The voice was weak, and she did not know it; but in a moment the light from the lamp in the hallway fell upon a bare-headed, gaunt-featured man in the uniform of a common soldier.
"Judith!"
This time the voice broke a little, and for a moment Judith stood speechless--still--unable to believe that the wreck before her was Crittenden. His face and eyes were on fire--the fire of fever--she could not know that; and he was trembling and looked hardly able to stand.
"I"ve come, Judith," he said. "I haven"t known what to do, and I"ve come to tell you--to--ask----"
He was searching her face anxiously, and he stopped suddenly and pa.s.sed one hand across, his eyes, as though he were trying to recall something.
The girl had drawn herself slowly upward until the honeysuckle above her head touched her hair, and her face, that had been so full of aching pity for him that in another moment she must have gone and put her arms about him, took on a sudden, hard quiet; and the long anguish of the summer came out suddenly in her trembling lip and the whiteness of her face.
"To ask for forgiveness," he might have said; but his instinct swerved him; and--
"For mercy, Judith," he would have said, but the look of her face stopped the words in an unheard whisper; and he stooped slowly, feeling carefully for a step, and letting himself weakly down in a way that almost unnerved her again; but he had begun to talk now, quietly and evenly, and without looking up at her.
"I"m not going to stay long. I"m not going to worry you. I"ll go away in just a moment; but I had to come; I had to come. I"ve been a little sick, and I believe I"ve not quite got over the fever yet; but I couldn"t go through it again without seeing you. I know that, and that"s--why--I"ve--come. It isn"t the fever. Oh, no; I"m not sick at all. I"m very well, thank you----"
He was getting incoherent, and he knew it, and stopped a moment.
"It"s you, Judith----"
He stopped again, and with a painful effort went on slowly--slowly and quietly, and the girl, without a word, stood still, looking down at him.
"I--used--to--think--that--I--loved--you. I--used--to--think I was--a--man. I didn"t know what love was, and I didn"t know what it was to be a man. I know both now, thank G.o.d, and learning each has helped me to learn the other. If I killed all your feeling for me, I deserve the loss; but you must have known, Judith, that I was not myself that night. You did know. Your instinct told you the truth; you--knew--I loved--you--then--and that"s why--that"s why--you--G.o.d bless you--said--what--you--did. To think that I should ever dare to open my lips again! but I can"t help it; I can"t help it. I was crazy, Judith--crazy--and I am now; but it didn"t go and then come back. It never went at all, as I found out, going down to Cuba--and yes, it did come back; but it was a thousand times higher and better love than it had ever been, for everything came back and I was a better man. I have seen nothing but your face all the time--nothing--nothing, all the time I"ve been gone; and I couldn"t rest or sleep--I couldn"t even die, Judith, until I had come to tell you that I never knew a man could love a woman as--I--love--you--Judith. I----"
He rose very slowly, turned, and as he pa.s.sed from the light, his weakness got the better of him for the first time, because of his wounds and sickness, and his voice broke in a half sob--the sob that is so terrible to a woman"s ears; and she saw him clinch his arms fiercely around his breast to stifle it.
It was the old story that night--the story of the summer"s heat and horror and suffering--heard and seen, and keenly felt in his delirium: the dusty, grimy days of drill on the hot sands of Tampa; the long, long, hot wait on the transport in the harbour; the stuffy, ill-smelling breath of the hold, when the wind was wrong; the march along the coast and the grewsome life over and around him--buzzard and strange bird in the air, and crab and snail and lizard and scorpion and hairy tarantula scuttling through the tropical green rushes along the path. And the hunger and thirst and heat and dirt and rolling sweat of the last day"s march and every detail of the day"s fight; the stench of dead horse and dead man; the shriek of sh.e.l.l and rattle of musketry and yell of officer; the slow rush through the long gra.s.s, and the climb up the hill. And always, he was tramping, tramping, tramping through long, green, thick gra.s.s. Sometimes a kaleidoscope series of pictures would go jumbling through his brain, as though some imp were unrolling the scroll of his brain backward, forward, and sidewise; a whirling cloud of sand, a driving sheet of visible bullets; a hose-pipe that shot streams of melted steel; a forest of smokestacks; the flash of trailing phosph.o.r.escent foam; a clear sky, full of stars--the mountains clear and radiant through sunlit vapours; camp-fires shooting flames into the darkness, and men and guns moving past them. Through it all he could feel his legs moving and his feet tramping, tramping, tramping through long green gra.s.s. Sometimes he was tramping toward the figure of a woman, whose face looked like Judith"s; and tramp as he could, he could never get close enough through that gra.s.s to know whether it was Judith or not. But usually it was a hill that he was tramping toward, and then his foothold was good; and while he went slowly he got forward and he reached the hill, and he climbed it to a queer-looking little block-house on top, from which queer-looking little blue men were running. And now and then one would drop and not get up again. And by and by came his time to drop. Then he would begin all over again, or he would go back to the coast, which he preferred to do, in spite of his aching wound, and the long wait in the hospital and the place where poor Reynolds was tossed into the air and into fragments by a sh.e.l.l; in spite of the long walk back to Siboney, the graves of the Rough Riders and the scuttling land-crabs; and the heat and the smells. Then he would march back again to the trenches in his dream, as he had done in Cuba when he got out of the hospital. There was the hill up which he had charged. It looked like the abode of cave-dwellers--so burrowed was it with bomb-proofs. He could hear the shouts of welcome as his comrades, and men who had never spoken to him before, crowded about him.
How often he lived through that last proud little drama of his soldier life! There was his Captain wounded, and there was the old Sergeant--the "Governor"--with chevrons and a flag.
"You"re a Sergeant, Crittenden," said the Captain.
He, Crittenden, in blood and sympathy the spirit of secession--bearer now of the Stars and Stripes! How his heart thumped, and how his head reeled when he caught the staff and looked dumbly up to the folds; and in spite of all his self-control, the tears came, as they came again and again in his delirium.
Right at that moment there was a great bustle in camp. And still holding that flag, Crittenden marched with his company up to the trenches. There was the army drawn up at parade, in a great ten-mile half-circle and facing Santiago. There were the red roofs of the town, and the batteries, which were to thunder word when the red and yellow flag of defeat went down and the victorious Stars and Stripes rose up. There were little men in straw hats and blue clothes coming from Santiago, and swinging hammocks and tethering horses in an open field, while more little men in Panama hats were advancing on the American trenches, saluting courteously. And there were American officers jumping across the trenches to meet them, and while they were shaking hands, on the very stroke of twelve, there came thunder--the thunder of two-score and one salutes. And the cheers--the cheers! From the right rose those cheers, gathering volume as they came, swinging through the centre far to the left, and swinging through the centre back again, until they broke in a wild storm against the big, green hills. A storm that ran down the foothills to the rear, was mingled with the surf at Siboney and swung by the rocking transports out to sea. Under the sea, too, it sang, along the cables, to ring on through the white corridors of the great capitol and spread like a hurricane throughout all the waiting land at home! Then he could hear bands playing--playing the "Star-Spangled Banner"--and the soldiers cheering and cheering again. Suddenly there was quiet; the bands were playing hymns--old, old hymns that the soldier had heard with bowed head at his mother"s knee, or in some little old country church at home--and what hardships, privations, wounds, death of comrades had rarely done, those old hymns did now--they brought tears.
Then some thoughtful soldier pulled a box of hardtack across the trenches and the little Spanish soldiers fell upon it like schoolboys and scrambled like pickaninnies for a penny.
Thus it was that day all around the shining circle of sheathed bayonets, silent carbines, and dumb cannon-mouths at the American trenches around Santiago, where the fighting was done.
And on a little knoll not far away stood Sergeant Crittenden, swaying on his feet--colour-sergeant to the folds of the ever-victorious, ever-beloved Old Glory waving over him, with a strange new wave of feeling surging through him. For then and there, Crittenden, Southerner, died straightway and through a travail of wounds, suffering, sickness, devotion, and love for that flag--Crittenden, American, was born. And just at that proud moment, he would feel once more the dizziness seize him. The world would turn dark, and again he would sink slowly.
And again, when all this was over, the sick man would go back to the long gra.s.s and tramp it once more until his legs ached and his brain swam. And when it was the hill that he could see, he was quiet and got rest for a while; and when it was the figure of Judith--he knew now that it _was_ Judith--he would call aloud for her, just as he did in the hospital at Siboney. And always the tramp through the long gra.s.s would begin again--
Tramp--tramp--tramp.
He was very tired, but there was the long gra.s.s ahead of him, and he must get through it somehow.
Tramp--tramp--tramp.
XIV
Autumn came and the Legion was coming home--Basil was coming home. And Phyllis was for one hour haughty and unforgiving over what she called his shameful neglect and, for another, in a fever of unrest to see him.
No, she was not going to meet him. She would wait for him at her own home, and he could come to her there with the honours of war on his brow and plead on bended knee to be forgiven. At least that was the picture that she sometimes surprised in her own mind, though she did not want Basil kneeling to anybody--not even to her.
The town made ready, and the spirit of welcome for the home-coming was oddly like the spirit of G.o.d-speed that had followed them six months before; only there were more smiling faces, more and madder cheers, and as many tears, but this time they were tears of joy. For many a mother and daughter who did not weep when father and brother went away, wept now, that they were coming home again. They had run the risk of fever and sickness, the real terrors of war. G.o.d knew they had done their best to get to the front, and the people knew what account they would have given of themselves had they gotten their chance at war. They had had all the hardship--the long, long hardship without the one moment of recompense that was the soldier"s reward and his sole opportunity for death or glory. So the people gave them all the deserved honour that they would have given had they stormed San Juan or the stone fort at Caney. The change that even in that short time was wrought in the regiment, everybody saw; but only the old ex-Confederates and Federals on the street knew the steady, veteran-like swing of the march and felt the solid unity of form and spirit that those few months had brought to the tanned youths who marched now like soldiers indeed. And next the Colonel rode the hero of the regiment, who _had_ got to Cuba, who _had_ stormed the hill, and who had met a Spanish bullet face to face and come off conqueror--Basil, sitting his horse as only the Southerner, born to the saddle, can. How they cheered him, and how the gallant, generous old Colonel nodded and bowed as though to say:
"That"s right; that"s right. Give it to him! give it to him!"
Phyllis--her mother and Basil"s mother being present--shook hands merely with Basil when she saw him first at the old woodland, and Basil blushed like a girl. They fell behind as the older people walked toward the auditorium, and Basil managed to get hold of her hand, but she pulled it away rather haughtily. She was looking at him very reproachfully, a moment later, when her eyes became suddenly fixed to the neck of his blouse, and filled with tears. She began to cry softly.
"Why, Phyllis."
Phyllis was giving way, and, thereupon, with her own mother and Basil"s mother looking on, and to Basil"s blushing consternation, she darted for his neck-band and kissed him on the throat. The throat flushed, and in the flush a tiny white spot showed--the mouth of a tiny wound where a Mauser bullet had hissed straight through.
Then the old auditorium again, and Crittenden, who had welcomed the Legion to camp at Ashland, was out of bed, against the doctor"s advice, to welcome it to home and fireside. And when he faced the crowd--if they cheered Basil, what did they do now? He was startled by the roar that broke against the roof. As he stood there, still pale, erect, modest, two pairs of eyes saw what no other eyes saw, two minds were thinking what none others were--the mother and Judith Page. Others saw him as the soldier, the generous brother, the returned hero. These two looked deeper and saw the new man who had been forged from dross by the fire of battle and fever and the fire of love. There was much humility in the face, a new fire in the eyes, a n.o.bler bearing--and his bearing had always been proud--a n.o.bler sincerity, a n.o.bler purpose.
He spoke not a word of himself--not a word of the sickness through which he had pa.s.sed. It was of the long patience and the patriotism of the American soldier, the hardship of camp life, the body-wearing travail of the march in tropical heat. And then he paid his tribute to the regular.
There was no danger of the volunteer failing to get credit for what he had done, but the regular--there was no one to speak for him in camp, on the transports, on the march, in tropical heat, and on the battlefield.
He had seen the regular hungry, wet, sick, but fighting still; and he had seen him wounded, dying, dead, and never had he known anything but perfect kindness from one to the other; perfect courtesy to outsider; perfect devotion to officer, and never a word of complaint--never one word of complaint.
"Sometimes I think that the regular who has gone will not open his lips if the G.o.d of Battles tells him that not yet has he earned eternal peace."
As for the war itself, it had placed the nation high among the seats of the Mighty. It had increased our national pride, through unity, a thousand fold. It would show to the world and to ourselves that the heroic mould in which the sires of the nation were cast is still casting the sons of to-day; that we need not fear degeneracy nor dissolution for another hundred years--smiling as he said this, as though the dreams of Greece and Rome were to become realities here. It had put to rest for a time the troublous social problems of the day; it had brought together every social element in our national life--coal-heaver and millionaire, student and cowboy, plain man and gentleman, regular and volunteer--had brought them face to face and taught each for the other tolerance, understanding, sympathy, high regard; and had wheeled all into a solid front against a common foe. It had thus not only brought shoulder to shoulder the brothers of the North and South, but those brothers shoulder to shoulder with our brothers across the sea. In the interest of humanity, it had freed twelve million people of an alien race and another land, and it had given us a better hope for the alien race in our own.
And who knew but that, up where France"s great statue stood at the wide-thrown portals of the Great City of the land, it had not given to the mighty torch that nightly streams the light of Liberty across the waters from the New World to the Old--who knew that it had not given to that light a steady, ever-onward-reaching glow that some day should illumine the earth?
The Cuban fever does not loosen its clutch easily.
Crittenden went to bed that day and lay there delirious and in serious danger for more than a fortnight. But at the end a reward came for all the ills of his past and all that could ever come.
His long fight was over, and that afternoon he lay by his window, which was open to the rich, autumn sunlight that sifted through the woods and over the pasture till it lay in golden sheens across the fence and the yard and rested on his window-sill, rich enough almost to grasp with his hand, should he reach out for it. There was a little colour in his face--he had eaten one good meal that day, and his long fight with the fever was won. He did not know that in his delirium he had spoken of Judith--Judith--Judith--and this day and that had given out fragments from which his mother could piece out the story of his love; that, at the crisis, when his mother was about to go to the girl, Judith had come of her own accord to his bedside. He did not know her, but he grew quiet at once when the girl put her hand on his forehead.
Now Crittenden was looking out on the sward, green with the curious autumn-spring that comes in that Bluegra.s.s land: a second spring that came every year to nature, and was coming this year to him. And in his mood for field and sky was the old, dreamy mistiness of pure delight--spiritual--that he had not known for many years. It was the spirit of his youth come back--that distant youth when the world was without a shadow; when his own soul had no tarnish of evil; when pa.s.sion was unconscious and pure; when his boyish reverence was the only feeling he knew toward every woman. And lying thus, as the sun sank and the shadows stole slowly across the warm bands of sunlight, and the meadow-lark called good-night from the meadows, whence the cows were coming homeward and the sheep were still browsing--out of the quiet and peace and stillness and purity and sweetness of it all came his last vision--the vision of a boy with a fresh, open face and no shadow across the mirror of his clear eyes. It looked like Basil, but it was "the little brother" of himself coming back at last--coming with a glad, welcoming smile. The little man was running swiftly across the fields toward him. He had floated lightly over the fence, and was making straight across the yard for his window; and there he rose and floated in, and with a boy"s trustfulness put his small, chubby hand in the big brother"s, and Crittenden felt the little fellow"s cheek close to his as he slept on, his lashes wet with tears.
The mother opened the door; a tall figure slipped gently in; the door was closed softly after it again, and Judith was alone; for Crittenden still lay with his eyes closed, and the girl"s face whitened with pity and flamed slowly as she slowly slipped forward and stood looking down at him. As she knelt down beside him, something that she held in her hand clanked softly against the bed and Crittenden opened his eyes.
"Mother!"
There was no answer. Judith had buried her face in her hands. A sob reached his ears and he turned quickly.