Contradicting Worlds

"Wait up chels!" I stumble to move forward. "Wait for me!"

"You have to move faster El," she shouts in a playful voice. I stop when I finally reach her, my hands on my knees, I am breathing heavily from running. "With that long legs of yours you couldn"t even save me!" Her voice became harsher. I look up to her. Her dress is now replaced with a tattered t-shirt and jeans. Her face is bloodied, dirty, and filled with filth.

"I-I-I"m a sorry chels," I said in a low voice. "I tried I promise--believe me---I promise--I tried---" I reach for her hand but she takes it back as if my touch burns her. I flinch inwardly.

"No. You didn"t!" she shouted. "If you did I wouldn"t have died! I wouldn"t have died! If you were faster! If you weren"t scared I wouldn"t have died!"

"No no no no no no no," I said. "I tried to save you but I was too late." I am on my knees now.

Then my dream shifts. Suddenly I am sitting on the leaves with Chelsey"s body in my hands. My body felt numb for a moment and I scream my lungs out.

My eyes fly open. I struggle for breathing. A hand eases my forehead. "Hey, it"s okay," I know that it"s Raven"s voice. My eyes search around. Everything is blinding white. There is a machine beside me that keeps on beeping. I have an oxygen mask too.

"Where are we?" I manage to ask Raven. I tried to sit up but before I can do so my ribs suddenly hurt and it made me lie back down again. I grunted in pain.

"Don"t force yourself," he said. He started to move away but I caught his arm.

"I said, where the h.e.l.l are we?" I said through gritted teeth. I glare at him when he doesn"t reply. "What did you do?" I reach for his arm.

"It"s the only way that could save you," he said. He removes my hand from gripping his arm.

"We don"t know these people," I said.

"We are not the bad ones," we turn from the voice. We look at the woman standing in the doorway. She"s the same person that talked to me last time, the one who offered me to join her team. She crosses the room.

"Yeah?" I retort. "How could I know that?"

"Oh you wouldn"t have known because if we were bad people you would be dead by now," she spat back. Raven glared at her.

"Maybe you want something from me?" I said.

"Don"t think too highly of yourself," I flinch at her reply. I open my mouth to fight back but Raven"s words cut me off.

"Don"t start a fight with her," I thought he"s talking to me but he is looking at the woman. "She"s just regained her consciousness. If we had a choice I wouldn"t have needed your help."

"What?" I ask him. "You are getting in touch with her? Since when?"

"I"m sorry," he looks so worn out. He runs a hand through his hair. Suddenly he looks older, more tired, then I notice the dark circles under his eyes. "It"s just that we were running out of medicines and I"m not in a position to buy you one. You were burning fire, your fever won"t just get down so I asked for her help. And when we were in the woods your wound won"t heal. I panicked so I asked her again." He spoke rapidly and when he looked at me I saw something flicker in his eyes worry I guess.

"What makes you think that they," I look at the girl. "would help us for free?"

"Okay," the girl said. "Since I was just here for checking you," she gives me an exasperated look. "I would leave now so you two can talk." She walks out of the door.

I look at Raven now. "I"ve made a bargain." I didn"t reply implying for him to talk more. "In exchange for taking care of you we have to work for them," my hand clutches the bed sheets so hard that I can feel my nails digging in my palm. "I told them that they can take me but they don"t want to and I can"t just leave you on their hands so I agree with their terms in order to save your life."

"You"ve got no rights to decide what happens to me! You should have just left me instead of making this bargain," it came out harsher than I intend it to be. His face contorts.

"Yea and what? I would die because of guilt?" he started to raise his voice.

"Oh, so you save me out of guilt?" I give him a sarcastic laugh.

"No!" he shouts and I flinch."I"m sorry," he looks exhausted. He sat back on his chair. "I-It"s hard to talk to you this way. Maybe you should get some sleep, the doctor said--"

"You don"t know what they would make us do," I cut him off. "They allied with the Government. Who knows maybe they would order us to kill exiles? And I don"t kill Exiles!" My voice breaks and I begun to sob. Abruptly, I am crying. His expression softens. He reached for me and suddenly I was being enveloped by his warmth. His arms circle around me. His hand smooth my back and I bury my head in his shoulders. I am shaking uncontrollably and he"s saying soothing words to me.

"I know, I know," he whispers. "I"ll figure things out okay? Don"t worry. I"ll get us out of here." I force myself to nod. We stayed like that for a while before I can finally fall asleep.

It took me a week before I can finally get out of my bed. Within those few days, Raven had always been there for me, whenever I woke up from nightmares he would be there telling me stories or singing me a lullaby or he would kiss my forehead and tell me that everything"s okay. It was probably the first time I let anyone ever did that to me. Not even Micha. Micha. A sudden jolt of panic runs through me as I remember my best friend. How I hope that she"s alright.

There"s a knock on my door. "Come in," I called out. Raven greeted me with his beautiful smile. It"s the smile that I want him to wear everyday because he looks dazzling. It makes my heart flutters. "I"m almost done," I said to him while combing my hair.

"I"ll be outside." He said then walked out. It"s going to be my first time in a week to be out of the hospital ward. I pull the door open to see Raven standing outside, hands in his pockets. He"s wearing black pants and a black t-shirt the same goes for me. He looks at me then offers me his hand and I take it gratefully. We walk in silence, most people glance at us or take a second look, it made me feel quite uncomfortable. His hands tighten in mine.

"We"re almost there," he said.

"Where are we going? I thought you would take me to my room." I stare at him quizzically. His body went rigid beside me when we encounter a door.

"I am going to take you there but before that, it"s time for you to meet The Defiance." He pushes it open.

Inside the room, almost 10 women are sitting around a long table. They"re all wearing the same outfits, black leather jeans, black t-shirts, some wear denim cardigans over their t-shirts. A woman is standing at the head of the table. It seems like we have interrupted a very important meeting. 10 pair of eyes are looking at us. My eyes found the girl that"s been checking on me. She stares at me like I might do something dangerously. I rolled my eyes as if I could.

"Hi there Ms. Ellie," the woman at the head of the table said. Her hair is as white as silver and as straight as a wire but it runs smoothly down her back. Her eyes were the perfect shade of blue. Her pale skin shines out in the dark. Her lips were as red as blood. I gape at her perfectness. "Please take a seat," she smiles politely. I broke out from my reverie and found an empty chair then went to claim it. But before I can even take a step a girl came running towards me, her arms wide open, then suddenly her arms were around me. "Glad you"re alright," Micha said. Pulling me in a tight breathe-catching hug. "Sorry I couldn"t visit you I was busy working." She releases me 5 seconds later. She looks at me with wary eyes.

"You work for them?" I ask her. She nods, seeming reluctant at the thought of me knowing. But I don"t care, I"m fine with it as long as she"s fine.

"Please take a seat Miss Ellie and Micha please refrain from crushing Miss Ellie with your hug. She"s still healing." I saw Micha blush with embarra.s.sment but she nods anyway and returns to her seat. She sat beside the girl with a scar. I watch as they fell into a deep conversation. Raven is standing on the other side of the room his hands were folded behind him. He"s emotionless that he almost looks like the warriors. I shuddered at the thought. "Allow me to introduce myself first Ms. Ellie," she started. I shifted slightly on my chair, not use to being so formal. " I am one of the head director and founder of the defiance." Her voice echoes around the room. Everyone but me is bored to death as she states the rules and regulations and how the defiance work. I let out a breath of relief when she said that their main priority is to save exiles and not to kill them, she looked at me when she said that and I can feel my cheeks burning.

My eyes scan the room, only now that I notice that there"s no light in the room but we could see each other clearly. A hologram of a bar graph suddenly appeared in the middle of the table. "This is the current state of our population," I a.n.a.lyze the graph carefully. As years go by, the population is dropping at an alarming rate. But then every two years it will increase by 2%-3% and then drop dramatically the next year.

My eyes narrow trying to find the source of the hologram but made no progress until my eyes rested on a girl near the end of the table. She eyes intently the hologram, her eyes moving back and forth as though she"s...then I gasp aloud. They turn their heads toward my direction and I duck my head from embarra.s.sment. Raven just smiles at me and I return the smile. "Every two years the population rate will increase very little and then drop dramatically at the next year," she said stating the obvious. "Despite all this-"--she motions for the hologram--"-the government still gave a memorandum to kill exiles on sight. Kill every people that hides exiles in their houses. Every day the warriors will raid every house for inspection," her eyes turn cold. "Many people have been slaughtered. And the warriors are enjoying this. Some of the government officials disagree with the decision," her eyes turn towards Micha and she nods. "But, of course, they can"t defy the president, directly." She put an emphasis on the last word. "That"s how we were formed. Yes, I myself is part of the Government and am very close to the President, in fact, I am her secretary. If you wonder if I have encountered the President, I have not. She"s been keeping herself inside her little chamber in the capitol with no one but her most trusted allies." She circles the room leisurely. "We do not know yet the exact reason of this death blow but we"re sure about one thing. It"s what they want."

The meeting ended shortly after. We talked about the main goal which I found slightly absurd cause for one there"s no way we could take down an entire army of warriors with only 300 or more unskilled fighters with us. The warriors could be thousands or more though part of me wanted all of those b.u.t.t-faced warriors to die together with their most beloved President.

When the meeting was finished I got a chance to talked with the Head. "Ah!" she said with delight. "Miss Ellie, I a.s.sume you"re here to ask what happened to the other Black Hunters?" she smiled pleasantly and tilted her head to the side. "I can a.s.sure you that they are fine." I had let out a sigh of relief. My kids. My children. All safe.

"So you also know that I am not the only Black Hunter?" I had said though my voice was tight with something I cannot quite fathom, maybe anger or worry?

"You seem to underestimate us, Miss Ellie. We know a lot about you and your little team lurking in the woods." Her smile lingered. "Though I have to approve that you made a very impressive crew, going against every warrior without even proper training!" her eyes shimmered. "You know I would be very glad to take your whole party here. Partly because we might need their help and because their safer here." My eyes looked at her in horror. No. Not my kids. Not them. Don"t drag them here. But the words were stuck in my throat. Then I began to tremble. "Oh! I"m sorry! Of course, it is still yours to decide." I had turned around then and left the room, staring at nothing.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice broke me out of my reverie. I turn and see Raven watching me with wary eyes.

"Yep," I said with false enthusiasm. "Just a little bit tired."

"Well, you will have your rest now princess," I turn around to see a woman--smirking--leaning against the doorway. Her arms cross above her chest, her hair tied in a ponytail. She looks at me mockingly and I glared back. She diverts her attention to Raven. "You two have to share this room. Don"t worry there are two beds here so you don"t have to share one but it"s okay if you want to," she grins wickedly and strode out of the room.

When we went inside the room is fully furnished with two beds on either side. I settled on the bed closest to the window because I feel like I"m not going to sleep well tonight and I might find myself staring into nothingness. The room felt cold, a shiver runs down my spine. I rub my shoulders. I am used to the coldness of course but this is different. Raven crosses the room then press something like a switch on the wall. The temperature became utterly warm.

"Better?" he asked, turning to look at me.

"Think so?" I answered back. I eyed him curiously. "Weren"t you an exile?"My voice is more of an accusation than a question. His back stiffens.

"I am," he recovers himself almost immediately. "I watch them do that when you were unconscious."

"Oh," I muttered. For a moment we just stand there staring at each other awkwardly. I cleared my throat. "Well, I"m going to get some sleep. I"m quite tired. Uhm, Goodnight?"

"Goodnight," he answered shortly. I go to bed and let sleep take over my system.

The dream came clearer this time. I am inside the woods, like in the middle of it with nothing but an old crossbow. "El," a voice whispered in my ear. I turn around sharply, crossbow raised. "El," it was clearer now. The woods are now echoing my name. I clamp my hands to my ears. My knees recoil under me and I scream.

My eyes fly open and I am screaming like in my dream. I saw Raven sat up immediately then he walked towards me. His eyes wide with worry as he sits down next to me. He carefully put his arms around me. He patted my hair soothingly and I let myself cry. My tears keep coming.

I didn"t know when I stop but somehow Raven"s presence help ease my mood. "Are you okay now?" He said while gently running a hand down on my hair. I shake my head. It"s true I am not yet okay. I snuggle closer in his arms and his embrace tightens. I let out a shaky breath, he kisses my forehead. The moon casts a light in the room. I was half surprised when I found myself embracing him back but I don"t want to care. I want his company. I long for it. I want him.

"Can you sleep beside me?" I look for his expression at the same time he looks at me. I can feel his heartbeat against my chest, his hesitant breaths against my face. We are so close to each other that if any of us dare to make a move our lips will meet. I am starting to hyperventilate when he answers.

"Okay," he whispers. I didn"t know if it was me or him or maybe we both reach for each other. His lips are gentle and hesitant against mine like I am something vulnerable. His other hand is cupping my face while mine is entangled with his hair. Our tongues are lock with each other. He pulls me tighter. Our kiss lasts a long time.

When we break away I can hardly ventilate. His breathing is as quick as mine. "Sleep," he said.

"Sleep," I agreed. My heart beats in disappointment but I push it away. We shifted on the bed so that we are lying comfortably side by side. Our arms circle each other and I breathe in his scent. He smells sweet and a little soapy. I giggle. He raise an eyebrow. "Nothing," I said smiling as I nestle in his arms. For once I know that my nightmare wouldn"t come back for the night.