She felt what was coming.
"I"m sure I can--if you will only trust me a little longer!" she said desperately.
He dropped her hand.
"You mean that, though I ask you to give it up, you want to continue the case?"
She grew dizzy, his figure swam before her.
"I--I think I do."
"Why--why----" He broke off. "I can"t tell you how surprised I am!" he exclaimed. "I have said nothing of late because I was certain that, if I gave nature a little time in which to work, there would be no need to argue the matter with you. I was certain that, now that love had entered your life, your deeper woman"s instincts would a.s.sert themselves and you would naturally desire to withdraw from the case.
In fact, I was certain that your wish to practise law, your ambition for a career outside the home, would sink into insignificance--and that you would have no desire other than to become a true woman of the home, where I want my wife to be, where she belongs. Oh, come now, Katherine," he added with a rush of his dominating confidence, taking her hand again, "you know that"s just what you"re going to do!"
She sat throbbing, choking. She realized that the long-feared battle was now inevitably at hand. For the moment she did not know whether she was going to yield or fight. Her love of him, her desire to please him, her fear of what might be the consequence if she crossed him, all impelled her toward surrender; her deep-seated, long-clung-to principles impelled her to make a stand for the life of her dreams.
She was a tumult of counter instincts and emotions. But excited as she was, she found herself looking on at herself in a curious detachment, palpitantly wondering which was going to win--the primitive woman in her, the product of thousands of generations of training to fit man"s desire, or this other woman she contained, shaped by but a few brief years, who had come ardently to believe that she had the right to be what she wanted to be, no matter what the man required.
"Oh, come now, dear," Bruce a.s.sured her confidently, yet half chidingly, "you know you are going to give it all up and be just my wife!"
She gazed at his rugged, resolute face, smiling at her now with that peculiar forgiving tenderness that an older person bestows upon a child that is about to yield its childish whim.
"There now, it"s all settled," he said, smoothing her hand. "And we"ll say no more about it."
And then words forced their way up out of her turbulent indecision.
"I"m afraid it isn"t settled."
His eyebrows rose in surprise.
"No?"
"No. I want to be your wife, Arnold. But--but I can"t give up the other."
"What! You"re in earnest?" he cried.
"I am--with all my heart!"
He sank back and stared at her. If further answer were needed, her pale, set face gave it to him. His quick anger began to rise, but he forced it down.
"That puts an entirely new face on the matter," he said, trying to speak calmly. "The question, instead of merely concerning the next few weeks, concerns our whole lives."
She tried to summon all her strength, all her faculties, for the shock of battle.
"Just so," she answered
"Then we must go over the matter very fully," he said. His command over himself grew more easy. He believed that what he had to do was to be patient, and talk her out of her absurdity. "You must understand, of course," he went on, smiling at her tenderly, "that I want to support my wife, and that I am able to support my wife. I want to protect her--shield her--have her lean upon me. I want her to be the G.o.ddess of my home. The G.o.ddess of my home, Katherine! That"s what I want. You understand, dear, don"t you?"
She saw that he confidently expected her to yield to his ideal and accept it, and she now knew that she could never yield. She paused a s.p.a.ce before she spoke, in a sort of terror of what might be the consequence of the next few moments.
"I understand you," she said, duplicating his tone of reason. "But what shall I do in the home? I dislike housework."
"There"s no need of your doing it," he promptly returned. "I can afford servants."
"Then what shall I do in the home?" she repeated.
"Take things easy. Enjoy yourself."
"But I don"t want to enjoy myself. I want to do things. I want to work."
"Come, come, be reasonable," he said, with his tolerant smile. "You know that"s quite out of the question."
"Since you are going to pay servants," she persisted, "why should I idle about the house? Why should not I, an able-bodied person, be out helping in the world"s work somehow--and also helping you to earn a living?"
"Help me earn a living!" He flushed, but his resentment subsided.
"When I asked you to marry me I implied in that question that I was able and willing to support you. Really, Katherine, it"s quite absurd for you to talk about it. There is no financial necessity whatever for you to work."
"You mean, then, that I should not work because, in you, I have enough to live upon?"
"Of course!"
"Do you know any man, any real man I mean," she returned quickly, "who stops work in the vigour of his prime merely because he has enough money to live upon? Would you give up your work to-morrow if some one were willing to support you?"
"Now, don"t be ridiculous, Katherine! That"s quite a different question. I"m a man, you know."
"And work is a necessity for you?"
"Why, of course."
"And you would not be happy without it?" she eagerly pursued.
"Certainly not."
"And you are right there! But what you don"t seem to understand is, that I have the same need, the same love, for work that you have. If you could only recognize, Arnold, that I have the same feelings in this matter that you have, then you would understand me. I demand for myself the right that all men possess as a matter of course--the right to work!"
"If you must work," he cried, a little exasperated, "why, of course, you can help in the housework."
"But I also demand the right to choose my work. Why should I do work which I do not like, for which I have no apt.i.tude, and which I should do poorly, and give up work which interests me, for which I have been trained, and for which I believe I have an apt.i.tude?"
"But don"t you realize, in doing it, if you are successful, you are taking the bread out of a man"s mouth?" he retorted.
"Then every man who has a living income, and yet works, is also taking the bread out of a man"s mouth. But does a real man stop work because of that? Besides, if you use that argument, then in doing my own housework I"d be taking the bread out of a woman"s mouth."
"Why--why----" he stammered. His face began to redden. "We shouldn"t belittle our love with this kind of talk. It"s all so material, so sordid."
"It"s not sordid to me!" she cried, stretching out a hand to him.
"Don"t be angry, Arnold. Try to understand me--please do, please do.
Work is a necessity of life to you. It is also a necessity of life to me. I"m fighting with you for the right to work. I"m fighting with you for my life!"
"Then you place work, your career, above our happiness together?" he demanded angrily.