He was fully aroused, his hardness pressed against her thigh, and she reached down and wrapped her fingers around his velvet soft skin, eliciting a low, deep moan from him.
She felt him throbbing in her grasp and loved that she was doing that to him, that she had him so aroused and ready to take her.
And she wanted him to take her. A sweet urgency of need sizzled through her as they continued to touch and taste each other.
She cried out in pleasure as his fingers finally found the center of her, moving against the sensitive skin and calling forth a tidal wave of pleasure. As the wave rushed over her his name escaped her lips as her body shuddered with the force.
His eyes shone with satisfaction as the shudders finally stopped and she released a sigh of sated pleasure. But he wasn"t finished yet.
He rolled on top of her and she opened her thighs to welcome him, her need rising once again as his mouth found hers in a kiss that seared her soul.
Still kissing, he eased into her and released a sigh of utter bliss. "I think I"ve wanted this since the moment I first saw you," he whispered.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the depth of emotion his contained, knowing that it was the emotion of the moment, one that would be gone when their lovemaking was over.
He moved inside her and her breath caught in her chest at the sensual a.s.sault. Then there was no more thought as their hips moved together, friction firing up a wildness that consumed her.
Her second o.r.g.a.s.m washed over her as she clung to his shoulders. While she was still trembling with the force of it she felt him reach his own.
As sweet as her joy was, the sudden depth of her despair at the knowledge that it was over whispered through her made tears burn at her eyes.
"Hey, you okay?"
She opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her, a look of concern on his face. She swallowed against the threat of tears and offered him a smile. "After that how could I not be okay?"
For several long seconds they held each other"s gazes. She wondered if he could see the love shining in her eyes. Unfortunately, she couldn"t read his; they remained dark and enigmatic.
He kissed her then, a deep kiss that tasted of love and yet also held more than a whisper of goodbye. When the kiss ended she rolled out from under him and went into the bathroom.
Minutes later she stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at her reflection. If it wasn"t insane, she would pack up the girls at that moment and leave with the scent of him still clinging to her skin, with the taste of him still sweet in her mouth. She would leave before she spent the rest of the night in his arms, letting him dig deeper into her heart.
But she wasn"t going to drag her girls out in the middle of the night. And she wasn"t going to deprive herself of the rest of this night, even though she knew each moment she spent with Jake would only make the pain of leaving in the morning worse.
It was crazy, wasn"t it? To even want a future with him-to see him as the soul mate she"d always dreamed of. It was stupid and weird to believe that there could ever be a future with the brother of the father of her children.
When she left the bathroom and got back into bed, Jake immediately pulled her into his arms. She smelled the soapy scent of him and realized he"d washed up as well.
He turned out the bedside lamp and she fit neatly into the spoon of his body. Once again she found her self giving in to him, settling into his arms as if it was where she belonged.
"Did I hurt your shoulder?" he asked, the words a soft whisper just behind her ear.
"No, it"s fine."
"Are you sure you don"t need to hang around here another day or two to let it heal a little more before you head back?" he asked.
What she wanted was to hang around here another ten, twenty, fifty years. She wanted to be with Jake for the rest of her life. She wanted him to be the father of the triplets. But that was fantasy thinking, foolish wistfulness.
"I should be able to handle going home tomorrow with no problem," she replied.
"I have to confess there"s a part of me that"s going to miss you and the girls." His arms tightened around her.
She held her breath, waiting for, desperately wanting something more from him. Just ask me to stay, she inwardly begged. Just tell me you want me and the girls in your life forever.
A long silence grew, and then she realized he"d fallen asleep.
Squeezing her eyes closed, she realized with a heart-sickening finality what she"d known the first time she"d met Justin-that there was nothing for her here.
Jake awoke early, before dawn had even begun to streak tentative light across the sky. Grace was no longer in his arms, but rather sleeping soundly, curled up in a fetal position on the opposite side of the bed. He wished there was enough light so he could watch her sleeping. To fill his heart with the sight of her, her hair sleep-tousled and all the worry gone from her face.
He crept out of the bed without waking her, grabbed his clothes for the day and then walked quietly down the hallway to the other bathroom in order to shower and dress without bothering her.
She was leaving today. She was taking her children and leaving his house. Things would go back to the way they had been before she"d arrived.
He should be happy, but as he stepped beneath the hot spray of the shower, happiness wasn"t the emotion that resonated through him.
As he washed away the scent of her, all he could think of was what a mess this had all become. He hoped that if Shirley was responsible for the attacks on Grace then Greg would get evidence of it and Shirley would face the consequences.
In the very depths of his soul he thought she was the likely culprit. He just didn"t want to believe that Justin had played a role in the attacks in any way.
But if nothing else had come out of this time with Grace, Jake now realized he needed to let go of his brother. It was time for Justin to stand or fall on his own.
Grace had been right when she"d told him he"d been carrying the sins of his father for too long. Nothing he could do would fix the childhood the three men had endured, a childhood they had all endured together. It was time to let go of the responsibility and let Justin be a man.
After he"d showered and dressed and left the bathroom, he thought he heard a sound from the girls" room. One peek into the room and he saw Bonnie peering over the top of her crib, her wide smile sliding straight into his heart as she raised her arms to him.
Seeing that the other two were still sleeping, he hurried to her crib and picked her up. He didn"t speak to her until he"d left the room.
"You"re a little early bird this morning," he said as he carried her down the stairs.
She bounced on his hip and wrapped her arms around his neck, as if delighted to have him all to herself. He was going to miss them. He"d never thought it possible, but he was going to miss seeing the triplets" smiling faces first thing in the morning, hearing their babble and giggles filling the house.
As he placed Bonnie in one of the high chairs in the kitchen, he didn"t even want to think about how much he was going to miss Grace.
Always before the thought of silence in the house had filled him with a sense of pleasure. But when he thought about how quiet the house would be with the triplets and Grace gone, his heart pressed painful and tight in his chest.
They weren"t his issue. They"d never been his issue, he reminded himself. Justin and circ.u.mstances out of his control had put him in the middle of this, and he should be grateful that within hours he"d be out of the middle of it all.
He gave Bonnie a handful of the round oat cereal he"d seen Grace give her before, then set about making a pot of coffee. As he waited for the brew to drip through, he stood at the window and watched dawn break across the sky, aware that the minutes of Grace and the girls being here in the house were ticking away.
He knew she cared about him. It was obvious in the way she looked at him, in the very fact that she"d made love with him the night before. She cared about him a lot, might even fancy herself in love with him.
But he couldn"t help but wonder if most of her attraction to him was because he looked like Justin, because she could fantasize just by looking at him that he was her daughters" father.
When he"d held her in his arms last night and she"d closed her eyes, had she imagined that he was his brother? Had she pretended that it was Justin kissing her, Justin loving her? After all, Jake was the version of Justin she"d probably like to have.
He shook his head to dislodge the thought. At this point what did it matter? Justin wasn"t going to suddenly become the man she needed in her life. Jake wasn"t going to abandon his own dreams. She was leaving. Within weeks Jeffrey and Kerri would be moved out, and he"d decided moments before that from now on Justin would truly be on his own.
The future he"d always dreamed for himself was a mere stone"s throw away. All he had to do was get through the goodbyes of this morning and the rest of his life would fall into place.
He heard the water start running someplace upstairs and knew that Grace was up. Another early riser probably eager to get back to her real life, he thought as a hard knot formed in the pit of his stomach.
She"d been fine before she"d come here, and there was no reason for him to believe that she wouldn"t be fine when she left. She was a strong woman, had apparently had to be strong all her life. He didn"t need to worry about her.
Minutes later she came into the kitchen. "Looks as if I"m not the only early riser," she said as she dropped a kiss on Bonnie"s forehead and then moved to the coffeemaker on the countertop.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked, trying not to notice how pretty she looked in a pair of jeans and a jewel-green blouse that electrified the green of her eyes.
"Very well," she replied. As she turned to pour herself a cup of coffee, he fought the impulse to step up behind her and press his lips against the nape of her neck.
He wondered if it was just an effort to somehow continue the intimacy they"d shared the night before.
When she turned to face him he was glad he hadn"t, for there was a distance in her eyes that let him know she was already gone. Mentally and emotionally she was already back on the road headed home.
"You want some breakfast?" he asked.
She shook her head and carried her cup to the table. "No, when Abby and Casey wake up I"ll feed them before we take off, but I"m really not hungry."
He remained standing at the window. "Going to be a beautiful day for your drive home."
"I"m just looking forward to getting home and back into my own routine."
"How"s the shoulder?"
She moved it experimentally. "Still a little stiff and sore, but manageable. We"ll be fine, Jake."
"I know," he replied. "I"m just sorry it has to be this way. I"m sorry you didn"t get what you came here for where Justin is concerned."
She offered him a small smile. "I told you before, you don"t owe me any apologies on his behalf. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?" She took a sip of her coffee and then placed the mug on the table. "The good thing is I know where to come if any health issues should arise with the girls and I need answers. They will know where they come from. I won"t have to have the embarra.s.sment of telling them I don"t know who or where their father is. Eventually Justin will probably have to deal with them one way or another, but there"s nothing more I can do here." She released a deep sigh. "I"m ready to go home."
At that moment one of the other girls upstairs cried out and officially the day began. It was just after nine when the triplets had been fed, the car had been loaded and there was nothing left to do except tell her goodbye.
He stood at her driver"s side door and watched as she slid behind the wheel. There was a part of him that wanted to stop her, to tell her that somehow, someway, she"d gotten under his skin, delved into his heart in a way he hadn"t expected.
He wanted to pull her out from behind the steering wheel and grab her, feel the warmth of her against him once again and tell her that he didn"t want her to leave. But his body refused to follow through on the thought.
"Bye-bye," Bonnie said, and the other two little girls echoed the sentiment.
"And I think that"s my cue," Grace said as she started the engine. "I left my address and phone numbers on a piece of paper on the kitchen table for Justin. If he ever decides he wants to discuss the girls or come and see them, then all he needs to do is call me and we"ll set something up."
"Grace?" He wasn"t sure what he wanted to say, but he was fairly sure it wasn"t goodbye.
"Yes?" For a moment in the depths of her eyes he saw something shiny and bright, something that made him feel if she drove out of his driveway it would be the worst thing that ever happened to him. Yet he wasn"t willing to change anything.
"Drive safely," he finally said.
The light in her eyes dimmed slightly, and she put the car into gear. "I will." She drew a deep breath. "Jake, you"re a man who is meant to be a husband and a father. This big house was meant to be filled with family. You"ve spent the first half of your life fixing everybody else"s. Don"t spend the last half of your life running away from your own."
She didn"t wait for him to reply but stepped on the gas and shot down the driveway as if chased by the devil himself. He watched until the car disappeared from his vision and only then turned and headed back inside.
The utter silence of the house should have embraced him with welcoming arms. He walked through the living room and heard only the sound of his own beating heart.
It"s what he"d always wanted. It"s what he"d dreamed of. Tomorrow Kerri and Jeffrey would be home, and he doubted that he"d hear from Justin anytime soon. He"d have the house and the silence to himself for the remainder of the day.
The sight of the three high chairs in the kitchen speared a surprising feeling of loss through his heart. For the last couple of days they"d felt like his children.
And Grace had felt like his woman.
But I don"t want a woman, he told himself as he sank down at the table. And he didn"t want children. He didn"t want the mess, the fuss and the noise. He didn"t want the dramas or the responsibilities that came with relationships and parenthood. He"d done enough where that was concerned.
Peace and quiet. What more could a man ask for? He picked up the sheet of paper where Grace had written her address and phone numbers.
By all rights she should have run as fast and as far as she could after her first meeting with Justin, but she hadn"t. She"d stuck around to give him a second chance. She"d desperately wanted a father for her daughters. She told him she knew what it was like to grow up without one, and that wasn"t what she wanted for her babies.
Of all the men in the world she could have fallen into bed with at a wedding, why did it have to be Justin, who would probably never find it within himself to be what Grace and the girls needed?
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, playing and replaying each and every moment he"d spent with her and the triplets.
He made himself a mental note to call Greg later in the day to see if he had any news about the attacks. Even though Grace was gone, Jake still wanted the guilty party found. And if it had been Shirley, then Justin would be crazy to stick with a woman capable of that kind of thing.
Grace had told him that it had been a near-death experience that had made her decide to come here to the ranch in the first place, and then she"d gone from the frying pan into the fire by being attacked here.
He opened his eyes and sat up straighter with a frown. She"d told him she"d been forced off the road a couple of days before coming here. It had only been by the grace of G.o.d that her car hadn"t flipped over and killed her. It had been a close call.
His brain suddenly fired with all kinds of suppositions. Was it possible that the shooting had been the second attempt on Grace"s life? That the first attempt had been that night in Wichita before she"d ever left to come here?
If that was the case, then it changed everything. That had happened before Justin even knew about the triplets, before Shirley had known anything about Grace and Justin"s night together.
His heart began beating an unnatural rhythm of stress. If that was the case, then it meant somebody had tried to kill her in Wichita and then had followed her here to try again.
And if that was true, then that meant she wasn"t driving back to safety but rather was driving back into danger.
Chapter 11.
Alone.
Grace had been alone most of her life. When she"d been young she"d learned to give herself the comfort and love she didn"t get from her mother. She certainly got little true companionship or caring from her sister.
The triplets filled her heart and soul like n.o.body and nothing ever had before, but they weren"t meant to fill the loneliness that had been a part of Grace"s life for as long as she could remember.
Jake had filled that s.p.a.ce, that loneliness, and more than that there had been several times when he"d given her a touch of crazy hope that there might be something there with him for her and her girls.
Until the moment she"d put her car into gear, that little touch of hope had shimmered in her heart. He"d spoken her name with such wanting, and her heart had nearly stopped in antic.i.p.ation of him pulling her out of the car and telling her he loved her and the girls. But he"d let her drive away, and by the time she"d reached the end of the ranch"s driveway, tears raced down her cheeks.