Your
R. W.
ZURICH, JUNE 7TH, 1854.
158.
Herewith, dearest Richard, I send you X."s babble, together with the sketch of my very simple answer. Probably the cart will stick in the mud for some time, and then the transactions will begin again. Well, I have learned to understand people, although the real kernel of their phrases has not been, and cannot be, clearly expressed. I have seen too much of this to be deceived. The difficulty lies neither with Hulsen nor with other people whose names have been mentioned, but with THOSE whom we will not name, although we know them a little.
My symphonic poems I will bring you as soon as I find it possible to get away from here for a fortnight. I am very glad you take an interest in them.
Let us be PATIENT, and remain in evil days faithful to eternity.
Your
FRANZISCUS.
June 8th, 1854.
159.
DEAR FRANZ,
Here you have the "babble" back again, the possession of which I do not envy you. Let us put this disgusting nonsense on one side; on hearing the jargon, devoid of honesty or character, which these stupid souls call "prudence," one feels as if a hundred thousand fools were gathered together. Our fortune lies at bottom in the fact that we do not yield to such people, and our perseverance in this is sufficient gain. To "get" something by it is of course more than we can expect. Thus in this instance I am quite satisfied to know that we shall not do what X. wants; this is alone sufficient to put me in a good temper; what happens otherwise is a matter of indifference to us. Berlin to us has been the occasion of celebrating a feast of friendship. What else have we to do with or to care about Berlin?
A thousand thanks for all you are doing and the way in which you do it.
As regards "success" in X."s practical sense, I shall probably never have it. It would indeed be a kind of satire on my situation and my being. On the other hand, I should at any moment be prepared to die gladly and with a smile on my face if only a really fine opportunity would offer itself. What more can one desire? As regards my personal future, I sincerely wish for nothing more than a beautiful death, for life is somehow out of joint. I often feel sorry that things around me do not seem to tend in that direction. Every one seems to care chiefly for a "long life," however narrow, thin, and poor it may be. This is sad.
Of all this we will talk when you come, for that you will come is certain, Lord be thanked. Bring your symphonic poems with you; that will strengthen my thread of life a little.
Do not look out for a copyist. Madame Wesendonck has given me a gold pen of indestructible power, which has once more turned me into a caligraphic pedant. The scores will be my most perfect masterpiece of caligraphy. One cannot fly from his destiny.
Meyerbeer years ago admired nothing so much in my scores as the neat writing. This act of admiration has been my curse; I must write neat scores as long as I live in this world.
You will not be allowed to see the "Rhinegold" till it has been completed in this worthy fashion, and that can only be done in certain idle hours of the long winter evenings. At present I have no time for it. I must begin the composition of the "Valkyrie,"
which I feel joyfully in every limb.
Greet the Princess and the Child with the full power of greeting.
For today I must be satisfied with this request; I can write no more, not even with my gold pen. I might say a good deal more if I were not taken with a fit of weeping, as once on the railway. I have just been called out; an eagle was flying over our house. A good omen!
"Long live the eagle;" he flew splendidly. The swallows were very anxious.
Farewell in the sign of the eagle.
Your
R. W.
160.
Let me tell you that tears prevent me from reading on.
Oh, you are unique of your kind!
It has struck me like a thunderbolt. Heavens, what have you written to me there?
You alone know it!
161.
A thousand thanks, dearest Franz. You have helped me out of a terrible difficulty after I had exhausted all other resources. By the autumn, I think, my affairs will be in better order.
When are you coming? I am going to Canton Valais in a few days, but intend to be back soon. I have no money for roaming about, and while I am enjoying my work nothing else attracts me.
The "Valkyrie" has been begun, and now I shall go at it in good style.
How curious these contrasts are--I mean, between the first love scene of the "Valkyrie" and that of the "Rhinegold."
Brendel must have surprised you. (Bosh!) G.o.d bless you.
162.
DEAREST FRANZ,
You are just the person whom I wanted to be in Leipzig at this moment, and I look upon your pa.s.sage through that town as a hint of fate that there may be help for me AFTER ALL. In my great trouble I wrote to Brendel some time ago, asking him whether he could get me amongst my Leipzig "admirers" 1,000 thalers on a bill at four or five months" date. Answer: "No, but perhaps A.
might manage it through one person or another." As A. had recently paid me a visit, I wrote to him also. Answer: "No." In the course of the next three months I expect this year"s receipts from my operas, and to all appearance they will be good and help me once for all out of this last difficulty. The very least I may expect is this sum of 1,000 thalers. I may therefore, with a good conscience, give a bill payable after three months (end of October) to any one who will lend it to me. Hartel must do it. If he should prefer to advance me 1,000 thalers on account of my receipts, it will suit me equally well. He can control those receipts, and I will give orders that all payments of honorarium are to be made to X. till the money has been returned. Whichever way he likes will suit me, only let me get out of this miserable condition, which makes me feel like a galley-slave.
A. wrote to me about certain possibilities of Germany being opened to me for the special purpose of a short journey. I do not believe it, and at this moment do not care much about it; I certainly will not take the least trouble in the matter.
Concerning the Berlin affair, be a.s.sured that I am only too glad to leave it entirely in your hands. I should be a nice fool if I withdrew it from them as long as you are not tired of it yourself. X. will take good care not to apply to me. All this is idle gossip.
From the Musical Festival at Sitten I ran away. It appeared to me like a great village fair, and I did not care to take part in the music-making. I simply bolted. No "musical festivals" of any kind for me! I feel quite jealous because you have gone to Rotterdam.
I hope you will find time for Zurich as well. Come if you can in the latter half of August, for then I think the Wesendoncks will be back.
Good Lord, my head is a waste. Yesterday early I left the lake of Geneva. Last night I spent in the stage-coach from Berne to Lucerne. At present I am afloat on the lake of Lucerne, from the sh.o.r.e of which I shall fetch my wife, who is going through a cure of curds and whey. After that I return to Zurich, which I DARE do only in the hope that your attack on the Hartels has succeeded.
No one can help me here; I exhausted everything to secure my existence from last winter till now. If all goes well, I shall continue the composition of the "Valkyrie" after August 1st.
Work, THIS work, is the ONLY thing that makes life bearable. With the copying of the "Rhinegold" I go on in the intervals; in the late autumn you will, I hope, have the score.
Pardon me for this confused stuff in reply to your beautiful, cheerful letter from the Rhine. Perhaps I shall write in a better spirit soon. I am on the point of landing at Brunnen, where you are still remembered as "double Peps." How cheerful you were at that time.