Where the devil had Channing parked it?
Rather than wander aimlessly, he hit the panic b.u.t.ton on the key fob and followed the bleating horn noise to his dusty Dodge.
The interior was the same mess. He adjusted the seat and the rearview mirror and pushed up the sun visor.
Carolyn"s sungla.s.ses fell onto the dash. He s.n.a.t.c.hed them up, staring at the black plastic dotted with rhinestones, overwhelmed by the absence of her. The little things might just do him in. Set him on that path of tears he"d managed to avoid. So far he hadn"t broken down entirely, not out of some macho need to show no emotion, but simply because he feared if he started crying he wouldn"t be able to stop.
Get moving. The sooner you get this done the sooner you can come back to her.
Starved, he hit the drive-thru at McDonald"s. After that, he stopped into a convenience store and bought a pack of cigarettes. Whenever stress got to him, he smoked. Carolyn never judged him-she"d always claimed she"d rather him smoke every once in a while than be a fulltime tobacco chewer. He hadn"t kicked that habit entirely either. Some days he needed a pinch of Redman-not that he told his wife that, but she probably knew anyway.
The nicotine from those first few puffs gave him a head rush. But he"d made the trip from Spearfish on I-90 heading toward Sundance so many times over the years he could"ve driven it with his eyes closed.
His thoughts jumped from one thing to another, but they never strayed far from Carolyn. If she had any awareness at all. If she was suffering any pain-despite the doctor"s a.s.sertions the medications handled that.
He didn"t meet any vehicles on the road that led to the ranch. Out of habit he checked out the pasture on his left, even when he knew the cattle had been moved to different grazing areas weeks ago.
Before Carson turned into the driveway, he pulled up to the mailbox and grabbed the stack of mail that"d acc.u.mulated over the past few days. Then he whipped a U-turn and headed up the gravel road that would bring him home.
Home.
He"d lived in this house most of his life. From birth until age eighteen. Then he and Caro and their oldest three boys had moved in after Jed"s heart attack and this place had become too much house for one man. As the oldest McKay heir, albeit only by a few minutes, he"d stood first in line to inherit. His only brother who"d complained about that was Casper-until their father pointed out that over the last decade, Casper, Charlie and Cal had received houses and Carson hadn"t.
So their dad had taken over Carson and Carolyn"s trailer and this had become their home.
As he sat and stared through the dirty windshield, he remembered the day they"d moved in...
They"d left the boys with Cal and Kimi.
The back of his pickup was loaded down with boxes. Even after nine years of marriage, they didn"t have much stuff to move because they"d had no room for much besides the necessities in their cramped trailer. Carolyn hadn"t complained when her sister and both her sisters-in-law had actual houses; she"d just made do.
She wouldn"t have to make do any longer. If Carson had his way, she wouldn"t have to make do with less than what she deserved ever again.
After they"d pulled up, Carolyn hadn"t bounded out of the truck with the enthusiasm he expected. He glanced at her, sitting in the pa.s.senger"s seat, staring at the house with the oddest expression on her face. "Sugar, you okay?"
"I don"t know. There"s part of me that can"t fathom this enormous house is really ours now."
Carson reached for her hand. "It is." He kissed her fingertips. "So how about we go check it out?"
Carolyn managed a wobbly smile, as if she was trying not to cry. "Okay."
They met at the start of the sidewalk and paused, reaching for each other"s hands at the same time. Side by side they walked up the wooden steps to the covered porch. He studied details with a keener eye now that he owned the place. The front door needed fixed; it definitely needed a coat of paint. As did all the wood trim around the windows. Probably Carolyn would like a screen door at the front of the house to catch the evening breeze, so that"d be first on his agenda.
But the very first thing...
Carson turned her toward him. He kissed her very softly and murmured, "Ready?" against her lips.
"Very ready."
"Good. Hang on." Then he swept her into his arms and carried her inside.
He knew she appreciated his romantic gesture when she nuzzled his throat and sighed. After setting her on her feet, he took her beautiful face in his hands and said, "Welcome home, Mrs. McKay."
Her tears fell as she fit her mouth to his and she gifted him with a kiss filled with sweet grat.i.tude.
It"d struck him hard then, as it did every so often, that ranching was his livelihood, but this woman was his life, his heart, his home. Loving her had shaped him into the man he"d become.
Carolyn broke free of his hold with a soft laugh. "Sorry. This is all just too much."
"It"s everything you deserve." He kissed her again. "Ready to check out your house?"
She smiled. "Kitchen first."
"Of course." He enjoyed watching her prowl the enormous s.p.a.ce. Opening cupboards and running her hands over the counters with an expression akin to awe.
Finally she looked at him. "It"s so big."
"That"s what all men love to hear."
She swatted his biceps. "I can"t believe your dad left us all the dishes and pots and pans."
"He won"t need "em. This is the one room he didn"t clean out after Ma died."
"We won"t need to buy anything besides food to stock this kitchen." She looked at him curiously. "What else did Jed leave behind?"
"Pretty much everything with the exception of his favorite chair and TV," Carson admitted. "And to be honest, he"s relieved we"re movin" in. He said he was tired of rattling around in this big old house like a lone BB in a sh.e.l.l."
"He apologized to me that the house needs so much cleaning. But I don"t mind. I"ll know every nook and cranny by the time I"m done."
"Come on." He kissed her forehead. "Let"s see what you"ve got to work with."
Carson listened with amus.e.m.e.nt as Carolyn rattled off the changes she wanted to make. The living room furniture would do for now, but she envisioned something far less formal for a house with three boys. She loved the dining room and swore they"d eat every meal in here and not at the small table in the kitchen. She commented on stripping wallpaper and adding new paint. Every room needed new rugs as well as different curtains. She immediately declared the parlor off the kitchen as her s.p.a.ce, muttering to herself about placement of her sewing machine and needing more shelves in the closet.
They finally ascended the stairs, which opened up to the middle of the hallway.
Carolyn stopped.
"What?"
She pointed at the closed doors. "Do we let the boys choose their own rooms?"
He scratched his chin. "I dunno. Do you think they each need their own room? We"ve got the s.p.a.ce now, but Cord and Colby have always shared. Maybe they"ll just want to put the bunk beds in one room until they"re used to the place and then they can pick."
"Good idea. The one good thing about the trailer was Colton was self-contained with his brothers in a small bedroom."
"Only when he wasn"t tryin" to convince his big brothers to release him from his cage." Their third son had started walking and talking early. Cord and Colby dragged him everywhere with them so the kid seemed a lot older than two and a half.
"Don"t remind me."
Carson placed his hand on Carolyn"s belly. "We"ll need that crib for this baby pretty soon anyway."
"Not for four months."
He kissed her temple. "Like I said, soon."
"Since there are two staircases, maybe we should install locks on the outsides of the boy"s doors." When Carson raised his eyebrow, she said, "I"m kidding. But I have all these worries I didn"t have before."
"It"ll be fine. Me"n my brothers survived growin" up in this house, our boys will too."
"I know. It"s just..." She smiled. "Don"t mind me. Hormone overload."
"Let"s check out our bedroom." He rubbed his lips across the top of her ear. "I"ve got a surprise for you."
The door to the master bedroom was ajar. He moved in behind her, placing his hands over her eyes. "No peeking until I say."
"Carson McKay, if you-"
"I can put a hand over your mouth too, so zip it."
She huffed out an exasperated noise.
He steered her into the room and kicked the door shut behind them. Then he dropped his hands. "Now you can look."
Carolyn gasped and walked toward the brand new king-sized bed. He"d sprung for a new headboard and he watched as her fingers trailed across the curved center, flanked on both sides by tall rounded posts in a rich mahogany. Then she ran her hand across the sheets and looked at him. "You did all this?"
"I picked the mattress and the headboard, but Kimi helped with the sheets. We figured you"d want to buy or make a new coverlet for it, so I"m leavin" that part to you. I also didn"t buy new furniture "cause I wasn"t sure what style you"d want."
"The sheets are perfect." She smiled. "This bed is huge."
"And st.u.r.dy." He grinned. "I made sure the headboard wasn"t too close to the wall like in the trailer."
"In a house this size it"s not like the boys will hear the headboard banging anyway."
Then that s.e.xy, heavy-lidded look darkened her eyes and his d.i.c.k instantly went hard. "What?"
"Let"s break the mattress in."
"Now?"
"Right now. Before we get too busy unloading boxes and we"re too tired later."
"d.a.m.n, woman, I love how you think." His lips teased hers as he undressed her. His hands mapped every naked curve, the heavy weight of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, the swell of her abdomen, and the curve of her a.s.s, hips and thighs. Then he explored her with his mouth. Sucking her nipples as he kneaded the flesh surrounding them. Since she"d nursed three babies she"d lost sensitivity in them, which was why he used his teeth.
Her soft gasp indicated she liked that a lot.
Carson kissed his way down that beautiful b.u.mp in her belly. He rubbed his razor-stubbled cheeks and jaw across the firm flesh, amazed as always that a new life had taken seed inside her. "You"re so d.a.m.n s.e.xy when you"re carryin" my child."
"I"m sure it increases my appeal that I"m also very h.o.r.n.y when I"m pregnant."
He chuckled against her belly b.u.t.ton. "There is that too." His hands circled her hips. "Sit and spread your legs for me. I want my mouth on you." He dropped to his knees and inserted himself between her thighs. She had to lean back on her elbows so her belly didn"t block his access to that slice of heaven.
Her entire body twitched at the first long stroke of his tongue.
"G.o.dd.a.m.n do I love the way you taste. Sweet and hot. Sticky. But when you"re pregnant, it"s a darker flavor." He suckled her p.u.s.s.y lips and dipped his tongue into her opening, lapping up all that sweet, rich juice. Pulling that soft, fragrant flesh open wider with his fingers, he licked and sucked every inch of her swollen s.e.x. Nibbling on her c.l.i.t. Licking her slit up and down in a light tease and then plunging his tongue in as deep as it"d go.
She came hard, those p.u.s.s.y muscles spasming around his tongue while he rubbed her c.l.i.t with the tip of his nose. That set off another o.r.g.a.s.m and he slid his mouth up her hot and slick skin, fastening his mouth around her c.l.i.t, lashing that pulsing nub with his tongue.
As Carolyn came down from back to back o.r.g.a.s.ms, he nuzzled the bottom of her belly and the tops of her thighs. He had to reach down and unbuckle his belt and unzip his Wranglers since the denim was strangling his c.o.c.k.
She pushed upright, a dazed smile on her face. "How is it you seem to get better at that every time?"
"Lots of practice on you, sugar."
She laughed. "Get nekkid, cowboy, and let"s mess up this new bed."
"Yee-haw."
After he shed his clothes, he bounced in the middle of the mattress. "Hey, it is springy."
Carolyn crawled across his body. "You didn"t test it first?"
Greedily, he cupped those luscious swinging b.r.e.a.s.t.s in his hands. "Nope. I just bought the top of the line model. And I don"t mind tellin" you, I hope we wear this bed out fast."
Her fingers circled his c.o.c.k and she swirled the tip around her p.u.s.s.y, getting it wet with her juices before she filled herself with his hardness.
They groaned in unison.
She leaned as far forward as her belly allowed and locked her gaze to his. "Thank you for buying us a new bed, Carson. But I"d be happy sleeping on a sack of straw as long as it was with you."
"That pretty much describes our old bed." He pushed a long strand of hair over her shoulder. "Lots of good memories in that bed. And in that house."
"You gonna miss it?"
"Some."
"Me too." She smiled that secret smile and started to move on him. "But I am looking forward to all the different places we can make memories in this house."
"Good. "Cause I was thinkin" the next memory I"d like to have is bending you over the counter in our bathroom and f.u.c.kin" you in front of the mirror." He slapped her a.s.s. "So get movin" and ride me hard, sugar; time"s a"wastin"."
A loud caw startled him out of the memory.
Carson shook himself, grabbed the pile of mail and headed inside.
They"d made a lot of changes to this house over the years. Kids had come and gone; now grandkids wreaked havoc whenever they came over. Carolyn loved the chaos. Since the moment they"d moved in, she"d said a house this size should be filled with kids. He"d done his best to make that dream come true for her, for both of them.
Now it was quiet most days. Never more so than in that moment he walked into Carolyn"s kitchen and noticed the baking goods she"d laid out the morning of her accident. Cocoa, sugar, flour, chocolate chips, a bag of wrapped caramels, and the dark pan she swore was the reason her brownies were always so good.
His gaze landed on the dishes in the sink. It"d drive the woman nuts if she knew they"d been sitting there stinking for three days. His steps faltered when he saw her coffee cup, half full, pink lipstick stain on the edge, sitting in the same spot in the kitchen where she read the paper and planned her day.