[Monday, Lesson 5 - L4L]"Today is a sad day" I began to speak. "For far too long we have been sitting here. Doing all the work this cla.s.s throws at us. Every single sheet and book we fill out without complaining. So why! WHY! WHY MUST YOU MAKE US STAND IN FRONT OF THE CLa.s.s AND PITCH SOMETHING?"
"Dude… Calm down… let"s discuss the product first." Ethan said trying to calm me down.
In case you haven"t guessed we are back in the worst lesson which I now hate. Instead of our usual antics, everyone in the cla.s.s is being forced to stand up and present a product. Almost like that one show with the reptiles. We were put into groups for this so it"s the three cool kids at it again.
I"m against standing up and presenting but maybe if we come up with a good idea I"ll do it.
"So what should we do?" Sean asked.
"Let"s appeal to the ma.s.ses," Ethan replied as if the answer was staring us in the face.
"How do we do that?"
"Well, what do people love?" He looked at us as if should know all the answers. He is asking the worst people for this.
"Football?" Sean suggested.
"Cats?" I said.
"Incorrect. Isn"t it obvious? People love romance."
Ah, romance. It was right in front of us. Right in front of three single teens. Romance. This is what we need. Romance.
"So how do we pitch romance to people? Tell them to get out of bed and talk to girls."
"We create a dating app!" Ethan said standing on his chair triumphantly.
This isn"t going to end well.
# # #
"Come one, Come all!" Ethan projected to the cla.s.s. "Come feast your eyes on the latest craze. The newest in innovation. THE GREATEST PRODUCT YOU"VE EVER SEEN!"
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Ethan did a good job of getting the cla.s.s"s attention. All the previous presentations were full of people that didn"t care. Thanks to Kaylee who was in the audience we were able to unlock super confident Ethan who was willing to do what he had to for love.
"You"ve heard of your boring typical dating apps. The swiping left, swiping up. Who cares about swiping. I ask you, the audience. What exactly are you looking for in an app?"
The cla.s.s looked around at each other, I couldn"t possibly count the number of confusing looks I saw. So far so bad.
"Get on with it!" Ruby shouted from the back.
"THAT"S EXACTLY RIGHT RANDOM AUDIENCE MEMBER!"
I should probably say that both Sean and I have no idea what our role is here. We were told to just let Ethan handle everything and that "we would know our roles when they appeared". We don"t even know what this app is.
"As the person from the back shouted, "get on with it". That is what we want out of a dating app. Dating apps can take up to months just to find a potential partner. We"ve all used them before, you install the app, get called ugly and uninstall it whilst you cry into a tub of ice cream."
Nope. I think that"s just you.
"Well, no more crying! No more getting called ugly. With this app, you"ll never be called ugly again."
The audience was starting to become intrigued. All the boys were sitting up and listening to the self-proclaimed "love master".
Kaylee sat in the far back giggling away at Ethan whilst Ruby sat next to her, unamused at what she was watching.
"WE CALL OUR DATING APP!!!! FAITHFUL!!!"
Faithful? Is that really what we are calling it? I"m starting to get a bad feeling about this.
"Faithful has many features but the main one is how you meet people. Faithful will find people in your area and you"ll be able to read their bio whilst they read yours. Our "Faithful AI"(™) will work give you a score based out of 100. This score will tell you how compatible you are."
"How does it know?" The teacher asked.
"Ah, well, I was just getting to that part. The AI will check a number of factors. Your number of ex-partners, their number of ex-partners. The number of people they"ve met on the dating app and the number of people you"ve met. The number of friends they have and the number of friends you have. All this information plus more will tell us the number."
I"m starting to figure out why it"s called Faithful. Is Ethan trying to hint at something?
"How are you going to get this information?" A kid in the cla.s.s called out.
"Errrrrrrr," Ethan began to break down, he looked over to Sean and me to try to get us to help. Sean stepped forward and looked to the crowd, all eyes were on him as he let out one word which would save us from this mess.
"Legally"
The crowd began to talk amongst themselves as if what Sean said made perfect sense and they were completely on board with the idea again.
"Thank you, Sean!" Ethan said. "Now then! We shall move onto the demonstration part!
Demonstration part? Is this what our roles were supposed to be?
"Owen, Sean, come here and take a seat."
Sean and I sat down opposite each other with a table in between us. I a.s.sume it"s supposed to represent a date but I have no idea.
"Right! So our dating app will give you the information about each other. I will hand you a sheet about the person sitting opposite you and you two must act as if you were on a date!"
He handed me a piece of paper with information which I can only a.s.sume he thinks is normal.
"So, Owen," Sean began to speak. "I hear you are a famous circus clown?"
This must be my occupation.
"Yes. Indeed I am. And you work as a professional Time counter? Please tell me, what exactly is that?"
"Ah yes. A time counter counts time."
The crowd watched with eager eyes. The boys all sat forward hoping their real dates would be like this. Some even began taking notes.
"I see," I said. "As for your family? You have 13 brothers correct?"
"Yes!" Sean said excitedly "But please don"t" leave out my 5 sisters."
"My bad. It was rude of me to leave that out."
I looked pa.s.sed Sean and saw Ethan standing like a worried producer. He pointed to his arm and looked at me with a worried expression. I guess he is meant to be pointing to a watch?
"This was a lovely date but I must go," I said standing up ready to leave.
"I understand. Those pesky mafia members will always find you. Good luck on the run. I hope you find your real parents."
Just what exactly was on that paper?
I quickly left and we all took back to the stage and bowed. The crowd clapped whilst Ruby"s expression stayed the same for the whole time we were presenting.
"It was quite good, wasn"t it?" Kaylee said.
"It was alright." Ruby replied.
Once all the groups had presented there was a vote to see which group won. Believe it or not, we won by a landslide. The teacher commented on our superb acting ability and dating app that he wishes was real. I guess we have our first investor.