The girls had been all wiggling warmth as they"d crawled all over him. They"d smelled of baby fresh powder and everything innocent in the world.
G.o.d, he couldn"t remember the last time he"d laughed with such abandon. It had felt so good, so right. It had been frightening. He"d had a momentary glimpse of what life might have been in this big house if he allowed himself a future that included others, if he allowed himself a future that included Grace and the girls.
"Oh, Jake, I"m not sure that"s such a great idea. It"s quite a job to get everyone ready and into a restaurant." Even as she said the words there was a faint wistfulness in her pretty eyes. "I haven"t attempted to go out to eat since they were born."
"Then I"d say it"s high time you did. Surely between the two of us we can manage it. There"s a pretty good Italian restaurant in Cameron Creek. Actually, it"s the only real restaurant in town, and I have a sudden hankering for some lasagna."
She ran a hand through her blond-streaked brown hair and looked down at her jeans and T-shirt. Although he thought she looked lovely just the way she was, it was fairly easy to read her mind. "Why don"t I keep an eye on the girls while you go do whatever it is women do before they go out to dinner?"
"Are you sure you really want to attempt this?" she asked hesitantly.
"Positive."
She smiled at him gratefully. The warmth of her smile coiled a ball of heat in the pit of his stomach. As she raced up the stairs, leaving him in the living room with the girls, he tried to control not just the physical desire she created inside him, but also a nebulous desire for something more.
Dinner out with the triplets would surely staunch any crazy feelings that were brewing inside him. There was no doubt in his mind that the evening would be utter chaos, just what he needed to remind himself of how much he didn"t want this kind of chaos in his life.
When Grace came back down the stairs to go to dinner, all thoughts flew out of his head. She"d changed into a royal-blue dress that clung to her every curve and enhanced the lighter highlights of her hair. Her long legs looked silken and her feet were dainty in dark blue high-heel sandals whose open toes displayed pretty pink polish.
She looked elegant and s.e.xy and nearly stole his breath away. "Wow, you clean up real nice," he finally managed to say.
Her cheeks grew pink and she ran a hand down the skirt. "Too much? I threw this into my suitcase last minute in case..." She allowed her voice to trail off as her blush darkened.
He knew what she"d been about to say-she"d packed the dress in case Justin decided to take her and the girls out someplace.
He shook his head. "Not at all. Very all right. I"ll just go do a quick change myself and then we"ll get this show on the road." He hurried upstairs to his own bedroom, trying to still the crazy beat of his heart.
Within a couple of weeks Jeffrey and Kerri would be moved out, Justin would still be living in his pigpen of an apartment and this big house would be all Jake"s. It would resonate with the silence he"d longed for most of his life, and he"d be responsible for nothing more than his own happiness.
All he had to do was be patient, and in a short period of time Grace and the girls would be back to their lives and his brothers would be living theirs elsewhere. Then it would finally be his turn to truly be alone. He had to hang on to that thought, had to remember that it was his dream for himself.
He changed into a pair of dress slacks and a clean shirt, slapped a little cologne on the underside of his jaw and went back downstairs.
"Do you ever dress them all alike?" he asked when he rejoined her in the living room.
"Never. I figure when they"re older if they want to dress alike that will be their choice, but I thought it was important at the very beginning that they each have their own ident.i.ties. Did your parents dress you all alike?"
"Blue jeans and white T-shirts were our uniform for most of our childhood," he replied. "Mom and Dad never had any trouble telling us apart. Now, let"s get on the road."
It took nearly thirty minutes to load up all the car seats and diaper bags and get the girls buckled in safely in the backseat of Jake"s car. It would have been easier to take her car, but Jake insisted they take his. He hadn"t forgotten that somebody had shot at her. He thought it safer to be in his vehicle.
"And that"s why I don"t go out," Grace said once they were finally settled in the car and headed down the road.
"It is a big job, isn"t it?"
"Especially for one person. Usually by the time I get them all loaded up and ready to go, I"ve forgotten where I intended to go in the first place," she said with a smile.
"And your sister isn"t a lot of help?"
"My sister helps when it"s convenient for her, which is very rare. Lately she"s been far too busy with a new boyfriend to have much time for me."
"Nice guy?" He tried not to notice that scent of her, the fragrance that seemed to reach inside him and stir up all kinds of crazy desires.
"She says so, but I haven"t met him yet, which worries me a little bit. If past behavior dictates future behavior, then he"s probably a loser and a user. She doesn"t have a terrific track record when it comes to men." Grace released a self-deprecating laugh. "Of course, I should talk." She frowned suddenly. "Sorry, I shouldn"t have said that."
"Let"s make a deal that we won"t talk about Justin for the rest of the night. To be honest, I"ve had about all the drama I can take where my brother is concerned right now."
"It"s a deal," she replied easily.
In the backseat, the little girls gibbered to each other, creating a pleasant white noise that filled the silence that suddenly grew between him and Grace.
"Do you think they know what they"re saying to each other?" he asked.
"Who knows? They say twins sometimes develop a language of their own. They certainly spend a lot of time gabbing to one another."
"Probably discussing how foolish adults can be," he said drily, and was rewarded with one of her warm, beautiful laughs.
"They do laugh a lot," she replied.
It didn"t take long for them to arrive at Maria"s, the only Italian restaurant the small town of Cameron Creek boasted. In fact, it was the only official restaurant in town, although there was a fast-food place, a pizza parlor and a small cafe, as well.
It took much longer for them to finally get settled at a table with three high chairs the waitstaff had hurried to round up and provide. The triplets garnered plenty of attention from the other diners, but just as quickly the novelty wore off and people got back to focusing on their own meals.
Once the girls were happily settled with sippy cups and crackers and Jake and Grace had ordered their dinners and both had a gla.s.s of wine in front of them, Jake leaned back in his chair and began to relax for the first time in days.
"Tell me more about your mother," he asked, wanting to talk about anything but his own family. He also wanted to focus on something other than how the blue of Grace"s dress contrasted with the beautiful green of her eyes, how the scoop neckline gave him just a glimpse of the top of her creamy b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"She was a very successful interior designer. She owned her own company and had famous clients on both coasts. She went on buying trips all the time to Paris and Italy, and I think I was probably one of the few things she acquired that was disappointing."
"What makes you say that?" he asked in surprise.
"Mother wanted a mini-me and I was absolutely nothing like her. I didn"t care about what a chair cost or where it came from. I didn"t appreciate expensive clothes or shoes or any of the finer things in life. I loved animals and children and knew I wanted to be a teacher when I was still in grade school."
"An admirable profession," he commented. Her hair looked like spun silk in the candlelight that flickered in the center of their table. More than anything he wanted to reach his hand out and touch it, wrap one of the loose curls around his fingers and draw her closer to him.
At that moment Bonnie banged her sippy cup on her high chair tray. "More," she said and pointed to the box of crackers visible in the diaper bag.
Without missing a beat Grace gave each of the girls another cracker. "Natalie was much more like my mother. She loves nice things and she was desperate for my mother"s attention. Sometimes she got it and sometimes she didn"t." She paused to take a sip of her wine. "Sometimes I think I"ve indulged her too much to try to make up for the attention she didn"t get from our mother. And without any father present in her life, I think it was really difficult for her."
"Family dynamics can definitely be difficult," he replied. "Even though my brothers are the same age as me, I feel as if I"ve been taking care of them all my life. That"s why I"ve decided never to marry or have kids of my own. Once Kerri and Jeffrey move out I"m looking forward to being alone for the rest of my life with n.o.body to take care of ever again."
She smiled ruefully. "And here I am with a busted-up shoulder and three babies depending on you for the time being."
"But it"s not permanent," he countered. "Although, no matter what happens with you and Justin, I"ll always consider you and the girls a part of the family." He could tell his words touched her.
"That"s nice, but we both know how this is going to work. I"m going to leave here and probably never see or hear from Justin again. I"ll get on with my life and you all will get on with yours. The odds of us staying in touch are pretty minimal." There was no self-pity or recrimination in her voice, just a calm stating of the facts of reality.
At that moment the waitress arrived with their orders. "They may need to get out the garden hose after we"re finished here," Grace said with a touch of humor as she scooped up a small serving of spaghetti on three little plates for the triplets.
Jake had expected chaos, and there was, but there was also a lot of laughter as they ate the meal. Casey picked at her spaghetti with dainty fingers and ate one noodle at a time. Abby seemed more interested in the people around them than in the food in front of her. But Bonnie ate with gusto, smooshing the spaghetti into her mouth until sauce decorated her face from ear to ear.
As the kids ate, Grace and Jake enjoyed their meals, but even more, Jake enjoyed the conversation. He liked the way her eyes sparkled as she talked about teaching, sharing funny stories of the children who had pa.s.sed through her cla.s.ses. It was obvious that she was well suited to be a teacher, not only from her love of children, but also by the steady patience he sensed in her.
All the qualities that made her a good teacher made her a great mother. Her patience throughout the meal with the girls never wavered, not with spilled drinks, sloppy faces and an occasional cry for attention.
She was beautiful and quick-witted, and every minute he spent with her fed a well of desire that he knew was dangerous. He wanted her. He wanted her in his bed, but the last thing she needed was another Johnson man to take advantage of her and let her down.
And he would let her down. Just like his brother, Jake had no interest in being a husband or a parent for her or any other woman. Still, that didn"t mean he didn"t enjoy the here and now with her and the girls. And it didn"t mean he wouldn"t enjoy having her in his bed for just a single night.
When he"d offered dinner out he"d expected a frantic chaos that would turn him off, but instead what he"d found was three well-behaved little girls and a delightful dinner companion who stirred all the senses he possessed.
When they were finished eating, Grace cleaned off the girls" faces and hands with wet wipes and then looked at him. "Do you mind holding down the fort for a few minutes while I make a fast trip to the ladies" room?"
"We"ll be fine," he agreed with a smile to the shiny clean faces of the triplets. "While you"re gone I"ll settle up the bill." He raised a hand as she started to protest. "My idea, my treat."
"Thank you," she said graciously.
He watched as she made her way to the back of the restaurant where the restrooms were located. Her hips held a subtle sway as she walked that enticed him more than a stripper"s strut.
There was no cheap flash to Grace, just an understated s.e.xuality coupled with a quiet elegance that made him wonder why Justin had pursued her in the first place.
Justin liked flash and Grace wasn"t flashy. She was much more Jake"s type. He clenched his jaw tight at this thought. Of course she wasn"t his type. He didn"t have a type. h.e.l.l, he didn"t want a type.
At that moment, as if conjured up by his very thoughts alone, his brother entered the restaurant. Shirley was at his side, clinging to his arm like a tick to a big-haired dog.
Justin waved and wove through the tables toward Jake, who felt a rise of his blood pressure as they drew closer. This could not be good.
"Hey, what a coincidence seeing you here," Justin said with a bit of a sheepish grin.
"The way I remember our last conversation, I was supposed to see you back at the house," Jake replied with a curt nod to Shirley.
"Yeah, but he forgot he had promised me dinner out tonight," Shirley exclaimed as she looked at the three little girls. "So, this is Moe, Larry and Curly?" she said.
Justin"s laugh was cut short by Jake"s glare.
"We were just getting ready to leave," Jake said. This had disaster written all over it, and he suddenly wanted to bundle up the girls and get them out of here and away from Shirley and Justin as quickly as possible.
Shirley glanced around and then smiled at Justin. "I"ll be right back. I think I need to use the little girls" room."
Before Jake could stop her she took off in the direction Grace had just headed.
Chapter 7.
It had been a wonderful night, and Grace couldn"t remember the last time she"d enjoyed a man"s company as much as she enjoyed Jake"s. He scared her just a little bit-because she did like him so much, and because she knew there was nothing there for her or her daughters where he was concerned.
Still, it was far too easy to imagine herself and the girls living with Jake in that big house, sharing days filled with laughter and then going to sleep each night in the safety of his strong arms.
She shook her head to dispel the inappropriate visions. She"d be crazy to even entertain those kinds of dreams. That was definitely the stuff of heartbreak.
She was at the sink in the ladies" room washing her hands when the door opened and a tall blonde woman walked in. She instantly recognized her as the woman who had been with Justin.
"Grace, we haven"t officially met yet," the woman said. "My name is Shirley Caldwell. I"m Justin"s fiancee, and I just wanted to let you know that you can"t have him." She raised her chin in obvious defiance.
Grace fought the impulse to laugh. "That"s fine, because I don"t want him." She dried her hands and tossed the paper towel into the trash. "And I hope the two of you will be very happy together."
Shirley frowned, as if she was spoiling for a fight that she now recognized probably wasn"t going to happen. "I"m going to give him lots of babies, and he"ll never love yours like he"ll love mine."
Grace saw the desperation in Shirley"s eyes, heard it vibrating in her voice. This woman was obviously in love with Justin and saw Grace and the triplets as a threat to that love.
"Shirley, I"m not your enemy," she said as kindly as possible. "I don"t want to take anything away from you and whatever life you build with Justin." She edged toward the door, just wanting to escape the awkward situation.
"We weren"t together, you know, when you got pregnant. We weren"t dating then so he didn"t cheat on me to be with you." Shirley raised her chin proudly. "We"ve been together for six months and he loves me like he"s never loved any woman before."
"Then I wish you both the best of luck." Grace left the bathroom with Shirley at her heels. She felt sorry for the woman, had a feeling there was plenty of heartache in her future if she was planning on hitching her star to Justin. She didn"t even want to think about the fact that if Justin married Shirley, then Shirley would be the triplets" stepmother. That was the stuff of nightmares.
She was conscious of Shirley following right at her heels as she headed back to the table where Jake stood, a look of strain on his face, quickly followed by an expression of relief at the sight of her.
He stepped toward her and grabbed her good arm. "You okay?" he asked with a quick glance at Shirley.
"I"m fine," she a.s.sured him, surprised by how much she liked the feel of his arm on hers. She felt protected by his nearness even though she didn"t need any protection.
"Hi, Grace," Justin said. "Guess you and Shirley already met."
"We did," she replied, vaguely disappointed when Jake dropped his hand and stepped away from her.
"Good, then you can help me carry the girls out to the car," he said to his brother. He plucked Casey from her high chair and handed her to the surprised Justin. "As you can see, it"s difficult for Grace to carry the kids with her arm in the sling. Shirley, if you can grab that diaper bag, then we can all get the girls settled into my car."
There was a ring of authority in Jake"s voice that Grace was surprised both Justin and Shirley responded to. Jake picked up Abby and Bonnie, and Grace followed them all, slightly bemused by the procession that had her empty-handed and lagging behind.
"That has to be the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me," she said moments later as Jake was driving her and the girls back to the ranch. "Starting with being confronted in the bathroom by my baby daddy"s latest girlfriend."
Jake shot her a quick smile. "I was afraid I might have to storm in there to protect you from her pulling out all your hair or something."
"And what makes you think I couldn"t have kicked the stuffing out of her if I"d needed to?" she countered with a grin.
"You look more like a lover than a fighter," he replied. He snapped his gaze from her to the street ahead and just that quickly it was there between them again, that simmering tension that curled heat in her stomach and made her want...something...something she shouldn"t, something she couldn"t have.
"It was a surprise to turn around from the sink in the bathroom and see Shirley standing there," she said in an effort to ease some of that tension. "She"s in love with Justin. She just wanted to stake her claim."
"He"ll only break her heart, too. That"s what he does, breaks hearts."
Grace smiled. "He didn"t break my heart. Oh, he might have destroyed a little fantasy I"d entertained."