"What is?"
In spite of all his old dull certainties, he felt the shock of wonder.
He looked at her, her scarlet cheeks and widening eyes. Even her pretty hair seemed to have acquired a nervous life, and stood out in a quivering aureole. Myron was much bound to his Caddie in his way of being attached to his own life and breath. A change in her was horrible to him, like the disturbance of illness in an ordered house.
"What is it?" he inquired again. "What is it you feel?"
"It"s that," she said, with an added vehemence. "It"s my double personality."
Myron Dill could have wept from the surprise of it all, the a.s.sault upon his wondering nerves.
"You spread up the bed in the bedroom, Caddie," he bade her, "and go lay down a spell."
"No," said his wife, "I sha"n"t lay down, and I sha"n"t give up to you.
It"s riz up in me, the one that"s goin" to beat, no matter what comes of it, same as old Abner Kinsman stood up ag"inst the British. Mebbe it"ll die fightin", same"s he did, and I never"ll hear no more from it,--and a good riddance. But Myron, it"s goin" to beat."
Her husband was frowning, not harshly now, but from the extremity of his distress. He spoke in a tone of well-considered adjuration.
"Caddie, you know what you"re doin" of? You"re settin" up your will in place o" mine."
"Oh, no, I ain"t, Myron," she responded eagerly, with an earnest motion toward him, as if she besought him to put faith in her. "It ain"t me that"s doin" it."
"It ain"t you? Who is it, then?"
"Why, it"s my double personality. Ain"t I just told you so?"
Myron stood gazing at her in the futility of comprehension he had felt years ago, when Caddie, who had been "a great reader," as the neighbors said, before the avalanche of household cares had overwhelmed her, propounded to him, while he was drawing off his boots for an hour of twilight somnolence before going to bed, problems that, he knew, no man could answer. Neither were they to be illumined by Holy Writ, for he had offered that loophole of exit, and Caddie had shaken her head at him disconsolately, and implied that the prophets would not do. But when she had seemed to forget that interrogative att.i.tude toward life, he had settled down to unquestioning content in knowing he had the best housekeeper in the neighborhood. Now here it was again, the spectre of her queerness rising to distress him.
She looked at him with wide, affrighted eyes.
"You set here with me a spell," she adjured him. "I"ll lay down on the sofy, and you take the big rocker. If you see it comin" up in me, you kinder say somethin", and mebbe it"ll go away."
Myron, though in extreme unwillingness, did as he was bidden. He wanted to bundle the whole troop of her imaginings out of doors, and plod off, like a sane man, to his fencing; but somehow her earnestness itself forbade. When they were established, she on the sofa, with her bright eyes piercing him, and he seated at an angle where a nurse might easiest wait upon a patient"s needs, the absurdity of it all swept over him. The clock was ticking irritatingly behind him. He looked at his watch, and took a.s.surance from the vision of the flying day.
"Now, Caddie," said he, in that specious soothing we accord to children, "you lay right still, and I"ll go out a spell and do a few ch.o.r.es, and then mebbe I"ll come in and see how you be."
Caddie put out a hand, and fastened it upon his in an inexorable clasp.
"No, Myron," said she, "you ain"t goin". If I should be left here to myself, and it come up in me, I dunno what I might do."
Myron felt himself yielding again, and clutched at confidence as the spent swimmer reaches for a plank.
"What do you think you"d do, Caddie?" he demanded. "That"s what I want to know."
"I can"t tell, Myron," she returned solemnly. "True as I"m a livin"
woman, I can"t tell you. Mebbe I"d go over to the Turnbull house and set it a-fire, so "t I shouldn"t ever live in it. Mebbe I"d take my bank-book, and go up to the Street, and draw out that money aunt Susan left me, and give it to Hermie, so "s he could run away, and take Annie with him. If that other one come up in me, I dunno what I"d do."
Myron gazed at her, aghast.
"Why, Caddie," said he, "you can"t go round settin" houses a-fire.
That"s arson."
"Is it?" she inquired. "Well, I dunno what it"s called, but if that other one gets the better o" me, mebbe that"s what I shall do."
Myron held her hand now with an involuntary fervor of his own, not so much because she bade him, but with the purpose of restraining her. An hour pa.s.sed, and her blue eyes were fixed upon him with the same imploring force. He fidgeted, and at last longed childishly to see them wink.
"Don"t you want to see the doctor?" he ventured.
"No," said Caddie, in the same tone of wild a.s.severation. "Doctors won"t do me a mite o" good. Besides, doctors know all about it, and they"d see what was to pay, and they"d send me off to some kind of a hospital, and there"d be a pretty bill o" costs."
"I don"t believe a word of it," Myron ventured, with a grasp at mental liberty. He essayed, at the same time, to draw away his hand, but Caddie seemed to fix him with a sharper eye-gleam, and he forbore.
"There"s Hermie," she said. "I hear him in the shed, rattlin" round amongst the tools. You call him in here, and when he"s here, you tell him he"s goin" to have the Turnbull place, and have it now. Myron, you tell him."
Myron made a slight involuntary movement in his chair, as if he were about to rise and carry out her mandate; but he settled back again, and Herman, having selected the tool he wanted, went off through the shed and, as they both knew, down the garden-path.
The forenoon went on in a strange silence, save for the sound of the birds, and an occasional voice of neighbors calling to Herman as they pa.s.sed. Myron had still that sickening sense of illness in the house.
The breakfast dishes were, he knew, untouched upon the table. The cat came in, looked incidentally at the sofa as if she were accustomed to occupy it at that particular hour, and walked out again. Myron drew forth his watch, and looked at it with a stealthiness he could not explain.
"Why," said he, with a simulated wonder, "it"s nigh half after eleven.
Hadn"t you better see about gettin" dinner?"
"I ain"t a-goin" to get any dinner," his wife responded. "I don"t know as I shall ever get dinners any more. Myron, it"s comin" up in me. I feel it." She dropped his hand and rose to a sitting posture, and for a moment, yielding to the physical relief of the broken clasp, he leaned back in his chair and drew a hearty breath.
"Myron," said his wife. There was something mandatory in her voice, and he came upright again. "Now I"m goin" to do it. I don"t know what "tis, but it"s got the better o" me and I"m goin" to do what it says. But "fore I give way to it, I"m goin" to tell you this. You"ve got as good a home and as good a son and as good a wife, if I do say it, as any man in the State o" New Hampshire. And you can keep "em, Myron, jest as they be, jest as good as they always have been, if you"ll only hear to reason and give other folks a chance. You"ve got to give me a chance, and you"ve got to give Herman a chance. I guess mebbe I"d sell all my chances for the sake of turnin" "em in with Hermie"s. But you"ve got to do it, and you"ve got to do it now. And if you don"t, somethin" "s goin"
to happen. I don"t know what it is. I don"t know no more"n the dead, for this is the first time I ever really knew I had that terrible creatur"
inside of me that"s goin" to beat. But I do know it, and you"ve got to stand from under."
She turned about and walked to the side window, looking on the garden.
She was a slight woman, but Myron, watching her in the fascination of his dread, had momentary remembrance of her father, who had been a man of majestic presence and unflinching will.
"Herman," his wife was calling from the window. "Herman, you come here."
That new mysterious note in her voice evidently affected the young man also. He came, hurrying, and when he had entered stayed upon the threshold, warm-hued with work and bringing with him the odor of the soil. His brown eyes went from one of them to the other, and questioned them.
"What is it?" he inquired. "What"s happened?"
Myron got upon his feet. He had a dazed feeling that the two were against him, and he could face them better so. He hated the situation, the abas.e.m.e.nt that came from a secret self within him which was almost terribly moved by some of the things his wife had spoken out of her long silence. He was a proud man, and it seemed to him dreadful that he should in any way have won such harsh appeal.
"Herman," his wife was beginning, "your father"s got somethin" to say to you."
Herman waited, but his father could not speak. Myron was really seeing, as in a homely vision, the peace of the garden where he might at this moment have been expecting the call to dinner if he had not been summoned to the bar of judgment.
"I guess he"s goin" to let me say it," his wife continued. "Father"s goin" to give you a deed o" the Turnbull place. It"s goin" to be yours, same as if you"d bought it, and you and Annie are goin" to live there all your days, same "s we"re goin" to live here."
Herman turned impetuously upon his father. There was a great rush of life to his face, and his father saw it and understood, in the amazement of it, things he had never stopped to consider about the boy who had miraculously grown to be a man. But Herman was finding something in his father"s jaded mien. It stopped him on the tide of happiness, and he spoke impetuously.
"She"s dragged it out o" you! Mother"s been tellin" you! I don"t want it that way, father, not unless it"s your own free will. I won"t have it no other way."
It was a man"s word to a man. Myron straightened himself to his former bearing. In a flash of memory he remembered the day when his father, an old-fashioned man, had given him his freedom suit and shaken hands with him and wished him well. Involuntarily he put out his hand.