Okay, not that c-word.
"Ain"t no one asked how my hand is," Colt grumbled.
"Or my stomach," Cam said from over by the couch. Which was missing all the cushions. Cushions that Cam was sprawled out on, on the floor, holding his gut.
"What happened to your stomach? And the couch?"
"Colt punched me. It"s okay, Dad, don"t get mad at him. I asked him to. But then it hurt really bad "cause I"m pretty sure Colt does punch as hard as Rocky and I kinda...threw up."
"You threw up in the fuc-" don"t swear, don"t swear, "-in the livin" room?" Was that why the cushions were scattered to h.e.l.l and back? Was he tryin" to cover it up? "On the couch?"
Cam rolled his head back and forth on the cushion. "No, I barfed in the bathroom. I got most of it cleaned up."
"You will get all of it cleaned up because I ain"t on barf-mopping duty," he warned.
"How come Keely"s still half-nekkid?" Cord asked.
"Good question." He looked at Colby, then Colt. "Why didn"t one of you boys help her get dressed?"
"Ma always does that."
"Hey, I tried to get pants on her but she screamed in my face and tried to hit me," Colby said. "So I let her be nekkid. But she did get her boots on by herself."
On the wrong feet, Carson just noticed. "Girlie, you need to put some clothes on."
She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. ""Kay. Wanna weaw a dwess. I"m a giwl, not like dem."
"And thank G.o.d for that," he muttered and shifted her higher on his hip. He glanced at the clock. It was only eleven a.m. Too d.a.m.n early for a tumbler of whiskey.
Then he noticed he was one kid short. "Where"s Carter?"
Colby and Colt looked at one another like they just remembered they had another brother. "Uh, he went to feed the dogs."
"By himself?"
"Yeah."
"You were supposed to help him and show him what to do."
"We sorta...forgot."
"How long ago did he go outside?"
They both shrugged.
s.h.i.t.
Carson motioned Cord over and handed him Keely. "Help her get dressed in a dress."
"Where are you goin"?"
"To find Carter." He pointed at Colby, Colt and Cam. "When I get back this place better not look like this, understand?" Then he leveled the only threat that would work. "I mean it, boys. No one is eatin" lunch or getting so much as a crust of bread until this place is cleaned up to your mother"s standards."
That made them hop to it.
Then Carson went in search of his youngest son. The kid wanted ch.o.r.es like his brothers and Carson had been putting him off, it was just easier to do even the little things himself. He whistled for the dogs.
Weird they weren"t around. They were always underfoot.
He headed to the barn. "Carter? You in here?"
No answer.
He cut to the last empty stall where they kept the dog food. The bag of dog food that"d been half full...was now completely empty. No sign of the dogs or his son.
That"s when he noticed the side door that led to the back pasture was cracked open. He pushed it open all the way and stepped onto the packed dirt. "Carter?"
All at once a sobbing boy launched himself at Carson. Alarmed, Carson picked him up and said, "Are you hurt?"
"No, Daddy."
"What"s wrong?"
"I think I killed Beast and Sa.s.sy!" Then he sobbed so hard Carson couldn"t understand the rest of what he said.
"Slow down, son."
More hiccupped crying.
Once he"d settled, Carson said, "Where are the dogs?"
Carter pointed to the stock tank.
What the h.e.l.l? "Where? I don"t see them. Are they in the tank?"
"Behind it."
Still carrying Carter, he walked over and sure enough, the dogs were lying on their sides, bellies bloated, panting heavily. Then he caught the ripe scent of barf and saw two enormous piles of vomit, mostly comprised of undigested chunks of dog food. At least the dogs weren"t laying in it. He wasn"t cleaning up kid or dog barf.
"You wanna tell me what happened?"
"I went to get the scoops of dog food and Beast and Sa.s.sy followed me into the stall. And they started eatin" and eatin" and they wouldn"t stop! Not even when I tried to pull them away. So I made a trail of food and they followed me outside. But then they started drinkin" and drinkin" from the stock tank. They wouldn"t stop that neither. Then they started throwin" up, like a lot, and they laid down and I thought maybe they was dead."
"That"s why you"re hidin" out here?"
He nodded. "I didn"t want them to die alone."
Carson pressed his lips to Carter"s sweaty forehead. He was such a sweet boy.
Then Carter said, "But then I was scared that maybe you"d whup me for killin" them, so I was hidin"."
He had to work hard not to laugh. "You didn"t kill them. They"re pretty sick though. But that"s their own doin". They"re greedy pups and they don"t know better than to eat everything in sight. I"m thinkin" maybe they learned their lesson."
"Sorry, Daddy, I just wanted to help."
"I know. I"m sorry that you"ve been sittin" out here by yourself, while your brothers..." He sighed and set Carter down. "Let"s make sure the door to the feed stall is shut tight before we head back to the house."
The morning of day three, Carson called Cal and asked if he wanted to come over with Kade and Kane for a couple of hours so he and Cord and Colby could get some work done. His brother laughed, said no way in h.e.l.l, said it wasn"t his problem that Carson had three times more kids than he did and hung up on him.
a.s.shole.
So as to not have a repeat of the previous day, leaving the kids unattended in the house, Carson and Colby saddled up. Cord drove the feed truck and his siblings rode along. He led the cattle through four pastures and Carson and Colby followed behind wrangling the strays. What should"ve taken two hours took four and a half.
By the time they returned home, the boys were starved and fighting, and Keely had a complete meltdown because Colt threw the wildflower she"d picked out the pickup window.
Lunch was a free for all and as he looked in the refrigerator, he wondered where the h.e.l.l all the food had gone. And how they could be completely out of dishes when the boys complained that he wasn"t feeding them?
He shooed the kids out of the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher just to have some peace and quiet, knowing Caro would probably fall over in shock if she saw him. It wasn"t that he believed domestic ch.o.r.es were women"s work-over the years he"d offered to help out, but his wife made it very clear that the house was her domain and any help she needed she"d get from their children. He figured her stance was because if she accepted his help then she"d have to reciprocate and help him with cow stuff.
Afterward Carson sat down with a cup of coffee.
Within five minutes he heard, "Dad?"
He glanced up from the newspaper-the first chance he"d had to read two-day-old news-and saw Colby leaning in the doorframe. "Yeah?"
"I need to work on my ropin" skills for junior rodeo."
"Ride and rope?"
He nodded. "Been workin" on stationary ropin" and I gotta step it up for the meet at the end of the month."
He"d been promising the kid since last week he"d help him get in some practice time. "All right. As soon as Keely is up from her nap we"ll head out there."
Colby snorted. "She ain"t sleepin". She"s been bouncin" and singin" ever since you put her in her crib."
Great. He drained his coffee. "Get saddled up. I"ll send Cord to gather calves. Where is he?"
Colby jerked his chin toward the stairs. "In the bathroom. He spends more time in there lately than a girl. Me"n Colt and Cam have had to start goin" outside."
Oh h.e.l.l no. Cord wasn"t...
Yes, of course he was. He was that age. Where once he could whack off that"s all he"d ever want to do.
"Tell him to get his a.s.s out of the bathroom. I"ll round up the boys and Keely. You okay with me bein" your hazer or would you rather Cord did it?"
"You."
"All right. But it"ll be a short session."
Carson had Colt and Cam carry the bench from the picnic table outside the corral, while he carried Keely. With her mother being gone, the girl had serious abandonment issues. Or maybe she was just cranky from day two with no nap.
Piece of cake, right?
He told the smart voice in his head to f.u.c.k off.
The area offset from the barn was just a dirt pasture-not a setup per rodeo specs, but it"d work for Colby"s skill level. Although he knew if any of the boys took a serious interest in rodeo, they"d have to invest in s.p.a.ce and equipment.
He pa.s.sed Keely off to Colt and squatted down so all three boys were paying attention to him. "Your b.u.t.ts don"t leave this bench, understand?"
"What if I hafta go to the bathroom?" Carter asked.
"Hold it."
"What if a big rattlesnake comes out of a hole in the ground and its fangs are dripping poison and it acts like it"s gonna attack us?" Cam asked with a straight face.
He gave Cam a level look. "Even then. And maybe you oughta back off the evil critter scenarios in front of the littler kids?"
Cam sighed and kicked at the dirt. "I told Ma that readin" would just get me in trouble."
Jesus.
"This ain"t gonna take long, so you all just sit here and watch us." Carson hustled to ready his horse. Once he mounted up, he noticed four angry mama cows outside the corral bellowing at their calves. The calves were too busy frolicking inside the pen to pay attention.
Colby was working his rope, keeping his horse Bart reined in. That gelding liked to bolt and Carson didn"t trust any of his kids besides Colby to handle the ornery thing.
Carson trotted over to him. "Since we ain"t got s.p.a.ce for a straight line, I"ll work the outside of the corral and keep the calf in the center."
Colby nodded, already deep in compet.i.tion mode.
They cantered to the far side of the corral and paused. Carson yelled, "Chute open," and Cord cracked the gate.
The first calf came out and looked around but didn"t run. Still, Colby was immediately on the ball, rope ready. He tossed the loop, made the catch and bailed off Bart, piggin" string between his teeth as he tied four legs together and threw up his hands.
Too bad they weren"t timing because that would"ve been a good score.
Colby untied the calf, it trotted off and he shouted at Cord to get the next one ready. In that moment Colby wasn"t a thirteen-year-old boy, but Carson saw him as the man he"d become. Methodical, determined and compet.i.tive as h.e.l.l.
Yeah, maybe he"d better plan on getting that rodeo s.p.a.ce ready sooner rather than later.
Once the calves figured out they were about to be roped and dragged, they kicked up more of a fuss. After ten run-throughs, Carson said, "You"re lookin" better. You won"t have to adjust on the fly in an arena as you do here. But this practice showed you can do it." He dismounted and handed the reins to Cord. "Thanks for handlin" the chute."
"And takin" care of your horse," he added sullenly.
G.o.d save him from surly teens. Scary s.h.i.t to think he"d have three of them that age at any given time for the next decade and a half.
As he crossed the dirt, Carson noticed his kids were sitting on the bench like he"d asked. Then Keely"s beloved stuffed horse Buckles sailed over the corral onto the dirt. Just as he opened his mouth to yell at them to stay put, he"d pick it up, that little monkey Carter scaled the fence.
When Carter reached the top rail and turned around, most likely to taunt his older brothers with his derring-do, he lost his balance and hit the dirt inside the fence with a bone-crunching thud.