He started as I spoke and looked at me in wonder, yet respectfully.
"I have just come from China," said I, "and my father told me to find Mrs. Compton."
He looked at me for some time without speaking a word. I began to think that he was imbecile.
"So you are Mr. Potts"s daughter," said he at last, in a thin, weak voice. "I--I didn"t know that you had come--I--I knew that he was expecting you--but heard you were lost at sea--Mrs. Compton--yes--oh yes--I"ll show you where you can find Mrs. Compton."
He was embarra.s.sed, yet not unkind. There was wonder in his face, as though he was surprised at my appearance. Perhaps it was because he found me so unlike my father. He walked toward the great stairs, from time to time turning his head to look at me, and ascended them. I followed, and after going to the third story we came to a room.
"That"s the place," said he.
He then turned, without replying to my thanks, and left me. I knocked at the door. After some delay it was opened, and I went in. A thin, pale woman was there. Her hair was perfectly white. Her face was marked by the traces of great grief and suffering, yet overspread by an expression of surpa.s.sing gentleness and sweetness. She looked like one of these women who live lives of devotion for others, who suffer out of the spirit of self-sacrifice, and count their own comfort and happiness as nothing in comparison with that of those whom they love. My heart warmed toward her at the first glance; I saw that this place could not be altogether corrupt since she was here.
"I am Mr. Potts"s daughter," said I; "are you Mrs. Compton?"
She stood mute. An expression of deadly fear overspread her countenance, which seemed to turn her white face to a grayish hue, and the look that she gave me was such a look as one may cast upon some object of mortal fear.
"You look alarmed," said I, in surprise; "and why? Am I then so frightful?"
She seized my hand and covered it with kisses. This new outburst surprised me as much as her former fear. I did not know what to do. "Ah!
my sweet child, my dearest!" she murmured. "How did you come here, here of all places on earth?"
I was touched by the tenderness and sympathy of her tone. It was full of the gentlest love. "How did you come here?" I asked.
She started and turned on me her former look of fear.
"Do not look at me so," said I, "dear Mrs. Compton. You are timid. Do not be afraid of me. I am incapable of inspiring fear." I pressed her hand. "Let us say nothing more now about the place. We each seem to know what it is. Since I find one like you living here it will not seem altogether a place of despair."
"Oh, door child, what words are these? You speak as if you knew all."
"I know much," said I, "and I have suffered much."
"Ah, my dearest! you are too young and too beautiful to suffer." An agony of sorrow came over her face. Then I saw upon it an expression which I have often marked since, a strange straggling desire to say something, which that excessive and ever-present terror of hers made her incapable of uttering. Some secret thought was in her whole face, but her faltering tongue was paralyzed and could not divulge it.
She turned away with a deep sigh. I looked at her with much interest.
She was not the woman I expected to find. Her face and voice won my heart. She was certainly one to be trusted. But still there was this mystery about her.
Nothing could exceed her kindness and tenderness. She arranged my room.
She did every thing that could be done to give it an air of comfort. It was a very luxuriously furnished chamber. All the house was lordly in its style and arrangements. That first night I slept the sleep of the weary.
The next day I spent in my room, occupied with my own sad thoughts. At about three in the afternoon I saw _him_ come up the avenue My heart throbbed violently. My eyes were riveted upon that well-known face, how loved! how dear! In vain I tried to conjecture the reason why he should come. Was it to strike the first blow in his just, his implacable vengeance? I longed that I might receive that blow. Any thing that came from _him_ would be sweet.
He staid a long time and then left. What pa.s.sed I can not conjecture.
But it had evidently been an agreeable visit to my father, for I heard him laughing uproariously on the piazza about something not long after he had gone.
I have not seen him since.
For several weeks I scarcely moved from my room. I ate with Mrs.
Compton. Her reserve was impenetrable. It was with painful fear and trembling that she touched upon any thing connected with the affairs of the house or the family. I saw it and spared her. Poor thing, she has always been too timid for such a life as this.
At the end of a month I began to think that I could live here in a state of obscurity without being molested. Strange that a daughter"s feelings toward a father and brother should be those of horror, and that her desire with reference to them should be merely to keep out of their sight. I had no occupation, and needed none, for I had my thoughts and my memories. These memories were bitter, yet sweet. I took the sweet, and tried to solace myself with them. The days are gone forever; no longer does the sea spread wide; no longer can I hear his voice; I can hold him in my arms no more; yet I can remember--
"Das susseste Gluck fur die trauernde Brust, Nach der schonen Liebe verschwundener l.u.s.t, Sind der Liebe Schmerzen und Klagen."
I think I had lived this sort of life for three months without seeing either my father or brother.
At the end of that time my father sent for me. He informed me that he intended to give a grand entertainment to the county families, and wanted me to do the honors. He had ordered dress-makers for me; he wished me to wear some jewels which he had in the house, and informed me that it would be the grandest thing of the kind that had ever taken place. Fire-works were going to be let off; the grounds were to be illuminated, and nothing that money could effect would be spared to render it the most splendid festival that could be imagined.
I did as he said. The dress-makers came, and I allowed them to array me as they chose. My father informed me that he would not give me the jewels till the time came, hinting a fear that I might steal them.
At last the evening arrived. Invitations had been sent every where. It was expected that the house would be crowded. My father even ventured to make a personal request that I would adorn myself as well as possible.
I did the best I could, and went to the drawing-room to receive the expected crowds.
The hour came and pa.s.sed, but no one appeared. My father looked a little troubled, but he and John waited in the drawing-room. Servants were sent down to see if any one was approaching. An hour pa.s.sed. My father looked deeply enraged. Two hours pa.s.sed. Still no one came. Three hours pa.s.sed.
I waited calmly, but my father and John, who had all the time been drinking freely, became furious. It was now midnight, and all hope had left them. They had been treated with scorn by the whole county.
The servants were laughing at my father"s disgrace. The proud array in the different rooms was all a mockery. The elaborate fire-works could not be used.
My father turned his eyes, inflamed by anger and strong drink, toward me.
"She"s a d----d bad investment," I heard him say.
"I told you so," said John, who did not deign to look at me; "but you were determined."
They then sat drinking in silence for some time.
"Sold!" said my father, suddenly, with an oath.
John made no reply.
"I thought the county would take to her. She"s one of their own sort,"
my father muttered.
"If it weren"t for you they might," said John; "but they ain"t overfond of her dear father."
"But I sent out the _invites_ in her name."
"No go anyhow."
"I thought I"d get in with them all right away, hobn.o.b with lords and baronets, and maybe get knighted on the spot."
John gave a long scream of laughter.
"You old fool!" he cried; "so that"s what you"re up to, is it? Sir John--ha, ha, ha! You"ll never be made Sir John by parties, I"m afraid."
"Oh, don"t you be too sure. I"m not put down. I"ll try again," he continued, after a pause. "Next year I"ll do it. Why, she"ll marry a lord, and then won"t I be a lord"s father-in-law? What do you say to that?"
"When did you get these notions in your blessed head?" asked John.