The floor was cold, but the feeling didn"t bother me at that moment. Partly because the damage I had sustained was more severe than how uncomfortable the floor was. But also because victory had been achieved and I was feeling the relief of that, even though I hadn"t contributed to that victory one bit. Anami was staring down at me with a warm smile, probably feeling the same relief I was. I tilted my head to the previously kidnapped Sora, who sat on the ground with a mild smile on her. I used some of my last strength to turn around towards her, after realizing the situation. I bowed my head down and said"I said it earlier, but I thought I"d reiterate it: I"m sorry for getting you kidnapped.
I even failed to save you, despite you using a favor on me. There were so many things that led to this, so I"m really sorry about everything, Sora. I"m not gonna say "I don"t expect you to forgive me", because you just shouldn"t.
In fact…"
I turned a little to the left, facing everybody present, and said
"I"m really sorry everyone, for what I said back in the infirmary room. I was getting ahead of myself, blaming everybody for dumb stuff, dragging you all through the ground. I was wrong, and you are all apparently nice people. Even though I know it"s an act for something, you have all treated me nicely despite me being me. So, once again:
I AM SORRY!"
At some point, I"d gotten some tears running down my cheek, making it an even more pitiable sight. The audience was split in reactions, some shocked and some smiling. Sora said with a wide smile
"Favour number 2: Raise your head."
I raised it, pointing it towards Sora"s bright face. She suddenly reached her hand out and placed it on my cheek, making me instantly draw my eyes toward it in shock. She said
"You tried your best, Kenjiro. I"m really happy that you tried your best to save me, even risking your already damaged body. I was wrong when I a.s.sumed that you were just another person lying, you are more honest than anybody I know. So, I"m sorry."
I smiled awkwardly as I said
"Umm, Okay, I see. But you really shouldn"t----"
My energy had been eradicated, leaving only a sh.e.l.l of a body to interact. But even that was impossible after a while and I collapsed onto the floor again, this time not being able to take a grasp on my consciousness.
"Kenjiro!"
Aya quickly approached my body as Sora quickly pondered
"Perhaps me apologizing was too much to take."
Aya sighed as she grabbed my body and said
"I just think he"s out of energy, for obvious reasons. Also, you made it awkward by having that whole scene play out in front of us."
Sora quickly became light red as she thought about it and said
"No, I didn"t mean it like----"
Aya just picked up my body with a blank facial expression and responded
"Whatever, just say stuff like that in private next time. Come on, let"s all carry him home, we don"t have that much time."
Anami found a point of attack for her to dig at and said
"Woah, acting so cold towards your friend who got kidnapped. Could it be that you"re jealous over something? Like you not being saved?"
Aya exhaled and said
"Not really, you"re telling falsehoods."
Anami smiled and remarked
"I see"
Narino ignored the teasing and went over to Sora quickly
"I"m so happy that you"re okay! I was worried."
Sora laughed wryly when the hug commenced. Kanton just stood around, waiting for everyone to be finished. His main objective had failed drastically, Anami and Kenjiro stole the spotlight of saving Sora. He thought about how cynical and selfish it was for him to care about that so much, instead of worrying about his friend more. But he chucked it up to the usual human weaknesses and walked forward a couple of steps to prepare for departure.
The seemingly never-ending night drew to a close as they all calmly walked home again, reflecting on the events of the day.
Anami, especially, had a lot to reflect on. She thought that she should set up some safety measures to restrict these kinds of things from happening. It was ultimately her responsibility, as the club president, to make sure stuff like that didn"t happen to her club members. Especially when the club"s subject was so easily corrupted when people with evil intentions were handed the sought-after Kaito powers.
Anami Kowabuki flashed a very anxious-filled smile.
…
My eyes opened up to a familiar sight, a sight I saw every day in the morning. One thing deviated from the norm though, something that caught my eye instantly. I said
"Umm, excuse me. I think you"re at the wrong place"
No reaction happened, so I poked a little bit.
Suddenly, a head flew into the air from having rested on the bed. The blue hair danced in the air as a confused girl locked her eyes onto me.
I opened my mouth and just sat there for a moment, while both of us exchanged looks quietly.
I said slowly
"Since you slept, you didn"t hear. So I"ll repeat it, much to my own awkwardness. But, I think you"re at the wrong place"
Sora Ikutsu quietly panicked as she realized her situation with messy hair and a crude sleeping position. Being raised as a lady in a rich household didn"t allow her so show such a sight to people. She frantically looked around, resting her eyes for short amounts of time at the different anime merchandise around the room, and then looked at me, bowing her head down slightly, and said
"I"m sorry for showing you such a sight."
I chuckled awkwardly as I quickly said
"Nah, that"s not what I"m worried about. Actually, that doesn"t even bother me a bit. I just think that you being here, at my uncle"s house. I mean, you"re rich, right? You"re not supposed to be here."
Sora first smiled a bit but later threw her head back in confusion as she registered the latter part, she responded
"What"s that supposed to mean? Are affluent people not allowed here?"
I shook my head frantically, I tried to correct my point by saying
"No, no, no. I"m just saying that I"m not that rich, in fact, I think we"re average. I just thought that you being here broke some social codes."
Sora stood up slowly and said
"Me looking like this in front of people is already breaking a social code."
I nodded and said
"Point taken"
Sora smiled and said
"Beside---"
*ACHOO*
A sneeze directly targeted at me flew. I noticed it quickly and took action immediately.
"Not my fetish, not today!"
I quickly jumped out of the bed and successfully evaded the sneeze, but that landed me a spot on the ground instead as I quickly fell down. The scars from yesterday showed themselves at the most convenient time.
I said
"Are you okay, Sora?"
Sora, having her eyes closed from the blast, said
"Yeah, I just got a cold after yesterday"s thing. In fact, that"s why I"m here today I think, to take care of you today since you"re hurt. So…
WAIT, You"re hurt already!? Am I this incompetent!?"
Sora quickly rushed over to a.s.sist me and brought me to the kitchen. She placed me down on a chair next to a kitchen table, the kitchen table I usually ate breakfast at with my uncle. I didn"t really use it otherwise since I usually didn"t have time in the morning for it.
I said
"But you"re also sick, shouldn"t you be home taking care of yourself? You have no reason to a.s.sist me, you know, me being so worthless. It"s really a waste of time."
Sora commented
"I"m not the best at this sort of stuff, because the maids would usually take care of me at home. But, I feel like I owe you after yesterday."
I turned my head sideways and said
""owe"? If I remember correctly, I lost yesterday and failed to rescue you. That"s not something one owes another one over. You owe someone after doing something useful, something I"m incapable of doing."
Sora sighed as she started preparing breakfast, she brushed over my comment and quietly said
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
I lashed out and said
"That"s not a whatever-moment! This is seriously serious! See what I did? Anyways, my point still stands. Don"t call me ungrateful, because that"ll hurt my feelings. I know I deserve it, but it"s just so early for those comments."
Sora continued with her work as she scrambled eggs, and commented
"I"m not Anami."
I just replied
"Point taken."
Sora quickly retorted
"What point!? We weren"t even arguing, you were just trying to predict the future and failed, hence me making a comment."
I nodded, with temptations floating around in my head, but sat in silence.
"..."
Sora grabbed a hold of a spatula with two intentions in mind. She hoped only one of those intentions were necessary. I continued my silence with silent slow nodding as I looked around. I stared at the clock above the fridge until I got bored with the constant thoughts in my head, I had to say it.
"Po--"
The eggs sizzled frighteningly as the frying pan moved locations, just like a certain person"s head did as it turned a little to the right. The crushing tension only tempted me more, resulting in the following being said
"Point taken"
I quickly ducked my head to avoid the incoming spatula, which succeeded as I felt it fly by my head onto the wall beside me. I got to witness the face of the thrower as she turned around. She had a smile on her face, unlike what I had expected like she was enjoying it. If another Anami was in the making, I didn"t know. I just wished that wasn"t the case. An awkward air took its place as we both returned to our positions.
But it wasn"t just the awkward air that came after an event such as this, that air also occupied the room. But it wasn"t all of it.
There was a dreadful hollowness lingering in our minds. We were both entertained, but something lacked. Like climbing a mountain, but never being able to reach the final rock to push yourself up: An irritation could be felt deep within stemming from that hollowness. It wasn"t anything to you could think about though, it laid deep within our hearts and away from our consciousnesses to grasp a hold of.
I shook my head strongly, for some inexplicable reason, while staring at the clock once again. Putting my attention towards it made me come to a realization.
-I"m going to miss Pak.u.man!
I have to get there, or my life is over. Which is not going to happen if I move quickly.
Well, maybe it actually will end. My legs really hurt, even now when I"m just sitting down. But, I don"t care!
This body is a mere vessel for me to enjoy what I want to do, and also things I"m forced to do. Not that I enjoy those that much, despite my willingness to do them.
It"s a very selfish desire, but as long as it only affects me it doesn"t matter if it"s selfish or not.
Let"s go, quickly! -
Sora, standing by the stove, thought to herself
- I wish that Kenjiro would calm down a bit, he"s been very active today.
I wonder why…? Maybe he just acts like this when he"s home.
Or is he trying to… compensate for something? Like he"s wearing a social mask to hide something. He doesn"t seem very aware of it though, maybe he"s unaware of it himself. Although, Occam"s razor I suppose.-
Sora quickly changed her perception to the eggs again, thinking
-Dumb thoughts, That doesn"t seem reasonable at all. This is just his usual behavior, nothing weird. I must"ve read too much poetry yesterday… Or played too much Persona V, both are possible. -
"Level 2.0, Level 3.0!"
I quickly rose up and tried to dash, but instantly failed the same moment I realized nothing about me had changed. With no powers to support my muscles, they quickly surrendered and braced for the incoming fall. As I was falling down towards the ground, Sora burned her finger mildly and drenched it in water
*BAN*
I fell down again, reminding me of the fall I took that same morning. As Sora Ikutsu turned around, I quickly said
"Are you okay, Sora?"
Sora got a shiver down her spine as she pondered on what could"ve happened, she commented
"Not..."
Witnessing her legs turn around from my perspective on the ground, I heard Sora stressing her way to finish the comment
"AGAIN!? How do you even manage!? I thought I told you to not move! What are you, A child!?
Geez, what is with you today?
You overexerted yourself yesterday, you"re not going to have the energy to use Kaito powers for a couple of days."
The guilt hit me in a strange way, like an arrow from the 1100s most skilled archer: Something that should"ve been impossible, but happened right in front of me.
I was sat down on the chair again, with my mind spinning in confusion.
- What did I just do? Did my sense of consequence suddenly evaporate? Did I, Kenjiro Asukara, actually expect me, Kenjiro Asukara, to succeed in that? What?-
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A beautiful-looking plate of scrambled eggs placed itself in front of me as I apologetically looked at it. I mumbled
"I"m sorry. I don"t know."
I then dug into the food while it was still hot, enjoying the meal. But I wasn"t really in a good mood, as the air grew stale once again.
The day continued in a similar pattern, I would suddenly lose my sense of consequence and act in a way that wasn"t meant with the state of my body. I would regain it and regret it, causing trouble for someone who, not only was sick, but was also nice enough to help me on my bad day.
The hollowness grew stronger and more imminent as the day progressed: Increasing the subtle irritation, but also drawing it closer to our consciousness.
…
"You sure you can go alone?"
Sora, with an extraordinarily blank facial expression, stood by the door slightly turned towards Kenjiro. She responded, with her voice carrying an echo to the sofa in the living room
"Yeah, it"s fine. I feel a bit better. Besides, they don"t know where you live so n.o.body is going to kidnap me."
With that simple answer, Sora opened the door and left, leaving a silent Kenjiro staring at a completely black TV. He tapped his foot against the floor subconsciously as he felt unsatisfied. Irritated, Kenjiro started frantically looking around the room for no apparent reason. Something was clawing his heart from the inside, digging a hollow hole there. The unexplained disappointment paralyzed him for a moment.
He then got the flash, striking his brain: Enlightening him to a certain extent. Kenjiro got an urgent feeling to talk to Sora and tell her, but he was unable to walk. He could move them, but it was impossible to walk or run, something he"d tried several times during the day.
Kenjiro thought to himself
- I must talk to Sora!
Please, Just give me the ability to run or walk, someone!
Who am I kidding, There"s no G.o.d listening to people like me-
I stood up out of habit, since I was getting hungry and immediately felt something different. Out of curiosity, I took a step forward, the worst thing that could happen was that I"d fall and have to crawl to the sofa again. It worked, and I stared in awe. I was about to start talking, and thank some G.o.d but a push notification showed itself in front of me, saying
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank me later, although you won"t be able to do anything tomorrow.
I hope you"re prepared.
- Your faithful Servant
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I smiled as I started sprinting to the front door. I did get uncomfortable by the servant-part, but I couldn"t have been more grateful for Kaita. Since I wouldn"t have anything to do tomorrow, I thought that I probably could make a visit to her.
I ran out of the door, closing it after, and sprinted towards the train station. I didn"t know where she lived, but took a guess as to how she got here.
Couples were casually walking around the street, delinquents were holding themselves to the side-streets and salary-men late from work hurriedly walked home. I sprinted in the middle of the street, drawing attention from all types of onlookers as it broke an unwritten rule. A blue head of hair showed itself a couple of meters in front of me, making me rush faster. I recognized the school uniform as I neared.
"Sora!"
A couple of meters ahead of me, she suddenly stopped and looked back. As her eyes locked to mine, a sight mixed of surprise and relief revealed itself. Bystanders hastily flew by, with half-irritated looks at the disruption of order. A similar feeling I and Sora had felt during the day, but without a clear cause attached to it. Instead, the feeling of emptiness had triumphed in our hearts, silently worsening our day, inexplicably. That was probably how it was, a feeling being felt without a reason. But that wouldn"t stop me from trying to fix it, or drawing attention to it at the very least. I"d been a pain that day, and the thought of those hollow and irritating feelings being present in Sora as well brought me to the conclusion that it would only make me a worse person. I had to try and fix it, with the thought I got earlier in a flash.
With a slightly bewildered look, Sora stared at me and exclaimed
"What are you doing here? How can you even stand up?"
I said with a nervous smile
"Something was wrong today, right? You felt it too. That hollowness lingering around."
Sora felt slightly exposed as she stared in shock, she thought that she was the only one gradually getting that feeling, and that she"d hidden it well. With Sora"s attention completely drawn, I continued
"I think I maybe know what caused it, on my part at least…
I don"t know much about you!
Like, I don"t know any of your favorite foods, color, books, or most importantly, hobbies! I have no idea what you like, or like to do. I think I was acting in such an attention-drawing way today as a compensation mechanism for not knowing how to interact with you. I had no idea about what to talk with you about, or what you found acceptable to talk about. So, I just lost myself in idiocy and thoughtless actions. Those actions were probably meant by my body as safe bets in terms of interactions, but they ended doing even more harm. That"s how useless my body, and mind, are. So, please: What are some of your hobbies!?"
Sora got the feeling of understanding as she confirmed her earlier thoughts. She thought
-So I was kinda right, he was putting on a social mask to try and mask his awkwardness from not knowing how to interact with me. His insecurity and lack of confidence in his own ability led him to act that way… That"s kind of a good theme for a poem-
Sora took a couple of steps forward, slightly closing the gap between them and allowing people to pa.s.s behind her. She smiled and chuckled slightly, a sight I"d barely seen all day. Sora responded
"I see, well I have a couple of hobbies. For example, I like poetry, Cla.s.sical music, and fashion.
…
I guess it would be okay to tell you. I don"t really tell people this, for various reasons, but I also like video games."
I lightened up at the reveal and quickly asked
"Really!? Which games do you like?"
Sora smiled warmly and excitedly answered
"Well, I play and like a bunch, but right now I really like Persona V"
I gave a thumbs-up as I smiled slightly, and said
"I"m glad we could have this talk. But it"s getting late, so you should probably head home soon."
Sora nodded as she stood up, changing the smile to a slight smirk as she started walking towards the other direction. She thought
-I"m really happy we were able to have that talk, and future situations like the one today can now be avoided.
So… why…?
Why do I still have that hollowness in my heart? Now attached with a heavy, depressing feeling? -
I stared at Sora as she started walking, A gut feeling told me something was wrong. I did have another thought from before that I thought was obvious but it was strange that she didn"t mention it once. She even a.s.sured me of the opposite several times. Maybe I was going out on a limb, but it didn"t feel right to leave things like that.
I raised a finger and said once again
"Sora."
She instantly turned around, staring at me with a patient expression, as she"d subconsciously hoped for it. I returned to my more somber state, with a neutral face and a serious pair of eyes.
The patient expression switched to an antic.i.p.ating expression as Sora stared at my blank, quiet face. I looked up and into her eyes and said
"Why are you committing your own worst crime?"
Sora tilted her head as she asked
"What?"
I continued
"Lying. I don"t know if you"re only doing it to me, or, subconsciously, to yourself as well. But you"re lying, and committing your own worst crime."
Sora Ikutsu did have an idea of what I was referring to, but didn"t fully know herself, nor did she want to peer into her mind. She asked calmly, while keeping a wary and cautious look on her face
"What do you mean…?"
I lowered myself towards the ground, as the strain in my legs wasn"t pleasant. I looked up and said
"You were disappointed yesterday. When I didn"t singlehandedly save you, when I tried to rescue you with all I had and failed. It"s not like I don"t know, I"m just surprised you didn"t mention a single time."
Sora got scared.
Her true feelings scared her, making her more paranoid: raising her shoulders slightly, more aware of her surroundings and more focused.
She didn"t even know it herself necessarily, it was deeply hidden inside her. It laid there out of respect and care for Kenjiro, a desire to not hurt his feelings. She didn"t want to know about it, but the root of the devil was found: the devil clawing her heart, digging a hole through it.
Kenjiro, being hyper-aware of his actions, especially concerning his performance around people, had already reached that conclusion the day before when he had seen Sora"s eyes.
Sora quickly looked up to see if it had started raining, but her keen awareness of her surroundings told her it hadn"t. She wiped the drop of water from her cheek and realized that it was a tear. She looked over at Kenjiro, who sat completely still with a slightly shocked look, and got a sudden urge.
Kenjiro, becoming even more shocked, stared quietly as Sora quickly embraced him in a one-sided hug.
She said, with more tears starting to float down her cheek
"I"m sorry, you were right. I was immersed in a mix of disappointment and happiness yesterday. Despite you trying your hardest, I was left with an underwhelming feeling after you got knocked down.
I…
"
Some more tears fell down, eventually departing from her face and landing softly on my dirty school jacket. She continued to speak, although her voice was a little more masked. Her soft voice was channeled directly into my left ear
"I was waiting on a Knight in Shining Armour; to save me from my despair; To save me from my hopelessness; To save me from my own weaknesses. The same Knight in shining armor that would save the damsel in distress in all of the bedtime stories my mom used to read for me.
I put that responsibility on you, without even knowing it. Somewhere deep within me, that desire dwelled.
I"m sorry!"
The tears continued, with me staring forward in shock. It was what I had expected, but the nuance made it different. I didn"t expect that reason to be why, nor did I expect a sudden embrace. And I didn"t expect such a reaction.
Something that felt like a normal fact of life to me had such an emotional weight to her.
I tried to squeeze in some words, I said
"It"s no news to me, I saw it yesterday already. In your eyes."
Sora paused for a moment and asked
"My eyes…?"
I continued
"But it"s totally fine, isn"t it? It was only obvious that something like this would happen. You only put a little too much faith into the worst person in the world, that"s all. It"s a very minor crime. In fact, you"re probably sad now because you think that it hurt my feelings.
But, it didn"t.
I already knew about it.
So...
You don"t have to feel bad about it."
The words left Sora Ikutsu in a state of shock, no words being able to leave her body. The feeling of hollowness had left her body, her heart felt whole again. But she wasn"t able to pinpoint exactly when it disappeared. With no words to say, Sora drew her eyes towards the star-filled sky. I suddenly had a thought strike my mind, and decided to spill it out through my mouth. I drew my eyes towards the star-filled sky, following Sora"s lead, and said slowly
"I don"t think we had the same feeling of hollowness.
Mine was one of unknowing, not knowing how to interact and talk with you. I didn"t know what to do, which made my demon dig a hole through my heart as I stumbled around like a true idiot.
Yours was different though. I don"t think lying is healthy for a person, because it just clouds one"s true self in a sea of dishonesty. I think the truth always comes out in the end. So, when you have involved yourself in a web of lies and the truth comes out: Who are you?
You felt guilt gripping hold of you. Your demon wasn"t digging a hole through your heart, it was embracing it with all of its strength. It gripped your heart so strongly that its arms dug through the center of your heart.
But…
We killed that demon, didn"t we?"
Sora slowly stood up and grabbed her own wrist whilst looking down at me quietly. She flashed a smile quickly and said
"Maybe… my deep desire wasn"t unfulfilled after all"
Hastily, she ran away and into the still-crowded street.
I scratched my head while looking up, quietly saying
"What?"
I raised myself up, but felt a sharp pain in my legs, making me think
-d.a.m.nit, wouldn"t I like a Knight in Shining Armour right now."
...