"That"s going to be your view, princess," Simon murmured while Meghann gulped down the blood he"d brought her. Warm, she thought, not from a transfusion pack and not a vampire"s blood. Simon must have gone out on a quick hunt while she nursed Elizabeth.
He must have fed during his absence too, she thought, noticing how much better he looked. The sunken eyes and sickly skin had vanished, replaced with his usual creamy color and alert gold eyes.
"It wasn"t the blood that restored me, Meghann it was you. I truly thought I"d lost you, sweetheart. When you came in before and heard my apology I"d give my daughter anything, and the one thing she needed above all else her mother I could not provide."
Simon offered the baby one finger, smiling as the infant grasped it with all her strength. "You see she has your eyes? Last night, they hadn"t completely changed yet from infant blue. It killed me to look at her and see you think our daughter"s eyes were all I"d have to remember you. We managed to stop your bleeding or rather I should say, Doctor Winslow"s skill stopped your bleeding. But it seemed you"d already lost too much you wouldn"t wake up no matter how much blood we pumped into you. We tried not to say it, but it seemed your mind and soul had moved on even though your vampire body wouldn"t die and set you free."
Simon"s eyes narrowed and he leaned over, careful not to disturb Elizabeth, as he fingered the silver cross around Meghann"s neck. "I have not seen that before."
"Alcuin gave it to me," Meghann replied, staring down with some shock at the gift that had managed to make it into the physical world with her. Simon showed no surprise when she explained the crucifix"s provenance, though his mouth curved down in displeasure. "He wants me to give it to Elizabeth."
"The great saint of the vampires wishes to pa.s.s on a relic to my child?"
"My child too," Meghann said pointedly. "And I think you should know I wouldn"t be here if it wasn"t for Alcuin. I"m not sure where I was but it I was Maggie again, with no memory whatsoever of you or transformation. I would have died and stayed in that place but Alcuin came and told me if I wanted to come back here, he"d help me do it."
Simon raised an eyebrow. "Alcuin sent you back to me? Has death turned the cleric daft?"
"He helped me back because I asked him to nothing would keep me from my baby," Meghann said quietly. "He said nothing about you except he said he hoped you realized what you had in me."
For a moment something dark pa.s.sed over Simon"s face and then it was gone.
He stood up and smiled at Meghann as he sat down in the rocking chair. "I know Alcuin considers me evil I was not aware he questioned my intelligence. Let"s not discuss my uncle"s ramblings right now. I"d like to hold both my girls, little one. Will you come sit with us?"
Any lingering uncertainty faded at the protective hands wrapped around Elizabeth, the soft, hopeful look in Simon"s eyes as he smiled up at her. Meghann couldn"t shatter this moment with harsh words and recriminations. Smiling back at him, she perched on his lap, one hand wrapped around his neck while the other rested on top of their daughter"s head.
The baby turned toward her hand and made a soft murmur of contentment.
Simon smiled at the sound and whispered so the infant wouldn"t wake up. "You were wrong, Meghann."
"Hmmn?" she said disinterestedly, taking the baby from his arms so she could cuddle the warm little bundle.
"When you screamed that I wanted to take everything worth living for away from you. I do want you to have a family to love."
Meghann flushed, remembering all the insults and barbs she"d flung at him in her rage when she found out what he"d been doing to Jimmy. She"d told him that she hated him, that she"d never allow him near their child. Yet here she was, nestling on his lap, taking comfort in the heat of his body that she felt through his thick linen shirt. No doubt he thought her the stupid b.i.t.c.h Jimmy Delacroix called her.
"Capricious, perhaps." Simon smiled at her. "Certainly not stupid merely possessed of a ferocious Irish temper you make little effort to restrain. I did not bring that up to reproach you, Meghann, or because I"m fishing for an apology I know will be never be forthcoming "
"Apology!" Meghann said heatedly and immediately lowered her voice at Elizabeth"s wide-open, startled eyes. She continued on in a sarcastic whisper.
"You want me to beg your pardon for catching you red-handed, you arrogant devil "
Simon threw back his head and laughed, drawing an enthusiastic gurgle from Elizabeth. "Sometimes it"s amusing to be on the rough side of your tongue, little one. No, I neither expect nor crave an apology. I merely meant to ask if you could be content with what I give you."
Meghann didn"t have to ask what he meant. Simon wanted to know if she could accept him as he was both the gentle lover and father he"d be with her and Elizabeth, as well as the brutal creature that dealt so mercilessly with anyone he considered his enemy like Jimmy Delacroix. But he didn"t have to hate anyone to hurt them, Meghann knew. Simon didn"t hate the mortals he fed from he simply considered them insignificant beings to use as the spirit moved him and would never understand Meghann"s guilt at satisfying the blood l.u.s.t.
Nor would he even try to reform himself in an effort to please her. If Meghann couldn"t reconcile herself to what Lord Baldevar was, their lives together would be nothing but misery as she reacted with bitter disappointment every time he did something that went against her scruples.
Too, what kind of life would it be for Elizabeth watching her parents tear into each other with hateful, cutting words? Through her practice, Meghann had seen the end result of disastrous marriages the bleak-eyed children that broke her heart when she saw that they had no belief at all in love because they"d never been given any or never seen their parents give each other anything but grief and pain.
She"d never allow that to happen to Elizabeth.
That left her with two alternatives leave Lord Baldevar but allow him to be part of Elizabeth"s life or accept him completely, swallowing her fear and disgust at the worst part of his soul. If she did that, though, what would happen to her soul and Elizabeth"s?
"Little one," Simon said after a prolonged silence, "why isn"t it enough that I care for you and Elizabeth as I"ve never cared for anyone else? Are you truly going to toss what we could have away for a world of strangers that will never even appreciate your actions?"
Meghann flinched at Simon"s harsh tone, at his bitter but somehow accepting expression. It was almost as though he knew she was going to leave him and he"d resigned himself to losing her. Would Simon really let her walk away? Meghann thought, trying to remember when she"d ever seen him look like this, and then it came to her. He"d worn this probing, intense expression the first night they met when he was trying to decide whether to kill her or transform her.
"That was no decision at all." Simon laughed and attached his lips to the hollow of her throat. She felt a small stab of desire go through her and barely heard the rest of his words. "It only took one kiss for me to know I was never going to let you go. One kiss, Meghann, and I fell in love with you."
"No one ever kissed me like you did," she murmured shyly and felt his hand on the back of her neck, guiding her lips to his. Apparently he wasn"t planning to let her go at all though he seemed to have decided that talking was pointless. They had one moment of delicious contact before a high-pitched squeal made Meghann pull away. Looking down, she saw that she"d squished the baby when she pressed herself against Simon. The infant shifted and then opened her green eyes to give her thoughtless parents a sleepy glare.
Meghann and Simon looked down at the perturbed little face and laughed together.
"p.r.i.c.kly little thing, isn"t she?" Meghann giggled, feeling the tension in the room dissipate as they smiled at the scowling baby.
"My daughter has the temperament of an angel."
Simon sniffed and gave her a flickering grin. "Unless someone denies her or causes her trouble then she screams like a banshee until all her wishes are satisfied."
"I wonder where she got that from?" Meghann said wryly while she set the baby down in her antique mahogany Empire cradle. Simon stood on the other side, and together they rocked Elizabeth to sleep, gazing at each other all the time with hungry, eager eyes.
"Good night, precious," Meghann whispered and leaned down to kiss the downy forehead.
"She"ll be awake soon enough," Simon said. "She eats every three hours.
Speaking of which, I must feed you now, little mother. You still look somewhat drawn and you"re nursing Elizabeth you must eat to keep up your strength. And afterward well, who"s to say what we"ll do with the time we have together before Elizabeth needs to eat again?"
Meghann smiled and allowed him to sweep her up, returning his pa.s.sionate kiss with one of her own before they left the nursery. Maybe he was evil and maybe in the future he"d commit some heinous act that would make her hate him all over again. But right now Meghann wanted to take the love he was so eager to give her, to share his joy in the child they"d brought into the world. She"d think of all he was and all he was capable of later much, much later.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
"Is something wrong, Simon?"
"What on earth could be wrong?" Simon asked rhetorically. "You survived your ordeal, we have a beautiful daughter, and you"re no longer behaving like a shrew."
Meghann swallowed various retorts on what had caused her shrewish state and speared a piece of filet mignon. The glib speech did nothing to a.s.suage her suspicions something was wrong with Simon; she just couldn"t put her finger on it.
Meghann"s ruminations were interrupted by the soft click of the front door opening. Her heart leaped when she recognized the presence entering the house and she started toward it but was only a few feet from her chair when Charles Tarleton appeared at the threshold to the dining room, Lee by his side. Both of them looked at Meghann as if they couldn"t really believe she was there.
"Meghann!" Charles finally shouted, rushing toward her and spinning her around, planting a firm kiss on her cheek. "Meghann, I can"t believe "
"I"ve been getting a lot of that tonight." She smiled through the tears that matched the streaks on her friend"s face.
"Get away from her," Lee ordered with an earsplitting grin. "Let me say h.e.l.lo."
"When? How?" Charles said, not to Meghann but to Simon.
"She awoke earlier this evening," Simon explained. "Apparently Elizabeth"s cries brought her back to us."
Though Simon"s expression didn"t change and his tone remained calm, Meghann knew he sent some implicit message to Charles, for her friend"s eyes widened slightly before he regained his composure. What was going on here?
Meghann wondered. Since when were Charles and Simon chummy enough to speak to each other telepathically? More important, what where they saying to each other that they didn"t want her to hear?
But Meghann was too happy at seeing her friends to ask questions. She simply took her seat by Simon while Lee and Charles helped themselves to the sumptuous buffet at the rosewood sideboard.
Ravenous after a diet that Charles informed her had involved no more than blood and an IV drip for six weeks, Meghann devoured a sixteen-ounce filet mignon, along with several thick slices of duck, stuffing, roast potatoes, and various vegetables. Simon, Charles, and Lee attacked their plates with equal fervor, and the meal became quite cheerful, with several toasts of the Chateau Y"Quem that Simon produced drunk to Meghann"s recovery and Elizabeth"s birth.
"Meghann." Charles sobered briefly and took her hand. "I"m so sorry that you woke up by yourself you must have been terribly frightened and confused. I wish Lee or I had been with you but we really thought we"d be saying good-bye tonight.
We thought it only right that Lord, uh, Simon have some time alone with you."
Meghann thought of Simon"s ghastly appearance when she first woke up, and felt a rush of tenderness toward Charles and Lee. How kind of them to respect Simon"s feelings and stay away so they wouldn"t bear witness to that terrible grief that drove him to weep.
Of course why hadn"t she seen it before? The new friendship between Charles and Simon was forged during that long, awful vigil when they didn"t know whether she"d live or die. Meghann thought again of the hideous dark circles under Simon"s eyes, the starved, pale quality of his skin, and knew he must have stayed by her side practically the whole time she lay unconscious. It was his devotion toward her that finally made Charles drop his guard and trust Lord Baldevar.
Meghann started to tell all three men what their loyalty and care meant to her when an imperious wail shattered the festive atmosphere.
"At least we don"t need one of those baby monitors." Meghann sighed and stood up. "Is it the sharpened hearing of a vampire or is she just an exceptionally loud baby?"
"Don"t malign my daughter, madam there"s nothing wrong with a strong set of lungs. I must say though, she"s about to get a pleasant surprise," Simon commented with a wry grin. "You"ll probably have Elizabeth in her cups from all the wine you"ve drunk."
Meghann poked her tongue out and beckoned for Charles to accompany her to the nursery. They flew up and in a matter of seconds Meghann scooped the red- faced, squalling bundle out of the cradle. Rapidly, she undid the top three b.u.t.tons on her b.u.t.ton-down moss-green dress and exchanged a breast for peace as Elizabeth began to feed with the same hungry voracity she"d displayed earlier.
"You can fly again?"
Meghann nodded and leaned back in the rocking chair. "I finally feel myself for the first time in months. All those months of not being able to fly the plane it was like being mortal! Speaking of which, why is Lee still mortal?"
"What?"
Meghann was startled at how discomfited Charles looked. "I thought you were going to transform him after I gave birth." Lee had refused transformation earlier, saying there wasn"t any proof Meghann"s labor wouldn"t continue throughout the day, and he thought someone should be able to stay by her side during the day in case of an emergency.
"Meghann," Charles began and then stopped. He sat down heavily in the window seat, his face an unhappy mix of distress, sorrow, and a little pity.
"Meghann," he said again and stretched his hand over to finger Elizabeth"s rose-petal-soft cheek, smiling at the little girl. "Have you noticed anything strange about Elizabeth?"
"Strange?" Meghann frowned. "Why, no not at all. She"s seems perfectly normal."
"Right," Charles said and sighed. "She is perfectly normal. Meghann, your daughter is mortal."
"What?" Astonished, she sat ramrod straight, making her nipple fall out of Elizabeth"s mouth. At the baby"s irritated whimper, Meghann guided her head back to her breast. "Mortal? But how? Simon and I are "
"Whatever you are, you were once human. Apparently we never lose the mortal genetic code completely it"s just buried within our DNA. My guess is that Elizabeth"s mortality is caused by the same factor that causes blue eyes recessive genes."
"Yes." Meghann spoke slowly, trying to absorb the shock. She looked down at the cherubic little face, the human face of her child, and tried to marshal her thoughts into a coherent line. "But how can you be sure she"s mortal? If it"s that she tolerates daylight, why, that"s the whole promise of the philosophers" stone "
At those words Charles flinched as though she"d struck him. "No, Meghann.
Elizabeth is not a realization of the philosophers" stone. She"s simply a mortal child born of immortal parents. How do we know? Our first sign was that she rejected blood, would digest nothing but your milk. If that wasn"t enough, we ran some blood tests, sc.r.a.ped her ileum Meghann, there"s nothing of the vampire in your daughter."
"You"re not a vampire," Meghann said to the dozing child in her arms. At the news, Meghann felt shocked, for she"d never once imagined this when she fretted about how her child would turn out. She"d been so worried, despite her and Simon being of the same bloodline, that Elizabeth would be deformed somehow or stillborn like all the other vampire children.
"Oh, Charles," Meghann said, thinking her friend looked even more upset when she smiled. "Why do you look so sad? This is wonderful! Elizabeth can go to school with other children, play outside, and enjoy the sun the sun! Charles, who"s going to take care of Elizabeth while I sleep?"
"That"s why Lee hasn"t transformed. He watches over Elizabeth during the day and he"ll continue to do so until she"s capable of taking care of herself. Meghann, don"t look like that it"s no imposition. As far as immortality goes, Lee"s only in his forties and exceptionally healthy he should be able to transform with no difficulties once Elizabeth"s an adult. Neither of us would pa.s.s up this chance to raise a child and we love your daughter as though she were our flesh and blood. I can"t tell you how grateful, how proud we were when Simon asked Lee to formally adopt Elizabeth."
"He what?"
Charles smiled at her astonishment. "Simon said Elizabeth needs a daytime protector and there was no one he thought more deserving than the doctor who brought her into the world safely. It doesn"t seem to bother him at all that Lee"s h.o.m.os.e.xual. No doubt all Lord Baldevar"s vile remarks about sodomites were just a way to get under my skin."
Meghann kept silent but she knew the chance to unsettle Charles by attacking the h.o.m.os.e.xuality he"d been so ashamed of as a mortal man was far from the only reason Simon reacted with such rancor to her friend. Four centuries had pa.s.sed but he still despised h.o.m.os.e.xuals after the humiliating encounter with Nicholas Aermville. How much Simon must respect Lee to overlook those deep-seated resentments and turn to Lee as the only person fit to guard his daughter during the day!
"Of course, it"ll be much easier now that you"re well," Charles continued, taking Meghann"s silence for nothing more than deep surprise. "Think of how much the world has changed since you and I were young, Meghann. No one will think twice about a gay man and a heteros.e.xual woman raising a child together.
Simon also said he said he thought if you did die, you"d at least be comforted by the thought that Lee and I were raising Elizabeth." Meghann blinked rapidly, thinking perhaps Alcuin was wrong and it wouldn"t take that long for water to wear away stone after all. But she didn"t think it was going to be her love that changed Lord Baldevar it would be the love he had for his daughter that might erode the darkness inside him. That would be an unselfish love, that had nothing of the obsession and dark desire that drove Simon to slay anyone that threatened his relationship with Meghann, like Jimmy Delacroix "Jimmy!" she cried and shut her mouth abruptly it would never do for Simon to hear her inquire about him. She gave Charles a questioning tremulous glance was Jimmy still alive?
Charles saw her trepidation and nodded. He"s safe, Meghann. Simon"s honored his promise to you and left him alone. I"ll help him adjust to immortality don"t worry about Jimmy anymore.
Meghann nodded and turned her attention back to Elizabeth. She knew she"d miss Jimmy, her best friend next to Charles, but she thought it best if they didn"t see each other. With her out of his life and Charles guiding him through the confusion of immortality, maybe Jimmy could find his way and build a new life for himself.
"Charles," she said suddenly, forgetting Jimmy as her friend"s words sank in and their meaning disturbed her. "Why did you say Simon wants you and Lee to raise Elizabeth? You made it sound like he won"t be here."
Again, Charles gave her that complex glance of pity, pain, and reticence. She knew Charles wanted to tell her what caused his sadness but something was holding him back. "Meghann, I it"s Simon"s place to tell you."
"Tell me what?" she demanded and at that moment, she heard an utterly alien cry unlike anything she"d ever heard before. It was like sharp nails raked slowly against a chalkboard with an overlying whine of need. The sounds made her break out in gooseflesh, and Elizabeth woke up, crying frightened, agitated tears.
Meghann held the baby close and put her hands over the little girl"s ears to try and block out the noise. "Hush, honey, hush. Charles, what on earth is that?" She forced herself to listen and thought if you took away the strangeness, then it was just like A baby crying!
"The other twin," Meghann said slowly and stared at Charles, bafflement plain on her face. "But I I thought the other baby must have died "
Her voice trailed off, both because it was impossible to speak over the escalating screech and because she"d just realized how strange it was that she hadn"t thought about her presumably dead child at all. It was as though she"d only been expecting one child she"d literally forgotten she"d been carrying twins. No, not forgotten now she felt the slight block in her mind and knew there was only one being powerful enough to put it there.
"But why?" she puzzled out loud. "I don"t understand why would Simon hide my own baby from me, make me not even think about it?" Alarm made her voice scale up and almost but not quite drown out the relentless cry that made her teeth clench.
"Meghann " Charles began but Meghann thrust Elizabeth at him and flew out of the room, directing herself toward the source of the noise. She had to see her other baby, the one she feared she"d lost. She found herself in a room without any light, so dark even her vampire eyes had trouble making out details. The shutters were pulled tightly to drown out any illumination from the moon and she could see that the bulb had even been removed from the overhead socket.
In the center of the room stood an ormolu mahogany cradle the twin to Elizabeth"s. Why was Simon separating the children, sequestering a baby in this drab cave of a room with no toys, no furniture, nothing but the one cradle?
Meghann moved toward the howling occupant of the cradle, finding her eardrums nearly pierced by the high-pitched, indescribable wail.
"Don"t cry," she started to croon but pulled back in shock, stuffing her fingers into her mouth to keep from screaming when she saw the shimmering, translucent skin, the grotesque red and blue veins identical to the ones that used to cover Alcuin"s face. The baby had a short, sharp pair of blood teeth that had cut through his colorless lips. Far worse than his skin though were the child"s eyes. There were only black pupils surrounded by a blank iris with no color whatsoever.
Feeble choking sounds emerged from Meghann as her breath went out of her in a sickly burst. She blinked her eyes rapidly and kept her fingers firmly lodged between her teeth, fearing that if she took them out she"d start to scream and never stop. He"s suffering enough, she thought blindly. How can I, his mother, make it worse by screaming at the sight of him"?