"Once with Michael, for a report he had to do for school in fourth grade. I"ve never been back since." But it looked cold and bleak.
They walked all the way to the Golden Gate Bridge at Fort Point, and then wandered slowly back to where they"d left the car, and she offered to take him to the house. They drove there, and she showed him around, but it felt like someone else"s house to her now. And in spite of all the changes she had made and the things she"d moved around, it still felt too much like Bill. She made them something to eat, and they shared a sandwich in the kitchen, and he told her to pack a bag. He wanted her to stay with him at the hotel, and she agreed. They went back to the Ritz at five o"clock and had high tea in the lobby and laughed about it. She felt like a tourist in her own city. Chase had asked the concierge to make them a reservation at Gary Danko, but they wound up in bed instead, and decided not to go out. They lay there, talking, and they watched a movie and ordered room service, which they ate in the living room of the suite, wearing the plush terrycloth robes that were provided by the hotel. It all felt lazy and luxurious and exactly what they wanted to be doing. They were happy they hadn"t gone out. And then they went back to bed and made love again. It was even better as they learned each other"s bodies, and they wound up back in the giant bathtub at one o"clock in the morning, laughing about silly things, and talking about their childhoods, and she told him funny stories about her kids that made him laugh. She had a way of making him happy and just feel good about life, and he did the same for her. He felt like he"d known her all his life, and they were becoming best friends as well as lovers. It was everything she had ever wanted and never had. It was so different from what she had had with Bill, which was more serious and less playful, because that was the way he was. She felt like a different person with Chase, yet still herself.
It was after two a.m. when they finally fell asleep, and when she woke up in the morning, he was in the living room, reading the paper, and he smiled when she walked into the room and sat down next to him with her terrycloth robe open. She felt totally at ease with him, as he did with her. He had his underwear on and nothing else. It was a comfortable domestic scene they were both enjoying to the fullest. He put down the paper and kissed her and asked her what she wanted to do that day.
"I thought we could go to Napa and have lunch up there. There are some terrific restaurants, and some very pretty wineries." It sounded like fun to him too, and this time he drove, and she gave him directions as they sped along. She put the radio on, and one of his songs was playing, and he sang along in a strong, s.e.xy, clear voice. She knew the song now and sang along with him, and he grinned at her at the end of the song.
"You have a mighty fine voice, Miss Stevie." He had told her that before, but she was still shy about singing around him. "If you ever want a job with the band, just say the word." He was teasing her, but he really was impressed by her voice. For an untrained voice, she had power and range. It was a perfect voice for country music, and she loved learning his songs. She paid special attention to the words now, knowing he had written them all.
They visited the Mondavi Winery, and had lunch at Bouchon, and then drove north to Calistoga, and drove past countless wineries on the way, and they stopped for a drink at the Auberge du Soleil on the way back. They sat on the terrace and enjoyed the view of the valley, and then they drove back to the city and had room service again. She loved the time they spent in bed together, cuddling and making love. She was soaking up his affection and love. She realized now that she had been starving emotionally for a long, long time. She had just never thought about it before. It wouldn"t have changed anything if she had. She and Bill had been disconnected for too many years when he died. And as she thought about it, she realized that she didn"t feel as married as she had before. The bonds that had linked her to Bill were slowly disappearing, and were being replaced by what she felt for Chase, which was pure and clean and very powerful. She had no doubts about what they were doing or how she felt about him. She was very much in love, and she knew that he was too. It was a perfect balance and an even exchange, which was something she had never had in her marriage. She had always given more. But Chase gave just as much to her as she gave him.
On Sat.u.r.day, they drove to Stinson Beach in Marin County, just past the Golden Gate, and walked the full length of the spectacular white sandy beach, which stretched for miles. They had dinner at a local restaurant, and drove the winding road home along the cliffs, and looked at the lights of the city sparkling in the distance. There was no fog that night, which she said was rare in July. And the view from the bridge, on the way back, was glorious with the city all lit up. They went back to the hotel, and on Sunday they stopped at her house to pack for L.A. They were flying down that night on the plane he had chartered. And when they checked out of the hotel, she felt as though they had formed a new and deeper bond to each other. The past four days had changed everything again. Now she felt like they belonged together, as though nothing had existed before or would come later. Their relationship had been born in those four days, and she could see that Chase felt the same way. He was careful and gentle with her, and found a thousand different ways to protect her and demonstrate his love. And she was excited about going to L.A. with him, and staying in a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where the stars hung out, or met at the Polo Lounge for lunch or dinner. Sometimes she forgot that Chase was a big star too. He was something else now to her, the man she loved, part of her private life, and not a public person. But the moment they checked in to the hotel, three people in the lobby asked for his autograph, which brought it home to her again.
"Sometimes I forget who you are," she said with a grin, as the manager on duty took them to the bungalow. It was one of their best ones, with two extra bedrooms they didn"t need, but Chase liked to have s.p.a.ce to move around. And this time he carried her over the threshold, to remind her that this was still part of their unofficial honeymoon. The hotel sent them a bottle of Cristal after that, not sure if they were newlyweds or not, but they did it for good measure.
They"d had champagne on the flight down on the chartered jet too. With him, she was getting used to luxuries he took in stride but constantly provided for her. The jet itself had been fabulous and an extravagantly comfortable way to travel.
"You"re going to ruin me for real life," she said as she got into the Ferrari he had rented, and they left for dinner at Mr. Chow, which was one of his favorite restaurants in L.A., but as soon as they got out of the car, they were faced with a wall of the paparazzi who flocked there to catch a glimpse of the stars who came to dine. They snapped their picture going into the restaurant. Chase strode right past them with an arm around her and escorted her into the restaurant. He paid no attention to the photographers other than a discreet wave as they walked by. It startled Stephanie for a moment, but she felt him strong and protective beside her.
"Are we going to be all over the tabloids now?" she asked, looking worried. She hadn"t thought of it before. People noticed him in Nashville, and asked for autographs, but the press had paid no attention to them. Here it was different, and there was a feeding frenzy of press photographers when they walked out.
"We might be," he said, in answer to her question. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not, I"m proud to be with you. But I might have to say something to my kids if that happens. You don"t look like Laura Perkins." He laughed as she mentioned her mythical college friend, but in L.A. they could have been together for a number of reasons, none of which Stephanie could think of now, but she"d have to think on her feet and improvise if her kids challenged her about it. She still thought it was too soon to tell them she was dating, not to mention the fact that she had fallen madly in love. She knew they would be upset about it, out of loyalty to their father.
They went to bed early that night because his meeting at the record label was at nine the next morning. He was meeting his entertainment lawyer there, and his dramatic agent, to discuss possible promotions to go with a new alb.u.m. And this time he didn"t invite her to join him. This was in the big leagues and not a little meeting she could go to. It was a very big deal, involving a lot of money. He promised to meet her back at the Polo Lounge for lunch. And in the end, she went to the cabana he"d rented for them, and lay by the pool all morning. She was thoroughly enjoying the hotel and being in L.A. with Chase.
He came to find her at the cabana when he got back, and he looked gorgeous as she watched him thread his way through the chairs around the pool.
"How was it?" she asked, as he sat down at the foot of her chair, and leaned over to kiss her.
"Pretty d.a.m.n good," he said, pleased with the meeting. And as he said it, two women glanced over at him and whispered something to each other. He was recognized everywhere, and Stephanie felt important just being with him. It was exciting, and still a new experience for her. And a minute later, one of them came over and asked for his autograph and told him which of his. .h.i.ts were her favorite songs. He heard it all the time, and she was impressed by how gracious he was to fans, who always came over at the wrong time, or intruded during a meal. He was unfailingly polite and obliging to them. After the fan thanked him for his autograph, she was smiling from ear to ear as she walked away and gave a thumbs-up to her friend.
They went shopping at Maxfield"s after lunch, and Chase bought some new clothes, black leather pants that were cut like jeans, and a black leather jacket that looked great on him and that he said he"d wear on stage. Everyone knew him there, and they made a fuss over Stephanie too. When she admired a Balenciaga bag she thought was too expensive, he surprised her and handed it to her when they got in the car, along with a cashmere scarf she"d loved, the same color as her eyes.
"Chase! What are you doing?" She was embarra.s.sed by his generosity, but touched by it too. No one had ever spoiled her that way before. What he"d given her just from a random afternoon of shopping was more thoughtful than any Christmas gift Bill had ever given her. Chase was an entirely different breed. He amazed her constantly with his kindness, generosity, courtly manners, and good taste.
"I"m just loving you, that"s all," he said as he kissed her. And the two paparazzi who had been following them as they wandered in and out of shops on Melrose snapped their picture. It was almost sure to become news or wind up on YouTube. Stephanie was becoming mildly concerned. There was going to be no way to conceal their relationship if they were all over the press, but she knew it went with the territory with Chase, and she had to get used to it, and accept the risk of it happening at some point.
Later she told Jean about it when she called her that afternoon, when they went back to the pool.
"What am I going to tell the kids, if they catch us?" she said.
"I take it you"re no longer a virgin," Jean said drily.
"That"s beside the point," Stephanie said discreetly. She was not going to discuss her s.e.x life with her friend, no matter how close they were. "I just don"t want the kids to make an issue of it."
"You know they will. And he"s a big star, Steph, it"s bound to come out, and probably soon if you"re all over L.A. together."
"I can"t hide in our room." And she didn"t want to. She was having too much fun with him.
"The kids will get used to it," Jean said calmly. "They can"t expect you to be alone forever."
"I think they do." And they didn"t expect her to date a country music star. Even Michael didn"t suspect, and he was dating Sandy, but Chase had told her not to say anything to him. And their relationship hadn"t been as engaged when Stephanie was in Nashville, so Sandy didn"t know their current status either, but she knew enough to upset Michael if she told him. So she promised Chase she wouldn"t.
The matter was taken out of their hands two days later when YouTube ran a clip of them kissing as they left an antiques shop, and there was a photograph of them on the cover of a tabloid, going into the hotel. Chase was wearing a tank top with all his tattoos showing, and Stephanie was wearing shorts and sandals, and they had their arms around each other"s waists. Louise called her mother as she and Chase were getting up, and they had just ordered breakfast and were sitting on the patio of their room. Louise was livid.
"What the h.e.l.l is that about, Mom?" she said for openers.
"Is what about? What are you so angry about?" Stephanie was still half asleep and hadn"t seen the video or the tabloid. They were on the front page.
"You"re having an affair with a rock star? Do you have a tattoo yet? What kind of hypocrite are you?"
"I"m not a hypocrite. And I don"t know what you"re talking about."
"Have your boyfriend show you what"s on YouTube. I"m a.s.suming you"re dating him, and it wasn"t a one-night stand. I"m not sure which would be worse in this case." She was almost in tears. "How can you do that to Dad?"
"I"m not doing anything to Dad," Stephanie said, trying to sound as calm as she could in the circ.u.mstances. "And yes, I am dating Chase Taylor. I was going to tell you about it, but I thought it was too soon. It just happened. I didn"t expect it either."
"It didn"t "happen," Mom. You weren"t kidnapped by aliens or taken hostage. You did it. That"s a decision. How can you be so disrespectful to Dad?"
"I have never been disrespectful to your father. He"s not here, Louise. I am. And Chase is a wonderful man. I think you"ll like him a lot."
"I"m never going to meet him!" Louise shouted at her over the phone, sounding hysterical. "And I can"t believe you"re whoring around five months after Dad died. What"s wrong with you?"
"Don"t speak to me like that!" Stephanie shouted back, and her voice was shaking. She couldn"t believe what Louise was saying to her, even if she was upset. Being called a wh.o.r.e by her daughter didn"t sit well with her, to say the least.
"And you were in Nashville with him, I guess. You lied to us, Mom. I"ll never trust you again." She was sobbing by then, and Stephanie was crying too.
"I didn"t lie to you. Nothing had happened. This only started recently."
"Well, if you have any respect for Dad, and any decency, you"ll stop it immediately." She was still crying as her mother closed her eyes and listened.
"I"m not going to stop it. I have a right to a life, Louise. Your father is dead, I"m not. And I"m not doing anything I need to apologize for, and certainly not to you after the way you"re speaking to me. Get a grip on yourself."
"You"re making an a.s.s of yourself, and embarra.s.sing us. I just talked to Charlotte, and she doesn"t even want to come home now. For G.o.d"s sake, Mom, you"re on YouTube! You didn"t even know what that was last year." But she did now, in spades. It was just unfortunate that Louise had seen it, and they"d been on the front page of The Globe too. Chase was listening and could guess what had happened, as he gently reached out and touched her hand to let her know he was there and how sorry he was. They hadn"t been as careful as they should, and he knew better, but he was so happy with her, and they"d been enjoying each other and L.A., and had gotten relaxed and not careful enough about the press.
Louise shouted at her for a few more minutes, and then hung up, still hysterical. And Stephanie looked at him unhappily as their breakfast arrived and the waiter set it up.
"I"m sorry, baby. Do you want to go back to San Francisco today?" he asked her.
"No, I don"t. I love being here with you. She thinks I"m being disrespectful to her father. But they want to bury me with him. She"s always tough on me. She"ll have to get over it this time." But it didn"t sound like she would anytime soon.
The next call was from Alyson, who had heard about it from someone and was desperately worried about her friend.
"Is that really you?" she asked in a shocked tone. She had called Jean too, who didn"t seem surprised or upset, and told Alyson to calm down, but she called Stephanie anyway. She was sure that the photo had to be a fake of some kind, but Stephanie told her it wasn"t.
"It"s me," she said in an exasperated tone. She didn"t need Alyson bugging her about it too. "I"m sorry I didn"t say anything about it, but we"re trying to keep it quiet."
"Well, the whole world knows now," Alyson said with obvious disapproval. "What do the kids say about it?"
"Louise just called me a wh.o.r.e when she called me. I haven"t spoken to the others."
"Do you even know this guy? Don"t you think you should stop seeing him?" She made her disapproval clear.
"He"s a wonderful man, and I love him," Stephanie said simply. "The kids will have to get used to it."
"Are you serious about him?" Alyson sounded even more shocked at that. Clearly, Stephanie had lost her mind.
"Yes, I am serious about him," Stephanie confirmed, as Chase looked over at her with a slow smile. He was sorry about all the trouble she was having, because of him. "Alyson, I"ll call you soon," Stephanie said, and cut her off before she could say any more, but it was obvious that Alyson was shocked and concerned for her friend. Her perspective was so narrow and her world so small that she couldn"t even conceive of what Stephanie was doing. Alyson led a sheltered life dictated by her husband and was nave. Jean had been supportive about Chase from the beginning.
"Are you okay?" Chase asked her, looking worried. "It sounds pretty bad. Who was that? Your other daughter?"
"No, my friend Alyson. This is so far out of her realm, she thinks I"m crazy. My friend Jean is your biggest fan, though." She didn"t want him to think that everyone in her life hated him. This was not a warm welcome for him.
The next call was from Michael two minutes later. He wasn"t shouting insults like his sister, but he sounded worried.
"Are you okay, Mom?" he asked her, which was more than Louise had done before hurling slanderous accusations at her.
"I"m fine, sweetheart. I guess you"ve heard about me and Chase." At least Michael knew him and liked him. Stephanie was grateful for that.
"Yes." Louise had called to warn him, and he had looked online to see for himself. "It"s actually not that bad," he tried to rea.s.sure her. "Louise is just upset because of Dad."
"I know, and I"m sorry you had to hear about it this way. I just wasn"t ready to tell you yet. I didn"t realize it would wind up all over YouTube."
"He"s a big star, Mom. You can"t hide for long."
"So I gather. So what do you think? At least you know him."
"I"m kind of upset about Dad," he said honestly, in his clear, concise way, but he didn"t sound angry. "But I"m happy for you. He"s a good guy. Are you two serious about each other?"
"I think so."
"Because if you"re just fooling around and having fun, it"s not worth it. But if you"re serious, you have my approval, if you care."
"Of course I care. I love you. Do you mean what you just said?" She was touched by how compa.s.sionate and understanding he was being.
"Yes, I mean it. And I know that you and Dad were never really happy after he came back. If Chase makes you happy, then I"m glad."
"He does. Thank you, sweetheart. Maybe you can calm your sister down about it."
"You know Louise. She"ll get over it. She just needs to go nuts for a while, and beat everybody up. I think she got Charlotte all excited about it."
"I"ll call her."
"Tell Chase he has my endors.e.m.e.nt," Michael said quietly. "Let me know if there"s anything I can do." He really was a great kid, and made up for the other two, even Louise"s vitriolic reaction. She told Chase about the call and called Charlotte a minute later. She was almost as hysterical as Louise, but not as rude. She was younger, and still more respectful of her mother. She didn"t take the liberties Louise took.
"I"m not coming home if he"ll be there," she threatened.
"He won"t be. And you are coming home when you said. No more extensions."
"This is so mean to Dad. How could you, Mom?"
"I"m not married to him anymore, Charlotte. He"s gone. And Chase is a terrific man."
"You"re cheating on Dad, Mom," Charlotte said miserably. "He would never have done that to you." Stephanie caught her breath when she heard, and was tempted to tell her the truth, that he had cheated on her when he was alive, but she would never do that. It would be too hurtful to the kids, and there was no point exposing him now, just to absolve herself.
"We don"t know what Dad would have done in these circ.u.mstances. He might have had a girlfriend by now, but we"ll never know."
"But you do, and it"s just not fair to him, or to us. I"m embarra.s.sed you"re my mom. And you can make me come home, but you can"t make me meet him, ever. Keep him away from me," she said, sounding almost as vicious as her sister. Stephanie could already see now that it was going to be tough when she returned, probably with arguments day and night.
The calls from her family stopped after that, and she and Chase discussed it over breakfast.
"Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to call them and tell them how much I love you? Maybe it would help."
"I don"t think so. They"re defending the memory of their father. And now I"ve become the wh.o.r.e of the village. The only thing that will fix this is time, and seeing for themselves that you"re a great guy. That won"t happen overnight," she said wisely.
They went to the Getty Museum that day, but she was distracted, and all she could think of were her kids, and how they had reacted to her getting on with her life. She wanted them all to calm down, but that wasn"t in the cards for now. They were flying around the ceiling, throwing rocks at her and Chase, and mostly at her.
She had a heavy heart all day, but they decided to stay in L.A., as planned, for the rest of the week. Stephanie was not going to give in to them. A new era had dawned. Bill"s reign in her life had ended and would not continue from the grave. She was no longer afraid, of him, or her kids, or anyone.
Chapter 21.
The time Chase and Stephanie shared in L.A. was idyllic. They went to restaurants and shopped, spent a day at Venice Beach, and had dinner in Santa Monica at Giorgio Baldi. They went to a few parties Chase had been invited to by other country music stars, and they spent quiet time together at the hotel. It was perfect. And they stayed away from the press as much as they could, although People magazine ran an item on them, and they were on Page Six of the New York Post, which made Louise even madder. She sent her mother furious e-mails all week, and Stephanie stayed calm in the eye of the storm and so did Chase. There was nothing else they could do. She wasn"t going to give him up because Louise was unhappy. She"d have to adjust. Stephanie hadn"t heard from Charlotte again, and decided to let sleeping dogs lie until she got home. There would be plenty of time to discuss it with her then.
They flew back to San Francisco on the same chartered jet, checked back into the Ritz-Carlton, and had five more days together there. Chase rented a house for them at Stinson Beach, where they hid out and saw no one. They spent long lazy days, walking on the beach, or making love and watching movies in bed.
Stephanie talked to Alyson again, and she was as unreasonable as Stephanie"s daughters had been, so she avoided Alyson after that, and put her on the back burner too.
And through it all, their relationship got stronger, and Stephanie was glad they had two weeks together to discuss their plans and how to deal with her kids, although Michael had continued to be supportive. It helped that he and Chase had met.
Everything blew up again when, in one of their futile conversations about their mother, Michael admitted to Louise that he was dating Chase"s ward. She went crazy all over again.
"For G.o.d"s sake, Mike, have you lost your mind too? What is it with you? What about Amanda?"
"We broke up." Louise didn"t like her either, but at least she was respectable, in Louise"s opinion, not some country music singer who she a.s.sumed was out of a trailer park.
"So now you"re dating an eighteen-year-old Okie? Please tell me this isn"t happening to us. I feel like aliens took over our family when Dad died. You and Mom have gone nuts. What"s happening to you? This is straight out of a soap opera. Well, don"t bring her to meet me."
"I wasn"t planning to," he said in an icy tone. "I know better, with that razor mouth of yours. She doesn"t deserve that, and neither does Mom. Chase Taylor is a great guy, and I like him. And he"s wonderful to Mom, more than Dad ever was. That"s what we should care about, not all the rest. All the stuff in the press is bulls.h.i.t."