed?
"GUYS GUESS WHAT TODAY IS?"
Or maybe what I was missing was a good old Sean running through the door last minute screaming his head off. It"s been a while since one of these happened.
"What are you screaming about?" I asked.
"What is today?"
Today? Is today something special? Is today a day I should know?"
"It"s April first!" Sean said it before I could even guess.
"Oh, April first… What about it?"
Sean looked at me with his jaw on the floor.
"Silly Owen," Ethan added. "Today is April fools day."
"And my birthday!" Sean added.
Oh, right. He was born on April fools. It"s the perfect explanation for why he is the way he is. He is a bit of a fool.
"So what do you want us to do?" I asked.
Sean looked at me with a deadpan face.
"I"m pregnant."
"Congrats," I said with an equally deadpan expression.
"Aw come on…" Sean said. "That was clearly an April fools day joke, you can at least act surprised."
I pride myself on never having fooled for a single April fools day joke in my life. Some of you could call it sad but I"m proud of it. The trick is to not believe anything anyone tells you. I"m so good at it, even when it"s not April Fools I refuse to believe everything.
"Say, I heard something from my mum," Ethan said. "It involves your parents, Owen."
Here it comes. An obvious April fools joke. What will it be this time?
"Apparently they are getting a divorce."
I looked at Ethan with a sorrowful smile. I thought about it and only one thought crossed my mind.
"G.o.d, I hope so," I said.
"What a lovely thing to say."
"Well, I never see them anyway. They work all day and night. I"ve been independent for as long as I can remember."
"And yet you still can"t book your own doctor"s appointments"
"My parents are doctors… why would I need to book appointments? How stupid."
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"I was just talking about your crippling social anxiety," Ethan said.
"Well, I guess we can blame my parents for that, can"t we."
The two of them laughed at my suicide. They got great enjoyment out of me insulting myself and so did I. Ironically It made me feel better about myself.
"Anyway…" Sean began to speak. "So, since it"s my birthday, I have something to say."
I can"t wait to see what "prank" he has this year. Last year he attempted to fake his own death by using fake blood. The only problem was that he did it in the middle of cla.s.s so the teacher called an ambulance. Even when he got up and did a handstand to show he was perfectly fine the teacher didn"t believe him.
"So what prank are you trying this year?" Ethan asked.
"If I told you it wouldn"t be a surprise."
Now that he has told us he plans to prank us we are just going to be suspicious of everything he says. Has he thought this through?
Ring Ring
"Sean, your phone is ringing."
"Oh, Sorry. It"s my girlfriend. I need to take this."
Sean moved his chair away from Ethan and myself. He clearly wanted private time but I wasn"t shocked at all. I knew what day it was and it"s just his prank.
"Psst… hey… Owen." Ethan came slithering over.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Did you hear what he said? About the girlfriend? Well? Did you?"
"Yes, I did. It"s clearly this year"s prank. He"s probably talking to his brother or something"
"Hmmm. I don"t know. I saw the name on the phone and it was a girls name with a heart next to it. WITH A HEART! You don"t just put a heart next to anyone"s name."
"Alright. I get it." I said as I pushed Ethan off of me.
I looked over to Sean who seemed to be enjoying himself. He was laughing and I could also hear faint laughter coming from the other end. I guess he may have gotten a girlfriend.
"So what do we do?" Ethan asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, what if he does have a girlfriend?"
"I don"t know why you care. Today is the only day you can confess your love to Kaylee and play it off as a joke when she flat out rejects you. Worry about that more."
"That"s genius." I heard Ethan whisper. He looked over to Kaylee as if he was about to attempt it. I was on the edge of my seat hoping he would. It would be one thing for him to gain confidence and ask, but it"s a completely different thing, and funny thing, when he gets rejected.
"Nah, I won"t do it. Who knows about Simon."
"Are they still together?" I asked.
"Don"t know. I haven"t seen him in a while. It"s almost like he"s been forgotten about."
"Maybe they aren"t talking? What if they had an argument? Maybe he was a year-long April fools joke."
Ethan was eager to find out Kaylee"s relationship status. Although she is most likely "Taken" it"s easy to work out that Ethan is "it"s complicated", meaning it"s one-sided.
"Sorry about that guy." Sean had returned from his phone call but quickly got bombarded with text messages that almost shook down the whole school.
"Isn"t someone popular," I said as sarcastically as possible.
"Jealous?" Sean asked.
"Not one bit. So who is the girl?" I asked.
"Oh, you don"t know her. She goes to another school."
It was at the moment that another thought went through my head.
"She isn"t real."
Anyone who says that is single. I"ve even used it myself in the past and only found myself screaming into my pillow from the embarra.s.sment that night.
"What"s her name?" I asked.
"Mary." Sean"s quick reply didn"t falter me. I was going to get him to admit she wasn"t real.
"What does she study?"
"History, Geography and Business."
"What year is she in?"
"Same as us, year 11."
d.a.m.n, he"s good. He"s completely delusional.
I looked over at Ethan to see if he was going to help me but he hadn"t taken his eyes off Kaylee since I mentioned her name. He was a lost cause.
"Does Mary have any siblings?" I asked.
"Just one, a younger brother."
"How old is he?"
"7."
"What"s his name?"
"Err? Karl?"
AH-HA. He stuttered! I knew this girl wasn"t real.
"Err Karl? What a strange name? It almost sounds FAKE to me."
"Fake? Pfft. Come on. He is real, so is Mary."
"Hmmm? I didn"t say anything about doubting Mary? Why would you suddenly bring her up in this?"
Sweat was pouring down Sean"s face. He was caught in the bear trap and could hear the hunter running towards him. He had no chance of escape.
"Because I love her so much that I want to talk about her all the time."
It seems Sean managed to lose track of the hunter. He can run. He can run for now. But he shall not escape.
"If you want to talk about her why only bring her up today?"
"I didn"t want to bore you."
"Oh please, I have to hear about Ethan"s love life all the time. One extra person won"t hurt."
This was it. He didn"t notice the cliff he was running towards. The hunter has caught up and he has nowhere left to run.
"Sigh. You got me. April fools. She isn"t real."
"I KNEW IT!" I screamed. "Hey, Ethan. I got him to admit it. Did you see that? Did you?" I tapped Ethan on the shoulder over and over but he kept ignoring me. I wanted to brag about winning but I have no one to brag to. I can"t accept this victory. I have no reason to accept this victory if I can"t brag to anyone. What a tragic lose.