Contradicting Worlds

Tears make her eyes gleam and even in the darkness, I can see it. "So, if you are watching this, that means I didn"t make it. Don"t be sad because I don"t deserve it. I accept my fate, El." The sound of her voice is making my chest ache. The pain I feel is nothing dull. It"s there, in my heart, pulsating and beating. I can tell by the way her voice quivers that she is also fighting back her tears.

Wait, did she just tell me that she accepts her fate? What does that mean? Does that mean that she knows she"s gonna die? "I love you El, you know that but I understand if you can"t forgive me after what I"ve done." I can"t make sense of what she"s saying and it is useless to ask her questions so I choose to listen patiently.

"I know you have a lot of questions and I am sorry if I can"t answer them for you personally but you will find someone who can." She pauses to take a deep breath. She seems to be so nervous about this though I don"t know why. "I lied to you El. I lied to you. From the moment we met, I have been lying to you all along. I am sorry. I am so sorry." I stare at her with my brows furrowed. Guilt and remorse were forgotten replaced by confusion etched with fear. "Our meeting wasn"t an accident. Chelssey"s death wasn"t your fault as well as Elisa"s." She gulps, the action made her throat bobs up and down. "I don"t know where to start really, all my thoughts are getting rumbled in my head and I am sweating right now because I am so nervous but you have to promise me not to end this video unless it is necessary. I want you to watch this video from beginning to end for you to understand how serious things are going on right now." She exhales sharply before continuing.

"You know that my ability is that I can sense other people"s power, right?" I nod though I am perfectly sure that I am just making a fool of myself. "Well, your power is so strong that I sensed it even though I was miles away from you. I thought that you were inside the city because your ability is so powerful that it"s like it has some kind of hook in it that is kinda pulling me. I was working for the director at that time, directly which means that I am not under the government but by the director herself. I am still working for her right now but what I meant was that I was perfectly loyal to her back then. Because of that, I was wildly known in the city. There"s not one person who doesn"t know me. Because I was her right hand though I am not the Commander. I helped her capture exiles by using my ability. It was part of our deal. I will help her capture exiles in exchange for my protection. So when I felt your ability, I told her about it and she"s taken interest in you right away. We roamed around the city, searching for you but when we came back to the castle empty-handed, I suggested that I should try and take a look outside the walls. At first, she disagreed because we believed that I couldn"t sense an ability that is miles and miles away from me. But I realized that it wasn"t because my ability is sharpening but it was because yours is just powerful. So I kept on persuading her until she finally agreed. When she did, I was out instantly to find you. It was a tough search so when I finally found you I felt like I just won a trip to the North." She gives a little chuckle which causes a sad smile to broke out of my face. I really miss her and listening to her talk isn"t doing me any good. Right now, all I want is for her to come back and tell me that everything"s going to be alright. "You weren"t alone though. You were with Chelssey. I watched you for a few days, keeping myself in the shadows all the time. I admit I was kinda jealous of the relationship you had had with her because even though you were practically digging up the dirt for food at least you were happy. You seemed contented just to have her by your side and you looked like you were going to do everything in your power just to protect her. By then, I recognized your weakness and I knew where to attack you. I came back to the director to tell her about my findings. She told me that I should take her to you but I told her that it would certainly scare you away. I asked her what she would do if she finds you. It is a nonsense question but she told me "We"ll see". I had no idea what that means but it"s what she always tells me whenever I ask her what she"s going to do with the exiles. So I told her, not yet, that we should wait after a few weeks because I would like to confirm that it is really you. But I was sure that the power was coming from you. I just wanted to but myself time to think about how to protect you. I don"t know why but I felt like I need to protect you. There"s something in your aura that tells me you are going to play a very important part in changing the world." She paused to catch her breath.

"After a few weeks, the director was starting to get impatient. She told me that she has given me enough time and I should take her to you or you to her. I tried to divert her attention from you but she was starting to get suspicious of me so I had no choice but to lead her to you." Her bottom lip trembled and my breathing turned erratic. "When she saw you, a knowing expression pa.s.sed her face. It was almost like she knows who you are or what you can do. Her attention then drifted to Chelssey, her expression turned. From soft to hard lines covering her contours, her brows were furrowed as if she"s debating what to do with her though I don"t know why. When we came back home, she told me what has to be done without even coating her words. She told me that Chelssey has to die and I don"t know why. I wanted to ask her but I know better. I tried to follow the warrior that night but she kept me occupied, almost as if she knows what I"m going to do. As soon as I was finished with my work, I snuck out but it was too late. I am so sorry, El. Chelssey would have been alive if it weren"t for me. I am so sorry. And I swear the guilt is still eating me up till now." She sobs and I stare at her image as she broke down. My eye blur with tears I refuse to shed and I push down the emotions that are beginning to consume me.

"After her death, I continue to watch you. I watched as you cry yourself to sleep. I watched as you smile and laugh suddenly only to cry later because you realize that you were alone. I watched as every rustle of leaves will scare you. I watched as the once smiling beautiful girl turns into someone so completely broken. I watched it because that was the only thing that I can do while I try to hide all of your whereabouts from the director. When I saw you being dragged by the hair by a warrior, I decided it was time for me to step out from the shadows. That was our first official meeting. I have sworn to myself by then that I will do everything in my power just to keep you safe. The past few years went smoothly. I let you do what you wanted to do. I knew that you joined the saviors in hopes to get your revenge for Chelssey"s death only for you to lose another friend. I am sorry about what happened to Elisa but I didn"t know until the bombarding in the red square. And then it was like the old days again. You being so torn, being so hopeless for days. I was frustrated because of the efforts that I put just to build you again after Chelssey have been wasted just like that. I didn"t know what to do but then I saw the determination on your face. That"s when I know that you have become stronger, tougher, and smarter because of what you have been through. I love you El, and I love to see you build yourself all over again. I wish you are not ending these videos now because I still have more to say." She smiles sadly. The revelation caused something to stir inside me but I don"t find myself hating and wanting to hurt her because my hatred and anger were directed to the woman she"s working for. Another video begins rolling and I pushed down any sentiment I"m having, making myself numb.

"You became my biggest and darkest secret El as you rise to fame and became the most wanted criminal in the city. I thought I was doing very well in keeping you that way and protecting you but I was wrong. One day, while I was doing my rounds in Fiscala, the director called for me. I drove back to La Mayor in an instant. When I reached her office, she told me that she learned about you, but she said she wasn"t angry about it. She was just hurt that I"d keep something like that to her. She told me that she wants you to join the defiance but I told her no because even though I know what the defiance does. Yes, I knew about it El. Since I was her right hand she ought to tell me everything she does and will do. I was like her secretary before powerful than that. I am sorry I lied to you about my position, I just really don"t know how to tell you without you pulling away from me." She pauses to collect her thoughts before continuing.

"The defiance is an organization arranged by the government. It gathers exiles and told them so many lies. Every time they recruit new ones, they always do the same routine. First, they will get all of the information they need from them then they will be put in a room. There, the doctors will get their blood samples. After that, they will be put into sleep. While they sleep, the doctors will inject serum in them. I don"t know the name of the serum but I know what it does. It alters a person"s memories. That"s why when she wakes up, she"ll think that she was asleep because she"s just tired and nothing more. She"ll also think that she was working for the defiance in a few years when in fact she just got there after a few days. The defiance will tell them that they will be in on a mission to save exiles just like what they told you about the ball but the truth is it was all a trap. Once inside the city, that"s when the ma.s.sacre happens. But some exiles weren"t included in the ma.s.sacre. They are the ones who were put into sleep but they will wake up as part of the government. They will forget what happens to them and will continue their lives as part of the city. I don"t know why they operate like that," she pauses then continues. "I tried to warn you but I can"t. After the director learns about you, she puts a tracker inside me for me to avoid lying to her. The tracker tracks down everything I do. I was afraid that she"ll know what I"ll do so basically, I couldn"t do anything aside to pray that you figure out everything before something bad happened. Unfortunately, my prayer went unanswered. That day when we were heading towards the city, I slipped out after the invisibility fell over us. I thought I can stop the director"s schemes but she locked me up in a room and fortunately, I escaped. I thought I would be on time to get to you but when I get there, you were all engaged in a fight. When I saw that warrior going to stab you, I knew what I needed to do. Maybe it was time for me to repay what I did," I want to ask her how does she know that because obviously this video was made before her death so how? "You must be wondering how I know all about that huh?" She gave me a humorless chuckle. "I asked Milo about my future. She has the vision El so she can see the future. She told me that I might not like what I see but I insisted. Apparently, there were perks in finding out about your future. So don"t be sad okay? Don"t feel guilty about what happened because it was decided a long time ago. Besides, I deserve my death." I want to tell her that no one deserves to die but right now I am not sure about that.

" I have been studying the movement of the government towards exiles ever since I started watching you. At first, I thought that they were doing this for the sake of saving up resources because with our population, soon, we will starve to death but I was wrong. Because the truth is, they are afraid of people like us, people like you who have a robust ability. So I started digging up information. This is what I"ve found out, El, the government is running a secret operation and North is involved in this conspiracy too. The North has men and I know you know about that because you have Raven. In the North, they are living the same way we do. They have exiles there too, and their government is no better than us. I notice a pattern in their movements and in ours. They are picking the exile they are going to kill as if it is some deliberate action. Although I don"t know why they couldn"t just kill all the exiles. I mean, why pick? Why not just kill all of them to shorten their agony. There is also something else. El, there were babies. We can"t reproduce, that"s why our population was at risk but there were babies. They"re our last resort to save us from going extinct." She pauses to take a break while my mind is still struggling to process what she was saying.

"El, we always thought that we couldn"t reproduce and yet toddlers, humans kept on coming and coming, appearing suddenly either in some forest or some part inside the walls of the city, haven"t you thought that something strange was going on? I started getting suspicious at first then I begin gathering information and since I am the right hand, it is not really hard for me. I discover that a woman and a man can produce an embryo in a process called s.e.x. Or intercourse. An embryo is an unborn child inside a woman"s womb, where the embryo will grow until it is ready to come out. The woman will carry the embryo for nine months. Anyways, the government"s process of making an embryo is different from the natural one. They run an experiment where they picked over a hundred fertile women, the same goes in the North. They do the same process. North has men which are the ones responsible for the sperm cells needed for the baby to grow. Once both governments have their desired amount of sperm cells and egg cells, they will begin the breeding process. They put the sperm and egg in a test tube or something like a small capsule, large enough to hold the baby while it grows. Then after that, the babies will stay with them for a few years. They watch the babies" movement, their reactions to different things and once the babies were old enough, they will run a test that will let them know if that kid is supposed to be an exile or someone inside the city. Two categories help them sort out these kids. The first one is safe, meaning normal, no supernatural abilities, or something like that. Another one is dangerous, they are the ones like us and they are thrown in the forest for the warriors to hunt down. As for how the babies or we got these kinds of abilities, I do not know it yet. There"s another thing. After they differentiate the safe from the dangerous ones. The dangerous ones will be separated into two groups. It will be based on the intensity of the wavelength of their abilities. The weak ones are the ones to be turned inside the city while the strong ones are the ones thrown in the forest. They are now known as the exiles and warriors. Once sort out thoroughly, they will be vaccinated by a serum that takes away their memories with the doctors, scientists, and everything. Then some government officials will leave the toddlers in either inside the cities or outside the walls. This explains why we don"t have any memories. This experiment was called as "Rad-Project-Expo 101". It is both run by the northern and southern governments. As for why though, I don"t have a single idea."

"El, I don"t know where you are right now, whether you are thrown in one of their dungeons or you managed to escape during the ma.s.sacre or you are now in the castle but knowing the director you are probably in the castle. I know that she wants to work with you so bad so I am guessing that you are now the current Commander-in-call since she ordered her warriors to kill the last commander-in-call. I don"t know why and I don"t bother knowing. I just really wish that you are the one who"s watching these videos and not some savage sc.u.mbag." I laugh slightly at her reaction. "Anyways, moving on. I"ll show you the list of the government officials you can/can"t cross paths with." The hologram shifted and it flashes me names. There"s a table with two columns where names sit. "The right one is for can and the left is for can"t." I immediately scan the table, my mind went to memorizing mode. The table vanished a moment later and I am still caught up in the middle of it. That"s okay, I"ll just replay it later. "I know I told you that I don"t have the map of the castle which was true at that time. But I manage to stole it when the director was asleep," she gives me a c.o.c.ky smile that says "I hope you are proud of what I did". "I installed a copy in this ribbon. All you have to do is to touch the "black hunter" text. Then an image of the map will pop out from there. If I am guessing right that you are really inside the castle then the director must have put you in a room where there"s no window aside from one door and there are no other appliances aside from the bed you are sitting slash lying onto. There are bugs everywhere and I pray to the G.o.ds that you manage to disable them before I open my big mouth. By the way, if you are wondering if there"s CCTV in there, don"t worry there"s none and there"s no bug in the chandelier. By the way, that room has a secret pa.s.sageway on its right wall." I look at the right wall and study it but I don"t see an outline or anything that may indicate that there"s a pa.s.sageway hiding somewhere. "It might look like it"s not there but it is there. The key is in your bed"s headboard. You"ll see two small circles in the middle of the headboard, it might look like a part of the design but if you put your fingers inside the shift it a little, the door will open." I turn to the headboard and saw the two small circles, yes it is hard to see but when you are this close you can see it immediately. "No, don"t try it yet," she said just as I was about to put my fingers in. I roll my eyes, even dead she is still as a tyrant as ever. "That door leads to all of the dungeons so you can find where our friends are being locked up. That tunnel also leads to the far end of the barracks though if you walk from here to there, it might take you a good 12 hours of walking." She chuckles. It is the sound that pierces through my heart.

"Have you visited the barracks yet? Well, I am sure that the director will make you visit it one day so I"ll tell you beforehand or you already visited?" I shake my head at her sudden change of att.i.tude, earlier she was crying and she turned serious and now she"s like this?! "Anyways, I don"t care. I"ll tell you in the far end of the barracks, you will see a small cave-like opening, it leads outside. I mean, like outside really. A few cries from that opening is the border leading to the North. The fence may say "high voltage" or something but doesn"t believe it, just cross it because that is just to keep idiots away. Don"t worry El, the north isn"t like what they said. It actually looked a little bit creepy but not as bad as you think it is. Yes, El. I have crossed the borders," right then I heard the twisting of the doork.n.o.b so I instantly close the hologram. I give the dove a little pinch and the hologram disappears. I shove all of the bugs on the floor under my bed though I am pretty sure that they will soon find out that it is still worth a try. Then I tucked myself to a fake sleep just as the door burst open and two new warriors stood by the door, guarding me.