Count Bunker

Chapter 26

"I am ze chieftain, Nursed in ze mountains, Behold me, Mac--ig--ig--ig ish!

(Yet the Count had written this word very distinctly.)

"Oich for ze claymore!

Hoch for ze philabeg!

Sons of ze red deers, Children of eagles, I will supply you Mit Sa.s.senach carcases!"

At this point came a momentary lull, the chieftain"s eyes rolling bloodthirstily, but the rhapsody having apparently become congested within his fiery heart. His audience, however, were not given time to recover their senses, before a striking-looking individual, adorned with tartan trews and a feathered hat, in whom all were pleased to recognize Count Bunker, whispered briefly in his lordship"s ear, and like a river in spate he foamed on:

"Donald and Ronald Avake from your slumbers!

Maiden so lovely, Smile mit your bright eyes!

Ze heather is blooming!

Ze vild cat is growling!

Hech Dummeldirroch!

Behold Tollyvoddle, Ze Lord of ze Mountains!"

Hardly had the reverberations of the chieftain"s voice died away, when the Count, uttering a series of presumably Gaelic cries, advanced with the most dramatic air, and threw his broad-sword upon the ground. The Baron laid his across it, the pipes struck up a less formidable, but if anything more exciting air, and the two n.o.blemen, springing simultaneously from the ground, began what the Count confidently trusted their American hosts would accept as the national sworddance.

This lasted for some considerable time, and gave the Count an opportunity of testifying his remarkable agility and the Baron of displaying the greater part of his generously proportioned limbs, while the lung power of both became from that moment proverbial in the glen.

At the conclusion of this ceremony the chieftain, crimson, breathless, and radiant, a sight for G.o.ds and ladies, advanced to greet his host.

"Very happy to see you, Lord Tulliwuddle," said Mr. Maddison. "Allow me to offer you my very sincere congratulations on your exceedingly interesting exhibition. Welcome to Lincoln Lodge, your lordship! My daughter--my son."

Eleanor, almost as flushed as the Baron by her headlong rush from the keep at the conclusion of the sword-dance, threw him such a smile as none of her admirers had ever enjoyed before; while he, incapable of speech beyond a gasped "Ach!" bowed so low that the Count had gently to adjust his kilt. Then followed the approach of the Gallosh family, attired in costumes of Harris tweed and tartan selected and arranged under the artistic eye of Count Bunker, and escorted, to their huge delight, by six picked clansmen. Their formal presentation having been completed by a last skirl on the bagpipes, the whole party moved in procession to the banqueting-hall.

"A complete success, I flatter myself," thought Count Bunker, with excusable complacency.

To the banquet itself it is scarcely possible for a mere mortal historian to pay a fitting tribute. Every rarity known to the gourmet that telegraph could summon to the table in time was served in course upon course. Even the sweetmeats in the little gold dishes cost on an average a dollar a bon-bon, while the wine was hardly less valuable than liquid radium. Or at least such was the sworn information subsequently supplied by Count Bunker to the reporter of "The Torrydhulish Herald."

Eleanor was in her highest spirits. She sat between the Baron and Mr. Gallosh, delighted with the honest pleasure and admiration of the merchant, and all the time becoming more satisfied with the demeanor and conversation of the chief. In fact, the only disappointment she felt was connected with the appearance of Miss Gallosh. Much as she had desired a confidante, she had never demanded one so remarkably beautiful, and she could not but feel that a very much plainer friend would have served her purpose quite as well--and indeed better. Once or twice she intercepted a glance pa.s.sing between this superfluously handsome lady and the princ.i.p.al guest, until at last it occurred to her as a strange and unseemly thing that Lord Tulliwuddle should be paying so long a visit to his shooting tenants. Eva, on her part, felt a curiously similar sensation. These American gentlemen were as pleasant as report had painted them, but she now discovered an odd antipathy to American women, or at least to their unabashed method of making themselves agreeable to n.o.blemen. It confirmed, indeed, the worst reports she had heard concerning the way in which they raided the British marriage market.

Being placed beside one of these lovely girls and opposite the other, the Baron, one would think, would be in the highest state of contentment; but though still flushed with his triumphant caperings over the broadswords, and exhibiting a graciousness that charmed his hosts, he struck his observant friend as looking a trifle disturbed at soul.

He would furtively glance across the table and then as furtively throw a sidelong look at his neighbor, and each time he appeared to grow more thoughtful. And yet he did not look precisely unhappy either. In fact, there was a gleam in his eye during each of these glances which suggested that both fell upon something he approved of.

The after-luncheon procedure had been carefully arranged between the two adventurers. The Count was to keep by the Baron"s side, and, thus supported, negotiations were to be delicately opened. Accordingly, when the party rose, the Count whispered a word in Mr. Maddison"s ear. The millionaire answered with a grave, shrewd look, and his daughter, as if perfectly grasping the situation, led the Galloshes out to inspect the new fir forest. And then the two n.o.blemen and the two Dariuses faced one another over their cigars.

CHAPTER XXI

"Well, gentlemen," said Mr. Maddison, "pleasure is pleasure, and business is business. I guess we mean to do a little of both to-day, if you are perfectly disposed. What do you say, Count?"

"I consider that an occasion selected by you, Mr. Maddison, is not to be neglected."

The millionaire bowed his acknowledgment of the compliment, and turned to the Baron, who, it may be remarked, was wearing an expression of thoughtful gravity not frequently to be noted at Hechnahoul.

"You desire to say a few words to me, Lord Tulliwuddle, I understand. I shall be pleased to hear them."

With this both father and son bent such earnest brows on the Baron and waited for his answer in such intense silence, that he began to regret the absence of his inspiring pipers.

"I vould like ze honor to address mine--mine----"

He threw an imploring glance at his friend, who, without hesitation, threw himself into the breach.

"Lord Tulliwuddle feels the natural diffidence of a lover in adequately expressing his sentiments. I understand that he craves your permission to lay a certain case before a certain lady. I am right, Tulliwuddle?"

"Pairfectly," said the Baron, much relieved; "to lay a certain case before a certain lady. Zat is so, yes, exactly."

Father and son glanced at one another.

"Your delicacy does you honor, very great honor," said Mr. Maddison; "but business is business, Lord Tulliwuddle, and I should like to hear your proposition more precisely stated. In fact, sir, I like to know just where I am."

"That"s just about right," a.s.sented Ri.

"I vould perhaps vish to marry her."

"Perhaps!" exclaimed the two together.

Again the Count adroitly interposed--

"You mean that you do not intend to thrust your attentions upon an unwilling lady?"

"Yes, yes; zat is vat I mean."

"I see," said Mr. Maddison slowly. "H"m, yes."

"Sounds what you Scotch call "canny,"" commented Ri shrewdly.

"Well," resumed the millionaire, "I have nothing to say against that; provided--provided, I say, that you stipulate to marry the lady so long as she has no objections to you. No fooling around--that"s all we want to see to. Our time, sir, is too valuable."

"That is so," said Ri.

The Baron"s color rose, and a look of displeasure came into his eyes, but before he had time to make a retort that might have wrecked his original"s hopes, Bunker said quickly--

"Tulliwuddle places himself in your hands, with the implicit confidence that one gentleman reposes in another."

Gulping down his annoyance, the Baron a.s.sented--

"Yes, I vill do zat."

Again father and son looked at one another, and this time exchanged a nod.

"That, sir, will satisfy us," said Mr. Maddison. "Ri, you may turn off the phonograph."

And thereupon the cessation of a loud buzzing sound, which the visitors had hitherto attributed to flies, showed that their host now considered he had received a sufficient guarantee of his lordship"s honorable intentions.

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