We know so little of him, and there is such a mystery about the family.
_Wednesday, January 1st., 1851._
I wish you a happy new year, dear mother. Eugene came early this morning with his bright face to wish us the same. He said his father had sent him out for a walk, and he invited Pauline and Nelly to accompany him. I gave my consent, though with some reluctance. The truth is, he is one of those lovely young men, who when they are present carry all before them.
Frank took the opportunity to walk over and see his father.
Colonel Clifford really smiled when told that his son had called and taken off the young ladies for a walk; but a tear stood in his eye as he replied, "Eugene has never had an opportunity to be much in the company of ladies. I am very much pleased that he has chosen such society." He again expressed grat.i.tude for our kindness to his poor boy, who would soon be an orphan. The Doctor, at Colonel Clifford"s request, prayed with him. After prayer, Frank told him he was a Doctor, not of divinity, but of medicine. He thought the Colonel was disappointed, but after a moment"s silence he replied, "a pious physician has a great opportunity to do good." The Doctor is more and more pleased with him.
Pauline and Nelly returned in fine spirits from their walk, and repeated to me most of the conversation which had pa.s.sed. Pauline said their companion had requested them to call him Eugene now that they were so well acquainted; and also that he was entirely reconciled to the plan of his father"s spending the winter here, which he at first thought would he dismal enough.
I don"t think Eugene realizes that probably his father will not live through the winter.
_Thursday, January 2nd._
Eugene has completely won me over. He came in to-day and appeared as glad to see us, as if we had not met for a week. He sat down by me in the most artless manner; and taking a skein of silk from Franky, who was getting it into a sad snarl, said he had a favor to ask of me; and if I would grant it he should be very happy.
He looked at me so earnestly, that I told him with a smile, I thought I might venture to promise, if it were nothing very unreasonable.
For a moment he cast his eyes down; and then said with perfect _naivete_, "I thought of it last night after the conversation here, about my not remembering my mother; and this morning I told father, and he approves it very much if you are willing."
"You forget," said I, "that you have not yet asked the favor."
"Well," he resumed, repressing a sigh, "You know I have never since my remembrance had a mother. I need one sadly, to tell me when I do wrong.
Oh!" he added, with great emotion, laying the silk on his knee, "I have so longed for a mother, or sister who would watch over me, and take an interest in me, as I have seen mothers and sisters in their sons and brothers."
I was very much affected by this natural outburst of feeling, and said, "I will, my son." Hardly conscious of what I did, I leaned forward, and kissed his pure, white brow.
He grasped my hand, and kneeling, covered it with kisses, while he thanked me in the warmest terms.
Pauline and Nelly looked on with great interest. "Remember," said the former, as she held out her hand to him, while her eyes were filled with tears, "you have now two sisters and a brother."
He was then in a great hurry to go and report his success to his father, who he said would be very much pleased.
_Tuesday, January 7th._
Eugene came over for a few moments last evening to thank me in behalf of his father, and to ask if the Doctor would call upon him in the morning, as there had been some change in his symptoms.
Frank offered to go at once; but the young man did not wish it. He went this morning, however, and prescribed a change of medicine.
Colonel Clifford confessed that he had at first been somewhat disappointed in finding that he was not a clergyman; but now considered it a very kind providence which had brought a physician almost to the very door. He added that now the only anxiety he had had in remaining in Nice was obviated. The Doctor remained and read to him for an hour. When he left, the Colonel renewed his thanks for our kindness to his dear boy.
CHAPTER x.x.xIV.
"A Mother"s love--how sweet the name!
What _is_ a mother"s love?
A n.o.ble, pure, and tender flame, Enkindled from above, To bless a heart of earthly mould The warmest love that _can_ grow cold; This is a mother"s love." MONTGOMERY.
"A malady Preys on my heart, that medicine cannot reach, Invincible and cureless." MATURIN.
_Wednesday, January 29th._
It has fallen into a custom that the Doctor should pa.s.s a part of every morning with the invalid, while Eugene walks with his sisters, as he fondly calls them. Nelly and Frank have been in with their father to be introduced to the Colonel; and received from him some valuable curiosities as presents. The next day he sent Pauline a very valuable token of regard, with a message that he fully appreciated the value of such sisters to a young man dest.i.tute of any female relative. It is a little singular that while he converses freely on every other subject, and has drawn from the Doctor much of his own history, yet he has never alluded in the most distant manner to the nature of his own peculiar trials. He is much better in health since the change in his medicine, but Frank told him freely that it was not probable the benefit would be permanent.
The Colonel said he should be sorry to think it otherwise; though he supposed he ought to desire to live for the sake of his boy.
I could hardly have thought it possible that we should in so short a time have become so much interested in persons, of whose existence even we were till now ignorant. Eugene is a very dutiful son, and has evidently been trained with the greatest care by his pious father. He repeats over and over again the names of mother and sisters, as if he revelled in the very idea of having such relatives. He told me that one day he called me by the name of mamma in his father"s presence, when a look of agony pa.s.sed like a shade over his face; but in one moment, with a faint smile, he said, "I thank G.o.d, my son, that you have found a mother, even in name."
_Wednesday, February 12th._
When the Doctor visited Colonel Clifford this morning, he found him busily engaged in writing, which he immediately put aside, saying, "I have nearly finished the preparation of some papers which I wish at my death to put into the hands of my son."
The Doctor was about to leave; but the Colonel insisted on his remaining, as he wished to introduce a particular subject of conversation. He began by saying, "I have not inquired so particularly about the American colleges without an object. If in what I say, you consider me as taking advantage of your kindness, both to me and my boy, I must beg the same indulgence to excuse it." He then, a.s.sured by Frank"s sincerely expressed wish to be of service to him, went on to say, "when I die, Eugene will have no friend or near relative, from whom he has a right to claim sympathy and kindness. I have often prayed that some friend might be raised up, with whom I could feel safe to confide, both his spiritual and temporal interests. I have thought," he added, while a tear trickled down his emaciated cheek, "that perhaps G.o.d had answered my prayers, and sent you here to be that friend."
Frank took the wasted hand in his as he replied, "I shall feel honored in being considered as such."
"But do you fully understand my meaning?" he was eagerly asked. "Eugene has more than enough property, and it is well funded; but he needs a _home_, and kind friends to watch over him; just what every young man needs."
"Perhaps you are not aware," replied the Doctor, "that we intend returning to the United States in a few months."
"I am fully so; but Eugene has no particular attachments to England; that is, when I am gone, and he would gladly accompany you. Do not give me an answer to-day. Consult your family, and let me know hereafter; and may the Lord incline your heart to do according to my desire!" He held the Doctor"s hand convulsively in his, as he said this, and appearing to be much fatigued by the exciting nature of the interview, Frank took leave.
It was an interesting subject for us, during our long walks; and after being interrupted for a time, was extended far into the night. My husband fully realized that the care would fall upon me; his professional duties so fully occupy his time at home. Then the influence upon our children, we felt it to be our duty to consider. I frankly confessed to the Doctor that I had never seen a young man whom I could more readily take to my heart as a son; and that I knew Pauline and Nelly, as well as Frank, would be delighted with this addition to our family.
"What is the drawback, then? I see there is something you do not bring to the light."
I could at first give no reply. There was a drawback; but it seemed to me so selfish that I could not endure to mention it. It was the fear that Eugene would love my Pauline with a love surpa.s.sing that of a brother, and that she would return his love. At length I replied, "no, nothing that need to be a drawback; only I thought that perhaps it might be dangerous to place young people at the age he and Pauline are, in such intimate connection."
"Ah," said he, laughing, "I might have guessed Pauline was at the bottom of all your trouble. For a girl, good and obedient as she is, she has occasioned you great anxiety. Even if such an event should happen, which I will acknowledge is very probable, you will have the training of him, and you can educate him to suit yourself, instead of training her for a wife for cousin Joseph as he proposed. Eugene appears to be a very pure minded young man. Like our children, he has been educated at home; and that is one reason of his father"s regret and anxiety. He knows nothing of the world, and is as ignorant as a child of the wickedness he will have to meet, and therefore liable to be led away. I have tried to think what I should wish were I in his place, and have concluded with your consent, and full approbation to accept the charge."
_Friday, February 14th._
I had never seen Colonel Clifford until yesterday morning, when I went with the Doctor to tell him of our willingness to take Eugene into our family, if the young man"s wishes in that respect corresponded with his father"s.
He answered our light knock for admittance, after a moment; and I could see that he had been weeping. But he held out his hand as he feebly seated himself; and with a smile, said, "it argues well for me, Doctor, that you have brought your lady."
We took seats near him, and I could see that he waited with trembling impatience for us to speak upon the subject nearest his heart. The Doctor said, "we have come in to express our willingness to accede to your wishes in regard to your son."
The Colonel exhibited great emotion, and with a beautiful smile of trust in his heavenly Father which illumined every feature, he said with closed eyes, "My G.o.d, I thank thee!" After a short pause he turned to me, "my dear madam, let me hear you say you will be a mother to my motherless boy."