Many thanks for your introduction to Bruzot; I long for a piano and for my work. To the Grand Duke also I am much indebted.
Let the Hartels have my "Faust" overture by all means. If they could turn the twenty louis d"or into twenty pounds, I should be glad. In any case they ought to send the money here as soon as possible. I do not like to dun the "Philharmonic" for my fee, and therefore want money. The proofs of the score they must also send to me for correction.
The publication of this overture is, no doubt, a weakness on my part, of which you will soon make me thoroughly ashamed by your "FAUST" symphony. When shall I hear something of that? I am afraid my chances of seeing you here have declined, since you write about this "Hungarian" commission. I can imagine how the invitation has pleased you; and I too am pleased and most curious to see your work. But when shall I see something of all this, you reticent person? Do you not feel how I must long for such cordials amongst the trivial surroundings in which I always live?
I must confess, however, that I always prefer becoming acquainted with your creations through yourself. In that manner everything is disclosed to me at once that otherwise I have to disclose to myself painfully. This happened to me in the case of your "KUNSTLER", while all that you gave me yourself at the piano at once penetrated me by dint of unconditional and perfect artistic enjoyment.
When shall we see each other, you most amiable and n.o.blest of men?
Most stupidly I was unable at "Paris" to remember the address of your children, nor could I think of "Belloni"s" address. By taxing my memory I went half mad. Now, stupid fool that I am, it occurs to me that I need only have gone to "Erard"s." In this manner I deprived myself of the pleasure of seeing them once more, which grieves me very much. Please let me have the address for my return journey.
A thousand thanks to dear M. for her beautiful and kind lines.
You all appear to me like a family of saints. Ah, we are all holy martyrs; perhaps I shall one day be a real one, but in that case all will be over for me with art--that beautiful delusion, the last and the most sublime, to hide from us the misery of the world.
Farewell, dear, glorious friend.
Remember me cordially at home, and continue to love me.
22, PORTLAND TERRACE, REGENT"S PARK, LONDON.
180
22, PORTLAND TERRACE, REGENT"S PARK, LONDON.
DEAREST FRANZ,
I am in the absurd position of having to demand of you a friendly service of a peculiar kind. I CANNOT delay the Berlin "Tannhauser" affair any longer; my pecuniary position is so unfortunate that I cannot afford to forego the hope of Berlin receipts. Hulsen has applied to me once more, through Alwine Frommann, and, as he says, for the last time. He promises all manner of things; the opera is to be given in the autumn, and the preparations are to begin as early as the spring. I must adopt the "trivial" view of this matter, the same view which unfortunately I am compelled to take of the entire fate of my operas. In spite of D. conducting, "Tannhauser" will probably have the same kind of effect in Berlin which it has had every where else; to connect higher hopes with it seems vain. Let the matter therefore take the only course which apparently is open to it, but I regret very much that you have wasted so much trouble and submitted to so many stupid things in endeavouring to accomplish the condition made by me. We are, as we now see, powerless.
The fate which we must expect is, after all, the COMMON LOT. Our best efforts always appear before the world in a truncated and distorted form. I am going to write to Alwine Frommann that she is to accept Hulsen"s offer without further conditions and to tell him that this has been your advice. The truth is that in this manner you will avoid a struggle which, in my opinion, would be fruitless.
Klindworth, for whom I am grateful to you, will probably write to you about my doings in London; I can only say that I do not exactly see what I am here for. The only interesting thing to me is the orchestra, which has taken a great liking to me, and believes in me with enthusiasm. By that means I shall at least be able to have a few good performances, to which the people are quite unaccustomed. All other things, especially public, press, etc., are very indifferent to me. The directors insisted upon my performing some pieces from "Lohengrin" and the Ninth Symphony as early as the second concert, and granted me TWO rehearsals for the purpose.
I am still without a piano. I long to resume my work. WHERE and WHEN shall I see you again?
Taken all in all, I am VERY, very depressed. I am disgusted with the world.
Adieu. Remember me to all at Altenburg; and if you can, continue to love me. 181
DEAREST RICHARD,
It would have been difficult to make Hartel consent to the change of louis d"or into pounds, and after considering the matter I simply wrote to him that you had left the "Faust" overture to me, and that in your name I accepted the honorarium of twenty louis d"or, asking him at the same time to send you that little sum to London.
We will not let our hair turn grey over the "Tannhauser" affair at Berlin. I antic.i.p.ated this all along, although, for my part, I could not and did not wish to bring it about. I do not grudge your Berlin friends the satisfaction which this issue of the affair will give them, and hope that many other occasions will turn up on which I shall not be superfluous or inconvenient to you.
The day before yesterday I sent the score of the "Rhinegold"
(beautifully bound) to W. Fischer at Dresden.
Has B. finished the pianoforte arrangement? In that case I would ask him to let me have it later on, and at my next visit you will sing and represent the whole to me.
I am hard at work at my Ma.s.s, of which the Kyrie and Gloria are already finished.
Apart from this, I have to conduct many rehearsals.
Schumann"s "Genoveva" will be performed on April 9th, and will give me another opportunity of studying and conducting an opera, which I have not done for the last four months.
Next Sunday (April 1st) the oratorio "Die Verklarung des Herrn", by Kuhnsted, professor at Eisenach and organist of Wartburg in spe, will be given at the theatre; and on April 2Oth Raff is going to give a concert, at which half a dozen of his larger compositions--amongst others, an orchestral suite, the hundred and twenty-first Psalm, a violin concerto, etc.--will make up the entire programme.
This is the musical news of Weymar, which probably will be of less interest to you than to me. Of my life, my hope, my endurance, I have nothing to say that is cheerful....
Whether the great political event, the death of the Emperor, will have a softening influence on my personal fate, remains questionable. In a few weeks I shall have direct news. Whatever it may turn out to be, I cannot waver or hesitate. To you, dearest Richard, remains cordially and invariably attached
Your F.
I am constantly being asked for introductions to you. Generally I refuse them, but in a few cases I have to yield.
Tell Klindworth he is to write to me about your Philharmonic concerts. His cousin, a very amiable lady, will shortly bring you news of Weymar, where she has been staying several months.
182. DEAR, GREAT MAN,
For a long time I have been wishing to write to you, but had not the courage to do so. Alas! how can I speak to you from my heart?
Today a sheet of paper with a red border comes under my hand; so many symbols are comprised in that colour! It is devoted to love, it is the purple of kings, and the image of human blood. It is therefore suited to both of us: to you as the emblem of your sovereign genius, to me as that of an ardent attachment, the flames of which are my happiness and my glory; to both of us as the sign of the wounds which destiny has inflicted on us without touching our souls. Need I tell you how much I should like to see you again, and how sincerely I desire that your sojourn in London will be agreeable to you in one way or another? I can do nothing, nothing, except the best thing of all: to love, to bless, to admire.
Your affection is very dear to us; continue in it; it is the sun of our starless sky.
May G.o.d be with you. Our hearts are always yours.
CAROLYNE.
March 27th, 1855.
183.
DEAR FRANZ,
You have punished me in your amiable manner. I reproached myself very much about this Berlin affair; in any case I was too rash, and settled the matter too quickly after my fashion. I ought to have asked you, as you were my plenipotentiary, to cede the opera finally to Hulsen; that would have been better, and you would, no doubt, have undertaken this last transaction to please me. But the whole matter had long ago become so disgusting to me that I lost all energy in connection with it, and felt inclined to finish it as abruptly as possible, so as to hear no more of it.
Do not believe that I was brought to this resolution through my "Berlin friends," but exclusively through my pecuniary position, which is accurately known to you, and which has tied my hands as to this point. I was COMPELLED to think of raising money. I have therefore asked for an advance of a hundred louis d"or on account of royalties, and as to the rest have ceded the opera without any conditions. To tell you the truth, everything else in connection with my operas has become a matter of perfect indifference to me.
Looking at it carefully, it seems to me that my wish that you should be called to Berlin for the performance of "Tannhauser"
has by no means been frustrated thereby. The decision of this matter was never really within the power of the intendant of the theatre. The King alone can suspend the usual order, and HIS decision is quite independent of what the intendant can do on his own authority. It appears to me therefore that our condition was made to an authority which could not have granted it. My giving or not giving the opera to the management was a thing apart; and as regards the invitation to you, this remains a matter which we ought to work with the King direct. Unfortunately it seems that you have little hope of this. What could be done to get some thing out of the King after all? Should I have the impudence to write to him and to try in my own way what seems impossible in any other? The thought of accomplishing my wish after all is the only thing which suddenly places this Berlin affair once more in an interesting light. What do you think of it?
For your news and for the beautiful lines of the dear Princess I am cordially grateful.
Unfortunately I have nothing reasonable to tell you in return. My whole existence here is a perfect anomaly. I am in a strange element and in a thoroughly false position. If at Zurich I conduct symphonies now and then, it is done for the sake of amus.e.m.e.nt and to please a few friends; to make a vocation of it, in the sense that I am to be judged as an artist by a wholly unsympathetic public and press on these grounds, is simply an absurdity. I sincerely regret that I am here, and shall never in my life come again. Pecuniary success is out of the question; and even if they were to offer me a larger fee for next year, I should probably feel bound to decline it: the misery I have to undergo is too great. This is not MY BUSINESS, and if at my present age, and in the unsettled condition of my health, I cannot at least abide by my business, I would rather not abide at all; I have quite enough to bear without that.