The sisters had exchanged according glances, and Caroline asked:--
"Stay an" set down with us? It"s b"iled dish. I guess you can smell it."
Hetty was drawing her shawl about her. She shook her head.
"No," said she. ""Bleeged to ye. I"ll pick up suthin"."
But later, entering her own kitchen, she stopped and drew a sharp breath, like an outcry against the desolation there. The room was in its homely order, to be broken, she felt, no more. She was childless. All the zest of work had gone. She threw off her shawl then, with a savage impatience at her own grief, and began her tasks. In the midst of them she paused, laid down her cooking-spoon, and sank into a chair.
"O Lord!" she moaned. "My Lord!" This was the worst of all the days since he had died. She understood it now. The flowers were gone. They had formed a link between the present and that day when they made the sitting-room so sweet. Even the fragrance of that last sad hour had fled. Suddenly she laughed, a bitter note. She spoke aloud:--
"If the Lord"ll send me some flowers afore to-morrer night, I"ll believe in Him. If He"ll send me one flower or a sprig o" green, I"ll believe in Him, an" hold up my head rejoicin", like Still Lucy."
She repeated the words, as if to One who heard. Thereafter a quickened energy possessed her. She got her dinner alertly, and with some vestige of the interest she had been used to feel when she cooked for two. All the afternoon it was the same. Her mind dwelt pa.s.sionately upon the compact she had offered the Unseen. Over and over she repeated the terms of it, sometimes with eager commentary.
"It can"t hurt n.o.body," she reasoned, in piteous argument. Her gnarled hands trembled as she worked, and now, with n.o.body to note her weakness, tears fell unregarded down her face. "There"s things I wouldn"t ask for, whether or no. Mebbe they"d have to be took away from somebody else; an"
I never was one to plead up poverty. But there"s plenty o" flowers in the world. "Twouldn"t upset nothin" for me to have jest one afore to-morrer night. If I can have one flower afore to-morrer night, I shall know there"s a G.o.d in heaven."
The day began with a sense of newness and exaltation at which she wondered. Until this hour, death had briefly ruled the house and chilled the air in it. Her son"s overthrow had struck at the heart of her vitality and presaged her own swift doom. All lesser interests had dwindled and grown poor; her life seemed flickering out like a taper in the breeze. Now grief had something to leaven it. Something had set up a screen between her and the wind of unmerciful events. There was a possibility, not of reprieve, but of a message from the unseen good, and for a moment the candle of her life burned steadily. Since the dead could not return, stricken mortality had one shadowy hope: that it should go, in its course, to them, and find them living. Again she vowed her belief to the G.o.d who would send one sign of his well-wishing toward her.
"I"ll set till twelve o"clock this night," she said grimly, laying her morning fire. "That"s eighteen hours. If He can"t do suthin" in eighteen hours, He can"t ever do it."
At ten o"clock her work was done, and she established herself by the sitting-room window, her knitting in hand, to watch for him who was to come. A warm excitement flooded through her veins.
"How my heart beats!" she said aloud. It had hurried through the peril of Willard"s illness and the disaster of his death. It was hurrying now, as if it meant to gallop with her from the world.
At half-past ten there was the sound of wheels. She dropped her knitting and put her hand up to her throat. A carriage turned the bend in the road and pa.s.sed the clump of willows. It was the minister"s wife, driving at a good pace and leaning out to bow. Hetty rose, trembling, her hand on the window-sill. But the minister"s wife gave another smiling nod and flicked the horse. She was not the messenger.
Hetty sank back to her work, and knit with trembling fingers. The forenoon wore on. It was Candlemas, and cloudy, and she remembered that the badger would not go back into his hole. There would be an early spring. Then grief caught her again by the throat, at the thought that spring might come, and summer greaten, but she was a stricken woman whose joy would not return. She rose from her chair and called out pa.s.sionately,--
"Only one flower, jest one sprig o" suthin", an" I"ll be contented!"
That day she had no dinner. She made it ready, with a scrupulous exact.i.tude, but she could not eat. She went back to her post at the window. n.o.body went by. Of all the neighbors who might have driven to market, not one appeared. Life itself seemed to be stricken from her world. At four o"clock she caught her shawl from its nail, and ran across the field to Lucy. Both sisters were at home, in the still tranquillity of their pursuits, Lucy knitting and Caroline binding shoes. Hetty came in upon them as if a wind had blown her.
"Law me!" said Caroline, looking up. "Anything happened?"
"No," said Hetty, "nothin" "s happened. I don"t know as "t ever will."
She sat down and talked recklessly about nothing. A calla bud, yesterday a roll of white, had opened, and the sun lay in its heart. Hetty set her lips grimly, and refused to look at it. Yet, as her voice rang on, the feverish will within her kept telling her what she might say. She might ask for the well-being of the slip set out yesterday, or she might even venture, "I should think you"d move your calla out o" the sun. Won"t it wilt the bloom?" Then Lucy might tell Caroline to snip off the bloom and give it to her. But no one spoke of plants. Her breath quickened chokingly, and her heart swelled and made her sick. Suddenly she rose and threw her shawl about her in wild haste.
"I must go," she trembled; but at the door Lucy stayed her.
"Hetty," she called. Her voice faltered, and her eyes looked soft under wistful brows. "Hetty!"
Hetty was waiting, in a tremor of suspense.
"Well," she answered, her voice beating upon the word. "What is it?"
Still Lucy spoke with diffidence, as she always did when she touched upon her faith.
"I was only thinkin"--I dunno "s I can tell you, Hetty--but what you said yesterday, you know, about not believin" there"s any G.o.d--I was goin" to ask you who you think made the trees an" flowers."
Hetty did not answer. She stood there, her hands trembling underneath her shawl. She gripped them, one upon the other, to keep from stretching them for alms.
"Well," she answered harshly. "Well!"
"Well," said Lucy gently, "that"s all."
Hetty laughed out stridently.
"I"m goin" over to Mis" Flood"s," said she, her hand upon the latch.
"They"ve driv" over to Fairfax to spend the day," volunteered Caroline.
"Better by half set here."
"Then I"m goin" over to Ballard"s." She fled down the road so fast that Caroline, watching her compa.s.sionately, remarked that she "looked, as if she"s sent for," and Lucy said, like a charm, a phrase of the Lord"s Prayer.
Hetty looked up at the Floods" and groaned, remembering there were plants within. She spoke aloud, satirically:--
"Mebbe I could be the instrument o" the Lord. Mebbe if I climbed into the winder, an" stole a bloom, I could say He give it to me."
But she went on, and hurried up the path to the little one-story house where the Ballards lived. Grandsir was by the fire, pounding walnuts in a little wooden mortar, to make a paste for his toothless jaws, and little "Melia, a bowl of nuts before her, sat in a high chair at the table, lost in reckless greed. Her doll, forgotten, lay across a corner of the table, in limp abandon, the b.u.t.tonholed eyes staring nowhere.
Grandsir spoke wheezingly:--
"We"re keepin" house, "Melia an" me. We thought we"d crack us a few nuts. Help yourself, Hetty."
"Melia lifted her bowl with two fat hands, and held it out, tiltingly.
Her round blue eyes shone in a painstaking hospitality. She was a good little "Melia.
"No, dear, you set it down. I don"t want none," said Hetty tenderly. She steadied the bowl on its way back, and "Melia, relinquishing the claims of entertainment, picked into her small mouth with a swift avidity.
"Clever little creatur"!" Hetty continued, in a frank aside.
But Grandsir had not heard.
"How old was Willard?" he inquired, pausing to test the ma.s.s his mortar held.
The tears came into her eyes.
"Thirty-four," she answered.
"How old?"
After she had repeated it, "Melia turned suddenly, and made a solemn statement.
"I picked off my gloxinias and gave "em all to Willard." She lisped on the name, and made it a funny flower.
Hetty was trembling.