"Don"t I get panties?" I asked, thinking about my drawer of s.e.xy underwear.
"No. There"s a phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen. Hit speed dial one and tell the man who answers that I want him to pick up double my usual dinner order from Peter Luger."
"All right." I headed out to the living room and made the call; then I had to search for Gideon. I found him in his home office, a room I hadn"t been in before.
I didn"t get a good look at the s.p.a.ce at first because the only lighting came from an angled picture light on the wall and a barrister"s lamp on his polished wood desk. Plus my eyes were more interested in focusing on him. He looked utterly sensual and compelling sprawled in his big black leather chair. He held a tulip gla.s.s of some liquor that he warmed between his hands and the beauty of his flexing biceps sent tingles racing through me, as did the tight lacing of muscles on his abdomen.
His gaze was on the wall illuminated by the picture light, which snagged my attention, too. I was startled when I saw the art - a huge collage of blown-up photos of him and me: the picture of our kiss on the street outside the gym...a shot of us from the press gauntlet at the advocacy dinner...a candid of the tender aftermath of our fight in Bryant Park...
The focal point was the image in the center that had been taken while I slept in my own bed, lit only by the candle I"d left burning for him. It was an intimate voyeuristic shot, one that said more about the photographer than it did the subject.
I was deeply touched by the proof that he"d been falling along with me.
Gideon gestured at the drink he"d poured for me in advance and set on the edge of his desk. "Have a seat."
I complied, curious. There was an edge to him that was new, a sense of purpose and calm determination paired with laser-precise focus.
What brought on his mood? And what did it mean for the rest of our evening?
Then I saw the small photo collage frame lying on the desktop next to my drink and my worry faded. The frame was very similar to the one already on my desk, but this one held three photos of Gideon and me together.
"I want you to take that to work," he said quietly
"Thank you." For the first time in days, I was happy. I hugged the frame to my chest with one hand, and picked up my gla.s.s with the other.
His eyes glittered as he watched me take a seat. "You blow kisses at me all day from your picture on my desk. I think it"s only fair that you be equally reminded of me. Of us."
I exhaled in a rush, my heartbeat not quite steady. "I never forget about you or us."
"I wouldn"t let you if you tried." Gideon took a deep drink, his throat working on a swallow. "I think I"ve figured out where we made our first misstep, the one that"s led to all the stumbles we"ve had since."
"Oh?"
"Take a drink of your Armagnac, angel. I think you"ll need it."
I took a cautious sip of the liquor, feeling the instantaneous burn, followed by recognition that I liked the flavor. I took a bigger drink.
Rolling his gla.s.s between his palms, Gideon took another drink and eyed me thoughtfully. "Tell me which was hotter, Eva: s.e.x in the limo when you were in charge or s.e.x in the hotel when I was?"
I shifted restlessly, unsure of where the conversation was leading. "I thought you enjoyed what happened in the limo. While it was happening, I mean. Obviously not later."
"I loved it," he said with quiet conviction. "The image of you in that red dress, moaning and telling me how good my c**k feels inside you, will haunt me as long as I live. If you"d like to top me again in the future, I"m definitely game."
My stomach tensed. The muscles in my shoulders began to knot. "Gideon, I"m starting to freak out a little. All this talk of safewords and topping...it feels like this conversation is leading somewhere I can"t go."
"You"re thinking of bondage and pain. I"m talking about a consensual power exchange." Gideon studied me intently. "Would you like more brandy? You"re very pale."
"You think?" I set the drained gla.s.s down. "It sounds like you"re telling me you"re a Dominant."
"Angel, you knew that already." His mouth curved in a soft, s.e.xy smile. "What I"m telling you is that you"re submissive."
Chapter 17
I pushed to my feet in a rush.
"Don"t," he warned in a dark purr. "You"re not running yet. We"re not done."
"You don"t know what you"re talking about." Being under someone else"s thumb - losing my right to say no! - was never going to happen again. "You know what I went through. I need control as much as you do."
"Sit down, Eva."
I stayed on my feet, just to prove my point.
His smile widened and my insides melted. "Do you have any idea how crazy I am about you?" he murmured.
"You"re crazy all right, if you think I"m going to put up with being ordered around, especially s.e.xually."
"Come on, Eva. You know I don"t want to beat you, punish you, hurt you, demean you, or order you around like a pet. Those aren"t needs either of us has." Straightening, Gideon leaned forward and placed his elbows on the desktop. "You"re the most important thing in my life. I treasure you. I want to protect you and make you feel safe. That"s why we"re talking about this."
G.o.d. How could he be so wonderful and so insane at the same time? "I don"t need to be dominated!"
"What you need is someone to trust - No. Close your mouth, Eva. You"ll wait until I"m finished."
My protest spluttered into silence.
"You"ve asked me to reacquaint your body with acts previously used to hurt and terrorize you. I can"t tell you what your trust means to me or what it would do to me if I broke that trust. I can"t risk it, Eva. We have to do this right."